The Inability To Control Anger

[MOLA]

Hello Everyone,

Ever since I've resigned from my job, I have come to realise that for some apparent reason, I am unable to control my anger at times. It has come to the point where sometimes I am able to ask myself (while being angry) " why are you angry?

It doesn't feel right. Something has triggered this pent-up anger. When I'm angry nowadays, I talk in a very different manner than I usually do when I'm angry/emotional.

I'm worried. Anyone ever experienced this? I feel like losing my sanity. :confused:

[Visitor]

Hello Molattee.

I can relate to your experience about anger.
Once, I got so angry, I was afraid of exploding in front of the person I was arguing with. So I left their space and took a walk into the nearby bushland.
Once out of earshot I continued my argument with a tree. Since the tree did not respond, all I could hear was myself and my own truth. I soon realized I was angry in the hope of not having to deal with me fears.
I also realized I was trying to pass my fear/responsibility onto the other person.
I then returned to the person I was angry (fearful) with, to apologize and ask for forgiveness.

Now, I know that all my anger is fear-based.
As soon as I feel tension, or anger, rise in me I ask myself "What am I afraid of"?
As soon as I identify my fear, the anger drops.

All my tensions (anger, envy, jealousy, anxiety, etc) stem from fear within me.
My tensions are never caused by other people, places, things, or situations. It is my fear-based story about these that bring tension in me.

To control my anger, or any other forms of tension, is to control my fears.
And the best way to do that requires me to identify the fear, accept the fear as my own, then face that fear in the hope of disproving it.
That is why it takes faith to over come fears.

Hope this has helped.

[Smile it's just me]

I would have to agree with VISITOR on this but I think I would have to add that for me once I uncover the fear it tend to eventually tie into love....
Example: A parent tells their small child not to cross the street. The child does anyway and just before he/she is about to get hit by a car, the parents swoops them up. Immediate reaction? Anger..."WHY DID YOU DO THAT, YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN HURT OR EVEN WORSE!!!"
Why? Fear...not just because of this instance, but because there a lots and lots of lessons that we pass on to our children to help them now and in the future and it's important that they listen....so you question your abilities as their protector/provider/teacher etc.
Why? Because of LOVE

So even love at times can resemble something negative but it is usually because fear stepped in the way.

[Gem]

Hello Everyone,

Ever since I've resigned from my job, I have come to realise that for some apparent reason, I am unable to control my anger at times. It has come to the point where sometimes I am able to ask myself (while being angry) " why are you angry?

It doesn't feel right. Something has triggered this pent-up anger. When I'm angry nowadays, I talk in a very different manner than I usually do when I'm angry/emotional.

I'm worried. Anyone ever experienced this? I feel like losing my sanity. :confused:
That is a pretty tough one, to be sure, but you call it 'pent up' so you have some understanding of it there, and you say that you can 'ask yourself', and that's good conscious objectivity. It is a worry being overwhelmed by temper, and I don't know your life and all the little aspects of the compounded pressures that build up, but I do know life can kinda get on top of us at times, and just be a bit too much.

[LadyMay]

Yes I've experienced it. Just allow it to flow through you. Beat up your pillow if you have to (poor pillow :D), take it out through exercise, I know my twin likes to box and beat up a punching bag.

There's no way out but through, the more you deny yourself the emotions the more drawn out the whole ordeal will become. Just go crazy and let it all out, over and done with. Though I mean I'm talking over a period of months instead of a period of years.

You're really just going through a purging. The answer to the question "why are you angry" isn't really important, if only that you can maintain yourself as an observer during the process which will keep your clarity and perspective.

[ajay00]

Hello Everyone,

Ever since I've resigned from my job, I have come to realise that for some apparent reason, I am unable to control my anger at times. It has come to the point where sometimes I am able to ask myself (while being angry) " why are you angry?

It doesn't feel right. Something has triggered this pent-up anger. When I'm angry nowadays, I talk in a very different manner than I usually do when I'm angry/emotional.

I'm worried. Anyone ever experienced this? I feel like losing my sanity. :confused:

There is a teaching in the Bhagavad Gita about anger....

Thinking of sense objects causes attachment. From attachment arises longing and from longing anger is born. From anger arises delusion; from delusion , loss of memory is caused. From loss of memory, the discriminative faculty is ruined ,and from the ruin of discrimination one perishes.


Where there is anger, there is bound to be attachments, desires and cravings as well.

The antidote would be self-awareness or mindfulness, which helps one to be non-reactive and responsive, no matter how hard and adverse the circumstances or situation may be.

Here is a thread which I had given on this subject which can be helpful....

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=63983

[OnAPath]

Certain people have that effect on me. It's like their frustration is being brought into me (an empath) and I am amplifying it.

[Lucyan28]

From a famous movie, Star Wars: "Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering"

It's quite an interesting cycle, isn't it?

To overcome such cycles, just let them be, do not resist them, feel them and release them.

And above all, just keep walking and move on with your life ! The movement is one of the best ways to overcome anything.

Try a hobby, have safe sex, some workout, would help a lot !

There are interesting therapies to aid with anger. Try to break something with a baseball bat (just as a precaution: in a safe way, do not hurt people, do not break valuable things)