Counselling

[dee]

Has anyone been to see a counsellor before?
I am going for the first time tonight and I'm a little bit scared as I'm quite a shy person and think I will find it hard to discuss touchy subjects with a stranger..
If it's going to help un-confuse me though then I guess it is wirth a shot..?

[Silver]

I went to counseling years ago.
It was hard to find one I felt truly was on my level or wavelength and one that I could respect their behavior and what they had to tell me. It's important to realize that you are the shopper and if you are not comfortable with one, you need to keep looking.
Just a tidbit of advice for you...

[dee]

Thanks - any advice is good :)
Did you find counselling to be helpful?

[Silver]

It took me five tries before I found a counselor that I could look up to and seemed to know more than I did, lol. I wished I could have continued to see him whenI look back on that experience. My ex joined in after a while...
I was happy once I found 'the right one'. Remember: Go with your gut and instincts. If a counselor makes you unhappy, angry or outraged, I'm quite sure it's not good. I was flabberghasted at what one of them said, it was truly unbelievable. The others were just blah, didn't seem to have it on the ball.

[dee]

Okay thanks - I'll keep my fingers crossed that I click with the one I'm seeing..

[Silver]

Here's wishing you luck Dee!

[white_monarch]

I've been going to see on recently. It's been really helpful for me, and for some friends who are going. (Or school offers it free to those who need it - on a variety of subjects) If nothing else, it helps you to get to know yourself better, and to see your responses in a different light. It's been really nice, so you should be fine!

[Spiritlite]

Yes I started last month and I love it. It really has helped me to deal with my anxiety. And remember anything you say is confidential unless it pertains to certain things which your counselor should mention to you.
Spiritlite.

[pre-dawn]

Thanks - any advice is good :)
Did you find counselling to be helpful?
That depends entirely on you.

What and who the counselor is virtually immaterial. This has been shown by Prof. Gendlin who developed the Focusing method.

One could almost say the more you dislike him/her (except for being physically repelled) the better.

[Silver]

That depends entirely on you.

What and who the counselor is virtually immaterial. This has been shown by Prof. Gendlin who developed the Focusing method.

One could almost say the more you dislike him/her (except for being physically repelled) the better.

I say no way jose.

That is the trickery and treachery of 'shrink-ology.' Very very wrong, imo.

[Native spirit]

:hug: Hey Dee.


Counselling works very well, but you need to find a counsellor who suits you, because there are so many theories not everyone will work for you.
you should feel comfortable with your counsellor and dont worry about being nervous youre not on your own,



Namaste

[Spiritlite]

Yeah what Native says if you're not comfortable with that certain counselor then that person is not for you. How did it go?
Spiritlite.

[Emmalevine]

I've had counselling for quite a while and am in the process of ending. It has helped me more than I can ever express in words - it has given me back my confidence, my creativity, my belief in myself, and my desire to live. I was a very withdrawn young girl who believed I was stupid and worthless when I began counselling, now I see the creative little girl I always was and been able to intergrate her into my adult life and feel compassionate towards myself as a result. The reason is simply that my counsellor liked me, believed in me, showed me who I am inside and was always there for me without judging.

I agree with the others who say the personality and technique of the counsellor DOES matter - counsellors are human too with odd habits and traits and so one size doesn't fit all. To believe it's up to us only is extremely dangerous imo. It is natural to transfer past emotions and experiences onto counsellors and indeed to others in our lives- we all do it - but it is also up to the counsellor to work with the client on this and show the client what is happening. If the client simply feels deep down the counsellor is not right, it is usually best to move on and find someone else. It doesn't mean the counsellor was terrible, but just that different counsellors work better with different clients. It's a fact of life.

Best of luck with seeking someone right for you.

[abikisses]

I agree with others, theoretical background has to work with you. Starbuck has nailed it definitely. I am personally a practising counsellor, if you have any questions you can PM me if you want to check anything specific out.

Hope it went well for you...

Blessings
Abikisses

[star-child]

Hello Dee, I have had two years experience of counselling.

It's always good to do your research, there are so many different therapies out there so it's nice to see which one you think would benefit you. If you want to try out CBT, here is a really good website that does it free online http://www.moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
If you find it difficult to say all your feelings in the first session I would highly recommend writing them all down, even the things you feel might be insignificant. That way if the insignificant things develop into more of a problem it would be easier for you to bring them up because your counsellor will be aware of them. Remember your in control so if your not happy with your counsellor then try another.

Let us know how your first session went :)

[PrincessKLS]

Yeah I'm in counseling now but switching counselors and psych offices for personal reasons. My last one was great so that's not why I'm leaving but the first one I saw as a teen sucked and I seemed to have gotten worse after seeing him.

[tragblack]

I started that MoodGym and I love it!

It's fun.

[Uma]

I've been so disappointed with counsellors I've seen that after a number of years as a support group junkie, I've decided to become a counsellor myself. I'm already doing it for free...might as well get paid. My advice to anyone looking for a counsellor echoes some of what was said about - that you need to feel good about the personality of the person and about the theoretical tools they are using. And I would add have a critical look at their credentials too and how many years they've been practicing. Where I'm from, Ontario Canada, the government is clamping down on the whole counselling profession by bringing in regulation so that people who take a couple weekends worth of courses do not have the same credibility as someone who has studied for a couple of years! There is also a destinction between "counsellor" and "therapist" and a lot of grey areas in between.

I met a very inspiring psychoanalyst who said he now accomplishes with hypnotherapy in 13 sessions what he used to do in over a year's work with a client. There is so much to the whole mental health field and lots and lots of choices to suit everyone - but also a lot of incompetent people mixed in with the good ones. If you are a spiritual person you will want someone who is not sitting there judgmental but values and UNDERSTANDS where you're coming from, for instance.

For what it's worth, I believe a really good counsellor is someone who can be objective yet caring at the same time - who is genuinely in the business to help people, not just to watch the clock and make their $100 or $200 an hour... someone who is not just doing it by the textbook but is humble enough to admit that they don't know everything and is honoured by the experience of being admitted into somebody's private world and to learn from the experience and allow for their own self-transformation in the process.

For anyone interested, there is a wonderful new therapy based on my teacher's teachings. See: http://web.me.com/imeldamccarthy1/www.imeldamccarthy.com/Co-Creative_Coaching_-_Counselling_-_Therapy.html (http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/redir.php?link=http%3A%2F%2Fweb.me.com%2Fimeldamcc arthy1%2Fwww.imeldamccarthy.com%2FCo-Creative_Coaching_-_Counselling_-_Therapy.html)

I'm trying to get into a master's program to be able to offer counselling and I plan to use this approach (among others)...

[dee]

Thanks for all your responses :) Unfortunaltely though I cancelled.. Just didn't feel my problem was significant enough - It's really just me trying to find someone to make a decision for me when I just need to man up and make the decision on my own.. Thanks for replying, was great to hear from you all! x

[pre-dawn]

Thanks for all your responses :) Unfortunaltely though I cancelled.. Just didn't feel my problem was significant enough - It's really just me trying to find someone to make a decision for me when I just need to man up and make the decision on my own.. Thanks for replying, was great to hear from you all! x So why don't you make a decision?

It must either be a very important or very complex problem that the thought of speaking to a counselor arose. This could have been an opportunity to simplify or clarify matters.

Instead you just rationalized your decision not to go, by diminishing whatever troubles you, saying in essence "I am not important or worthy to have this resolved".

Unfortunate? Definitely!

[Sangress]

Has anyone been to see a counsellor before?
I am going for the first time tonight and I'm a little bit scared as I'm quite a shy person and think I will find it hard to discuss touchy subjects with a stranger..
If it's going to help un-confuse me though then I guess it is wirth a shot..?
I've been there, done that.

It's helpful depending who your talking to, who you are as a person and also whether talking about issues helps you or not.

For most people counseling is helpful. Two minds (one who is a pro in understanding and helping fix up other peoples problems) are better than one if you want to put situations, thoughts and feelings in order.

Since you canceled all I can say is good luck with figuring out things.

But I'll also say that it truly doesn't make you weak or incapable if you see a councilor, nor does it mean that you can't "man-up" to something.

Personally, I think that if you know you don't need a councilor, then good for you.

But if you find yourself in a worse situation and are "in over your head" with it, then I'd suggest you re-schedule.

No one would think any less of you for it.

[Emmalevine]

Thanks for all your responses :) Unfortunaltely though I cancelled.. Just didn't feel my problem was significant enough - It's really just me trying to find someone to make a decision for me when I just need to man up and make the decision on my own.. Thanks for replying, was great to hear from you all! x

No one has to do it all on their own - there's nothing 'manly' about that. Of course, at the end of the day we can only make our own decisions but it's okay to have support along the way. Even having some one to sit and listen and help us clarify our thoughts can be a massive help. I personally think it takes more courage to reach out to someone than to deal with everything alone. But good luck on your journey.

[star-child]

I met a very inspiring psychoanalyst who said he now accomplishes with hypnotherapy in 13 sessions what he used to do in over a year's work with a client.
Yes hypnotherapy is very good, I highly recommend it. For me, 6 sessions were more beneficial than a years counselling.

Thanks for all your responses :) Unfortunaltely though I cancelled.. Just didn't feel my problem was significant enough - It's really just me trying to find someone to make a decision for me when I just need to man up and make the decision on my own.. Thanks for replying, was great to hear from you all! x

I used to think my problems weren't significant enough because I was used to living with them, but that doesn't make it okay to live with them because we all deserve to be happy. The little things can turn into something big if you don't target them early on.

It's always helpful to have somewhere safe to go where you can talk about how you feel.

[pre-dawn]

People who work with Psychophony, which is based on Rudolf Steiner's ideas, aim to resolve an issue within 4 sessions maximum.
With a normal person, neurotic but not psychotic, if no change has happened within 4 sessions it will never happen (with that therapist or methodology).