WHAT Just Happened To Me!?

[Bella]

This is what happened,

I was emotionally charged up from a misunderstanding/disagreement going on with my boyfriend and I. I was like trying to stay as calm as possible and to not let my emotions scare me too much cause I was mainly really anxious and afraid of being back at his apt.

We left to go drive back to my house and once we got to the driveway we were not fighting we stopped that when we got into the car originally
He was trying to comfort me saying we're all human ect et

While I was sitting there not saying anything cause I felt really pathetic and really aggravated I couldn't make myself feel better ...
All I can recall from there is that I was thinking how I was afraid of how I felt I wanted to hurt myself, and was really sad about leaving Bri for the night when we didn't both want that really.

I was pondering in my head why I consistently in my life block things out, detach or just refuse to let myself understand simple emotional things when it's absolutely meccassary for me too ..

Then out of nowhere

I was still sitting

I was just starring off at what I could see of myself,

My mind like sped up so freaking fast.

I felt like I was going into a major high

I became really, really afraid

I no longer felt attached to my body, my mind, anything of me, my existence even.

I thought "I must be having an involuntary existential moment"

But it was all happening so freaking fast I got beyond terrified

All I could think then was "Holy ** **, something is causing me to open the floodgates of my mind and this is really dangerous."

Like I felt like I was out of no where 200 % awake, and I was really afraid because I felt like I'd remember something really really horrible and scary that I wouldn't want to remember, and/or that I was being PULLED from the world to somewhere else and I was SO FREAKING FREAKED it was like I DIED and was being pulled to the other side!!!

My boyfriend was so freaked out and worried he said he thought I was going to start having a sezuire or something.

I was able to throw my rationale back into my head though even though I was like incredibly elated. I couldn't even figure out how to use my mouth to explain what happened/what was going on.

It seriously freaking felt like either I was detaching from such an extreme extent .. that someone else was going to take over me

or that I was just never going to BE me ever again.

[Silver]

Wow, Bella, it sounds like you've been holding on so tight that when you finally released and relaxed, you went way in the opposite direction, but it's nothing to fear, as far as I can figure. If you were in a slightly different frame of mind, you would've probably experienced it as incredible great freedom of spirit or something. You're okay now, aren't you? I hope so.

[Bella]

I'm afraid it's going to happen again, although I can't possibly imagine when because it was literally OUT OF NOWHERE like it SNUCK up on me!.

There's no way this could of been a Kundalini awakening because I don't practice anything spiritual or anything like that, although I am naturally a very spiritually minded person when I am alone and honest with myself.

I think it might of occurred because it's been a week since I've been off my anti anxiety/depression meds, I went off them cold turkey while on 40g. I had no side effects from them but they weren't helping me at all. They only made me think my behaviour/way of thinking was acceptable when I was just not trying at all in life. I have no idea though! would you call this a panic attack ?

I felt like in the first moments I thought my mind must of been seeing things I couldn't see, or like something had instantly consumed my whole being !!!

[Bella]

Oh, yes I am fine now!

I was able to think logically once the full on bursting of my mind seemed to subside and become more of the hyperventilating/urging to cry .. knowing I wasn't actually harmed or in the least actually dead :s

[Bella]

In a sense essentially what really scared me was that out of nowhere in that moment of time I could not connect with myself in any way possible. Like I had become a stranger to my person. Like watching myself, drifting detached somewhere outside of my world/humanely perception.

[Silver]

It certainly was a sensational exerience, huh! Like an Out-of-body (oob) experience. It sounded great and scary at the same time.

The thing is, it's just another part - another slice of life. I've heard of this sort of thing happening to people before from other spiritual type forums, and so it didn't surprise me...and I must say you definitely have a great way of expressing what did happen to you. You should be a writer maybe?

[Silver]

I'm afraid it's going to happen again, although I can't possibly imagine when because it was literally OUT OF NOWHERE like it SNUCK up on me!.

There's no way this could of been a Kundalini awakening because I don't practice anything spiritual or anything like that, although I am naturally a very spiritually minded person when I am alone and honest with myself.

I think it might of occurred because it's been a week since I've been off my anti anxiety/depression meds, I went off them cold turkey while on 40g. I had no side effects from them but they weren't helping me at all. They only made me think my behaviour/way of thinking was acceptable when I was just not trying at all in life. I have no idea though! would you call this a panic attack ?

I felt like in the first moments I thought my mind must of been seeing things I couldn't see, or like something had instantly consumed my whole being !!!

It may or may not have been kundalini, but I've heard that it can happen to people who have never even heard of kundalini!

I think this kind of experience will have less likelihood of sneaking up on you like it did - now that you're fully aware that it can happen.
:smile:

[A human Being]

It may or may not have been kundalini, but I've heard that it can happen to people who have never even heard of kundalini!

I think this kind of experience will have less likelihood of sneaking up on you like it did - now that you're fully aware that it can happen.
:smile:
He doesn't actually use the word, but I'm pretty sure Eckhart Tolle had a full-blown kundalini awakening when he wasn't even remotely spiritual, didn't have a practice or anything - it can happen to you when you get a new perspective on yourself and life, which is what happened to Bella, by the sounds of it (I don't know if it was kundalini, but definitely sounds like she had some sort of awakening).

Bella - obviously coming off the meds could have something to do with it, but you also sound very self-aware, which is always liable to lead to an awakening. Try and stay open, physically - be aware of when your body contracts, because that means you're shutting down out of fear. If that happens, breathe deeply and relax, and have faith that you can bear whatever feelings arise - trust me, you can :smile:

[Belle]

I would get yourself checked by the doctors - coming off meds can have some strange effects. And also close yourself down as you don't want to be disrupted by energies of others.

[Bella]

I will make sure to tell a doctor. Im a bit worried though they may think it was a small psychotic break when it may just of been a release of a lot of emotional energy all at once. I will go see someone to get a professional opinion. I highly appreciate everyone reading the post and or replying. Make me feel a bit more sane.

[Tobi]

I can't comment on the withdrawal from medication, as I don't know. I think you might be wise to check this out with your Doc.

But on another level, we are all Spirit, coming here for an experience. Most of the time we don't step outside of the experience and take a long look back (kind of thing) we are just inside it -experiencing.
But maybe you suddenly got a 'bird's eye view' in a way -suddenly saw your actions/reactions from a spirit perspective, which would seem strange/scary to many of us who are used to living inside the personality (??) This may be a positive thing.....