Twin Flame broke up with me

[trusemook]

I feel quite silly about this whole thing, but I figured this forum might understand better than anyone. OK. So I am 98% sure that I met my twin flame. The thing is, we never officially 'met' in person, only online. We talked through Skype, so we saw each other, heard eachother's voices, etc. The way our relationship started was completely out of the blue. I had seen a video he posted and thought it was hilarious, and wrote him a short message telling him so, and asking him if he had any other's, perhaps with a bit less profanity, so that I could share it with some of my older friends. I am quite a bit older than him, and though I thought he came across as intelligent, mature, and cute, I didn't think about him as anything other than a cute, random boy. He wrote me back, the next day. His message was very kind and came off very intellectual-a big turn on for me-and not at all what I would have expected from someone his age. We began to write back and forth, getting to know each other, then 'progressed' to Skype, still under the pretense of being friends. He lives in another country, and I was fascinated with his knowledge of history and culture. We would talk for 3, 4, even 5 hours at a time. We had an obvious connection, finishing each other's sentences, saying the same things at the same time. We basically admitted our feelings at the same time. We continued to talk, more intensely for many, many hours at a time. We both had severe 'cravings' for each other. We felt each other physically-our hands and lower abdomen would get intensely hot. He could soothe my like no other person had, ever. I researched twin flames, and showed him the articles, of which he completely agreed with. I never felt judged by him, allowed myself to be goofy and silly with him, felt very safe. I have not allowed myself to be in any sort of relationship in about 2 years, after a very hard break-up, and he had very minimal experience with relationships. We hit some small bumps, little arguments, but resolved them within a day or so. Then we were both busy for a couple days and couldn't talk (we normally talked everyday). The second day I felt awful, severely nauseous, anxious, and knew something was wrong. However, his emails were still very loving. Then he did not email me at all for a day. This was out of the ordinary. When we finally talked on Skype, he was distant, and I asked him what was wrong. He hemmed and hawed and finally told me that he no longer felt connected with me. He said his feelings for me had dwindled down for a while, and he didn't know why. He said he tried to 'get the feelings back', but he couldn't. I felt his coldness. Yet he was crying when he was talking. He said he still cared about me, and didn't want to lose me as a friend. I was relatively calm, and we actually had a somewhat regular conversation admist this. I felt hurt by the rejection, but I also remembered that some of the articles I read said that this kind of thing could happen, the one person get scared of the connection or whatever. I felt OK until I woke up at 4 in the morning the next day crying. I was angry and upset, and wrote him a seething message, telling him how awful he was for leading me on. I copied the message he had written just 2 days prior and asked him how he could write such a loving message and be so full of it. He wrote back and was defensive, saying that he meant it in that moment, and that I was a jerk for coming to a 'cold, ignorant conclusion'. He said he did not want anything else to do with me, and deleted me from all his online accounts (except Skype).
Sorry this is so long, but I really wanted to try to tell the full story, as I really need some advice. This all happened so fast. My heart hurts. What can I do?

[tragblack]

I don't really know what you can do... I mean, if he doesn't want to be with you, then that is his choice. It hurts, I can understand, and it may not be fair, but what else can you do? You can't force him to see the relationship the way you see it-- you can't force him to be with you.

[Shabda]

one word, detachment...

[17 yrs of separation]

What I learned from this forum is that an unconditional love is such where you rejoyce his choice as you wish for him to be happy. It is bloody hard. I would acknowledge his choice and wish him love and happiness. Yes it sucks and it contravens with human behaviour...:confused3: When he is ready to accept the gift you've given him he may return.
I am dreading contacting my connection out of fear of rejection who is also some place else



Hang in there :hug3:

[trusemook]

Thank you guys for the replies so far. When I reread my entry, I feel pretty stupid, like a silly school girl. I thought I was stronger than this. I am usually the one to just say "screw it", and move on. But this whole thing was...different. I swear, I've been through many relationships, some good, some awful, and I've never felt as I did with him. But, I guess the quote "If you love something, set it free and it may come back to you" is what I have to do. I just thought the spiritual connection was so incredibly strong that it could withstand anything. I haven't been able to eat, I have no energy, no focus. This has never, ever happened to me before. And with someone I've never been with, face to face. It is so odd! And so not me.

[LadyImpreza1111]

Thank you guys for the replies so far. When I reread my entry, I feel pretty stupid, like a silly school girl.

You are NOT silly. Yeah, this connection has the ability to make ya feel like a teenager again. But you aknowledged your feelings for him and vice versa. There was nothing silly in that.


I thought I was stronger than this. I am usually the one to just say "screw it", and move on. But this whole thing was...different. I swear, I've been through many relationships, some good, some awful, and I've never felt as I did with him.

Thats because a connection like this is once in a lifetime and as much as some might want to be able to just MOVE ON..........its not that simple at all.

But, I guess the quote "If you love something, set it free and it may come back to you" is what I have to do.

Important rule to live by...........especially with this connection. You have to learn to "let go" no matter how hard it is.........and love unconditionally.


I just thought the spiritual connection was so incredibly strong that it could withstand anything.

It is a connection that will endure beyond time and space and the feelings don't go away just because he ended it. However, no matter how strong the connection is itself, that doesn't mean both people are spiritually evolved enough to be READY for an actual relationship. You might be the more evolved one............he might have a ways to go.

I haven't been able to eat, I have no energy, no focus. This has never, ever happened to me before. And with someone I've never been with, face to face. It is so odd! And so not me.

Thats when you KNOW its a twin flame connection. What you are experiencing is Soul Shock. Have you ever read about that? Check out this article:
http://www.articlealley.com/article_17081_35.html (http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/redir.php?link=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.articlealley.com%2 Farticle_17081_35.html)

[mystical]

bless u , you are not silly but it can make u feel as tho u are i posted a topic the other day stating how peopel saw me as a silly girl with a crush lol , sounds to me he is pulling himself back , he hurt u so u got defensive and lashed out because the ego was in control and he doen the same , u made him think all was ok and then in his mind , turned on him , be careful tho because u really need to undertsnad the connection properly , sounds to me he was doing just what my twin did , and that was tell u hiow he felt how the conenction or lack of it made him feel , this was not entirely aimed at u but because u felt detached from him then u also got defensive , he is there to show u ya self everything he does u do etc , hes basically relaying bk to what u do when defensive , all i can say is give it time , and the lonegr u choose to not contact him the easier it will be for him , let him know ur sorry and that u understand but u lashed out cos u too felt the detachement , ((((((((((hugs))))))))))),

[NightSpirit]

There is always a reason these things happen...although we may never get it. Sorry for you, and like the others, I can only say the same, that you have no control over his actions..only your own. Bless

[SunSister]

This all sounds terribly familiar, with the only difference that I had to hear this from a mutual friend of ours and only then received his confirmation. There'll be a time of anger, sadness and grief that fuels responses like yours. I initially had the same response as you did.. very detached and calm at first, but angry and upset as time went on.. :smile: Nothing you can do but sing it out and allow yourself to feel this.

There will be a time in your life when all you want is for him to be happy. I have come to the stage where I accept every other person in his life for as long as they give him what he needs most -- love, acceptance, respect and happiness. It no longer matters if I am the one to give him all of that, but I will fight the presence of people who won't give him this tooth and nail because he doesn't deserve anything less than the best. :smile: In time, I think you'll get to this stage as well.. that's when the relationship stops being a tug of war and starts being the genuine deal between you..

[NightSpirit]

This all sounds terribly familiar, with the only difference that I had to hear this from a mutual friend of ours and only then received his confirmation. There'll be a time of anger, sadness and grief that fuels responses like yours. I initially had the same response as you did.. very detached and calm at first, but angry and upset as time went on.. :smile: Nothing you can do but sing it out and allow yourself to feel this.

There will be a time in your life when all you want is for him to be happy. I have come to the stage where I accept every other person in his life for as long as they give him what he needs most -- love, acceptance, respect and happiness. It no longer matters if I am the one to give him all of that, but I will fight the presence of people who won't give him this tooth and nail because he doesn't deserve anything less than the best. :smile: In time, I think you'll get to this stage as well.. that's when the relationship stops being a tug of war and starts being the genuine deal between you..'

Nice spin :smile: ........

[Falling Star]

I see these Twin bonds as being the truest love as experienced by the higher-self and will be understood totally as we awaken and evolve to this level.......And so for now Acceptance will bring it's own form of understanding.
Ego and human conditioning has to be transcended to be able to understand the vibrational energy involved between our souls collectively.

[trusemook]

I am so thankful I found this forum. You guys are all so supportive, especially now, when I feel as though I've gone nuts! I am awake, at 4 am, again, crying, looking back at some old messages, trying to figure out what went wrong. It was so sudden--there were no signs of anything wrong up until the day before he told me. The logical part of me just doesn't understand. The spiritual part of me truly believes that he'll come back. But my ego prevents me from apologizing for my impulsive reaction. I'm being pulled in so many directions, it's ridiculous and painful and confusing. All I want is to see him, hear his voice again. I feel him, I feel the warmth in my hands and a bit of swirlng in my stomach. But am I imagining this? Am I just feeling my own wishful thinking? He has shut me out of everything--he even reworded a video he made for me on youtube, deleting the part that said it was for me, and writing something else. It hits like an uppercut to the face. But in a weird way, I almost understand, and feel like he is just so confused, he doesn't know which way to turn either. I know that I am more evolved than he. But I can't stand this for much longer. However, I refuse to come off as needy or weak, trying to pul him back in. I can't win, and I feel awful in this meantime...

[trusemook]

Thank you guys for the replies so far. When I reread my entry, I feel pretty stupid, like a silly school girl.

You are NOT silly. Yeah, this connection has the ability to make ya feel like a teenager again. But you aknowledged your feelings for him and vice versa. There was nothing silly in that.


I thought I was stronger than this. I am usually the one to just say "screw it", and move on. But this whole thing was...different. I swear, I've been through many relationships, some good, some awful, and I've never felt as I did with him.

Thats because a connection like this is once in a lifetime and as much as some might want to be able to just MOVE ON..........its not that simple at all.

But, I guess the quote "If you love something, set it free and it may come back to you" is what I have to do.

Important rule to live by...........especially with this connection. You have to learn to "let go" no matter how hard it is.........and love unconditionally.


I just thought the spiritual connection was so incredibly strong that it could withstand anything.

It is a connection that will endure beyond time and space and the feelings don't go away just because he ended it. However, no matter how strong the connection is itself, that doesn't mean both people are spiritually evolved enough to be READY for an actual relationship. You might be the more evolved one............he might have a ways to go.

I haven't been able to eat, I have no energy, no focus. This has never, ever happened to me before. And with someone I've never been with, face to face. It is so odd! And so not me.

Thats when you KNOW its a twin flame connection. What you are experiencing is Soul Shock. Have you ever read about that? Check out this article:
http://www.articlealley.com/article_17081_35.html (http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/redir.php?link=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.articlealley.com%2 Farticle_17081_35.html)

Thank you, Lady, for breaking it all down. That article was parallel to my situation. I was thinking of going to a spiritual advisor, though I don't think I can spend the money on it. I want so badly to believe it, but then a small part of me, probably my ego, says it is all wishful thinking, stupid, and I am just being crazy and not wanting to let go. But I swear, through the hurt, I still feel him. I still feel his energy. But I don't know if it's real or imagined. This is all so crazy making!

[trusemook]

I see these Twin bonds as being the truest love as experienced by the higher-self and will be understood totally as we awaken and evolve to this level.......And so for now Acceptance will bring it's own form of understanding.
Ego and human conditioning has to be transcended to be able to understand the vibrational energy involved between our souls collectively.

Are you speaking of my particular situation, or Twin Bonds in general? And if so, how do you go about transcending ego and human conditioning?

[LadyImpreza1111]

Thank you, Lady, for breaking it all down. That article was parallel to my situation. I was thinking of going to a spiritual advisor, though I don't think I can spend the money on it. I want so badly to believe it, but then a small part of me, probably my ego, says it is all wishful thinking, stupid, and I am just being crazy and not wanting to let go. But I swear, through the hurt, I still feel him. I still feel his energy. But I don't know if it's real or imagined. This is all so crazy making!

A spiritual advisor would probably just charge ya money. You can probably find that here for free.

I remember when my twin first ran. Ironically I wasn't hurt at all. I just chalked it up to my feelings being one sided. After I cancelled my membership on that dating site, thus eliminating the one way I could speak to him............THAT was when I started feeling him. The good and the bad. And when I feel the bad, I manage to sometimes comfort him either telepathically or through dreams. There were times he has done the same for me.

[Kiran]

Hi Elizabeth. Your story sounds awful, and I am the best to understand you because I also broke up with my twin. I don't know why, but some day in fury I told him to get lost from my life, and he took me by the word.

So, yes, I know how it feels.

But you can't do anything about it now. Try to bless him with love and light and give him freedom - if he has received any good from you, if he is for you, he will come back.

While I tell you this, I am thinking the same thing for me and my soulmate. It is incredibly hard to let go of a person you feel so connected to. But maybe it's just not meant to be right now. Perhaps you both need to have some other experiences before you can move on as a couple.

I wish you all the best. Feel free to PM me whenever you need help.

Have a hug. :hug3:
Kiran

[trusemook]

Thank you Kiran.

[Falling Star]

Are you speaking of my particular situation, or Twin Bonds in general? And if so, how do you go about transcending ego and human conditioning?

Hi Trusemook, i guess i am talking about our bonds collectively. but corresponds to you and your situation.
The soul bonds are true experiences of our souls and until we reach that level of awareness we will not be able to understand the seperations we all seem to be having to go through.
We are all struggling to understand these bonds.......But our souls are evolving because of them.
We are humanly conditioned to think in certain ways.....Logically. But these bonds cannot always be understood this way.
So.......Very slowly we are evolving as souls, becoming our higher-selves at twin level, where i feel all will be understood.

Higher-selves and ego's seem to be going through a battle....Thus creating conflict within as a result.
I hope this makes sense to you. ((hug))

[mnblueray]

Dear friend,

I have just had the same experience, only I had spent 6 months with her. It was difficult at first and we parted briefly two or three times during it, but everytime we came back together it seemed to improve until for the last 5 or 6 weeks, it was beginning to flourish. Then she left. She left for someone else - a very old friend from her childhood years, whom she had regained contact with. She had an affair with him while I was away in France with my mother. That hurt, but then she said she wanted to be with him. She said, it wasn't me or it wasn't us, it was just him and that she still misses so much about me. She says she felt compelled to go to him and since she has, she feels a great peace.
I am in turmoil now, because I don't know what to do. I know we have a deep, deep connection. When we were physically close, she would transform, not once, but a number of times. I could sense what she was doing/feeling even when I wasn't with her. I knew she had the affair, days before she told me. When I told her that, she screamed, "you didn't know" over and over again.
What's happening? I am with a councellor now because I need answers, for myself. I feel that something has been ripped from my soul and there is a deep sadness and loss within me. She has told me that she has a sense of why she is here...she is a lightworker and yet, I cannot understand why she chose to hurt me, not yet anyway. I don't really understand all this soulmate stuff. I don't know if I'm just a love sick puppy or whether any of this is real. All I know is my soul has suffered a great loss and I'm in shock.

[trusemook]

Hi Trusemook, i guess i am talking about our bonds collectively. but corresponds to you and your situation.
The soul bonds are true experiences of our souls and until we reach that level of awareness we will not be able to understand the seperations we all seem to be having to go through.
We are all struggling to understand these bonds.......But our souls are evolving because of them.
We are humanly conditioned to think in certain ways.....Logically. But these bonds cannot always be understood this way.
So.......Very slowly we are evolving as souls, becoming our higher-selves at twin level, where i feel all will be understood.

Higher-selves and ego's seem to be going through a battle....Thus creating conflict within as a result.
I hope this makes sense to you. ((hug))

I'm starting to understand this more with each passing day. If nothing else, this experience has truly awakened me spiritually. I always felt the spirit, and I don't remember ever really denying it-although I did ignore my own intuition many times, unfortunately-it always felt a big part of my life.

And, especially through this forum, I am learning more about ego vs higher selves, and how much my ego has over-powered me. I think it's the beginning of a good change. I'd much rather be at peace and not react so hastily all the time. Again, I so grateful to have found this forum and the amazing advice I'm getting here!

[trusemook]

mnblueray, I totally relate. I guess this is all a learning process.

[mnblueray]

What I am learning are the connections with my feelings in the present and my past life experiences and how I can identify them...it's hard work, but necessary.

[trusemook]

Update:

So, I wrote him a message the other morning, apologizing for my irrational reply, telling him I was hurt, and I lashed out, and a bit of the psychology behind why I responded as I did. I told him I'd like to still be friends, and that I understood if he didn't want to.

He responded that night, saying he was glad I wrote him, that he had been feeling awful as well. He said he was glad that I didn't think he was a monster, and that I believed him, and no longer thought that he 'played' me. He said he didn't want to hurt me in any way. He also said that he wanted to keep things slow and casual so that things didn't get 'out of hand again'.

He added me back as friends on facebook (I feel so immature saying that). I saw on his status updates that for the 2-3 days that I was mourning, he was posting general updates about how ****** he felt, that his brain felt like it was melting, and another that simply stated 'YUCK', another saying he was 'Stuck in Bullstuff". Then, just 3 hours before I sent him my message, his update was this--"Ascend from Darkness."

So, we are some kind of same plane, whether it is meant to be a romantic partners or friends or something else, I don't know. We haven't spoken via Skype yet, but I'm just trying to be patient.

Honestly, being on here has helped in my healing, and I don't think I could have pushed aside my pride and ego had I not gotten such great advice. We'll see where it goes from here. I'm a bit frightened by the whole connectedness and similar timing, when we didn't even know what each other was feeling. Can anyone relate?



Edited by SF Staff

[trusemook]

OK, this is getting ridiculous. I am up, once again, at 4 am, crying, longing to talk to him. Even though we're on 'good terms', he still doesn't want to spend any time with me. Which is his choice, I understand. But I have this deep-seeded need to see him, to hear his voice, and I hate it. I hate it that I feel so needy and filled withlonging. I feel fine, and don't think about it for an afternoon or whatever, then it hits me all over, usually about this time, each time. I'm sitting here, crying, hoping he'll contact me in some sort of way. I am so not like this. Is it because I unconciously feel so alone? Am I turning into a clingy, needy person, that of which I always dispised. I had been fine without any romantic relationship for 2 years, after healing from a very unhealthy one, and then I fall apart here. I just don't get it, and it is extrememly frustrating! I even started smoking cigarettes again, 6 months after I quit.

[LadyImpreza1111]

Hon. This doesn't make you needy or clingy at all. If you look at multiple posts on this forum, many people feel that way about their twins. I know I feel like I lost my independence and independence was something I always prided myself on.

But in cases like these, sometimes you have to pull away in order for him to want to initiate contact or see you.

[mystical]

OK, this is getting ridiculous. I am up, once again, at 4 am, crying, longing to talk to him. Even though we're on 'good terms', he still doesn't want to spend any time with me. Which is his choice, I understand. But I have this deep-seeded need to see him, to hear his voice, and I hate it. I hate it that I feel so needy and filled withlonging. I feel fine, and don't think about it for an afternoon or whatever, then it hits me all over, usually about this time, each time. I'm sitting here, crying, hoping he'll contact me in some sort of way. I am so not like this. Is it because I unconciously feel so alone? Am I turning into a clingy, needy person, that of which I always dispised. I had been fine without any romantic relationship for 2 years, after healing from a very unhealthy one, and then I fall apart here. I just don't get it, and it is extrememly frustrating! I even started smoking cigarettes again, 6 months after I quit.
most of us feel this way truesmook , oen day we cna be focused and all is well , eveyrhting looks so clearly , but u are in fact still a human being and ur feelings wioll often come in , i use to eb jsut the same with mine , hated when i over reacted which was nearly all the times,

when me n twin would over react he would ignore me i would be so sad n lose my focus , i let the feelings bring me down , then i would sit and reflect and regain my focus once more then i would contact him , kinda syaing what u did to him bout being friends , this worked for a day lol but once again i needed him needed the cuddels needed the interaction to have him conatantly speak to me , if i wasnt busy and i needed him i expected him to just ring me or text me or whatever and same for him an hour would pass of me not speaking to him and he would let the ego take over ,then one of us would over react and before u know a full scale argument would result and once again that deep ache and regret would come bk , we all know it should be romanticised but because we are so in love with them its hard to focus on anything other ,we want them to hold us and we want to see them so we cna go all ga ga over them and pour out whats in hearts , thats all the physical side of it but its only when we seprate we see that its about the spiritual union rather than the physical one itself its why we feel cut off ist why we feel we cannot breath and its then we recognise the bond we have , afterwards we feel so stupid we know what we shoul;d and shouldnt be doing but yet once we are ok with our twins everything else can go out the window spiritually , go easy on urself ok (((hugs))))

[trusemook]

I know it's been a while since I posted on this thread, and I was trying not to, but I feel like I just can't deal with this. I feel like I am going nuts. I understand and agree with what all of you guys have posted. I understand it, logically. But this 'unconditional love' thing is getting to be too much. I cannot, CANNOT stop thinking about him. It's like I am obsessed. Even when I am busy, working, at home, out, whatever. I think about him. How much I miss him. Wondering if he sent me a message. Wondering if he's thinking of me. We planned to talk on Sunday, and he didn't call. He said it was because he thought I meant Monday. He didn't even apologize. And when we talked previously, he didn't even ask how I've been, how my family was, work, nothing. I've been doing meditation, clearing my Chakras, clearing his Chakras, connecting our Chakras, the Violet Flame and the White flame, and every other color flame. I'm serious. How sad is that? And the results? Nothing. When we were together, it was so obvious that we were connected by soul. Now, I highly doubt he gives me a fleeting thought. And it feels pretty much just as bad as it did before.

So, I suppose my question is-am I just supposed to wait? Wait until we a reunited, which could be weeks, months, years? Am I supposed to let him go? 'Cut the cord'? I really don't see myself getting over him anytime soon. Yet I can't live like this.

It's not like we were even together that long. We weren't even in physical contact. I know what we had was real. But I don't feel like I'm living in reality right now.

[Kaere]

Take a few deep breaths and get yourself grounded. You're obviously upset and wrapped up in this person - try just accepting that at first.

You say you doubt he gives you a fleeting thought? You don't know this, try not to assume what he's thinking, it'll make you crazy.

You can cut the cord between you two - it doesn't mean you're not connected, it means the energy is returned to where it needs to be. It will bring you some balance. IMO you should stop working with his chakras etc immediately - firstly, you're doing this without his permission and secondly, it's you're doing this without his permission. Not cool.

Perhaps working on letting go of your expectations, any expectation (good or bad) about this situation would be a help to you. Let go, give yourself peace of mind, and if he comes back to you, you'll know it's because of you and not because of what you think is "meant to be".

[trusemook]

Take a few deep breaths and get yourself grounded. You're obviously upset and wrapped up in this person - try just accepting that at first.

You say you doubt he gives you a fleeting thought? You don't know this, try not to assume what he's thinking, it'll make you crazy.

You can cut the cord between you two - it doesn't mean you're not connected, it means the energy is returned to where it needs to be. It will bring you some balance. IMO you should stop working with his chakras etc immediately - firstly, you're doing this without his permission and secondly, it's you're doing this without his permission. Not cool.

Perhaps working on letting go of your expectations, any expectation (good or bad) about this situation would be a help to you. Let go, give yourself peace of mind, and if he comes back to you, you'll know it's because of you and not because of what you think is "meant to be".

Yes, you're right. It does drive me crazy to try to figure out what he's thinking. This whole thing is driving me crazy. I have never been like this with anyone. Not even men I have had 4 and 5 years relationships with. That's why this is all so weird. That's why I keep thinking there's more to it than I understand.

I didn't know about getting permission for the Chakra thing. I recently ordered and read this book, The Twin Soul Survival guide-Working Towards the Reunion by Karen Crystal (http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/redir.php?link=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.spiritualforums.co m%2Fvb%2Fredir.php%3Flink%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww .twinflamebooks.com%252Fmall%252Fdepartmentpage.cf m%252FTwinflamebooks%252F_344279%252F1)and there's a whole section about Chakra meditation and how to do, with no mention of getting any kind of permission. In fact, it's meant to help bring the other person back to you. If it's bad to do that, I definitely won't anymore. I think I do need to just cut the cord. I'm not sure how to go about it, but I can research it. I can't keep doing this to myself. And to the peole around me. It just really hurts, emotionally, physcially, and spiritually.

[NightSpirit]

I can see its driving you nutty. You probably won't like what I will have to say, so understand that what I say does not have to be accepted by you or anyone. Where to start.....hmm
Firstly.....have you ever noticed the more you try to ignore something or someone, the more it seems to stay in your awareness? That's because when we focus on something, it brings it to the fore. So I feel your idea of trying to 'cut the cord' will only give you more grief. I guess the only way is to accept it and work through it bit by bit. Finding new ways to change the energies.

Secondly...This could very well be the start of your opportunity to acknowledge your soul/spirit and self....mind/body/soul. He could very well be your mirror to your soul. When this happens, you are given opportunity to know you. It's likened to an onion. All your life work has peeled away the layers to reach the core (in comes tf) and he/she appears to assist you in opening up the core to find the space of your soul. Although the journey together can be awesome...its a dualistic world so 'awesome's' opposite will also be part of that journey....meaning, it is never any easy road to follow.
If you happen to become an item, then its always to mirror back to each other the final vestiges of the hidden soul and the idea is to work together for the Higher Good.
Best you can do for now is concentrate on yourself and open to the messages of the soul. Best of luck with that.

[trusemook]

I can see its driving you nutty. You probably won't like what I will have to say, so understand that what I say does not have to be accepted by you or anyone. Where to start.....hmm
Firstly.....have you ever noticed the more you try to ignore something or someone, the more it seems to stay in your awareness? That's because when we focus on something, it brings it to the fore. So I feel your idea of trying to 'cut the cord' will only give you more grief. I guess the only way is to accept it and work through it bit by bit. Finding new ways to change the energies.

Secondly...This could very well be the start of your opportunity to acknowledge your soul/spirit and self....mind/body/soul. He could very well be your mirror to your soul. When this happens, you are given opportunity to know you. It's likened to an onion. All your life work has peeled away the layers to reach the core (in comes tf) and he/she appears to assist you in opening up the core to find the space of your soul. Although the journey together can be awesome...its a dualistic world so 'awesome's' opposite will also be part of that journey....meaning, it is never any easy road to follow.
If you happen to become an item, then its always to mirror back to each other the final vestiges of the hidden soul and the idea is to work together for the Higher Good.
Best you can do for now is concentrate on yourself and open to the messages of the soul. Best of luck with that.

Thank you, Night. I'm actually the type of person of which I appreciate hard to hear things--because it's honest. And, I think you're right. I mean, my relationship with him is what got me into really searching spirituality, really taking a look at what I want to believe in, what feels right for me to believe in. I didn't ever really know what I believed in, I just knew I didn't want to follow any "religion". That's kind of why I'm on here a lot. Learning. So yes, I do think he's a mirror to my soul, in so many ways. I just really hurts. I have stayed away from relationships for a couple years, because I wanted to get stronger and independent. I thought I was. Then him. Then this. And it really, really hurts. My throat is swelling up now as I type this.

So yeah. It sucks. But I went through some pain--though not like this--after a 5 year relationship ended 2 years ago, and felt stronger (for a little bit at least). So I'm sure in the long run, this will make me stronger, in more ways than one.

"Although the journey together can be awesome...its a dualistic world so 'awesome's' opposite will also be part of that journey....meaning, it is never any easy road to follow."

I love this. So true. I just didn't think it would be this hard!

[mystical]

sweetie (((((((((hugs)))))))))))) we all know of the heartache and despair and constant confusion you feel because we all feel it and sympathise with you , i was trapped in the same place myself for 16 months , i went from being very independant and never showing my feelings to anyone to ebcoming a total emotional mess , my kids lives were made a misery seeing theirmum heartbroken and suffering because i too was so sad and depressed, i couldnt understand why my twin would make me smile and feel the happiest girl in the world just to shatter me in to a million tiny pieces , i would spend days ust sat in a daze trapped in a world of just me and him holding eachother and loving one bnaother and and although it bought me huge pain it comforted me also i was sat in tears all day my poor kids wnating their mummy to play games with them to go out , but i couldnt do it i was wrapped up in him , everyone would say snap out fo it , yeah if only it was that easy i was constantly haunted by him everywhere i went he was there in my head , like a cancer eating away at me i felt i was losing my mind , and i was , for a while it was ok to feel angry and shut off but it never lasted sooner or later i was forced to feel the pain and loss ,

there is no quick fix sweetheart im sorry its necerssary to feel what u are feeling in order to grow spiritually , you need to look within yourself and se how weak you are but also how strong you are also if that makes any sense , its not your twin thats the problem here its you sweetie ,you have issues u need to resolve within , you need to find your own inner strength in order to deal with the pain,you have to love yourself ,but that will come in time, you love your twin immensely but that is just mirrored back to u of what u see , you should love yourself this much , im not going to say to you this is what u need to do or that because only when the time is right will you need to do whatever it is your suppose to do we all have different lessons here to learn with our twins, in the meantime all i cna suggets is you go easy on yourself , keep yourself occupied a little even tho he is still there constantly 24 7 , the more u focus on the pain the more it will only bring u down and make u feel bad for longer , take your power back get control back of u ,bless you sweetheart xxxxxx

[LadyImpreza1111]

Truse...........have you considered healing such as Reiki? I haven't really looked into it myself because I haven't needed it but maybe it would help?

[Josephine]

Hi Trucemook, its incredibly painful. Just come out of similar situation, very painful. Was lucky enough to introduced to an alternate nlp tecknique which was the only thing that took the pain away. It was given freely over the internet & am so grateful for it.
No reason, no logic, can help that pain. nlp went right in there deep. Also this archangel micheal & cord cutting thingy, might work too. I prayed so hard everyday to be released from that hell. And now I am. and this is the first 3 days I've been free. Loved Mystical's reply, this forum is great. Do something beautiful.:fish:

[trusemook]

Truse...........have you considered healing such as Reiki? I haven't really looked into it myself because I haven't needed it but maybe it would help?

Great idea. Actually I have been thinking about it. I think I'm going to look for a reputable practitioner in my area. I have been meditating quite a bit, and I can feel them opening up a little.

Hi Trucemook, its incredibly painful. Just come out of similar situation, very painful. Was lucky enough to introduced to an alternate nlp tecknique which was the only thing that took the pain away. It was given freely over the internet & am so grateful for it.
No reason, no logic, can help that pain. nlp went right in there deep. Also this archangel micheal & cord cutting thingy, might work too. I prayed so hard everyday to be released from that hell. And now I am. and this is the first 3 days I've been free. Loved Mystical's reply, this forum is great. Do something beautiful.

I haven't heard of NLP-at least in that form. I just googled it. You're right, it may help.

You're also right that Mystical's replies are beautiful, and very helpful. Thank you for so much support and good advice, Mystical. And all of you guys. I am so thankful I found this forum. Everytime I come on here, it's like a warm blanket, even if I am a whimpering mess!

I've actually had a couple of good days. I have not messaged him. I have been able to clear him from my mind-for a bit, anyway. I feel a bit more calm and centered. I have been allowing myself more time to just breathe. I often get so caught up in my own emotions, I am unable and unwilling to take a step back and look at it from other perspectives. That's why this forum has been so incredibly helpful.

I also noticed that as I pulled back, even in these last 2 days, he took notice. I feel him. And he signed into Skype and messaged me that he was looking for me. I never responded. It's amazing how that works--when you pull back, suddenly they take notice.

So, I may post in here in a few hours crying and whimpering again. Or not. But for now, I am more centered than I have been for a while. Thanks again you guys for all your love and support. I feel it, beyond the words on the screen.

[LadyImpreza1111]

Are you on Facebook at all? Steve Gunn has a facebook profile as well and if you ever contact him, he does respond and he could probably help with that as well.

I'm also on FB so if you want to add me, PM me.

[Dharma Employee]

hey me too, truse

am on fb too

I would try steve gunn, think he may be able to help, he does cost money but, does seem to know his stuff

[trusemook]

You guys are awesome. It's amazing how much a small group of "faceless strangers" can come together and relate to each other and be such a positive influence for one another. The good side of the worldwide web, I suppose. Whatever it is, I'm grateful!

Still pretty centered, as of now. Again, I am weary of what's to come. But I have a little peace as of right now.

I don't know much about Steve Gunn, but I suspect I don't have nearly enough money to ask him for help.

[LadyImpreza1111]

Indeed. I get frustrated when I don't feel like I can confide in people I'm closest too.........like my mom who has known me my whole life, yet I can talk to people on here with total ease.

[faith&love]

This all sounds terribly familiar, with the only difference that I had to hear this from a mutual friend of ours and only then received his confirmation. There'll be a time of anger, sadness and grief that fuels responses like yours. I initially had the same response as you did.. very detached and calm at first, but angry and upset as time went on.. :smile: Nothing you can do but sing it out and allow yourself to feel this.

There will be a time in your life when all you want is for him to be happy. I have come to the stage where I accept every other person in his life for as long as they give him what he needs most -- love, acceptance, respect and happiness. It no longer matters if I am the one to give him all of that, but I will fight the presence of people who won't give him this tooth and nail because he doesn't deserve anything less than the best. :smile: In time, I think you'll get to this stage as well.. that's when the relationship stops being a tug of war and starts being the genuine deal between you..

I think I have reached that stage in just straight 5 months.... :-p

[LadyImpreza1111]

There will be a time in your life when all you want is for him to be happy. I have come to the stage where I accept every other person in his life for as long as they give him what he needs most -- love, acceptance, respect and happiness. It no longer matters if I am the one to give him all of that, but I will fight the presence of people who won't give him this tooth and nail because he doesn't deserve anything less than the best. :smile: In time, I think you'll get to this stage as well.. that's when the relationship stops being a tug of war and starts being the genuine deal between you..

I got to feel that way instantly.:D