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Nada
18-12-2013, 10:37 PM
Ok,

We encounter difficult co-workers all the time. You know the ones.
They come to work to create tension and to find faults on others.
They are bullies that affect others' productivities and workplace satisfaction.
They are clearly unhappy with their jobs and/or where they work.

INSTEAD of wishing them harm and/or banishing them into nothingness---
What do all of you think about blessing a workplace bully to better himself and to keep him in his life purpose? - else where

There is a workplace bully (DM) in one of my program internship places. DM is a typical bully without any interpersonal skills with Mr.know-it-all attitude. He is rude and makes unnecessary stress situations for everyone who has to work with/around him. He actually had a big 'situation' with one of my instructors several months ago with his angry ways. He seems to have a major anger control issue.

My brief encounters with him have been unpleasant to say the least with his disrespectable ways of communication and his disregard for others views.
Yesterday, I found out that he even has a self-serving intention without any regards for those he suppose to help.

But I believe that he can be re-educated through his own medicine and can help others as he should, not based on his own big human ego and narrow mindedness.

Therefore, I am asking spirits to relocate DM by January 6th 2014 to another STATE with a different employer where he can fit in better and where there are others who can teach him by slapping him with his own medicine (basically how he treats others now).
But I want him to like his new job and new place.
I also want to him to learn to empathize with those that he must help.
This means that he needs to encounter some physical pain and suffering.
This experience will be caused by his own anger and negative ways. However, he will recover from it with gaining of empathy.
Most importantly, I want to make sure that he WILL help others through his knowledge and newly gained compassion with openness, as the universe intended.

Is this a good plan to dealing with workplace bullies?
Would you create a same plan for the bullies that you know in your life?

By creating this energy flow
Am I actually influencing his life path?
OR
Am I just visualizing his destiny that is already planned for him?

WhiteWarrior
18-12-2013, 10:45 PM
My line of thought for bullies of all kinds, I am not unhappy to say, is more along the heartfelt wish 'May he get what he deserves.' Compassion should lie more with the victims than with the offenders. How they like it when justice or karma arrives at their door is not going to have any weight on my conscience.

love9
18-12-2013, 11:36 PM
Hey Nada, that is quite a challenge you're dealing with.

First, I would think that your bully need Education. If he is a bully means that somewhere along his growing up, that was one way for him to hold and maintain his ground on others. Now working with co-workers, this shouldn't be tolerate because, it could lead to accident or other things depending on the Industry you're in.

If your company cannot offer him Education, you should have Human Resource that are trained to deal with this behaviour. If you don't have that, well then, if you are his supervisor, you will have to confront him with the consideration of security in the workplace.

I like the way you want to support him even though his demeanour, it great of you, and I feel sure that with all the comments that you will received, it will give you input on how to handle this daring situation.

The best to you!

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/images/smilies/hug3.gif

Nada
19-12-2013, 12:06 AM
My line of thought for bullies of all kinds, I am not unhappy to say, is more along the heartfelt wish 'May he get what he deserves.' Compassion should lie more with the victims than with the offenders. How they like it when justice or karma arrives at their door is not going to have any weight on my conscience.

But by wishing "may he get what he deserves', are we not still creating an energy flow based on our intension?

So, if we are creating an energy flow, it should be positive to achieve our purpose but to benefit the bully so he continues to grow.
Just my opinion.

Nada
19-12-2013, 12:16 AM
Hey Nada, that is quite a challenge you're dealing with.

First, I would think that your bully need Education. If he is a bully means that somewhere along his growing up, that was one way for him to hold and maintain his ground on others. Now working with co-workers, this shouldn't be tolerate because, it could lead to accident or other things depending on the Industry you're in.

If your company cannot offer him Education, you should have Human Resource that are trained to deal with this behaviour. If you don't have that, well then, if you are his supervisor, you will have to confront him with the consideration of security in the workplace.

I like the way you want to support him even though his demeanour, it great of you, and I feel sure that with all the comments that you will received, it will give you input on how to handle this daring situation.

The best to you!

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/images/smilies/hug3.gif

He needs an education through a life lesson, for sure.
He is a grown man with specific skills that are valuable.

In most highly skilled industries, it is typical for others to 'tolerate' bullies with specific skills and trainings because they are valuable.
Although he holds a mgt position in the location, I do not work with him directly and I can stay away from his area. His office is at the other end of the place as well.

Luckily, in the same location, I work closely with and under others who are absolutely wonderful to work with. - Not to mention some of these people are my soul friends.

So, he should go else where. - some place where he can be happier. :D

silent whisper
19-12-2013, 01:42 AM
Ok,

We encounter difficult co-workers all the time. You know the ones.
They come to work to create tension and to find faults on others.
They are bullies that affect others' productivities and workplace satisfaction.
They are clearly unhappy with their jobs and/or where they work.

INSTEAD of wishing them harm and/or banishing them into nothingness---
What do all of you think about blessing a workplace bully to better himself and to keep him in his life purpose? - else where

There is a workplace bully (DM) in one of my program internship places. DM is a typical bully without any interpersonal skills with Mr.know-it-all attitude. He is rude and makes unnecessary stress situations for everyone who has to work with/around him. He actually had a big 'situation' with one of my instructors several months ago with his angry ways. He seems to have a major anger control issue.

My brief encounters with him have been unpleasant to say the least with his disrespectable ways of communication and his disregard for others views.
Yesterday, I found out that he even has a self-serving intention without any regards for those he suppose to help.

But I believe that he can be re-educated through his own medicine and can help others as he should, not based on his own big human ego and narrow mindedness.

Therefore, I am asking spirits to relocate DM by January 6th 2014 to another STATE with a different employer where he can fit in better and where there are others who can teach him by slapping him with his own medicine (basically how he treats others now).
But I want him to like his new job and new place.
I also want to him to learn to empathize with those that he must help.
This means that he needs to encounter some physical pain and suffering.
This experience will be caused by his own anger and negative ways. However, he will recover from it with gaining of empathy.
Most importantly, I want to make sure that he WILL help others through his knowledge and newly gained compassion with openness, as the universe intended.

Is this a good plan to dealing with workplace bullies?
Would you create a same plan for the bullies that you know in your life?

By creating this energy flow
Am I actually influencing his life path?
OR
Am I just visualizing his destiny that is already planned for him?

I would follow my own plan and let him follow his...:)

Mayflow
19-12-2013, 01:45 AM
It is kind hearted and decent of you to wish this in this way Nada. This is good for yourself to feel like this - although not too sure about the wishing for this on a certain date in another state.

There are obviously to me, real psychological problems with anyone who would be a fault finding bully, and they hurt themselves much more than they can hurt others who actually have internal strength and internal confidence and self love. Of course, it is only decent to wish them to grow out of this for their own self good, but well Tigers do not change their stripes very easily.

Karma will do her thing in her own good time.

Oooh, now I think about it, there is something so special that I love about dear Karma. Radical self confidence and infinite patience! AND of course, no fault finding or bullying.

Kaere
19-12-2013, 02:27 AM
Nada, I'm going along with silent whisper on this one. If you re-read what you've written... it's coming across as all "I want, I want, I want". You're wanting to change his life and behaviour so that it suits you better...

You may not agree, but it might be worth it to consider a different tactic. You can learn to live with it, you can learn the art of gentle confrontation, you can learn how to change yourself to deal with him better, etc.

He's got his experiences to go through, this is very true. He'll get there, maybe he's meant to get there exactly where he is... I don't feel it's up to us to decide what's best for other grown adults and their paths.

Nada
19-12-2013, 02:37 AM
It is kind hearted and decent of you to wish this in this way Nada. This is good for yourself to feel like this - although not too sure about the wishing for this on a certain date in another state.
.
Because after that date, I am going back to that same place for my regular rotation. So, that date will serve me perfectly. :D

Nada
19-12-2013, 02:53 AM
Nada, I'm going along with silent whisper on this one. If you re-read what you've written... it's coming across as all "I want, I want, I want". You're wanting to change his life and behaviour so that it suits you better...
Well.. yeah.
It's coming across that way BECAUSE that is what "I want". :D
But it suits me and everyone else in that place.

You may not agree, but it might be worth it to consider a different tactic. You can learn to live with it, you can learn the art of gentle confrontation, you can learn how to change yourself to deal with him better, etc.
No, he needs to learn it through the life experience and through his karma. It will not come from me.
I am going to keep my energy space protected and continue to blow his energy from my space. I will be keeping my physical distance and I will not have any conversation with him.
I am there to learn and to help others. I am busy when I am there. I do not have any more energy or time to waste on such ugly man.
There is absolutely zero reason for me to interact with him.

He's got his experiences to go through, this is very true. He'll get there, maybe he's meant to get there exactly where he is... I don't feel it's up to us to decide what's best for other grown adults and their paths.
Some people need kick in the butt. :D
The rightful karmic soul will deliver that big kick.
Others have already been creating the same energy flow for DM well before I felt the same urge yesterday. :D - Except others' wish for DM is not as positive as mine.

There are bigger energy than mine that will put everything in rightful places.

Nada
19-12-2013, 03:05 AM
I agree that the bully needs to follow his own path.

With that, I decided to place him in the space of indifference.
At that space, he will not even get my pity.
Whatever happens to him now, it will be his own doing and he owns it.

Nonetheless, I see him moving soon to a different state.

Mayflow
19-12-2013, 03:06 AM
Because after that date, I am going back to that same place for my regular rotation. So, that date will serve me perfectly. :D

Understandable, some people are irritating to be around, not always because of how they treat you, but how they treat others too.

If you can just do your things there with the good people that are there, that seems best, but well you know me, if you decide to be a rebel, you may do as you do. The thing most important is to follow your own heart no matter what others may say or do.

I figure you are doing that. It is not always easy but from uneasy we also grow.

Nada
19-12-2013, 03:19 AM
Understandable, some people are irritating to be around, not always because of how they treat you, but how they treat others too.

If you can just do your things there with the good people that are there, that seems best, but well you know me, if you decide to be a rebel, you may do as you do. The thing most important is to follow your own heart no matter what others may say or do.

I figure you are doing that. It is not always easy but from uneasy we also grow.

Thanks!!!! :hug3:

silent whisper
19-12-2013, 03:31 AM
Sometimes we can take on more than we need too when others lead in this way. Its easy to get entangled so sorting your own space out is probably the best way.

Nada
19-12-2013, 05:05 AM
Sometimes we can take on more than we need too when others lead in this way. Its easy to get entangled so sorting your own space out is probably the best way.
Yep. I am entangling out.
Indifference and detachment space is where I placed his energy and him.

Mayflow
19-12-2013, 11:47 AM
Yep. I am entangling out.
Indifference and detachment space is where I placed his energy and him.


For the most part, that is probably the best space. Bullies always have psychologically screwed up minds or they wouldn't be bullies.

I remember this was this one bully like that where I work, although he may have had a tender and decent side too. One day he and some of us were just chatting a little and he was doing some bragging and this one Mexican Lady who we all pretty much thought the world of told him he should get a psychiatrist (btw, this was one fiery lady). He said he already had one, she said he should fire that one and get a new one. Everybody laughed and he shut up.

Eventually that guy got fired. This is something I have seen a few times, where eventually these bullies do enough stupid things to get themselves fired.

For the bully, I do feel sympathy, but it is up to them to dig themselves out of these holes they they themselves have been digging.

Better known as Jo
19-12-2013, 04:26 PM
I did that about two years ago with a female co-worker. Negative, suspicious energy flowed around her like a steel ball and everyone she had contact with was miserable. I sensed this immediately and at first kept my distance.

That lasted for a couple of weeks until she wanted to hang out with me during lunch. She wanted to complain about the people we worked with and how much she hated her job and life in general. I started visualizing her happy and laughing and embracing joy...a couple of time during the day.

Also, during our talks I would ask her why people bothered her so much and what would make her happy. Pretty easy to do. That opened her up to tell me about past abuse from her father which led to her realizing she needed to deal with her feelings instead of lashing out at people.

A few months had past with marked improvement and she quit that job and started beauty school, her dream, and now is happier and making great strides.

Just a note here...most people aren't bullies because of their own making and must live a life of perpetual ** because they hurt others. NO!! I know this woman had a path she had to go on but who are we as people just to ignore their pain and let it continue? Hasn't it ever crossed your minds that they come across you for a reason? Not to make you miserable but to open your eyes to their pain and offer a positive thought, if that's all you can handle, their way???

I know people can be extremely difficult and my first inclination has been to avoid them like the plague. But when I see and feel that someone is hurting, and if I can handle it, I try to get to the bottom of what is REALLY bothering them because we all know it's not the weather, it's not traffic, it's not the phone...but something much deeper.

We all have positive energy we can share with others without depleting our own. Protect yourself before extending yourself but ignoring someones pain???? I am just shocked by the responses here.

linen53
20-12-2013, 04:35 PM
Nada, I have enjoyed this thread, lol. Seeing the broad perspective here I see this bully has taught you a lot. You brought this dilemma here and received many opinions. You are the wiser one.:wink:

Nada
20-12-2013, 11:48 PM
I did that about two years ago with a female co-worker. Negative, suspicious energy flowed around her like a steel ball and everyone she had contact with was miserable. I sensed this immediately and at first kept my distance.

That lasted for a couple of weeks until she wanted to hang out with me during lunch. She wanted to complain about the people we worked with and how much she hated her job and life in general. I started visualizing her happy and laughing and embracing joy...a couple of time during the day.

Also, during our talks I would ask her why people bothered her so much and what would make her happy. Pretty easy to do. That opened her up to tell me about past abuse from her father which led to her realizing she needed to deal with her feelings instead of lashing out at people.

A few months had past with marked improvement and she quit that job and started beauty school, her dream, and now is happier and making great strides.

Just a note here...most people aren't bullies because of their own making and must live a life of perpetual ** because they hurt others. NO!! I know this woman had a path she had to go on but who are we as people just to ignore their pain and let it continue? Hasn't it ever crossed your minds that they come across you for a reason? Not to make you miserable but to open your eyes to their pain and offer a positive thought, if that's all you can handle, their way???

I know people can be extremely difficult and my first inclination has been to avoid them like the plague. But when I see and feel that someone is hurting, and if I can handle it, I try to get to the bottom of what is REALLY bothering them because we all know it's not the weather, it's not traffic, it's not the phone...but something much deeper.

We all have positive energy we can share with others without depleting our own. Protect yourself before extending yourself but ignoring someones pain???? I am just shocked by the responses here.

I have zero intention what so ever to physically interacting with him. I avoid that kind of potential co-dependent situation.
This is a man in his 50's or even 60's who seems bitter and jaded because he still needs to be practicing his skill under other's supervision, not independently. I actually have seen this kind of "little man ego trippins" in this profession. So, they like to bully others around them that they can get away with that kind of behaviors.

Everyone else in that location is super wonderful to work with, especially those who I work directly with and those that I share the office space with.

Mayflow
21-12-2013, 12:00 AM
I have zero intention what so ever to physically interacting with him. I avoid that kind of potential co-dependent situation.
This is a man in his 50's or even 60's who seems bitter and jaded because he still needs to be practicing his skill under other's supervision, not independently. I actually have seen this kind of "little man ego trippins" in this profession. So, they like to bully others around them that they can get away with that kind of behaviors.

Everyone else in that location is super wonderful to work with, especially those who I work directly with and those that I share the office space with.

Well, if everyone else is super wonderful, I would think you would concentrate on them and not him.

Nada
21-12-2013, 12:15 AM
Nada, I have enjoyed this thread, lol. Seeing the broad perspective here I see this bully has taught you a lot. You brought this dilemma here and received many opinions. You are the wiser one.:wink:

Actually, I had learned the lesson through other past situations.

In the past, when I encountered co-workers like this, I would get rid of them by collaborating with others (since others feel the same pain) and by working with their managers.

However, it creates a karma - basically inbalance of energy flow and later, I would indirectly/directly have to deal with a similar energy flow in other situations.

"What goes around, comes around"
So, I learned. :D

Therefore, I would just keep myself out of it, this time around. :D
Although I share the situation on this forum and with others who already told me about him, I will not take it any farther.
..Nonetheless, it is so tempting...... :D

silent whisper
21-12-2013, 12:17 AM
The little big guys with little big spaces, often reveal how we feel and interact in the world one with them, great teachers of the nature of being and managing yourself.

Mayflow
21-12-2013, 12:33 AM
The little big guys with little big spaces, often reveal how we feel and interact in the world one with them, great teachers of the nature of being and managing yourself.


Well a number 2 petty tyrant can actually help us to self teach and grow wihtin ourselves.


2. Teensy-weensy Petty tyrants/Small-Fry Petty Tyrants: tormentors who are just frustrating, exasperating and annoy to distraction.

Many people fall victim to the Petty Tyrants of the world and being defeated by one means a loss of one's vital energies. The Seer Don Juan explained to Castaneda that it was the task of Warriors to learn to face these Petty Tyrants with temperance and to prevail against their torments. Dealing with Petty Tyrants called for four qualities of warriorship: control, discipline, forbearance and timing. Whereas to be defeated meant to act in anger, and potentially join the ranks of the Petty Tyrants.

http://glossary.cassiopaea.com/glossary.php?id=587

Sorcerer warriorship - Nada is growing.

silent whisper
21-12-2013, 12:37 AM
Well a number 2 petty tyrant can actually help us to self teach and grow wihtin ourselves.

NUmbers don't affect me as much as those tyrants..but if I embrace my own it shouldn't bother me so much,, so yes .:wink:


2. Teensy-weensy Petty tyrants/Small-Fry Petty Tyrants: tormentors who are just frustrating, exasperating and annoy to distraction.

Many people fall victim to the Petty Tyrants of the world and being defeated by one means a loss of one's vital energies. The Seer Don Juan explained to Castaneda that it was the task of Warriors to learn to face these Petty Tyrants with temperance and to prevail against their torments. Dealing with Petty Tyrants called for four qualities of warriorship: control, discipline, forbearance and timing. Whereas to be defeated meant to act in anger, and potentially join the ranks of the Petty Tyrants.

me likes that...

http://glossary.cassiopaea.com/glossary.php?id=587

Sorcerer warriorship - Nada is growing.

:smile: :smile: :smile:

Nada
21-12-2013, 03:56 AM
Well, if everyone else is super wonderful, I would think you would concentrate on them and not him.

Oh I agree totally.
I am destined to be with some of them and to be in that location for my final internship.
One person that I share an office space along with my mentor is a person that I actually met and interviewed 3 years ago during my first semester rotation at a completely different site.

He (I call him Dr.D) gave me a great advice and shared his life/professional experiences that made a big impact on me when we first met. Our first meeting was also an extraordinary setting for both of us as well.

As going into my final internship, we meet again at this other site and will be working in the same office at least one day per each week.
When I reminded him that we met 3 years ago, he immediately told me joyfully with a big smile that we have a karma. :D
It is very clear that we share a soul connection.
He is there to help me through this program, along with my mentor.

I feel bless to have them around and I also feel guided by the universe.
It was an amazing 'aha' moment when I saw Dr. D again at this location .
Then I knew... I was supposed to be there.

So, the Teensy-weensy Petty tyrants/Small-Fry Petty Tyrants is not my focus at all. :wink:
BTW, I love that term. :D

IsleWalker
21-12-2013, 04:10 AM
We recognize in others what we ourselves possess.

Nada
21-12-2013, 04:17 AM
We recognize in others what we ourselves possess.

We also recognize in others what we do not possess.