Fapertures
05-02-2015, 07:13 PM
For anyone who has not heard from me yet, my name is M. My entire life has been riddled with small hallucinations, sleep paralysis, night terrors, sleep walking and talking, and VERY VIVID DREAMS!
I’m here and joined this forum because recently I began reading a book on dreams, and I’m learning so many new things that all apply to me. I’m realizing who I am! So I have questions and I would just like to speak with some people who understand where I’m coming from and who will believe the things I tell them.
Beginning with my dreams, for as long as I can remember I have always had very vivid, long dreams. There was a point in my life that I asked God if I could dream every night, and from that point forward I did, until my faith was a little bit altered and I stopped being so committed. Now I don’t dream anywhere near as often.
As a young kid I would commonly dream about this same person, and have the same dream multiple times. I still remember them very well and I remember what this person looks like. He has shaggy dark hair, blue eyes, and he is there a lot of the time. My first dream with him, we would play together at this playground and then go inside this weird old building. This dream came all the time. Then I dreamt that I met him again in a backyard somewhere in Harrison, every thing had an angelic, cadmium glow. Another dream I had including him, at my grandparent’s house I met him in the long hallway. It was dark and he came very close to me, held his palm out flat in front of my face, and summoned a blue orb of light, and stared deeply into my eyes. Since I dreamt about him so often I gave him a name, Griffin. I believed he was some sort of spirit that lived in my house. After a while, he was forgotten, and I haven’t dreamt about him much. And in this book, it mentions spirit guides. When I read about that, and how people commonly meet their spirit guides in their dreams, and give them names, I immediately thought about Griffin! I had no idea that it would connect like that.
Anyway, I think I travel places in my sleep. Real places. A year or two ago, I started dreaming about this huge field, with people and animals and landmarks and passageways to all of my other dreams included. I know how to get to the field, and where it’s located. I can’t just spawn myself in the field, I have to go to the town that it’s in, find the trail in the forest, and it leads me there. But before this became a recurring dream I didn’t know this, I just thought of it as a beautiful dream that I loved to have. I didn’t realize I was going there on my own.
If you would like to hear some of my experiences, I have them categorized below:
Night Terrors
Once, when I was younger, I woke up in my bed to an unusually dark room, that looked so weird. The lights were off and yet things seemed to have an eerie, greenish glow, yet at the same time I felt like I was seeing things in black and white. My vision was so distorted, it was hard to see. It was as if my eyes were a fisheye lens.
I felt movement, as if I was on a ship rocking back and forth, that’s exactly what it felt like. I could barely see stepping stones on my floor that had not existed beforehand, and without opening the door, my step mom entered the room. She was talking to me, asking me questions, and I said over and over, “I need to see my dad, I want my dad, get him in here.” She would say, “He’s asleep, I don’t want to wake him, let me help you.” I felt hot, stuck, and tethered to my bed. I don’t remember how it ended or if I ended up seeing my dad. But the next morning neither of them had been in my room that night.
In the same home, at one time I had this weird dream while my dad was putting me back to sleep in the middle of the night (I used to need someone to fall asleep with me). In this dream, I was in some sort of laboratory/castle that you see in movies, and on a small toy-like vehicle a larger barbie doll’s head with only a few strands of hair followed me around and tried to attack me. After waking up from the dream I was very scared and very afraid to fall back asleep. In the dark with my eyes open I could see floating flurries, waves of dancing lights like I always did, but when I’m afraid they take bad shapes. When I closed my eyes I saw faces and people and heard things. I finally managed to fall asleep by burying my head in the pillow, closing one eye and keeping the other barely open, so I could see neither the lights in my room or the faces in my eyelids.
Once I woke to billions of spiders running all over me, in waves, over and over, on my pillows and my body. I felt thousands of little tiny feet. I don’t remember being scared.
Once, I woke up in the morning, looked at the light filtering in my window, closed my eyes and fell back asleep facing the window. I “dreamed” that I was laying there exactly how I had fallen asleep. I could feel my closed eyes but I was staring straight at the window. I felt so calm. I couldn’t blink. I eventually woke back up.
At my grandparent’s house, there was an old porcelain doll that was owned by my great grandmother that I was very afraid of. It sat on the headboard of my bed, and when I would wake up in the morning, I’d look up at the doll to see it turn its head down to look at me. One day after seeing this, and falling back asleep, I had a dream that I woke up trapped in the room. The doll came to life and attacked me. Very scary. After this it was placed in a closet and never removed.
At my grandparent’s house I believed in two things. One: Papa Ghost Man. Two: Little Marissa in the closet. Papa Ghost Man is someone who I would randomly stumble upon entering my grandparent’s bedroom. He was a violet, wax-looking mold of my grandfather, always sleeping on his back with his hands clasped on his stomach, the way my grandfather does. I don’t remember if these were visions or if I honestly walked into the room and saw him there, but I’m leaning toward visions. If he ever spoke to me, it was never through his mouth. It was some foggy voice in my head.
As a two year old, in the house that my father grew up in, one night he tells me he woke up to see me sitting in my crib, staring at the wall and talking to some unseen force. “Marissa, who are you talking to?” I turn to look at my dad and say nonchalantly, “Ghost.”
“Um… okay, sweetie, but you need to lay down and go back to bed.”
I did as I was told, but continued chatting with whatever it was quietly. This has haunted my dad since. He thinks I may have been speaking to his late father, who died in the house and had built the room we were sleeping in.
Little Marissa in the closet was not what I called her, I never had a name for her, but I had some story that came to me in my sleep, I guess. There was a little tiny girl who lived in the corner of the closet in my room, and sometimes I would visit her, or she would visit me, and we would walk across the street to the house my grandfather’s mother lived in. She had a home there, too I think. Sometimes in the real world I would get up and look for her, but never find her. I think one day she moved. I don’t know.
Once, back in the old house my dad and I lived in, the worst night terror I ever experienced occurred when I woke up in a jolt in the middle of the night. I heard voices, tons of them, from a crowd, screaming, yelling, like a mob of people waiting on a lynching. That’s exactly what I was thinking. I could see tons of moving little people on the left side of my bed, I thought I could see pitchforks, tiny little flames, and millions of angry little faces. I was so scared. They were coming for me and getting closer and closer, ready to climb up onto my bed.
There was a clear path on the right side of my bed. I ran to my door, fumbled with the doorknob that I for whatever reason forgot that you have to turn in order for it to open. I just yanked it back and forth, freaking the hell out, and when I looked down to my feet I yelped. I saw my grandparents, tiny as all the angry little people, banging on my door, trying to get out.
There was a sliding door that connected my room to the bathroom. I busted through that door, ran through the bathroom, and when I got into the computer room which led to my parent’s room, I looked behind me and saw a white light approaching. I figured it was them, I could hear their voices coming out of my room.
I burst into my parents room and immediately start climbing into their bed, under their covers, shaking and crying with a super fever. The white light was coming closer and brightening the room. I was absolutely frantic.
In an attempt to understand what was going on, my dad asked me questions. My answers were “People in my room” “Don’t know where they came from” “Coming after me.” I grabbed his hand, told him to tiptoe with me to the kitchen, and SHHHHHHH!’d him with every stomp he did past my bedroom in the dark. In the kitchen I whispered that I could still hear them in there, and he needed to wait for them to leave before I would go back. After lots of arguing from me, my dad finally convinced me to let him open up my bedroom door. Preparing for a wave of little people to come rushing at me, I gasped when the light was on and absolutely nothing was there.
They laid me back in bed, gave me medicine for the raging fever, and lay me back to sleep. I’m pretty sure that was the last night terror I ever had.
Once, In Europe, England to be exact, I had a scary experience after a long day of exploring history of disease. We had visited Mary King’s Close, or Castle, I don’t remember which. Inside the place scared me a lot, because I have always been a hypochondriac and I felt that just being in the place was enough to infect me with the long-dead bubonic plague. That night I expressed my fears to my grand parents, and my grandfather, forever the jokester, made a joke that he could see sores forming on my back, neck and armpits. I was uneasy enough, it did not help at all. When I went to bed, I woke up a few hours later, the room looking very odd and hearing an even weirder whooshing, vortex like sound. I looked up, and above my head, on the wall behind me, a huge, fluctuating black hole was circling and making noises like I’ve never heard before. It looked as if the wall had a wound like the sores found on peoples’ skin after being infected with the plague. When I woke up from this I had a very high fever and felt slightly ill.
Sleep paralysis
I was eleven when I first experienced sleep paralysis. I was being paranoid as usual, up at 2 in the morning, trying to force myself to fall asleep before 3 AM, a time I am very superstitious of. If I’m awake when the clock strikes three there will not be a moment I close my eyes and fall asleep until at least the 3:50 mark, when I begin to feel safer. Anyway, I thought I was dying because of how quickly I had downed my Dr. Pepper, and could feel it sloshing around my stomach. My uncle had told me earlier that day of a woman who died by drowning her lungs with Mountain Dew. I just thought I was dying.
I was afraid to fall asleep, so with my eyes closed every time I would slip into hypnogogia, I would quickly jolt myself awake. I started feeling weird after doing this so many times, and eventually, I jolted myself into another state. All at the same time, I felt my sense of touch disappear, starting in my fingertips and working down my body, and my sight disappeared by an inky black film that bubbled into my vision from the left side down. I was on my stomach, and I could feel all sorts of odd things in my brain and body. My brain felt like it was pulsing, along with my heartbeat. I heard my breathing intensify, louder and louder until that was all I could hear. And I began to feel my body curl up into a ball even though I couldn’t move a muscle. I had no idea what was going on, I was very extremely scared, and when I came back to I sat up straight in my bed, convinced I had just been possessed. I prayed and prayed. This eventually became an expected thing that happened almost every night. I told my parents about it but nothing was done and nothing changed, until I learned what sleep paralysis was thanks to Google probably a year later. By that time I had experienced sleep paralysis in all kinds of ways, waking up from an odd dream, slipping into it while I try to fall asleep, or happening on accident once during a short nap. I started learning how to break out of it and that if I opened my eyes I would see things. Sometimes I heard weird things.
I would get out of it by wiggling my fingers or my toes. Always it felt like my body was a bag of sand, and when I got a fleeting sense of feeling in my fingers, I would grab hold and start wiggling. Sometimes it would just randomly stop working and I would have to strive to regain control again. Other times I tried to yell or scream and I couldn’t get past the trying part, of my chest heaving and my eyes fluttering around, rolling to the back of my skull and all the way around again. It was very scary, even after I knew what it was. Even though it was scientifically explained, I’m a firm believer in demons and I know some of these experiences were induced by one, followed my dreams of the devil in my bed, attempting to conversate with me. At one point I began documenting my sleep paralysis experiences but to this day, February second, 2015, I have not had sleep paralysis for a while. I’ve also forgotten, or well, not forgotten but have not succeeded in causing sleep paralysis for myself since.
Hallucinations
As you know, the hallucinations began early, but took different shapes and forms as I got older. At first it was only bugs and little things, I don’t know what came before the other, but the images that come to mind are all spiritual to me in some way.
I’m not beginning in any order.
I started waking up in the middle of the night with sudden fears of bugs. One night, I hopped up, immediately after waking, and began tearing my bed apart, throwing blankets, pillows, sheets and everything. I was searching for a wasp that I thought had gotten in there, and after I had completely removed all of the covers I realized there was no wasp in my room. My door had not been opened since I went to bed. But I had this clear vision, or feeling of knowing that there was a wasp in my room. I just got back in bed and went to sleep.
On multiple occasions I’ve woken up to look at my pillow and see a spider sitting there. Once I thought I saw a spider disappear from my bed into the covers, and I had a very, very hard time telling myself it was a hallucination, so I slept on the couch instead. This has happened a few times.
Once I woke up to see four huge, red and black spiders crawling across my ceiling.
Now, enough with the spiders and wasps. Nearly every experience with them is the same.
Sometimes when I get sick I hallucinate. Once I got sick with the flu, and the first time I woke up in the night, I saw a black cat hop up on the edge of my bed, calmly walk over me, and begin sniffing around the crackers that were there for me. I said “No, no! Those are my crackers, you can’t have them!” I tried to swat him away, and when my hand passed through him and he disappeared, I realized he was never there.
The same night I woke up again, looked next to my bed, and thought I saw my step mom sitting on the floor with her back against my bed. The back of her head was right next to me. I said, “Brandy? Brandy? Brandy?” and when I touched her head, it turned out just to be my blankets folded up and the rest of her body disappeared.
Another time, more recently, I woke up to the most vivid hallucination I’ve ever had, and the most weird to me. I woke up, laying on my back, which I never do. To my right, there was a very tall, thick boned woman floating a few inches above the ground. She was staring at me. I remember silverish blonde hair, long, tied into a braid on the left side of her head. It looked like she wore tribal clothing, and her skin was silvery as well, and at the same time she still had this eerie greenish glow I see sometimes. I stared at her for a good minute, her staring back. And in some sort of weird, trancelike daze that I could feel myself in, I said to her, “Wow, you are really pretty.” And after I said those words, a sense of fear hit me like a brick, I realized there was a weird woman in my room, and she vanished. I sat up really fast, turned on the light, and kept looking to the spot she had stood in, almost hoping for her to return. I just stared for a long, long time, I was so transfixed by what happened.
Another time I woke to some kind of galloping sound. I looked down next to my bed and saw two lines of three husky dogs, right next to each other, running full speed but staying in place next to my bed. They were hooked to a sled that wasn’t there and there was a man leading them I couldn’t see. I said “Hey! Get out! You’re not supposed to be in here!” and they disappeared.
One odd experience was waking up with that same weird feeling, and seeing red string strung up all around my room.
Once I woke up to see a man standing at the end of my bed, looking at me with the same look I was giving him. He had orange hair, wore long black clothes, and then I realized I was looking at a backpack and a jacket hanging on the wall weird.
Odd Wandering
There are about three instances I can think of that were just odd. Each of these things happened after I woke up from a nap. I would get up, feel that weird, foggy trance feeling, and search for something. Once it was a key. Another time it was a group of people. Anyway, I would search the house up and down for five or ten minutes with an intensity like no other, asking my step mom “Where is the key?? Have you seen the key?” and she would have no idea what I was talking about. After a minute or two, I’d snap out of it, and have to ask myself, “What the hell am I doing?”
Other times I wake up with a brief, foggy memory of me wandering through the house.
Astral Travel
I’m pretty sure I travel to places in my sleep. I don’t remember how long ago, but probably around a year or two ago I started having dreams that all… connected. Not connecting with the things that happen and take place, but the physical places that I went to were all connected by this one big field. I know how to get to the field and everything. It’s like there is this world in my brain that I have completely mapped out, it’s huge, and I can tell you which paths go to which dream and I feel like if I could cause myself to astrally project, travel to the town, through the woods and into the field I would have unlocked access to my own mind.
I’m here and joined this forum because recently I began reading a book on dreams, and I’m learning so many new things that all apply to me. I’m realizing who I am! So I have questions and I would just like to speak with some people who understand where I’m coming from and who will believe the things I tell them.
Beginning with my dreams, for as long as I can remember I have always had very vivid, long dreams. There was a point in my life that I asked God if I could dream every night, and from that point forward I did, until my faith was a little bit altered and I stopped being so committed. Now I don’t dream anywhere near as often.
As a young kid I would commonly dream about this same person, and have the same dream multiple times. I still remember them very well and I remember what this person looks like. He has shaggy dark hair, blue eyes, and he is there a lot of the time. My first dream with him, we would play together at this playground and then go inside this weird old building. This dream came all the time. Then I dreamt that I met him again in a backyard somewhere in Harrison, every thing had an angelic, cadmium glow. Another dream I had including him, at my grandparent’s house I met him in the long hallway. It was dark and he came very close to me, held his palm out flat in front of my face, and summoned a blue orb of light, and stared deeply into my eyes. Since I dreamt about him so often I gave him a name, Griffin. I believed he was some sort of spirit that lived in my house. After a while, he was forgotten, and I haven’t dreamt about him much. And in this book, it mentions spirit guides. When I read about that, and how people commonly meet their spirit guides in their dreams, and give them names, I immediately thought about Griffin! I had no idea that it would connect like that.
Anyway, I think I travel places in my sleep. Real places. A year or two ago, I started dreaming about this huge field, with people and animals and landmarks and passageways to all of my other dreams included. I know how to get to the field, and where it’s located. I can’t just spawn myself in the field, I have to go to the town that it’s in, find the trail in the forest, and it leads me there. But before this became a recurring dream I didn’t know this, I just thought of it as a beautiful dream that I loved to have. I didn’t realize I was going there on my own.
If you would like to hear some of my experiences, I have them categorized below:
Night Terrors
Once, when I was younger, I woke up in my bed to an unusually dark room, that looked so weird. The lights were off and yet things seemed to have an eerie, greenish glow, yet at the same time I felt like I was seeing things in black and white. My vision was so distorted, it was hard to see. It was as if my eyes were a fisheye lens.
I felt movement, as if I was on a ship rocking back and forth, that’s exactly what it felt like. I could barely see stepping stones on my floor that had not existed beforehand, and without opening the door, my step mom entered the room. She was talking to me, asking me questions, and I said over and over, “I need to see my dad, I want my dad, get him in here.” She would say, “He’s asleep, I don’t want to wake him, let me help you.” I felt hot, stuck, and tethered to my bed. I don’t remember how it ended or if I ended up seeing my dad. But the next morning neither of them had been in my room that night.
In the same home, at one time I had this weird dream while my dad was putting me back to sleep in the middle of the night (I used to need someone to fall asleep with me). In this dream, I was in some sort of laboratory/castle that you see in movies, and on a small toy-like vehicle a larger barbie doll’s head with only a few strands of hair followed me around and tried to attack me. After waking up from the dream I was very scared and very afraid to fall back asleep. In the dark with my eyes open I could see floating flurries, waves of dancing lights like I always did, but when I’m afraid they take bad shapes. When I closed my eyes I saw faces and people and heard things. I finally managed to fall asleep by burying my head in the pillow, closing one eye and keeping the other barely open, so I could see neither the lights in my room or the faces in my eyelids.
Once I woke to billions of spiders running all over me, in waves, over and over, on my pillows and my body. I felt thousands of little tiny feet. I don’t remember being scared.
Once, I woke up in the morning, looked at the light filtering in my window, closed my eyes and fell back asleep facing the window. I “dreamed” that I was laying there exactly how I had fallen asleep. I could feel my closed eyes but I was staring straight at the window. I felt so calm. I couldn’t blink. I eventually woke back up.
At my grandparent’s house, there was an old porcelain doll that was owned by my great grandmother that I was very afraid of. It sat on the headboard of my bed, and when I would wake up in the morning, I’d look up at the doll to see it turn its head down to look at me. One day after seeing this, and falling back asleep, I had a dream that I woke up trapped in the room. The doll came to life and attacked me. Very scary. After this it was placed in a closet and never removed.
At my grandparent’s house I believed in two things. One: Papa Ghost Man. Two: Little Marissa in the closet. Papa Ghost Man is someone who I would randomly stumble upon entering my grandparent’s bedroom. He was a violet, wax-looking mold of my grandfather, always sleeping on his back with his hands clasped on his stomach, the way my grandfather does. I don’t remember if these were visions or if I honestly walked into the room and saw him there, but I’m leaning toward visions. If he ever spoke to me, it was never through his mouth. It was some foggy voice in my head.
As a two year old, in the house that my father grew up in, one night he tells me he woke up to see me sitting in my crib, staring at the wall and talking to some unseen force. “Marissa, who are you talking to?” I turn to look at my dad and say nonchalantly, “Ghost.”
“Um… okay, sweetie, but you need to lay down and go back to bed.”
I did as I was told, but continued chatting with whatever it was quietly. This has haunted my dad since. He thinks I may have been speaking to his late father, who died in the house and had built the room we were sleeping in.
Little Marissa in the closet was not what I called her, I never had a name for her, but I had some story that came to me in my sleep, I guess. There was a little tiny girl who lived in the corner of the closet in my room, and sometimes I would visit her, or she would visit me, and we would walk across the street to the house my grandfather’s mother lived in. She had a home there, too I think. Sometimes in the real world I would get up and look for her, but never find her. I think one day she moved. I don’t know.
Once, back in the old house my dad and I lived in, the worst night terror I ever experienced occurred when I woke up in a jolt in the middle of the night. I heard voices, tons of them, from a crowd, screaming, yelling, like a mob of people waiting on a lynching. That’s exactly what I was thinking. I could see tons of moving little people on the left side of my bed, I thought I could see pitchforks, tiny little flames, and millions of angry little faces. I was so scared. They were coming for me and getting closer and closer, ready to climb up onto my bed.
There was a clear path on the right side of my bed. I ran to my door, fumbled with the doorknob that I for whatever reason forgot that you have to turn in order for it to open. I just yanked it back and forth, freaking the hell out, and when I looked down to my feet I yelped. I saw my grandparents, tiny as all the angry little people, banging on my door, trying to get out.
There was a sliding door that connected my room to the bathroom. I busted through that door, ran through the bathroom, and when I got into the computer room which led to my parent’s room, I looked behind me and saw a white light approaching. I figured it was them, I could hear their voices coming out of my room.
I burst into my parents room and immediately start climbing into their bed, under their covers, shaking and crying with a super fever. The white light was coming closer and brightening the room. I was absolutely frantic.
In an attempt to understand what was going on, my dad asked me questions. My answers were “People in my room” “Don’t know where they came from” “Coming after me.” I grabbed his hand, told him to tiptoe with me to the kitchen, and SHHHHHHH!’d him with every stomp he did past my bedroom in the dark. In the kitchen I whispered that I could still hear them in there, and he needed to wait for them to leave before I would go back. After lots of arguing from me, my dad finally convinced me to let him open up my bedroom door. Preparing for a wave of little people to come rushing at me, I gasped when the light was on and absolutely nothing was there.
They laid me back in bed, gave me medicine for the raging fever, and lay me back to sleep. I’m pretty sure that was the last night terror I ever had.
Once, In Europe, England to be exact, I had a scary experience after a long day of exploring history of disease. We had visited Mary King’s Close, or Castle, I don’t remember which. Inside the place scared me a lot, because I have always been a hypochondriac and I felt that just being in the place was enough to infect me with the long-dead bubonic plague. That night I expressed my fears to my grand parents, and my grandfather, forever the jokester, made a joke that he could see sores forming on my back, neck and armpits. I was uneasy enough, it did not help at all. When I went to bed, I woke up a few hours later, the room looking very odd and hearing an even weirder whooshing, vortex like sound. I looked up, and above my head, on the wall behind me, a huge, fluctuating black hole was circling and making noises like I’ve never heard before. It looked as if the wall had a wound like the sores found on peoples’ skin after being infected with the plague. When I woke up from this I had a very high fever and felt slightly ill.
Sleep paralysis
I was eleven when I first experienced sleep paralysis. I was being paranoid as usual, up at 2 in the morning, trying to force myself to fall asleep before 3 AM, a time I am very superstitious of. If I’m awake when the clock strikes three there will not be a moment I close my eyes and fall asleep until at least the 3:50 mark, when I begin to feel safer. Anyway, I thought I was dying because of how quickly I had downed my Dr. Pepper, and could feel it sloshing around my stomach. My uncle had told me earlier that day of a woman who died by drowning her lungs with Mountain Dew. I just thought I was dying.
I was afraid to fall asleep, so with my eyes closed every time I would slip into hypnogogia, I would quickly jolt myself awake. I started feeling weird after doing this so many times, and eventually, I jolted myself into another state. All at the same time, I felt my sense of touch disappear, starting in my fingertips and working down my body, and my sight disappeared by an inky black film that bubbled into my vision from the left side down. I was on my stomach, and I could feel all sorts of odd things in my brain and body. My brain felt like it was pulsing, along with my heartbeat. I heard my breathing intensify, louder and louder until that was all I could hear. And I began to feel my body curl up into a ball even though I couldn’t move a muscle. I had no idea what was going on, I was very extremely scared, and when I came back to I sat up straight in my bed, convinced I had just been possessed. I prayed and prayed. This eventually became an expected thing that happened almost every night. I told my parents about it but nothing was done and nothing changed, until I learned what sleep paralysis was thanks to Google probably a year later. By that time I had experienced sleep paralysis in all kinds of ways, waking up from an odd dream, slipping into it while I try to fall asleep, or happening on accident once during a short nap. I started learning how to break out of it and that if I opened my eyes I would see things. Sometimes I heard weird things.
I would get out of it by wiggling my fingers or my toes. Always it felt like my body was a bag of sand, and when I got a fleeting sense of feeling in my fingers, I would grab hold and start wiggling. Sometimes it would just randomly stop working and I would have to strive to regain control again. Other times I tried to yell or scream and I couldn’t get past the trying part, of my chest heaving and my eyes fluttering around, rolling to the back of my skull and all the way around again. It was very scary, even after I knew what it was. Even though it was scientifically explained, I’m a firm believer in demons and I know some of these experiences were induced by one, followed my dreams of the devil in my bed, attempting to conversate with me. At one point I began documenting my sleep paralysis experiences but to this day, February second, 2015, I have not had sleep paralysis for a while. I’ve also forgotten, or well, not forgotten but have not succeeded in causing sleep paralysis for myself since.
Hallucinations
As you know, the hallucinations began early, but took different shapes and forms as I got older. At first it was only bugs and little things, I don’t know what came before the other, but the images that come to mind are all spiritual to me in some way.
I’m not beginning in any order.
I started waking up in the middle of the night with sudden fears of bugs. One night, I hopped up, immediately after waking, and began tearing my bed apart, throwing blankets, pillows, sheets and everything. I was searching for a wasp that I thought had gotten in there, and after I had completely removed all of the covers I realized there was no wasp in my room. My door had not been opened since I went to bed. But I had this clear vision, or feeling of knowing that there was a wasp in my room. I just got back in bed and went to sleep.
On multiple occasions I’ve woken up to look at my pillow and see a spider sitting there. Once I thought I saw a spider disappear from my bed into the covers, and I had a very, very hard time telling myself it was a hallucination, so I slept on the couch instead. This has happened a few times.
Once I woke up to see four huge, red and black spiders crawling across my ceiling.
Now, enough with the spiders and wasps. Nearly every experience with them is the same.
Sometimes when I get sick I hallucinate. Once I got sick with the flu, and the first time I woke up in the night, I saw a black cat hop up on the edge of my bed, calmly walk over me, and begin sniffing around the crackers that were there for me. I said “No, no! Those are my crackers, you can’t have them!” I tried to swat him away, and when my hand passed through him and he disappeared, I realized he was never there.
The same night I woke up again, looked next to my bed, and thought I saw my step mom sitting on the floor with her back against my bed. The back of her head was right next to me. I said, “Brandy? Brandy? Brandy?” and when I touched her head, it turned out just to be my blankets folded up and the rest of her body disappeared.
Another time, more recently, I woke up to the most vivid hallucination I’ve ever had, and the most weird to me. I woke up, laying on my back, which I never do. To my right, there was a very tall, thick boned woman floating a few inches above the ground. She was staring at me. I remember silverish blonde hair, long, tied into a braid on the left side of her head. It looked like she wore tribal clothing, and her skin was silvery as well, and at the same time she still had this eerie greenish glow I see sometimes. I stared at her for a good minute, her staring back. And in some sort of weird, trancelike daze that I could feel myself in, I said to her, “Wow, you are really pretty.” And after I said those words, a sense of fear hit me like a brick, I realized there was a weird woman in my room, and she vanished. I sat up really fast, turned on the light, and kept looking to the spot she had stood in, almost hoping for her to return. I just stared for a long, long time, I was so transfixed by what happened.
Another time I woke to some kind of galloping sound. I looked down next to my bed and saw two lines of three husky dogs, right next to each other, running full speed but staying in place next to my bed. They were hooked to a sled that wasn’t there and there was a man leading them I couldn’t see. I said “Hey! Get out! You’re not supposed to be in here!” and they disappeared.
One odd experience was waking up with that same weird feeling, and seeing red string strung up all around my room.
Once I woke up to see a man standing at the end of my bed, looking at me with the same look I was giving him. He had orange hair, wore long black clothes, and then I realized I was looking at a backpack and a jacket hanging on the wall weird.
Odd Wandering
There are about three instances I can think of that were just odd. Each of these things happened after I woke up from a nap. I would get up, feel that weird, foggy trance feeling, and search for something. Once it was a key. Another time it was a group of people. Anyway, I would search the house up and down for five or ten minutes with an intensity like no other, asking my step mom “Where is the key?? Have you seen the key?” and she would have no idea what I was talking about. After a minute or two, I’d snap out of it, and have to ask myself, “What the hell am I doing?”
Other times I wake up with a brief, foggy memory of me wandering through the house.
Astral Travel
I’m pretty sure I travel to places in my sleep. I don’t remember how long ago, but probably around a year or two ago I started having dreams that all… connected. Not connecting with the things that happen and take place, but the physical places that I went to were all connected by this one big field. I know how to get to the field and everything. It’s like there is this world in my brain that I have completely mapped out, it’s huge, and I can tell you which paths go to which dream and I feel like if I could cause myself to astrally project, travel to the town, through the woods and into the field I would have unlocked access to my own mind.