Sexuality

[hopeful harry]

Hi I know this seems like an odd place to post this but I think it is relevant.

As I become more spiritual and less concerned with the "things" of this Earth I find myself less and less attracted to the opposite sex.

It crosses my mind from time to time that I might be gay. This doesn't sit right with me either because I don't find men all that attractive either (I am a man by the way).

Its like I can see a physically attractive man or woman and know they are attractive but not really be attracted to them.

I'm currently single and kind of half heartedly looking for a girlfriend I guess. By that I mean putting myself in situations that may increase my chances of meeting someone whilst at the same time trying not to force it. I'm aware that I may be doing this because society expects me to. I'm also aware that I am looking for someone that fits societies idea of "beauty".

I basically don't know what I want. Am I overthinking this a bit? Should I stop judging myself and my motives and just let myself go a bit more?...... It would be nice to have an attractive partner but I'm not sure how much I'm pandering to my ego.......

Sorry if this seems a little dis-jointed. I'm confused and trying hard to work this out.

[elisi]

you answered yourself-overthinking.

perhaps it's because of your spiritual journey-but it could also be just an ebb and flow. we go through periods where we just aren't interested. i have myself.

relax and whatever happens, happens, rather than fret about it, be in the moment and enjoy life.

hope that helps.

[hopeful harry]

you answered yourself-overthinking.

perhaps it's because of your spiritual journey-but it could also be just an ebb and flow. we go through periods where we just aren't interested. i have myself.

relax and whatever happens, happens, rather than fret about it, be in the moment and enjoy life.

hope that helps.

Hi thanks for the reply. Don't think its an ebb and flow thing because I've felt this way for a while now....... I will try and relax a bit and allow whatever is meant to happen happen! x

[Royalite]

As someone who has not really been attracted to the opposite sex for over a decade, I can tell you it's normal and as you and the above poster said, you're over thinking. After a while, good looks tend to repeat themselves and you may want more substance to your relationships. I'm use to this state as I've been this way since I was 12 so I've grown up with it, but I think it's perfectly fine and you may or may not end up meeting people who fit that criteria.

[Baile]

Hi harry. I read your post history, and in all honesty it sounds to me like you're dealing with depression. It's something I went through years ago; had it for decades and didn't even realize it until a medical professional pointed it out.

What you're saying - half-hearted feelings, not interested in things - isn't a sign of anything other than needing to deal with it. That could mean medically, or it could mean changing jobs and your environment. But continually looking for advice on the internet for this ongoing problem isn't really dealing with it in any real way. You need to act, you need to do something. That's my take anyway, not trying to criticize you.

[hopeful harry]

Hi harry. I read your post history, and in all honesty it sounds to me like you're dealing with depression. It's something I went through years ago; had it for decades and didn't even realize it until a medical professional pointed it out.

What you're saying - half-hearted feelings, not interested in things - isn't a sign of anything other than needing to deal with it. That could mean medically, or it could mean changing jobs and your environment. But continually looking for advice on the internet for this ongoing problem isn't really dealing with it in any real way. You need to act, you need to do something. That's my take anyway, not trying to criticize you.

Hi Baile. I acknowledge your response and I thank you for it. When I first read it my heart sank at the possibility you could be right. I then felt angry with you and wanted to attack you and prove you wrong. Then I realised that only I know the truth about my situation and in fact some of my posts do imply a problem with depression and it was an astute observation on your part.
I am on a wonderful journey that at times is very confusing. Sometimes it does get me down. I don't think I'm here looking for advice (although I can understand that sometimes it may look this way), I am here for reassurance. I hope that one day I won't need reassurance from others but right now I'm sorry to say I do.
I've got to go out now but I've more to say that I'll post later..... Thanks again hh

[Baile]

I don't think I'm here looking for advice (although I can understand that sometimes it may look this way), I am here for reassurance. I hope that one day I won't need reassurance from others but right now I do.Okay fair enough. Thanks for the open and cordial reply harry.

[hopeful harry]

OK so I feel I should stress here that I do want to fall in love. I can feel my heart yearning for it. Its a brilliant feeling and one I've denied myself for a long time....... I feel as my heart begins to awaken that I want the companionship of another, that I want a romantic relationship....... It kind of feels like I've forgotten what I'm attracted to. Could be a man, could be a woman. Its like starting again with no reference point.
I suppose my reason for posting is to find out if anyone else on "a spiritual path" (and I know we all are, I'm hoping you know what I mean) has experienced this. Could this be me transcending the aesthetic nature of the modern world and seeking something deeper than good looks or what society deems acceptable?

[Royalite]

OK so I feel I should stress here that I do want to fall in love. I can feel my heart yearning for it. Its a brilliant feeling and one I've denied myself for a long time....... I feel as my heart begins to awaken that I want the companionship of another, that I want a romantic relationship....... It kind of feels like I've forgotten what I'm attracted to. Could be a man, could be a woman. Its like starting again with no reference point.
I suppose my reason for posting is to find out if anyone else on "a spiritual path" (and I know we all are, I'm hoping you know what I mean) has experienced this. Could this be me transcending the aesthetic nature of the modern world and seeking something deeper than good looks or what society deems acceptable?

Well, do you think that this could be the case? How do you feel/perceive it? This is, after all, your path and so if you feel different from how you use to, do you feel that you are progressing?

[Mathew James]

...Could this be me transcending the aesthetic nature of the modern world and seeking something deeper than good looks or what society deems acceptable?

Or maybe, you are just getting older. The good looks fade away the older we get, and along with them goes the reality of getting the hotty. This can be hard for men to accept, because men typically will fall in love with women that we are only physically attracted to.

mj

[hopeful harry]

Well, do you think that this could be the case? How do you feel/perceive it? This is, after all, your path and so if you feel different from how you use to, do you feel that you are progressing?

Hi Royalite. I think I could be progressing in the sense that I'm asking myself what I want for a change. I've had problems with this in the past and its resulted in me settling for less more often than not.

I think this might be the basic problem. I'm not used to sitting down with myself and asking myself what I want. It feels alien to me..... Its almost like I don't feel worthy enough. It is most definitely a self esteem issue......

When I'm with my friends and we observe a group of young ladies going by or whatever I feel different to them. I feel like I'm looking into their souls and not just at their physical appearance.......

As I wrote that I realised that of course I'm progressing..... I sometimes feel guilty about having thoughts that suggest I'm more evolved than others....... I guess maybe that's it? Maybe I feel lonely because I don't know enough people who are as evolved as me? And maybe that's the companionship I seek?

[Baile]

As I wrote that I realised that of course I'm progressing..... I sometimes feel guilty about having thoughts that suggest I'm more evolved than others....... I guess maybe that's it? Maybe I feel lonely because I don't know enough people who are as evolved as me? And maybe that's the companionship I seek?Hi harry. Why are you describing yourself as more evolved than other people? You look at people and life differently. That's fine. But that just makes you different, not necessarily more evolved. As for companionship, I'll suggest people would be more inclined to become friends with someone who didn't perceive himself as more evolved than others.

[Royalite]

Hi Royalite. I think I could be progressing in the sense that I'm asking myself what I want for a change. I've had problems with this in the past and its resulted in me settling for less more often than not.

I think this might be the basic problem. I'm not used to sitting down with myself and asking myself what I want. It feels alien to me..... Its almost like I don't feel worthy enough. It is most definitely a self esteem issue......

When I'm with my friends and we observe a group of young ladies going by or whatever I feel different to them. I feel like I'm looking into their souls and not just at their physical appearance.......

As I wrote that I realised that of course I'm progressing..... I sometimes feel guilty about having thoughts that suggest I'm more evolved than others....... I guess maybe that's it? Maybe I feel lonely because I don't know enough people who are as evolved as me? And maybe that's the companionship I seek?

Maybe. :smile: It could be just that. You're looking for people who you feel are on the same page as you.

[hopeful harry]

Hi harry. Why are you describing yourself as more evolved than other people? You look at people and life differently. That's fine. But that just makes you different, not necessarily more evolved. As for companionship, I'll suggest people would be more inclined to become friends with someone who didn't perceive himself as more evolved than others.

Baile, I'm not suggesting that I'm better than others. Far from it. I'm suggesting that I may be a little bit more aware than most around me..... Evolved may be the wrong choice of word but its just a word and I don't mean anything "snooty" by it.

[Baile]

Baile, I'm not suggesting that I'm better than others. Far from it. I'm suggesting that I may be a little bit more aware than most around me..... Evolved may be the wrong choice of word but its just a word and I don't mean anything "snooty" by it.Okay. So now that you know you're different, don't settle for less than that when making new acquaintances. You wish to be around people who are more aware in life. Great. The problems happen when we know these things about ourselves, but we don't act upon it. Love and relationships is that way. One can be in a relationship that feels okay. But that's not love. Love isn't okay, love is fantastic and amazing. So go find fantastic and amazing, and don't settle for okay.

[hopeful harry]

Okay. So now that you know you're different, don't settle for less than that when making new acquaintances. You wish to be around people who are more aware in life. Great. The problems happen when we know these things about ourselves, but we don't act upon it. Love and relationships is that way. One can be in a relationship that feels okay. But that's not love. Love isn't okay, love is fantastic and amazing. So go find fantastic and amazing, and don't settle for okay.

I totally agree. At the moment I feel as though I'm dipping my toe in the "amazingness" that is life but I haven't quite summoned the courage to dive in! I'm getting there though.

[Baile]

I totally agree. At the moment I feel as though I'm dipping my toe in the "amazingness" that is life but I haven't quite summoned the courage to dive in! I'm getting there though.That's very positive. What stops you from living fully? From my experience, the only things that have prevented me from living fully were situational: being stuck in a bad relationship, money issues, or stuck in a lousy job or living environment.

[wolfmanthe1st]

as one becomes more and more spiritual love will become an increasingly part of their life. After all the universe was built on love and when you encounter entities from higher dimensions you may feel overwhelmed with love. Also your vibration rate is probably increasing. Love is of a higher vibration. Physical attraction without love is of a low vibration. Because you are of a higher vibration a low vibration thing does not appeal to you. If you loved the person then the physical attraction may be there as a side benefit, but only because love comes first.

You also may find that certain foods that you liked in the past you find repulsive now. Those repulsive foods are probably of a lower vibration and you are now of a higher vibration or spiritual position.

[elisi]

i consider myself a reasonable enlightened person....but i ain't giving up my potatoes. lol

[MysticalShaman]

Hi I know this seems like an odd place to post this but I think it is relevant.

As I become more spiritual and less concerned with the "things" of this Earth I find myself less and less attracted to the opposite sex.

It crosses my mind from time to time that I might be gay. This doesn't sit right with me either because I don't find men all that attractive either (I am a man by the way).

Its like I can see a physically attractive man or woman and know they are attractive but not really be attracted to them.

I'm currently single and kind of half heartedly looking for a girlfriend I guess. By that I mean putting myself in situations that may increase my chances of meeting someone whilst at the same time trying not to force it. I'm aware that I may be doing this because society expects me to. I'm also aware that I am looking for someone that fits societies idea of "beauty".

I basically don't know what I want. Am I overthinking this a bit? Should I stop judging myself and my motives and just let myself go a bit more?...... It would be nice to have an attractive partner but I'm not sure how much I'm pandering to my ego.......

Sorry if this seems a little dis-jointed. I'm confused and trying hard to work this out.


Hey man ( just read the top post ), I went through a similar situation and the best thing I learnt was to just go with the flow and live in the moment - especially when it comes to love.

I've learned as the more spiritual I became, the more aware, the more I realised how I was dogged by the ideas of sexual identity because I was feeling the same way you were, I was on a sexuality forum and for months everyday I switched from straight to bi to asexual to lesbian all because I was going through the same feelings you were. I've since learned that it wasn't my orientation that was changing but my reasons for a sexual relationship - I was no longer able to relate to the "animal" based sexsual interaxction of my peers, just going out and having sex for the sake of it, for me sex was becoming sacred, something that I just wanted to share someone I actually and truly connected and loved on a material and soul level. I started to get into Tantra.

I too can see many attractive people of every gender, but I don't want to do anything with them. I do want to share that energy with the one I've come to realize through all this that I love. Which I should note may come to you in the any form of person, because when you love, you love a person, not their gender, but for me, they are my male counter-part!This was one of my bigger issues to get over so I could accept myself :)


I think this is normal for people who are "awakening".
I hope this helps!

[hopeful harry]

Hey man ( just read the top post ), I went through a similar situation and the best thing I learnt was to just go with the flow and live in the moment - especially when it comes to love.

I've learned as the more spiritual I became, the more aware, the more I realised how I was dogged by the ideas of sexual identity because I was feeling the same way you were, I was on a sexuality forum and for months everyday I switched from straight to bi to asexual to lesbian all because I was going through the same feelings you were. I've since learned that it wasn't my orientation that was changing but my reasons for a sexual relationship - I was no longer able to relate to the "animal" based sexsual interaxction of my peers, just going out and having sex for the sake of it, for me sex was becoming sacred, something that I just wanted to share someone I actually and truly connected and loved on a material and soul level. I started to get into Tantra.

I too can see many attractive people of every gender, but I don't want to do anything with them. I do want to share that energy with the one I've come to realize through all this that I love. Which I should note may come to you in the any form of person, because when you love, you love a person, not their gender, but for me, they are my male counter-part!This was one of my bigger issues to get over so I could accept myself :)


I think this is normal for people who are "awakening".
I hope this helps!

It does help. Thank you x