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dodecagonagon
18-10-2013, 05:27 PM
Hello :) I'm new to this forum site and I hope to meet some interesting folks/learn some new things!

I'm half Native American, my father was full blood native (although he wasn't traditional nor did he live on any reservations or anything. His mother [my grandmother] was traditional, though. I guess my dad just wasn't interested in his culture so he left it behind.) However, my dad left my mom and I when I was quite young, and I never met any native relatives. But to show me where I came from and who I was, my mother used to take me to powwows and other festivals/celebrations when I was younger. She wanted to keep that half of me alive as best she could, even though she wasn't native herself. I have very fond memories of receiving a spirit feather from an elderly native woman with very kind ancient eyes (I have it hanging in my room still), and I remember she wrapped her shawl around me and sent me out to dance around a fire with another man while he chanted something. I also received a necklace with the Thunderbird on it, and a dream catcher she made for me out of bone, twine, and pretty small pebbles. I was only about 6 or 7 though (I really miss her. I don't know her name, but for some reason I feel as though she's still alive even though she was quite old when I first met her). I stopped going to powwows once school started (since most powwows were about 3 hours away from my town) and soon forgot/ignored half of who I am, which I regret. It's been about 10 years now, I'm 17 and recently I've become very interested in my people and their culture again. I find them to be beautiful and fascinating, and very connected with everything around them (I always found them beautiful, though. There was never a time where I wasn't proud of my heritage. I just wish I could've experienced more of it growing up with the guidance of my grandmother).

What really struck me a few days ago though, was a short video a young lady in my class at school showed me. It was very powerful to me... and I can't really describe it. I feel almost foolish that it hit me in the way that it did, but it definitely changed something within me. The video was just a collage of pictures/paintings/drawings of native people while a song in the background played, but the video left me in such awe. Because growing up, my classmates always teased/bullied me for how I looked and shouted racist remarks at me (and often confused me for being Asian for my almond eyes). But this video showed men and women who looked like me for once, with the same eyes and cheekbones and facial structure in general. Same dark hair and eyes. I felt like I had a sense of belonging?? If that makes any sense. They all looked so proud and fierce, it gave me goosebumps. And I started to really listen to the song that was playing, and it definitely rang many bells for me and I was flooded with memories of going to tribal ceremonies when I was younger. They were memories I had forgotten, unfortunately. And as I was sitting there absorbing all of this, I could feel my heart beat speed up and I could feel the blood course through my veins and I just felt very alive. It brought a few tears to my eyes, actually. I just felt as if something in me wanted to come out, and I thanked that woman personally for showing us that video/song.

Anyways, I've been researching a lot on Native American culture and our history (I want to know more than the tragedies portrayed in most history textbooks at my school) and I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions to any good books? Or if I could speak to you and maybe you could enlighten my life to the half of me who was never fully embraced :) I'm very interested in the spiritual beliefs of the Natives, but from what I've seen on this forum and other places online, they're very protective of their beliefs and don't often share them. I can understand why, so I don't wish to be forceful or disrespectful in anyway. But I'm just very curious, and it seems like something I would like to pursue (although I've only seen minor glimpses into the spiritual ways/customs). I have no one in my life currently who I can ask questions, because all I have is my grandmother's first name and not her last (I wish I knew her tribal/nickname too). So I can't find her anywhere, nor can I locate my dad. But if anyone had any information they would be willing to share from personal experiences or if they could point me in the right direction (because I have so many questions) I would be very grateful! I hope you all have a lovely day :)

WhiteWarrior
18-10-2013, 05:42 PM
Hi, and welcome to the forum. I am extremely interested in hearing what tribe you hail to, if you are willing to tell.

dodecagonagon
18-10-2013, 06:14 PM
Hi, and welcome to the forum. I am extremely interested in hearing what tribe you hail to, if you are willing to tell.
I'm not entirely sure because I constantly get mixed answers from my mom. I live in Florida, but my grandmother wasn't from here so that doesn't make me Seminole or any other tribes in this area (I'm not sure where my grandpa came from). I believe she was born in South Carolina, but since I have never had any contact with her I can't fully confirm that. But based on maps that I've seen, I think that would make her Cherokee unless she was in one of the smaller tribes in that area. But then again, I don't know if her parents came from South Carolina either. I'm at a giant loss of family background information which is upsetting. :(

WhiteWarrior
18-10-2013, 06:48 PM
As I have never lived in the US I must be cautious about giving you advice regarding how to research your family lines, so I will leave that to others. But your looks and your upbringing should be sufficient to connect you spiritually with your heritage, no matter which of South Carolina's near 40 tribes you are closest too. Although each tribe has its own individual heritage there is a vast common ground of culture they share with all the others throughout North America.

I am not entirely sure where to direct you, as there are a whole lot more people writing about this topic than there ever were Native Indians - a result of the modern world's way of mixing and diluting blood over vast distances and people groups. With 16 grand-grand-grand-parents it is now possible to have in a single man or woman relations to all the continents and skin colors at once. And yet be just another guy on the bus. And some of the best educated people on the customs of a tribe or a city, might not come from there at all. To top it off, you might live your entire life in a place and not once feel you belong there because you look different from the others. So where do a guy belong? The truth is literally in your heart.... where you FEEL you belong. Spiritually your bloodline might not even mean much, because we are often not reborn into the same place or even culture where we spent our previous life. But I can read from your first post that for you, this has suddenly become clear to you again. You hear the call and you know where it comes from.

I believe that your first source to start reading from should be from the tribes and the Nations' own websites. What you will find is indeed filtered by the elders; some things will not be told you other than face to with the tribal elders by the fireside, if they think the time is right. Be wary of just reading random articles online, as there are many who read stuff one place and then write a whole lot more without even once meet someone who has even visited a reservation. The Native Indian culture is both highly treasured, and considered a commodity to buy and sell by some. Check your sources before you take them too seriously.

Here is one you might get something from: http://www.cherokee.org/Home.aspx

dodecagonagon
18-10-2013, 07:19 PM
As I have never lived in the US I must be cautious about giving you advice regarding how to research your family lines, so I will leave that to others. But your looks and your upbringing should be sufficient to connect you spiritually with your heritage, no matter which of South Carolina's near 40 tribes you are closest too. Although each tribe has its own individual heritage there is a vast common ground of culture they share with all the others throughout North America.

I am not entirely sure where to direct you, as there are a whole lot more people writing about this topic than there ever were Native Indians - a result of the modern world's way of mixing and diluting blood over vast distances and people groups. With 16 grand-grand-grand-parents it is now possible to have in a single man or woman relations to all the continents and skin colors at once. And yet be just another guy on the bus. And some of the best educated people on the customs of a tribe or a city, might not come from there at all. To top it off, you might live your entire life in a place and not once feel you belong there because you look different from the others. So where do a guy belong? The truth is literally in your heart.... where you FEEL you belong. Spiritually your bloodline might not even mean much, because we are often not reborn into the same place or even culture where we spent our previous life. But I can read from your first post that for you, this has suddenly become clear to you again. You hear the call and you know where it comes from.

I believe that your first source to start reading from should be from the tribes and the Nations' own websites. What you will find is indeed filtered by the elders; some things will not be told you other than face to with the tribal elders by the fireside, if they think the time is right. Be wary of just reading random articles online, as there are many who read stuff one place and then write a whole lot more without even once meet someone who has even visited a reservation. The Native Indian culture is both highly treasured, and considered a commodity to buy and sell by some. Check your sources before you take them too seriously.

Thank you, I really appreciate the help :) That site is very informational and has given me some more insight. I want to try to go to some more powwows and festivals local to my area. Although there are mostly just Seminole and other tribes down here, I might be able to gain a general understanding. Unless each tribe is completely different from each other (but you said they have a common ground at least). But I just want to dive back into that culture somehow.

WhiteWarrior
18-10-2013, 07:28 PM
Once you have at least ten posts on this forum you will get access to the chat. I would find it quite interesting if you would let me attempt to help you connect with your spirit guides in a chat session.

dodecagonagon
18-10-2013, 08:14 PM
Once you have at least ten posts on this forum you will get access to the chat. I would find it quite interesting if you would let me attempt to help you connect with your spirit guides in a chat session.Sounds good to me, thank you again!

running
18-10-2013, 11:21 PM
Perhaps if you ask your dreams they will tell you. I'm not native american at all. I believe we live many lives. Cause for a couple years and 80 to 90 % of my healing process was going through memories of being so. How ridiculous I felt at times. But I just kept plugging into the memory bank because it healed me. Now today the memory bank seems miles away. Perhaps its purpose is done for right now. My dreams gave me many answers. Not all at once. Not always when I wanted. And not all of them. But none the less they did come through. And are my best teachers. I wish you luck!

dodecagonagon
19-10-2013, 03:58 PM
Perhaps if you ask your dreams they will tell you. I'm not native american at all. I believe we live many lives. Cause for a couple years and 80 to 90 % of my healing process was going through memories of being so. How ridiculous I felt at times. But I just kept plugging into the memory bank because it healed me. Now today the memory bank seems miles away. Perhaps its purpose is done for right now. My dreams gave me many answers. Not all at once. Not always when I wanted. And not all of them. But none the less they did come through. And are my best teachers. I wish you luck!
That would be an interesting approach and perhaps my dreams could tell me, but my dreams are always irrelevant and random. I've never been able to lucid dream, so I can't control what I dream about. The only dream I've ever had that was interesting was a reoccurring one I had, and then it went away for a bit, but came back and it was the same dream but just seen from a different angle. It didn't have anything to do with Native Americans, though. Thank you for the suggestion though :)

Raven Poet
20-10-2013, 05:02 AM
Hi, dodecagonagon. Welcome to SF! And welcome home to your ancestry! That is always a lovely feeling, isn't it?

I am sorry, I don't know where you come from/who your peoples are. But here's a few authors I would suggest for starters:
Ward Churchill, Vine Deloria Jr., Paula Gunn Allen, Sherman Alexie, Russell Means, and Leslie Marmon Silko. These are Native American authors. But as the Canadian/US border was not in place before colonization, much of the cultures in Canada today and the US today were shared. So a few Canadian Indigenous writers I would suggest are: Emma LaRoque, Richard Wagamese (his fiction is FABULOUS! especially "Keeper N Me") Joseph Boyden, and Drew Hayden Taylor (he writes the most hilarious political satire that I know of!)

Reading is always fabulous for learning, but I would also suggest that you start finding a way to go to ceremonies. Including Powwows. There is an invisible network going on - you go to one ceremony and then you get connections to three others, and so on.

One of the reasons some knowledge keepers and Elders are protective of the sacred teachings is they have been exploited. I have heard stories of non-Indigenous peoples getting the teachings and then going off and passing them off for money. This is not what the teachings are meant for - they are meant for healing and growth and building peace in the world, not for certain individuals to gain financially while so many Indigenous people starve in third-world conditions. The more you keep showing up at ceremonies and gatherings, and you offer to help (this demonstrates your humble willingness to learn and receive), the more opportunities you will have to connect to helpers who will share gladly with you, if they see your good heart.

Try to find out who you people are/were. I strongly believe in blood memory, and when I found what specific "nations" I belong to (Ojibwe and Cree are in my blood), and heard the language, I swear I felt like I had come home.

You are young, you have energy, you have the urge - go for it! I am so glad for you! From your Anishinaabe "auntie" in Canada

Seekerofsolace
02-11-2013, 07:37 PM
Welcome dodeca! I have Cherokee relatives, and it is hard to track them down sometimes, because not so long ago Indians couldn't own land, so many hid or forgot their heritage so they would not be ostracized. I recommend a bit of legwork in the form of genealogy. You may not know your grandparents' last name, but you may be able to find it via your father's birth certificate. If you can find out what county he was born in, you might be able to go to the vital records and statistics office there and get a copy of it. It should tell you the name of his mother and father. Once you have that, you can research where his parents were married and find their marriage certificate. Ancestry.com has a forum on there that people use to discuss their relatives, and you may be able to get some answers there.
Learning Indian traditions I find is difficult because they are highly treasured as posted above, and there are very many different traditions. They are not all the same, and not all are very open. The Cherokee are very friendly and most I found are happy to share information. There are 2 Cherokee reservations I know of, the Eastern Band which is in Cherokee, NC and Tallequah which is in OK. Many people in the United States have Indian blood in them I am finding and it is nice because the People survive through us! Maybe your blood is speaking to you as I feel mine is.

elisi
02-06-2014, 04:46 PM
there are more tsalagi (cherokee) in the south than other nations. good chance that's what you are.

good books by robert conley, a cherokee. about culture and tradition.

there is also a small group of organized cherokee in arizona.

they were everywhere though-my grandmother was born in medicine hat, alberta. we get around. lol

as seekerofsolace says, it's hard to track native heritage because, like my father even, didn't even have a birth certificate. and some names were changed.