getting back into spiritual development

[Selenphina]

So... I've not exactly abandoned my spiritual journey, but for a long time I have been running from it. Although there have been many lessons and experiences throughout this time in my life, I have really been resisting my spiritual potential. Last night I came to the realization that it's time to re-focus.

Long story short, in order to deal with things I have seen and experienced (and actually to try to avoid them) I had begun to drink and smoke. Now I feel chains of dependency, but I know I need to change all of this. It's not going to be easy but I have to do it. Then I feel like I can move forward with developing my spiritual gifts.

I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this. Maybe some words of advice, encouragement, or similar experience. Prayers are welcome and appreciated. I am afraid whether or not I can do this. And I want to start meditating again and if anyone has any other tips or advice, I would appreciate it greatly. Or if someone just wants to be a penpal to help me get back on track, that would be really great. Thank you.

[Ivy]

:hug2: I just want to offer you a hug if that's ok

[Tedahson]

You may feel that you "abandoned your spiritual path" but the truth of the matter is that every path you take is spiritual. There were and maybe still might be some thing you need to experience on that path to learn from it.
Let me give you my example: I stopped smoking about three years ago, it was a decision made by sort of forcing myself "to stop being poisonous". I really did stop but it made me think about it all the time, I even dreamed about starting again and after three years I really did start again just to get a big flashback about how me starting in the first place was just my destructive self pushing myself to smoke. Each and every inhale that I made was forced but my conscious knowing was not aware because I actually liked destroying myself. Well now I know the truth behing the matter and I don't want to go back.
It is for you to find that truth as well. It is for you to really see it. As Bashar says: "do the thing that most excites you, it's where energy flows". Your path was spiritual all along, you just don't know it yet ;)

Hope this helps, if now here's a hug as well :hug2:

[Selenphina]

Thank you both. Tedahson... I do agree with you a lot you have wrote. My self destructive habits have actually been a huge learning and growing opportunity in it's own way. I have learned a lot from it all. Yet the reason I started was because I was running from my true nature. I feel like it might be time to move on from it now, though I don't exactly regret the path I have been on. Maybe I'll fail but something seemed to happen to me last night. I'm feeling confident I have learned but am ready for a change. I'm keeping one 'bad' habit, but I won't say what that is.... and as for cigarettes and alcohol, in all honesty I will have some once in a while, but as a rare treat. But I'm not going to continue on as I have been. I want to get healthy again.

[SpiritCarrier]

I just wanted to wish you success on your journey to a healthier lifestyle. It is difficult to give up things that have been a comfort to you in the past. I have found that whether it be drugs, alcohol, food, or cigarettes, these are all just ways we find to comfort ourselves in times of stress. By getting healthier you will need to replace these with healthier choices. It is a long journey but once you find yourself on that path you will feel so much better you will wonder why it took so long to do it.

In stopping your destructive habits you really want to put something in its place. For instance; if you have the urge to smoke, pop a small mint or candy in your mouth and mentally tell yourself, 'this will smell better and it will make me feel better.' After a while the urge goes away and your new habit is there instead.

I wish you success and a healthy and happy life.

Peace and Light,
SC

[Lucyan28]

I know you can do it :)

I had alcohol problems too, I reached the bottom, I'm not gonna tell the story but I have a big scar in my arm that reminds me that bottom.

Don't wait untill you reach the bottom, we know how some paths like alcohol, drugs, can destroy a healthy life and hurt our close people.