View Full Version : Fear of rejection

A human Being
03-02-2014, 03:19 PM
Something Raven Poet said in another thread, about a dispute she had in the park (I'm making an assumption you're female, apologies if I'm wrong), got me thinking about rejection. She said she felt like this guy was physically pushing her away.

I don't know if it made her feel rejected, but I know it probably would have made me feel that way, it's something I've started to see very clearly about myself recently - I really fear rejection. And the way I chose to deal it was to reject everyone else before they got the chance to reject me; that way, I figured, I wouldn't get hurt. But of course I'd wind up getting even more hurt, in the long-run, because I'd isolated myself.

I think I know why I have this fear of rejection - I think it's because my dad's always been very blunt and impatient, particularly with young children, and he said something hurtful about something I'd drawn or written when I was an infant. Naturally enough I took that personally at the time, but I don't judge him for it now; I know that's just how he is, he's just a bit tactless but he's well-meaning really. It is as it is.

But the important thing, I think, is that I've made the fear conscious. All that's left to do now is to open to the fear - I've opened to it before, I know it won't hurt me (quite the opposite, in fact, I find it makes me stronger).

Anyone care to share their experiences/fears of rejection?

Mr Interesting
03-02-2014, 06:53 PM
I remember when I was 11 I was in a group of lads with a charismatic fellow who was our leader and he decided one day that one of us, not me, would be cast out and subjected to ridicule and I remember distinctly feeling it wasn't right but also that I had to go along to remain in the group. Soon enough the cast out was allowed back in and then surprise, surprise it was my turn!

I knew then and there that I would never subject another to voluntary rejection as I'd felt both sides and it wasn't nice. Involuntary rejection... that's another story altogether.

So I don't have a fear of rejection as being whatever I am has always led me on past such ditches and refrains within the building of character but what I do see within me is a need to explain myself, as if that go it alone'dness somehow has to relate back the whys and wherefores, question the self determination back to the group or individual.

I haven't got anywhere near to digging it out but do see it and just watch. It's like identity of self still trying to define the ownership of self redirecting the parameters for approval. It's funny and childish in a needy kind of way but the distance is widening each and every day.

silent whisper
03-02-2014, 07:42 PM
I don't really have a specific experience but rejection and abandonment were two of my earliest memories that laid the grass to walk on for a very long time. Overcoming those fears I basically had to be rejected, learn my own behaviour in connection to controlling both of these things and let go of the emotional and energetic binds related in the cause and affects along the way.

03-02-2014, 08:31 PM
Fear is the basis of all negative emotions. The list is to long for me to draft myself so here is the link: http://negativeemotionslist.com/

Love is the opposite of fear and here is a link to the positive emotions associated with love: http://positiveemotionslist.com/

So conquering fear itself will set me free.