Kundalini awakening

[BurningBush]

For whatever reason, I still can't post full links, but here's this:

youtube.com/watch?v=2Xg-uMCZnL4

I had always thought of Kundalini awakening as what we are all seeking, 99.9% of us doing so without knowing it, but this video made me rethink that. Adyashanti mentioned how he had premonitions about dying at 25, which turned out to be the age that he had the realization that he describes, which was a kind of death in his eyes. I had a similar experience. When I was in college, I decided to pursue something knowing that I had little chance of obtaining what I sought. I remember thinking that I was "betting my life" on the idea that I would get what I was seeking. I didn't get it and this led to Kundalini awakening. Coincidentally, this also began at age 25 for me.

Thinking about what Adyashanti says in the video, my thought is that Kundalini is more of a fail safe against an untenable view of reality. I'm really yet to experience the bliss and whatnot - so far it's just been the bad stuff related to Kundalini awakening with intermittent ego highs, but my thought is that Kundalini awakening isn't really a good thing. Not only is it a kind of death, it's a kind of suicide in that it requires repeated willful action. When I look back on my life, even if it's only a year ago or sometimes even if it's yesterday, I see a dream. The distance from me now and my life yesterday is infinite.

Perhaps I'm only speaking for the guy that's dying, not the guy that's coming alive.

[silent whisper]

In death there is rebirth and renewal.

Are we not in a continual cycle even as we let go through these experiences.

I feel the bigger ones allow us to enter the expansive space within, what we do from then on in is to live our life with a deeper sense of awareness.

Coming out the other side of these bigger shifts, takes time to fully integrate to a place of feeling fully alive, no longer attached to the death space.

In the cycles that turn what we seek and want often transpire, but we have a deeper process to build before we reach that space, so as your circle turns full circle, you often pick up where you left off to complete once more with new awareness and a deeper sense of purpose.