kdbeez
02-07-2014, 11:24 PM
. so..i apologize in advance for how long this is,
growing up i am super confident, able, and independent. My biggest strength used to be communicating and bringing people together. i had a talent for dispelling awkward moments. i am a leo and used to hold true to a lot of those characteristics. A series of events happened to where i found out i had been not really dealing with my emotions, just stuffing them away, i had problems with my femininity, matters of allowing myself to be vulnerable, had a great deal of machismo. although i was sensitive to other peoples issues, i was extremely hard on myself and felt i wasn’t ever being productive enough.
in any case after an abusive relationship with an energy vampire, i had a breakdown where i felt everything i had been holding inside me erupted all at once. i felt as if my spirit left my body, but not in a good way i was in the air watching myself awkwardly and nervously maneuver through daily life. its been a year and a half since my breakdown and I found out a lot about myself.
I still feel lost and uncomfortable at times, which is so unfamiliar to me. Good news is i am getting comfortable in my femininity and have been finding strength in it, i have been learning self care and paying close attention to my emotions, which has proven to be a daunting task. I became open to my energy and putting it into intent and prayer. i had an ancestor visit me in a dream and they encouraged me to start working with my family rings and jewelry i wear, as well as crystals. since then i have been a lot better, but I recently took the next step of my recovery and moved across country into the city. A bigger city than i have ever lived before, and it has been so tiring dealing with all the energies. sometimes when i feel overwhelmed i imagine my negative energy turning into a positive energy and charge my crystals and that gets rid of some of it, but i still have issues taking in other peoples emotions. I thought it was just the city but as of currently I am back in the very small town i grew up in and am still taking in energy... My boyfriends, friends, people i dont even know. i feel i have a lot of energy and i am a powerful person if i could find a way to channel that chaotic energy into positive, or healing energy? where should i put it? fast city life has definitely turned me all around in my spiritual awakening. i know also since moving during the retrograde i’ve been a mess. I need some serious guidance. I have been asking for it in my dreams but no luck yet
growing up i am super confident, able, and independent. My biggest strength used to be communicating and bringing people together. i had a talent for dispelling awkward moments. i am a leo and used to hold true to a lot of those characteristics. A series of events happened to where i found out i had been not really dealing with my emotions, just stuffing them away, i had problems with my femininity, matters of allowing myself to be vulnerable, had a great deal of machismo. although i was sensitive to other peoples issues, i was extremely hard on myself and felt i wasn’t ever being productive enough.
in any case after an abusive relationship with an energy vampire, i had a breakdown where i felt everything i had been holding inside me erupted all at once. i felt as if my spirit left my body, but not in a good way i was in the air watching myself awkwardly and nervously maneuver through daily life. its been a year and a half since my breakdown and I found out a lot about myself.
I still feel lost and uncomfortable at times, which is so unfamiliar to me. Good news is i am getting comfortable in my femininity and have been finding strength in it, i have been learning self care and paying close attention to my emotions, which has proven to be a daunting task. I became open to my energy and putting it into intent and prayer. i had an ancestor visit me in a dream and they encouraged me to start working with my family rings and jewelry i wear, as well as crystals. since then i have been a lot better, but I recently took the next step of my recovery and moved across country into the city. A bigger city than i have ever lived before, and it has been so tiring dealing with all the energies. sometimes when i feel overwhelmed i imagine my negative energy turning into a positive energy and charge my crystals and that gets rid of some of it, but i still have issues taking in other peoples emotions. I thought it was just the city but as of currently I am back in the very small town i grew up in and am still taking in energy... My boyfriends, friends, people i dont even know. i feel i have a lot of energy and i am a powerful person if i could find a way to channel that chaotic energy into positive, or healing energy? where should i put it? fast city life has definitely turned me all around in my spiritual awakening. i know also since moving during the retrograde i’ve been a mess. I need some serious guidance. I have been asking for it in my dreams but no luck yet