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A human Being
05-02-2014, 11:24 AM
Do I win the award for longest thread title?

Reading another thread got me thinking about being the witness again, ie standing apart from the thoughts and emotions that arise in your consciousness. I used to equate standing apart (detachment, to put it another way) with denial, but it's really not, it's the opposite of that, at least in my experience - it's only when I'm detached from the emotions that I really experience them fully. Inversely, when I'm unconscious, it generates fear; when I make it conscious, the fear evaporates, just like that.

I feel like it's been done to death, but I think it needs repeating, again and again, because unconsciousness of what we're really feeling causes so many problems.

SpiritCarrier
05-02-2014, 11:30 AM
I agree that once we are conscious of a feeling/emotion it is easier to deal with. Identifying our emotions is the only way to confront them and put them to ease.

Thank you for the thought provoking post.

Peace and Light be yours,
SC

God-Like
05-02-2014, 11:38 AM
Hi H.B.

Perhaps one's attention is where it's at for a reason . Whatever is at the fore front of one's mind is the result of what one is currently aware of . The moment the subconscious energies arise they become conscious to us .. even when one is in denial they deny that very something that arises lols ..

I can relate to pastlife emotional and mental influence that gradually had a noticeable baring on my current life, the more I became conscious of the effects of such the less control I had of the process of them arising and eventually of them being resolved .

Without being conscious of them, I would not of resolved them so staying in line with the thread the unconscious energies are likened to an itch you can't scratch ... and you can't untangle anything within mind if you can't get hold of the darn thing to begin with . :D


x daz x

A human Being
05-02-2014, 11:38 AM
I agree that once we are conscious of a feeling/emotion it is easier to deal with. Identifying our emotions is the only way to confront them and put them to ease.

Thank you for the thought provoking post.

Peace and Light be yours,
SC
Nicely put, thanks :smile:

Emmalevine
05-02-2014, 03:29 PM
Identifying them but not identifying WITH them :)

Blessings

livingkarma
05-02-2014, 05:44 PM
I agree that once we are conscious of a feeling/emotion it is easier to deal with. Identifying our emotions is the only way to confront them and put them to ease.

ABSOLUTELY!
You are always aware, its just a matter of identifying the emotion & the feelings associated w/it ...
In doing so, it will provide direction to recovery by driving a person to look for information on how to process the feelings & learn how to best resolve the issue(s) ...
It is always best to educate one's self on the functions of the human brain & body to avoid confusion as well as before assuming one is experiencing a spiritual phenomenon/awakening ...
I'm always surprised when people are not able to identify "grief" ...
Humans grieve all their losses ...
Not only do they grieve the death of people, they also grieve anything that is a loss whether it is good or bad ...
Pets, relationships, anything valuable including objects ...


Wikipedia: "In psychology and philosophy, emotion is a subjective, conscious experience characterized primarily by psychophysiological expressions, biological reactions, and mental states. Emotion is often associated and considered reciprocally influential with mood, temperament, personality, disposition, and motivation ..."

What emotions look like ...
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=Emotion+Faces&FORM=RESTAB

Feelings list ...
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=feeling+list&qs=IM&form=QBIR&pq=feeling+list&sc=8-12&sp=1&sk=#a

Hope this helps! :wink:

Miss Hepburn
05-02-2014, 07:15 PM
I'll give you an award for most intriquing title.
:smile:

silent whisper
05-02-2014, 08:30 PM
Do I win the award for longest thread title?

*here is your prize*:occasion1:

Reading another thread got me thinking about being the witness again, ie standing apart from the thoughts and emotions that arise in your consciousness. I used to equate standing apart (detachment, to put it another way) with denial, but it's really not, it's the opposite of that, at least in my experience - it's only when I'm detached from the emotions that I really experience them fully. Inversely, when I'm unconscious, it generates fear; when I make it conscious, the fear evaporates, just like that.

I feel like it's been done to death, but I think it needs repeating, again and again, because unconsciousness of what we're really feeling causes so many problems.

Uhuh! everything flows in its own divine timing, so problems can become part of the process and journey as one.

Rome wasn't built in a day/Paris is the city of dreams they say.:)

livingkarma
05-02-2014, 09:04 PM
Identifying them but not identifying WITH them :)Blessings

I can identify w/each emotion & feeling, there is only good learned from it ...
I don't mince words about how I feel or what I am experiencing; its simply unproductive ...
I call what it is then get on to resolving it ...
Some people need some sort of spiritual terminology to describe & accept themself as a human being w/human emotions ...
And that's ok, they can spend as much time as they want on a mouse wheel ...
For myself, life is much easier when I don't first try to categorize everything w/being spiritual ...
The spiritual lesson for all human beings is to first learn how to be one as well as accept how it functions while working to assimilate spiritual beliefs ...

jonesboy
05-02-2014, 09:41 PM
Until you experience the Witness it is hard to understand. Everything else is just mind games trying to understand.

The Witness = Awareness

When you are Awareness as the Witness your thoughts are objects that come and go. They do not attach to you. How can a thought attach or hold any strong emotional hold on Awareness? It can't and does not.

Michael Brown does a great job of explaining this. I highly encourage everyone to read his writings or if you are ready to do The Presence Process.

How do we deal with our emotions until we reach the Witness stage?

1: We all understand that our thoughts can control our body. The opposite can be said aswell. Our body can control our thoughts.
2: The easiest way to being present in the moment is to put your awareness in your emotional body.
Think of it like this. When the mailman comes to deliver the mail and it is bad news we don't yell and scream or cry at the mailman do we? No, we don't. The same thing applies with the people in our life.

Let's setup a situation.

People are messengers. No matter what they say it is not them that we are upset with. It is what they say (The Message) and how it makes us FEEL that causes the conflict.

The trick is to pause. To rest our awareness in our body. To feel the emotions, to feel how your body reactes. This simple technique allows you to be The Witness of the emotions which are objects that come and go. It allows you to respond instead of reacting to the emotions because you know it is not the messenger that you are upset with. It is something within you that is unresolved.

How do we intergrate our emotions?

It is not to analyze our emotions. That is just more thinking and justification for our anger and hurt. The trick is to be with the emotions in your emotional body. We don't care why we are hurting or sad we just want to cradle the emotions in our emotional body like a mother to a child. Again, don't get lost in the story just be with the emotions in your body. This allows the hurt and pain to become intergrated and lose the hold it has on you.

Now I am rushed for time and I probably did a bad job of explaining this life changing work.

It is a start I hope.

silent whisper
05-02-2014, 11:04 PM
Until you experience the Witness it is hard to understand. Everything else is just mind games trying to understand.



The Witness = Awareness

When you are Awareness as the Witness your thoughts are objects come and go. They do not attach to you. How can a thought attach or hold any strong emotional hold on Awareness? It can't and does not.

Michael Brown does a great job of explaining this. I highly encourage everyone to read his writings or if you are ready to do The Presence Process.

How do we deal with our emotions until we reach the Witness stage?

1: We all understand that our thoughts can control our body. The opposite can be said aswell. Our body can control our thoughts.
2: The easiest way to being present in the moment is to put your awareness in your emotional body.
Think of it like this. When the mailman comes to deliver the mail and it is bad news we don't yell and scream or cry at the mailman do we? No, we don't. The same thing applies with the people in our life.

Let's setup a situation.

People are messengers. No matter what they say it is not them that we are upset with. It is what they say (The Message) and how it makes us FEEL that causes the conflict.

The trick is to pause. To rest our awareness in our body. To feel the emotions, to feel how your body reactes. This simple technique allows you to be The Witness of the emotions which are objects that come and go. It allows you to respond instead of reacting to the emotions because you know it is not the messenger that you are upset with. It is something within you that is unresolved.

How do we intergrate our emotions?

It is not to analyze our emotions. That is just more thinking and justification for our anger and hurt. The trick is to be with the emotions in your emotional body. We don't care why we are hurting or sad we just want to cradle the emotions in our emotional body like a mother to a child. Again, don't get lost in the story just be with the emotions in your body. This allows the hurt and pain to become intergrated and lose the hold it has on you.

Now I am rushed for time and I probably did a bad job of explaining this life changing work.

It is a start I hope.

.....................

jonesboy
06-02-2014, 01:33 AM
Let me give you some personnel examples.

I have a son who was 8 at the time. He had already broke the towel hanger on the wall a few days earlier. I had a nice little talk with him and told him not to do it again. Well, not two days later my daughter comes to me and tells me my son has now broke the towel hanger on the back of the bathroom door.

I yelled for my son and when he was right in front of me I remember this teaching. To put my awareness in my body. I felt how tense my body was, the anger of my emotions all directed at my little 8 yr old boy.

It felt like I was ready for a fight.

It changed everything.

That was my first experience of putting my awareness in my emotional body. This is something that you can do all day long. A beautiful addition is while your awareness is in you body to also be open. That's it just be open to others. Present in the moment with love and kindness, open to others.

As you get more and more present. Being in your emotional body, those emotions will flow right through you. No attachment but that of joy.

How do we deal with those emotions that we feel as pain, hurt or sadness?

We feel it in our emotional body. Non judging, not lost in the stories of the mind. We feel the emotion, be with it and cradle it with love in kindness. It is our pain, our hurt that never got resolved.

If you can be with the emotion the feeling in your body for as long as you can. Notice how the feeling will move from our heart. Sometimes it may only be minutes. I have spent hours using this dealing with hurt.

Another method is to remember the feeling of a past hurt and being with it.

You do all this with the eyes open.

no1wakesup
06-02-2014, 01:38 PM
We are unconscious of our emotions as most arise out of thinking. Some arise from intuition and are felt deeply yet in most cases are still scripted to correspond with who we think we are.

It is this predictable process of thought which we are unconsciously identified with that is the overall entanglement.

Who we think we are IS the entanglement. Your emotions are, in most cases, just another symptom

A human Being
06-02-2014, 01:59 PM
I'll give you an award for most intriquing title.
:smile:
I'll certainly take that, Miss H, when's the awards ceremony? :D

Some great responses (as always :wink: ), jonesboy in particular nails it for me - forget trying to work it out, that's just more thinking. If you want to resolve the pain, be with it absolutely and give up all doing.

I thought livingkarma made a good point about categorising things as 'spiritual' - you don't want to get attached to that whole idea, it's just another story imo. Life is as it is :smile:

Squatchit
06-02-2014, 02:20 PM
I like becoming the observer from time to time. Like you said, A human Being, at first when I practised it, I thought it made me cold/hard and unfeeling. But over the years, I've mellowed and the edges have smoothed somewhat due to much use.

Now I'm able to choose whether I want to fully immerse myself in the emotions, or be the observer, or a bit of both. A bit of the both is always interesting - and tends to make the observer laugh quite a lot!! :D

Not sure if any of the above makes sense to anyone else - but it does to me. Hee hee.

jonesboy
06-02-2014, 03:12 PM
I like becoming the observer from time to time. Like you said, A human Being, at first when I practised it, I thought it made me cold/hard and unfeeling. But over the years, I've mellowed and the edges have smoothed somewhat due to much use.

Now I'm able to choose whether I want to fully immerse myself in the emotions, or be the observer, or a bit of both. A bit of the both is always interesting - and tends to make the observer laugh quite a lot!! :D

Not sure if any of the above makes sense to anyone else - but it does to me. Hee hee.


I do and thank you :smile:

MargaritaMc
06-02-2014, 08:03 PM
Thank you AGAIN, Jonesboy! (I've just thanked you on another thread.) That was a really good explanation of the process - far better than I could have done, even if I were not rushed for time as you were.

It's a great relief and breakthrough, isn't it, when you realise that your emotions are not You but that you can be kind to them and love them better? The analogy of cuddling a small hurt child is one I've used many times: the hurt is taken seriously, but it doesn't overwhelm or take over the adult who is doing the cuddling.

Margarita
PS. This post is in response to your explanation several posts up. I hadn't noticed more posts below - I'm accessing on a Tablet and the screen is a bit small.

A human Being
07-02-2014, 10:34 AM
Thank you AGAIN, Jonesboy! (I've just thanked you on another thread.) That was a really good explanation of the process - far better than I could have done, even if I were not rushed for time as you were.

It's a great relief and breakthrough, isn't it, when you realise that your emotions are not You but that you can be kind to them and love them better? The analogy of cuddling a small hurt child is one I've used many times: the hurt is taken seriously, but it doesn't overwhelm or take over the adult who is doing the cuddling.

Margarita
PS. This post is in response to your explanation several posts up. I hadn't noticed more posts below - I'm accessing on a Tablet and the screen is a bit small.
Yeah, I like that analogy a lot. I think I abused my inner child, kept him locked in the cellar and told him to man the F up; now I've learnt to have compassion for the poor bleeder.

silent whisper
07-02-2014, 11:19 AM
Yeah, I like that analogy a lot. I think I abused my inner child, kept him locked in the cellar and told him to man the F up; now I've learnt to have compassion for the poor bleeder.

This is nice to read.

MargaritaMc
07-02-2014, 01:14 PM
Yeah, I like that analogy a lot. I think I abused my inner child, kept him locked in the cellar...

I think that this is what most/a lot of us do, especially when be begin to be interested in meditation and what might very broadly be called "spirituality". Certainly I did so myself, and I think that this was encouraged by being (then) within a religious tradition which called for regular confession of sins, followed by penance.

Now, I think that there ARE occasions when an open admission of being at fault about something is valid and helpful; but it has severe weakness as a regular habit. Fortunately, I realised this whilst I was still within the system, when it dawned on me how patently stupid it would be if one went to a medical doctor in that way! ("Oh doctor I've been such a bad person, my leg ulcer is awful again". ) One works become unwilling to admit to illness because one was so afraid of being punished for it.

Once one sees that, usually, one is not deliberately being a bad person, or even a stupid person or a misguided person - one realises that this hurt, misguided little self needs a kind framework in which to learn how to be the best "self" that it has in her/him to be.

Another image I use is that of training an animal, a dog or a horse. Beating, shouting, ignoring don't help at all. Calm firm kindness can work miracles!

Margarita

blackraven
07-02-2014, 03:00 PM
Do I win the award for longest thread title?

Reading another thread got me thinking about being the witness again, ie standing apart from the thoughts and emotions that arise in your consciousness. I used to equate standing apart (detachment, to put it another way) with denial, but it's really not, it's the opposite of that, at least in my experience - it's only when I'm detached from the emotions that I really experience them fully. Inversely, when I'm unconscious, it generates fear; when I make it conscious, the fear evaporates, just like that.

I feel like it's been done to death, but I think it needs repeating, again and again, because unconsciousness of what we're really feeling causes so many problems.

A human being – “You're never more entangled with an emotion than when you're unconscious of it.”

I didn’t read anything else but the above quote before thoughts came to my mind. I reacted strongly with distraught and anxiety when I learned I had to go to yet another large social event this year. I detest such events and I guess I always just chalk it up to social anxiety, but the question would be “why?”

When I have the confidence to look at the reasons behind the social anxiety it comes down to many deep-seated aspects of myself, mostly feeling inadequate and judged when in this type of setting. I have a feeling of being lost, lacking for words in order to make small talk and being critically looked at as an oddball. I have removed myself from social society and when forced into these kinds of situations the old high school popularity type scenario enters into the picture. Which was quite a while back so I don’t know why I’m using that as an example, but I think people can relate.

I was the quiet observer then and never learned a decent sense of judgment by sitting on the sidelines and not participating. Thus, when I went out into the world I made a lot of mistakes with other people when our paths crossed by trying to be a pleaser. It all boils down to a fear of not being liked for who I am. Perhaps there is some projection going on as well as I have grown more critical of many due to past experiences and thus I perhaps assume the feeling is mutual. I survive quite well as a loner for the most part. I don’t have to please anyone or feel judged in this state. I guess I never learned how to play the game without going overboard and getting burned. So I protect myself. Large social events bring all that ‘stuff’ to the surface and I’m flooded with emotions. So in this stint of talking I guess I became conscious of discomforts. I don’t know that being conscious makes it any easier, but talking myself through the process in understanding the ‘whys?’ allows me to untangle the emotions that surface when faced with these large social events. Each event is like starting back at square one. Some would say the more fears are faced the easier it gets. I haven’t seen that.

Blackraven

n2mec
08-02-2014, 12:04 AM
Consciousness the antidote for when emotions go awry?

I know of Lovers that say, the playing field of emotions are proportional too the depth of that Love and only the unconscious dare wade in.

Raven Poet
09-02-2014, 03:30 AM
Hi, a human being! or human bean! Love the long title!

I really went "ding" inside when I read God-like's post:

Hi H.B.

Perhaps one's attention is where it's at for a reason . Whatever is at the fore front of one's mind is the result of what one is currently aware of . The moment the subconscious energies arise they become conscious to us .. even when one is in denial they deny that very something that arises lols ..

I can relate to pastlife emotional and mental influence that gradually had a noticeable baring on my current life, the more I became conscious of the effects of such the less control I had of the process of them arising and eventually of them being resolved .

Without being conscious of them, I would not of resolved them so staying in line with the thread the unconscious energies are likened to an itch you can't scratch ... and you can't untangle anything within mind if you can't get hold of the darn thing to begin with . :D


x daz x
I recently posted a plea for some help and support with an emotion that's been my waterloo ever since my feet touched the ground it seems, and that's intense anger. I am curious about the possibility of my anger being influenced from a past life - will start to explore this. And I also related to one's attention focussed on an emotion for a reason. I continue to deal with understanding my anger more (it's such an embarrassing emotion when one is trying to be all spiritual and happy and loving ... I am poking fun at my own tendency for taking things too seriously!)

But it is so true what you said, H.B. - the only way I've ever been able to untangle some of the anger tentacles in my life was by being conscious of them. My challenge is, I tend to warp-speed to a default position of righteous anger, which is the exact opposite of consciousness. Looks like I better dust of the meditation cushion again! This has sure helped me sloooow down and look at things more closely and with less self-judgement (another tendency of mine - have I listed enough of my own issues yet? :redface: )

Raven Poet
09-02-2014, 03:38 AM
A human being – “You're never more entangled with an emotion than when you're unconscious of it.”

I didn’t read anything else but the above quote before thoughts came to my mind. I reacted strongly with distraught and anxiety when I learned I had to go to yet another large social event this year. I detest such events and I guess I always just chalk it up to social anxiety, but the question would be “why?”

When I have the confidence to look at the reasons behind the social anxiety it comes down to many deep-seated aspects of myself, mostly feeling inadequate and judged when in this type of setting. I have a feeling of being lost, lacking for words in order to make small talk and being critically looked at as an oddball. I have removed myself from social society and when forced into these kinds of situations the old high school popularity type scenario enters into the picture. Which was quite a while back so I don’t know why I’m using that as an example, but I think people can relate.

I was the quiet observer then and never learned a decent sense of judgment by sitting on the sidelines and not participating. Thus, when I went out into the world I made a lot of mistakes with other people when our paths crossed by trying to be a pleaser. It all boils down to a fear of not being liked for who I am. Perhaps there is some projection going on as well as I have grown more critical of many due to past experiences and thus I perhaps assume the feeling is mutual. I survive quite well as a loner for the most part. I don’t have to please anyone or feel judged in this state. I guess I never learned how to play the game without going overboard and getting burned. So I protect myself. Large social events bring all that ‘stuff’ to the surface and I’m flooded with emotions. So in this stint of talking I guess I became conscious of discomforts. I don’t know that being conscious makes it any easier, but talking myself through the process in understanding the ‘whys?’ allows me to untangle the emotions that surface when faced with these large social events. Each event is like starting back at square one. Some would say the more fears are faced the easier it gets. I haven’t seen that.

Blackraven
Hi, Blackraven. I don't mean to hijack a human being's post here, but I just had to respond, if I may.

I like you for who you are. The "who" you've showed us on SF is a caring, deeply sensitive in a beautifully powerful way, and gentle spirit.

I don't know if you are attempting to feel easier about your fear of social situations - but I am wondering, what would be forcing you to do so? Yes, I know we have to interact with others in this world. But I am so similar to you - I hate making small talk, I feel I am "weird" in social settings and people are looking at me like I've got horns poking out of my head sometimes, which makes me feel even less inclined to attend social functions. yet ... I bet you enjoy certain situations where the social energy isn't as intense or overwhelming. You are conscious of when you are enjoying yourself, feeling real and safe. So ... if you are suspecting that you are missing the boat on awareness for the management of emotions, please forgive me if I'm being too forward here, dear, but I think you are extremely aware. Highly sensitive people are - and it's not our fault that the world is capable of producing such overwhelming sensations that drive us nuts, like those stupid curly clothing labels on the back of the shirt that scratch at the nape of the neck.

There. You can have your thread back, human being! :wink:

blackraven
09-02-2014, 01:59 PM
Hi, Blackraven. I don't mean to hijack a human being's post here, but I just had to respond, if I may.

I like you for who you are. The "who" you've showed us on SF is a caring, deeply sensitive in a beautifully powerful way, and gentle spirit.

I don't know if you are attempting to feel easier about your fear of social situations - but I am wondering, what would be forcing you to do so? Yes, I know we have to interact with others in this world. But I am so similar to you - I hate making small talk, I feel I am "weird" in social settings and people are looking at me like I've got horns poking out of my head sometimes, which makes me feel even less inclined to attend social functions. yet ... I bet you enjoy certain situations where the social energy isn't as intense or overwhelming. You are conscious of when you are enjoying yourself, feeling real and safe. So ... if you are suspecting that you are missing the boat on awareness for the management of emotions, please forgive me if I'm being too forward here, dear, but I think you are extremely aware. Highly sensitive people are - and it's not our fault that the world is capable of producing such overwhelming sensations that drive us nuts, like those stupid curly clothing labels on the back of the shirt that scratch at the nape of the neck.

There. You can have your thread back, human being! :wink:

Raven Poet - This post by you really meant a lot to me today. I had to laugh about the scratchy shirt tags - yep that's me. I am overwhelmed with sensations in social situations, avoid large shopping stores, grocery shop on days and times when no one else is there, etc. My first response to such events is "I'm not going!" But after I think it through, and I suppose I am very aware of my inner works, I come to terms with going, but being uncomfortable. Being uncomfortable is something I'm learning to tolerate instead of always hiding out. But I don't like it. Anyway, thanks for your support and encouraging words. Again, it lifted me! :hug2:

Blackraven