avoidant personality disorder

[Maple-tree]

Hey there,
I have this thing I am struggling with at the moment. I hope it is ok that I share it here.

The first problem is that I am always tired, easily overwhelmed, and I seek a lot of time alone.
The second problem is (which started only recently) that I have difficulties feeling joy and passion for things. I do not feel reasons for creating anything, I feel no motivation. I cannot find my will power and energy to do anything usefull.
Which in time, creates the feeling that I as a person am useless. This leads to a bit of a depressed feeling.

I went to a psychologist for that and in time he started to think that I have a personality disorder, which is called 'avoidant personality disorder'.
It is basically being very shy, and scared of undertaking things.

I believe him, the description of the disorder does fit with how I am.
But.. I sort of feel a little bit that the reasons for it are different then what he knows.

I think that I feel a lot of energy, all the time. This is what makes me so tired. And because I am so tired, I avoid situations that draw a lot of energy. Like big groups of people.
I am not scared of them, but scared of the tiredness that it causes.
I love people, but avoid them because it makes me tired to be aware of their emotional energies and thought patterns etc.


The issue in all of this is that I need help, I also 'want' help. But the therapist will not understand part of my problem, and this means that he will not be able to help me.
He also wants to put me in a group, a group of people with avoidant personality disorder, but also other disorders.
He thinks it will be good for me.
But I feel it will just cause more tiredness. Because it will be many people, with many emotions and thought patterns, which will just overwhelm and tire me even more.
Also because it will be people with problems, people that are down or depressed. I dont know if that is the place for me to be.

I was wondering what other people think about this.

[Rawnrr]

I would suggest that you look for a doctor who specializes in sleeping disorders. If you are sleeping at night and still feel tired all the time, it could be a sign that you are not getting to that deep level of sleep that the body ( and subsequently the mind) requires to function fully in the world.

This lack of "proper" sleep can easily lead to depression and the general apathy you are describing.


I should add that I also have issues with crowds and their energies. It can be like claustrophobia when having to stand in grocery line-ups or other situations where I am forced to be in close proximity to people. The energy can be overwhelming.

Rawn

[WhiteWarrior]

I think your lack of joy in things could be depression related. The trouble with big groups could be social anxiety.

I am not writing off that you could be an empath and picking up other people's energy. When you are one on one with someone, can you easily feel exactly what they feel?

[Astro]

Maybe you're lacking in confidence Maple-Tree. There must be something you like, something you can draw energy from, like music or exercise.

[12meadows]

I would say that you should try the group. if your therapist suggested it, he thinks it will help and what do you have to lose? remember while you are there- or anywhere for that matter- that other peoples energy is their energy. it only becomes yours if you let it. I have read that tiredness is caused by a lack of enthusiasm about life. it makes sense. find what makes you excited! I wish you well :)