Becoming immune to egoic reactions

[FrogWarrior]

Growing up, when I hit around 8 I started caring what people think of me. A massive aid for training in the art of rendering oneself immune to everything, is hearing voices. If I get sleep deprived then alter my mind in a specific way, I hear them. The more sleep deprived and malnureshed, the most extense and responsive they seem to be. For years I'm been getting taunts in my head, and become the not so well life experienced fellow I was, I thought back in a way that seemed logic at the time. I'd hurl abuse back at ttem. Most of the time I'n wok. Ignoring had the opposite effect, they'd just get me out of nowhehere... the drowsiness kickned in, ill finish this off another da

[Baile]

Hi Frogwarrior.

I read your post, and afterwards wondered if you were on drugs when you wrote it. Because I honestly don't understand a good portion of it. Then I read this comment of yours in another thread:
I'm a psychonaut, I use substances to explore the inner world (my own mind, depths of my subconscious etc.) and persecution against psychonauts is still happening today. I don't fear persecution by society. Its not just christians behind this persecution, its the average person who thinks all mind altering substances are the same, and should remain illegal.
What persecution are you referring to? Do you mean people who happen to point out the dangers of drug use? And this in particular caught my eye:
A massive aid for training in the art of rendering oneself immune to everything, is hearing voices. If I get sleep deprived then alter my mind in a specific way, I hear them. For years I'm been getting taunts in my headMy closest friend was someone I met at the age of 8. We were friends for 3 decades before drugs took his life. Drug use was the reason he lost his mind in his mid-30s. The last time I saw him, he was huddled in a corner of his apartment warning me about the dragon on the ceiling that was taunting him.

Again, not sure what you're talking about with the persecution comment, but it sounds like it's directly related to this egoic reactions topic. People offer opinions and advice for different reasons. If people in your life are questioning your drug use, then I'm going to suggest it probably has plenty to do with caring about your long-term health.

[FrogWarrior]

The drowsiness really kicked in, must have gone to bed lol. I wasn't talking about being persecuted for drug use, when I said caring about what people think of me, I meant in general. For example if someone calls me anything which I deem negative, even if I partially know it can't possibly be true, it triggers a negative emotion. Its both because my ego wants to be liked by others, and because my ego wants to feel infallible. Its a massive weakness. What a massive liberation it is to "truly" lack any care of what others think of me. I'm not there yet, but getting there. Caring about what they think, and caring about them are 2 different things and now that I lack the former, I can much better utilise the latter because if somebody points out a behaviour of mine which bothers them, I won't take offense, I'll see it for what it is (they're asking me to refrain from doing that which bothers them) and simply refrain from doing that behaviour around them. But what I was talking about in this thread was hearing voices which verbally assault my ego and rip into any vulnerability or weakness I have, for example at the back of my mind I just heard "you're weak" and it triggered a negative emotion because if theres one thing my ego can't stand, its appearing vulnerable. It comes in phases, lately I've been hearing "you're a baby" and "you're a pussy". Both things which harm my egos illusion of invulnerability. The negative emotion gets triggered because I am immature, and I do get afraid in certain situations so those labels aren't entirely unfitting, but other times I will hear something that can't possibly fit such as "you're gay". I'm pretty sure I'm heterosexual so that one simply doesn't apply and doesn't trigger any emotions, its just neutral. This is one of those duality things, the ego can't handle paradoxes. When it gets extreme, the voices cycle through saying "you're a hero" and "you're a villain". Whether this is purely my subconscious or not, a profound spiritual phenomenon is occuring and I'm being transformed into something others tend to become through years meditation. I'm not saying this is a shortcut, its anything but it, its harsh and painful and has taken me years to get where I am, and I'm still not there. What I'm talking about is detaching from the ego. I made friends with someone who took the meditation route, hes a Buddhist monk and hes light years ahead of me in this respect, but when he talks about things hes learned through meditation, it made me realise I have been learning these things serendepitously for a long time now too.

Last night the voices became responsive, thats pretty rare, only happened me 3 times and that was many years ago, the voices said their usual taunts, at first I decided I was just gonna observe and do the Vipassana approach, but instead I decided to take the opportunity to talk to them so I responded to them in a way that coincides with my current mindset (rather than get defensive or offensive, I just accept that others can view or say whatever they like about me, I am what I am) and they were responding with positive things like "jesus man, you've changed" or "absolutely magnificent answer, almost poetic, I can't tell you how much I respect that" (both those were paraphrased, I don't remember the exact words). I didn't let my ego take the bait, because the voices in the past have this trick where they use compliments to lull one into a false sense of security, then once I drop my guard, they rip into me and its much more devastating then because my guard was dropped. But thats not the point at all, I see that I am in such a state that the voices cannot devastate me like that anyway, because I have spent so long correcting myself that the vulnerabilities they got me with in the past (they targetted guilt, since I want to be a good man, that was devastating for me) aren't there. Like I said, I'm evolving and this voice thing is giving me a guage to measure that progress. I have to say, it was what a Buddhist monk told me that really helped me make sense of all this. He meditates 10 hours per day and told me the kinds of things his mind does while hes meditating, it gave me an idea of how deceptive this "adversary" is and it made me realise that what been I've up against, is probably in fact, my own mind. The subconscious knows things that the conscious mind doesn't yet know, thats what got me, I thought that some of the things it said like coming out with wise statements that I had never heard or thought about before, it made me think it couldn't be my own mind doing this, but looks like I underestimated the subconscious mind and the ego. The telepathic phenomena gets mixed in there, thats probably a natural ability I have but my subconscious relays it to me, thats what had me paranoid thinking that maybe the voices are all paranormal phenomena, but I've done plenty of experiments and determined they're not. I've proven a lot of it is just the subconscious feeding me what I expect to hear. The mind is kind of like a machine, one needs to learn how it works before one can use it effectively.

Anyhow, this is what makes me realise these voices aren't so bad afterall. They target weaknesses and the only way to become immune to that is patch the weakness up. On top of general weaknesses, they will also target things I've done bad without realising it. Any little thing that I have done bad, most of the time these are accidental things like said something offensive to someone without realising, they will mercilessly rip into that. This is great because they point it out for me, and a lot of the time they are things I hadn't even noticed (consciously at least, this could be my subconscious talking). What I do nowadays is when I get targeted for a wrong doing, I apologise because I truly didn't mean to do it, and I am truly sorry. I forgive everyone who is sorry for something they've done, there are no exceptions to that, so these voices, whatever they are, they should really do the same. I know all this sounds completely insane, the whole "hearing voices" thing, I'm well aware of what that sounds like to the average person but it is what it is. A direct line to the subconscious and more.

[FrogWarrior]

Its really hard to determine what is genuine telepathic phenomena, or what is just something I know the person will say because my subconscious knows them better than I do. For example, out of the blue there I heard "you should give yourself more credit", then I read an email for someone who told me I did well in something, when in reality I thought I messed it up badly. He said I did alright considering it was my first time doing it. When I heard the sentence in my head, I insantly thought of this person, I don't know him personally, but I can see hes a good man and I have profound respect for him so I kind of knew this was how he would react to it.

Other situations though, if its my subconscious predicting what the other person will say, then my subconscious is a true genius because I have no idea how any human could do it. Hearing portions of a story someone hasn't told me yet, mainly the punchline of the story I'll hear, the most obvious one I've probably mentioned it to people here before was I was hearing "IN ANOTHER ROOM", there was lots of emphasis on it, it felt like someone talking to me face to face. Then I read a private message from that person and they told me a story. Part of the story involved them seeing something that happened in another room. I had only talked to this person via 3 or 4 PMs on an internet forum, I knew nothing at all about them. He was talking about psychic things that he observed while in sleep paralysis. I've observed a lot of that myself too.

My theory about this "telepathy" thing is that it happens when someone is thinking about saying something to me, they'll rehearse it in their heads and I pick up on it somehow. I don't think this is a rare ability of mine, I think its just because I have a silent mind that I can spot it so easily. A while ago, I decided to email a friend who I met on holidays, I only found his email address that day, and his response was something like "wow, what amazing synchronicity, today out of nowhere I had a strong impression of you in my mind, then I check my inbox and see an email from you". I can relate to that one. I suddenly start thinking about someone I hadn't seen in months, then I walk out my front door and who do I run into. My theory is that this person when she saw my house, started thinking about me, then that triggered the thought of her in my head.

Nikola Tesla (someone whos theories really deserve credit) was that two minds can communicate telepathically if they were tuned to the same frequency, like a radio. If Tesla was around today, I would love to know what he'd discover about all this. He was a true genius, probably had the mental abilities of 1000 of me put together, but interestingly, he learned through visions, so maybe he was tuned into some kind of cosmic frequency. He had no concern for money, he actually tore up the contract he had with one of his investors when this investor was facing some financial trouble. All he cared about was making the world a better place for everyone, his plan was to provide the world with free, wireless electricity and he would have accomplished this if some less altruistic people (who he was forced to rely on for funding) caught wind of this and decided to put an end to his project. I highly recommend his autobiography, at the end of it he gets into spiritual experiences.

Another example of this learning through inner listening happened me last night. A voice in my head said "nobody wants to hear stuff like that, especially if they talked about dead relatives". I knew it was in relation to me telling my friends about a scary paranormal experience I had (we were drunk, I hadn't told that to anyone offline before) but I didn't know what the dead relative part meant. Now I remember. My friend told me about the paranormal experience he had after his grandmother died, I didn't see that what I said would make someone feel bad because I connected a scary experience to his experience about a dead loved one. I really didn't intend to do that, and I wouldn't have noticed the offense I caused if I hadn't heard a voice point it out to me. I feel bad about that now, but its too late to do anything about it. I suppose I could elaborate on it and tell him that it may not have been such a negative thing afterall, it may have been something I asked for, I wanted proof in the spiritual world, and I got it. This person doesn't believe in anything like that though, not openly anyway, he was just sharing an unexplainable experience to me. When I heard "nobody wants to hear that kind of thing" that I wasn't expecting at all. I thought people find this fascinating. I didnt think at the time about how death is such a mysterious thing for everyone, and not everyone lacks fear of it so, so telling someone something scary like that right after they told me a story (which was a bit spooky itself) about the 1 paranormal experience they have had in their lives the night their grandmother died (he said he didn't know she was dead when it happened, he found out the next day) was a very thoughtless, insensitive thing to do. I just didn't see it at the time, and I wouldn't have seen it afterwards if a voice in my head didn't point it out to me.

[FrogWarrior]

Its really hard to determine what is genuine telepathic phenomena, or what is just something I know the person will say because my subconscious knows them better than I do. For example, out of the blue there I heard "you should give yourself more credit", then I read an email for someone who told me I did well in something, when in reality I thought I messed it up badly. He said I did alright considering it was my first time doing it. When I heard the sentence in my head, I insantly thought of this person, I don't know him personally, but I can see hes a good man and I have profound respect for him so I kind of knew this was how he would react to it.

Other situations though, if its my subconscious predicting what the other person will say, then my subconscious is a true genius because I have no idea how any human could do it. Hearing portions of a story someone hasn't told me yet, mainly the punchline of the story I'll hear, the most obvious one I've probably mentioned it to people here before was I was hearing "IN ANOTHER ROOM", there was lots of emphasis on it, it felt like someone talking to me face to face. Then I read a private message from that person and they told me a story. Part of the story involved them seeing something that happened in another room. I had only talked to this person via 3 or 4 PMs on an internet forum, I knew nothing at all about them. He was talking about psychic things that he observed while in sleep paralysis. I've observed a lot of that myself too.

My theory about this "telepathy" thing is that it happens when someone is thinking about saying something to me, they'll rehearse it in their heads and I pick up on it somehow. I don't think this is a rare ability of mine, I think its just because I have a silent mind that I can spot it so easily. A while ago, I decided to email a friend who I met on holidays, I only found his email address that day, and his response was something like "wow, what amazing synchronicity, today out of nowhere I had a strong impression of you in my mind, then I check my inbox and see an email from you". I can relate to that one. I suddenly start thinking about someone I hadn't seen in months, then I walk out my front door and who do I run into. My theory is that this person when she saw my house, started thinking about me, then that triggered the thought of her in my head.

Nikola Tesla (someone whos theories really deserve credit) was that two minds can communicate telepathically if are tuned to the same frequency, like a radio. If Tesla was around today, I would love to know what he'd discover about all this. He was a true genius, probably had the mental abilities of 1000 of me put together, but interestingly, he learned through visions, so maybe he was tuned into some kind of cosmic frequency. He had no concern for money, he actually tore up the contract he had with one of his investors when this investor was facing some financial trouble. All he cared about was making the world a better place for everyone, his plan was to provide the world with free, wireless electricity and he would have accomplished this if some less altruistic people (who he was forced to rely on for funding) caught wind of this and decided to put an end to his project. I highly recommend his autobiography, at the end of it he gets into spiritual experiences.

Another example of this learning through inner listening happened me last night. A voice in my head said "nobody wants to hear stuff like that, especially if they talked about dead relatives". I knew it was in relation to me telling my friends about a scary paranormal experience I had (we were drunk, I hadn't told that to anyone offline before) but I didn't know what the dead relative part meant. Now I remember. My friend told me about the paranormal experience he had after his grandmother died, I didn't see that what I said would make someone feel bad because I connected a scary experience to his experience about a dead loved one. I really didn't intend to do that, and I wouldn't have noticed the offense I caused if I hadn't heard a voice point it out to me. I feel bad about that now, but its too late to do anything about it. I suppose I could elaborate on it and tell him that it may not have been such a negative thing afterall, it may have been something I asked for, I wanted proof in the spiritual world, and I got it. This person doesn't believe in anything like that though, not openly anyway, he was just sharing an unexplainable experience to me. When I heard "nobody wants to hear that kind of thing" that I wasn't expecting at all. I thought people find this fascinating. I didnt think at the time about how death is such a mysterious thing for everyone, and not everyone lacks fear of it so, so telling someone something scary like that right after they told me a story (which was a bit spooky itself) about the 1 paranormal experience they have had in their lives the night their grandmother died (he said he didn't know she was dead when it happened, he found out the next day) was a very thoughtless, insensitive thing to do. I just didn't see it at the time, and I wouldn't have seen it afterwards if a voice in my head didn't point it out to me.

Nikola Tesla actually had a similar experience to my friends one when his mother (or grandmother, I can't remember) died. He said he had a vision of an angel floating above his bed (while he was awake) and the next day he found out she had died the night before. Thats what triggered the theory of telepathic communication, he was very close to his mother and thinks that resulted in them both being tuned to the same frequency. I have observed it with people I don't even know personally, like the person I talked to on the internet, maybe thats just what made it so blatantly obvious, I knew nothing about the person so what are the odds that I was able to predict what he was going to say like that. Maybe this kind of thing happens regularly with all of us, but it goes by unnoticed because its only in rare situations where those "how could I have possibly known that" experiences happen. I've heard people tell me that someone they hadn't heard from in years, they suddenly think about them then the phone rings and its them. Lets say the person (lets call them Jane) on the other end was thinking about calling (lets call them Jim) this person. By Jane thinking about Jim (if you're about to call someone, you will be thinking about them), maybe the thought about Jane gets triggered in Jims head. Then when Jim answers the phone and sees its Jane, he gets a big shock because he hadn't thought about Jane in years, then right before he gets a call from her he starts thinking about her. Well, if Jane and Jim talked to each other regularly, then it wouldn't seem so weird if Jim "randomly" started thinking about Jane, then Jane calls him up. Maybe this kind of thing happens a whole lot more often than we think, but it just goes by unnoticed, its only in the rarer occasions where its blatantly obvious that we notice it happen. For example, if I thought about this woman but stayed in my house, then nothing weird there, I just got a random thought of a woman (she gave me maths tutoring) I hadn't seen in months. But in this case, I happened to have been about to leave the house and ran right into her as she was passing my house. A rare occasion that let me notice it.

This obviously doesn't happen with everyone, I've contacted people out of the blue many times and they don't report synchronicity, and vice versa, I recently got an email from someone out of the blue and no synchronicity. I wonder what it is that forms the connection. This friend who I observed it with, I met him while on holidays, we live in different continents but for the few weeks we were in close proximity, it was like we had been friends for years. This woman who gave me maths tutoring on the other hand, while I like her, we didn't become close friends or anything. The fellow on the internet I didn't know, and didn't trust (because he was trying to make me become scared of sleep paralysis for some reason). I did like him though. So the only thing these 3 experiences had in common were that I exchanged words with the people, and I like and respect the people. Trust isn't a factor, nor is friendship or having known them for years. Nor is knowing much at all about the person, this internet experience I didn't know the persons name, what they looked like, where they were from etc. Sorry, I got completely sidetracked there, I should split this into two threads, I'll do that now. Both are very interesting topics, but don't belong in the same thread.