First ever date!

[Pryce]

Hello everyone.

Earlier today I did a tarot reading for an event tomorrow evening. There’s a woman I’ve really liked for the past year and 2 months, and she likes me. Our first meeting including flirting, a lot of hugging, her kissing my neck and giving me her number. Afterwards, I thought I’d add her as a friend on facebook and saw on her timeline that she was in a relationship. Talk about shot down in flames. But since then we’ve remained friends.

She split up with her boyfriend late last year, but anxiety on my part has stopped me from asking her out for a drink, even though she’s clearly hinted at that’s what she would like. You see, I’m very shy. I was sexually abused when I was 15 by a man who thought I was a 12, therefore I’ve never had a girlfriend because I’ve had a social anxiety disorder. I’m 31 years old. Things are much better now, I do volunteer work, go out with friends every Friday, but I sometimes get anxious when a woman hits on me and have only recently started flirting back when it happens. My confidence has greatly improved!

Now, a day after we first met, I got the 2 of cups as an outcome for our prospective friendship/relationship. We’ve always fancied each other, and she knows about my past.

Right, today I did a 3-card spread, like the one I do everyday for the day ahead. This spread was regarding our going out tomorrow night. The first card was for my feelings: 8 of swords. Second card was for any negative factors that may arise: King of Wands. The third card was for any mitigating factors, like what I can do to lessen or overcome the negativity: the knight of cups.

My amateur reading skills tells me that I’m nervous about this because this is the first time I’ve gone out on a date (8 of swords), The King of wands as a negative manifestation could mean I’m holding myself back? But I’m struggling what the Knight of Cups could mean. I used the Rider-Waite deck.

Sorry for the long post, but this is a very important move I’ve taken in my life.

Thanks

[Awakened Queen]

If it makes you nervous, don't think of it as a date. Think of it as going out with somebody and getting to know them:smile: It sounds like she wants to get to know you too.

The Knight of Cups is telling you to put yourself out there a little bit and see what happens. Open up your heart.

[Badger1777]

Well, I have no idea about Tarot, but I know a thing or two about life, love, and relationships.

You said you are a shy person. Secret time, most people are, just some force themselves to appear confident. Ok, some are more shy than others, and it sounds like you have good reason to be shy, even though what happened in your past is not your fault, stuff like that does have a lasting effect.

I think there are two things here. Firstly, you have to sever the control that this weasel still has over you, since you were 15. I'm not sure how you'll do that, but it can only be you that does it. What right has he got to make you feel anxious and shy? None whatsoever.

But, back onto the date thing. Of course you will be nervous. Everyone is when they go on a date. If you are not nervous, it means there's nothing at stake. You like this woman, and you hope things will develop, yet there is always the possibility that it wont work out. So you will be nervous. Normal. All you can do is take it easy, don't try too hard, cliche time but BE YOURSELF (nobody likes a fake). Enjoy it.

And those nerves, enjoy them too. Trust me, when you've been married for years and years, no matter how much you love your wife you'll miss those butterflies in the tummy, that sense of excitement, so stock up on it as much as you can now.

[Pryce]

Thank you. You know, when I look at the bands that has restricted the woman on the 8 of swords, they don't seem that tight; she could easily free herself. The problem with anxiety, it stems from a negative automatic thought, and the anxiety it induces is what holds you back from doing something. I suppose it's appropriate then that I got the 8 of swords, given that it's also attritubuted to air and anxiety begins with a bad thought.

Awakened Queen, I suppose the knight of cups is telling me to be a bit romantic but be natural, don't put on a front.

Badger, those were lovely words. I suppose we're all on a journey and have a cross to bear; it's just I feel slightly vulnerable yet excited about future right now.

I find it easier to relate to the figure in the 8 of swords because that is what I'm used to, holding back. I need to be that knight of cups. I was confused about the reading, but it's eerie how it mirrors what I'm feeling and wanting right now. Tarot is truely brilliant.

[Awakened Queen]

This is the deck I use. I love the Knight of Cups here, because he seems like a gentleman with a big heart. See the crab? He's represented by the sign of Cancer. He's emotional and warm-hearted.
http://hermetic.com/crowley/book-of-thoth/cups_kn.jpg

[Pryce]

I have the Thoth deck; it's lovely but so esoteric. I've recently gotten interested in Crowley and have bought his Book of Thoth and DuQuette's Understanding Aleister Crowley's Thoth Tarot. In fact, I've only recently started a 'spiritual journey' so I find your webpage fascinating. I would love to use the Thoth one day, but I'm still a novice when it comes to these matters. Baby steps.

[O]

Badger...Great advice!
Pryce...After reading your thread, I'm excited and have butterflies for you. And Badger is right, enjoy the butterflies now because someday you will miss that. ooh and ps, she will be anxious, nervous, and have the butterflies too, if it makes you feel any better. Good luck!
Also, I recently staring using an "intuition life coaching" oracle card deck that I am really enjoying and is quickly becoming one of my favorites. If you like, I would love to pull a card for you!

[Pryce]

Hi Olivia. Thanks, that would be wonderful and interesting if you could pull a card. I must look up that deck, it seems fascinating. And yes, the butterflies is an anxious but nice feeling. Even if me and her just remain friends, I'm happy that I've now reached a stage in my life where I can be honest with someone about my feelings.

[O]

Hey pryce, that's a great outlook to have. It sounds like you are in a great place in your life right now. I will do your reading tomorrow afternoon. Do you want me to pm it to you or post it to the thread?

[Pryce]

As Grizabella and I’m sure others would like to know what happened; well, here it goes. It was a warm sunny evening, so we had some drinks in a beer garden where it was cooler. I bought her her first drink. For more than 2 hours we spoke constantly about ourselves. We both were so open that we revealed our most private thoughts and painful things that had happened in our past. The thing is, we both felt comfortable with it.

It’s my dream one day to write horror stories and have them published. I’ll be doing my final writing course later this year. I hate telling people my ideas, but I found myself telling her them and she said they were great. We then went to a club to dance and she introduced me to two of her friends. It was around this time we became a bit more intimate: hugging each other, paying each other compliments. At 2 in the morning, we left the club, sat on a bench, and I bought her a rose. We kissed here and there, and she said how lovely I was. Of course, I blushed, lol.

Then she said I could go back to hers, but she said no sex! Of course I was fine with that. Because of my sexual abusive past, it’ll take some time for me to feel comfortable to have sex with someone. We got back to hers. Then we kissed and caressed, a bit more intimately this time (that’s all I’m saying!), before falling asleep in a hugging position. The next morning, she made me toast, and we spent the next few hours holding hands.

Looking back, I suppose I harnessed the energy of the knight of cups rather well. He’s a romantic, a getter of love, a creative, a poet; although I prefer writing stories. In fact she said she’d like to read some! All in all it went well. It was a great evening that was romantically and intimately charged. We both said we should go out again when she gets over the flu, which she showed signs of having.

So, thanks for all your help and comments. Even now I still have those butterflies in my stomach over going on my first date.

Olivia 13, thanks so much for the reading you sent me. I teared up when I read it. Not only was it a difficult situation but I had a lovely time. It could have so easily gone wrong. Those cards of yours interest me and think I’ll have to look into them more. I’m so grateful you went out of your way to do that. Thanks you.

As I said before, I feel like I’m starting on some kind of spiritual journey, so I shall post around more.

[O]

Glad to see that the date went so well, pryce. Sounds like you both had a great time together and have a great connection. The reading for you was not a problem at all. It was my pleasure. Your are very welcome! Best wishes to you in your writing, dating, and spiritual journey.
Oh yeah, I have to ask, why did you only buy her the first drink? Or did I interpret it wrong?