Senitive child with an unsensitive father

[Bluebutterflycr]

Hello, I have never posted on this section and I dont know much about índigo children etc, but I know that my son is very sensitive of energies. My daugther is also very sensitive but different. Anyways, he can sense the energy of people. My husband can get very ungry at times, he is not physically violent but he emanates angry energy at times and the tone of his voice gets very strong, and that affects my kid. He gets very scared of him and I can sense that. That aspect makes it difficult for them to have a good relationship. Do you have any recomendation? Thanks very much!!!

[John32241]

Hi,

It is a very common issue actually. Kind of like the old ways of being in conflict with the emerging shift towards better ways to think and reflect on life.

A lot depends on the age of your boy and your daughter. The kids and teens who come to me for advice are old enough to discuss the subject rationally.

Much of the time the younger ones will outright reject any input from adults like myself. When I suggest things like being compassionate towards the adult it is for Their Own Protection. Energetic exchanges which create conflicts are in fact mutually damaging.

If your son is young enough to be scared he has not reached the point of resentment. If I could suggest any thing it would be to take an elevated approach and do your best to derail that likely potential. Even the kindest most gentle soul can be pushed into resistance that leads to conflict.

Having compassion for ignorance and fear is the only way of being that I understand will help these circumstances.

John

[Bluebutterflycr]

Thanks for your words John. My son is 8 and my daugther 5. She is very sensitive but somehow, her father treats her softer, probably because of her gender... But with my son is different... Is amazing, yesterday for example, as soon as my husband arrived to our house, I could sense he was angry and also my son sensed it. He was probably very tired and stressed for work... But my husband didn't needed to say a word, my son sensed him and he reacted pushing him away, rejecting him. Lately my son is rejecting him all the time, he seems very affected by my husband vibes... My son also gets very angry at him for the smallest argument... It is a very difficult situation and that scares me too. I have always felt that disconnection between them since my son was a little baby. But now that my son has become a little older, things are more intense and they fight alot.
So, after knowing his age, what do you suggest me could help? Thank you so much!!!

[John32241]

Hello Blue Butter,

Eight is old enough to have an adult like conversation with him about this. Your son must learn to not let him self get angry with his dad. There are most likely previous life conflicts taking place at the subconscious level. They come to the surface in a conscious manner by constantly energetically rubbing each other the wrong way.

You may ask why talk with the 8 yo old about this instead of his dad. My answer is the 8 yo will understand the reasoning about these circumstances and the adult will not. When one of the two stops reacting in an unconscious manner towards the other, everything will change. It takes two to create the conflict.

I can suggest that you do your best to talk with each of them about this. Do not be surprised if my inclinations about this are correct. karma-tic conflicts exist everywhere. It would be really nice if dad was a wise old soul who understood that we can drop the karma. Yet it is my experience that the children need to lead the way for things like this.

John

[Bluebutterflycr]

Thank you very much John. And that makes sense. My son is very mature and responsible. I will talk with my child.
Happy Thanksgiving!

[Uma]

It sounds like the dad has anger management issues.
We should never take out our emotional baggage on our children, sensitive or not.
It will not only scar them, it will role model to them how to deal with their own anger...and they will pass this on to their children usually, perpetuating a cycle of dysfunctional parenting skills.

[Bluebutterflycr]

Yes, you are totally right Uma. Thanks

[bird*]

Uma is absolutely right. I'm very shy and sensitive, and my mother is a very angry, loud person. I have spent years putting up with her behavior, letting her get away with her nastiness, but I realize now that I cannot change her. So, for my own self-preservation, I have distanced myself from her. Sensitive people are not the best at being combative, so it makes more sense to just not be around people who stress you out with their insensitivity and thoughtlessness. Unfortunately, unless your husband learns to chill out, don't be shocked if your son wants nothing to do with him, as he grows up. I don't know how much it would help, but maybe getting your son involved in some sort of activity, like sports, where he can release his anger and nervous energy, that might be something to consider.

[Bluebutterflycr]

Thanks bird, sadly I think you are right. Sometimes they get along but they are distancing more and more. I am highly sensitive too and my mother also has a strong character. But as I can remember, I never got angry I just supressed my emotions and lived in my dreamy world. I have talked with my husband like a thousand times and is very difficult for him to understand this sensitivity. Thanks for the advices!

[Uma]

Bluebutterfly,

I'm concerned based on what you have written. You need to make a decision as to whether this is child abuse or not and act now. Emotional abuse can be as harmful as physical abuse.

If you're not sure you can ask your son's teacher about how he behaves at school - usually when something is upsetting a child at home it will show up as negative behaviour at school - from becoming withdrawn, marks going down, or hitting other children. In really bad cases bed wetting or other regressive behaviour is a real danger sign. It might also be a good idea for you to talk to a counsellor/therapist/doctor about this.

As their mother, your children look to you to protect them from harm. This is your duty.

I hope all goes well.

Uma :hug2:

[Bluebutterflycr]

Thanks Uma. No the case is not that extreme. And I am very aware and protective with my kids and I am also doing therapy. I used to be submissive but I am not anymore. Is a combination of factors: my son being very sensitive to noices, texture of clothes, flavours, etc.; and my husband tone of voice when he gets angry. My kid is doing great at school thank God. But I will take your advice and will talk about this situation with my therapist :). Thanks again.

[OnAPath]

I am in the same boat. Best of luck to you!