I think I'm a pagan...

[kimtsan]

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I've been reading about paganism and so far I can identify and resonate with EVERYTHING that I've read so far...how paganism is about openness and spiritual freedom, and how you are responsible for your "self" and your own being, and how we are all interconnected with nature and the universe...and there are no set rules for your spiritual path. I've always been looking for a system of beliefs that I can identify with, or find other people who have similar spiritual experiences or attitudes like me...but sometimes I just felt like I didn't belong in any religion (I went through a phrase in which I was a bit cynical towards religious dogma and politics...), and I was lacking a solid sense of ground because I was always "drifting". I grew up with Buddhist and Taoist beliefs and many of them still resonate with me, still, but I am still trying to wrap my head around the idea of worship because I've always felt a bit disconnected from expressing my spirituality through rituals (specifically Buddhist rituals, like burning incense and making offerings). I don't know. I've always been questing and I do a lot of readings on various religions or spiritual concept. I've grown a lot and learned a lot--gaining many insights from the information I've absorbed and the spiritual connections I have felt...

Not too long ago I came in contact with tarot, archetypes, elemental associations, and paganism. It feels like I've been discovering an aspect of myself that I've always had, all along. I still have lots of questions and I'm still searching, but I just feel kind of comforted that what I believe in--or my personal spiritual core beliefs--has found a "home" in paganism. But because I am still searching, I am worried that: is there a wrong path for me? Am I on the right track? Because I am kind of straying from the religion or mode of spirituality I grew up with, and there's nobody to tell me or teach me what to do. My dad has always been my spiritual "master" (haha) but to be honest he makes me a little bit anxious because I feel like he doesn't approve of this "journeying all over the place in search for spiritual self"...he thinks that I am free to explore, but I am supposed to remain devout and true to the God we worship.

Gah, I don't know. So many questions.

[talking crow]

I have been "journeying all over the place" for years. (I shared about my journey here--http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=65571). I think it is wonderful that you found something that resonates with you. That feeling of finding a "home" in paganism, of recognizing your core spiritual beliefs in paganism, is wonderful! I do not know what your religious/spiritual background is, but I would not worry about anyone's approval. My issue with religions is that they are so often oppressive. Through all the different religions and spiritual belief systems that I have learned from and practiced, my understanding of God has changed...but that doesn't mean (not by a long stretch!) that I have stopped worshiping God. I don't use those words, exactly, but I am more connected now than I was when I was younger and trying to fit in to the religion of my family. I am able to have conscious contact with a higher power, and this is all thanks to my journeying. :) My journeys have only continued to open my mind and heart.

[norseman]

Kimtsan, being pagan is a state of mind.

[Jenny Crow]

It sounds like you're on a journey to discover who you really are, which, in my mind, is wonderful, good for you. Keep on searching until you know "you're home" so to speak.

Perhaps you could ask yourself some questions that may help you find the direction you're searching for, for example - the dictionary describes a pagan as a person whose religious belief is other than the main world religions - do you feel that that applies to you?

It used to mean country dweller - and in the country areas the people were very reluctant to leave behind their Pagan, polytheistic ways.

Most pagans burn incense and make some kind of offerings to their deities/gods - again, ask yourself if you would really not be comfortable doing that?

I wish you luck on your journey:smile:

[kimtsan]

I have been "journeying all over the place" for years. (I shared about my journey here--http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=65571). I think it is wonderful that you found something that resonates with you. That feeling of finding a "home" in paganism, of recognizing your core spiritual beliefs in paganism, is wonderful! I do not know what your religious/spiritual background is, but I would not worry about anyone's approval. My issue with religions is that they are so often oppressive. Through all the different religions and spiritual belief systems that I have learned from and practiced, my understanding of God has changed...but that doesn't mean (not by a long stretch!) that I have stopped worshiping God. I don't use those words, exactly, but I am more connected now than I was when I was younger and trying to fit in to the religion of my family. I am able to have conscious contact with a higher power, and this is all thanks to my journeying. :) My journeys have only continued to open my mind and heart.

I agree...religions can be very oppressive and intolerant. I just want to clarify that my father doesn't oppress me in anyway. :) He's a very understand guy. I don't think he will react violently or try to stop me if I do end up straying away from our "house religion". He has his ideals that he tries to uphold and share with me, but he won't do anything to oppress me in any way. I believe in journeying, too, although it does disorient me from time to time because of that rootlessness. I took the time to establish some of my core beliefs yesterday just so I can ground myself with what's true to me. They all sound like words taken straight out from this book on paganism I'm reading haha, which is why I think I'm very much a pagan...

[kimtsan]

It sounds like you're on a journey to discover who you really are, which, in my mind, is wonderful, good for you. Keep on searching until you know "you're home" so to speak.

Perhaps you could ask yourself some questions that may help you find the direction you're searching for, for example - the dictionary describes a pagan as a person whose religious belief is other than the main world religions - do you feel that that applies to you?

It used to mean country dweller - and in the country areas the people were very reluctant to leave behind their Pagan, polytheistic ways.

Most pagans burn incense and make some kind of offerings to their deities/gods - again, ask yourself if you would really not be comfortable doing that?

I wish you luck on your journey:smile:

I usually describe myself as spiritual, but not religious. I think each religion has its own intrigues, beauty, and wisdom--and also its share of negative stereotypes and intolerance. Paganism is a religion, but ultimately the word itself is just a label. While I resonate with many pagan beliefs and I can identify myself as a pagan that way, I wouldn't necessarily label myself as strictly pagan. I wouldn't mind calling myself a pagan, because in many ways it will probably be true...but like I said "pagan" or Christian" or "Buddhist" are all just labels. It doesn't really matter what you label yourself as...like norseman said:

Kimtsan, being pagan is a state of mind.

I think that's true to all religions or spiritual paths.

I wouldn't say I am uncomfortable burning incense or making offerings to a deity (when I typed that sentence in my first post, I realized how "universal" it is as a ritual...and actually it was quite eye-opening because in my mind I've always thought to myself that burning incense is a Buddhist thing, haha). I guess I'm just still searching for its relevancy, its meaning--like how it's meaningful to me personally and spiritually.

[talking crow]

Keep on searching, friend. :) it sounds to me like you are on your spiritual path.

[kimtsan]

Thank you for all of your encouragements. :) Sometimes I feel like I'm alone in my journey but it's great to hear that many are searching like me...I mean you know people are searching for their own path but you can't really contextualize yourself with that knowledge, you know? Thanks for all the responses. <3

[Revan]

What does it feel like to believe you are a pagan? Liberating? Exulting? A feeling of freedom to have saturated your blood's desire to return home?

[kimtsan]

What does it feel like to believe you are a pagan? Liberating? Exulting? A feeling of freedom to have saturated your blood's desire to return home?

Pretty much all that you've said...and as I continue to discover and learn about paganism, I increasingly feel like I belong...it's amazing, really. I mean my core beliefs have not changed, but I feel like the sum of my parts now have a "name", or now have a "home".

[Passionforthisearth]

It is one thing to explore various religions and take the nuggets of gold from them that resonate with your heart, but it seems a bit dangerous to choose a religion to label yourself. My reasoning for this is you will tend to start to believe what they teach just because they say it to be true and maybe miss small truths in other places because you have settled on a belief system. I even think it is dangerous to get too caught up into one teaching series (like spirit science) and believe everything a group or teacher says just because you like them.

The difference between "My beliefs tend to align with Pagan" and "I am Pagan" is the difference between trying to easily explain your beliefs to others and putting yourself in a box and even slightly inferring you are more advanced than them because you have discovered and joined people teaching "THE truth."

All these various labels just divide us. I think progress would be made if less people joined religions and more people just labeled themselves spiritual.

But that is just an opinion. Good luck!