The "Two Cats, Butt Scratch" theory of life

[Trieah]

As mentioned in Evaah's live streaming session today, I'm gonna post one of my interesting little analogies on life, simply for the reading pleasure of anyone who wishes to get a little something out of it. And maybe even give Dave a little encouragement to start opening up more and sharing some of his thoughts and concepts (hint hint wink wink)

Hope y'all enjoy this.

This theory of mine got its start many years ago when I was so heavily into posting funny little ranting tangents, goofball stories, or something touching and inspirational, just to brighten the day of all my online friends. And it would work too :D I used to get so many comments from my friends about how I'd just made their day.

And even though I was actually creating all the joy I had hope to share, something was kind of bothering me just a little bit. Sure, I had lots of people telling me how they had either gotten a huge kick out of it, or how it touched their heart. But it kind of bothered me just a bit on how I could have several hundred people reading all of my posts, yet it was such a smaller portion of people expressing their joy of how it made them feel.

Then one day, I came home after a long drive from work and headed straight to the bathroom as usual. And as usual, my two cats would follow me into the bathroom, cause they knew I'd be stuck in one place for a while and they never wanted to waste the opportunity of holding me captive by begging for butt scratches.

My little girl cat would always get so into it, that she was always like "Ooooo pppppuuuuurrrrrr ppppuuuuurrrrrrr ppppppuuuurrrrrrr!!! Scratch my butt mommy!!!!! I love you I love you I love you!!!!! Scratch my butt!!!"

There was never a doubt in my mind that my little bitty jitty kitty loved me so much when I gave her a good butt scratching. But now my boy kitty, he was another story.

Oh sure, he loved to get his butt scratched every bit as much as his sister. But darned if he would ever let me know that. Little brat would absolutely refuse to give me even the faintest purr. He's attitude was more "You! Human! Bow down and appease your master with butt scratches!" And after he had his fill, he'd get up an just walk away.

Well, this particular day filled with fun and exciting butt scratches for all, I had been dwelling a little too much on why most of my friends would keep reading all my post, but just walk away without saying anything. And then it just hit me!

In a certain respect, my friends were just like my two cats and their obsessive craving for butt scratches. While some of my friends were so grateful for the joy I had brought to them, and actually let me know how grateful they were, it didn't mean that the rest of my friends who didn't say anything were any less grateful for the experience.

They were still getting all the laughter and joy they needed, as was evident by how many times my posts were getting read over and over again. I'd usually wind up with 600+ hits on my post, and maybe up to 20 replies, when we only had something around 100 members on the board. So someone out there was coming back for second helpings :wink: They just didn't have a burning desire to express their joy over someone trying to bring them a little joy, for what ever individual reason they had at that moment for not saying anything. But, it wasn't necessarily stopping them from coming back and getting more when they needed it either.

So after I was able to look at the situation from a different angle. I realized that, that sort of thing happens all the time in life. Some people are going to scratch my butt back, by actually letting me know how much they enjoyed the good butt scratching I gave them. While others were just as content to walking away happy after getting a really good butt scratching, cause they got what they needed to get them through the day.

So, I discovered that the moral of the story was this. Just because someone doesn't always let you know how much they enjoyed the things that we do, or say to help make little differences in their lives, does not mean we did not actually make a difference in their life, no matter how big or small. Or whether that difference will affect them now, or somewhere on down the road.

BUT! By the same token, we'll never be able to make any kind of positive difference in peoples lives if we don't put ourselves out there to create that opportunity :smile:

So Dave, (and anyone else out there who might get something out of this) I hope you're reading this, and realizing that just because the majority of people may not respond to the positive little things you have to say, does not mean that what you have to say, does not have any value at all. Because you never know just who may be listening to you and actually getting something out of it :smile:

So go ahead and put yourself out there. Who knows, you may just end up giving someone the good butt scratching they need, even if you never get to know that they actually did enjoy the butt scratch :wink:

[Ivy]

What is evaahs live stream, and who is Dave? I'm neither, so I'm not even sure I should be responding.

There was a psychological study I saw a film of a while ago. One group of people were independent thinkers...the others were social thinkers.

During the test, an office worker walked down the corridor, and dropped a pile of folders on the floor. The object was to see how people would react. The social thinkers were much more likely to stop and pick the folders up with the woman - the independent thinkers more often looked to see she was ok and walked on.

But significantly, when the participants answered the questions regarding their reactions, both groups had responded according to the way they would want to have been treated themselves. The independent minds had walked by because they saw themselves in that position just picking up the folders and getting on with it - they didn't feel a need for help, so they didn't see a need for help. Whereas, the social thinkers would have found pleasure in someone helping them, so they wanted to help the other.

In the same way, you share with the intention of brightening someones day...but you also take pleasure in the happy responses that you receive.

Whereas, people with a different way of thinking, will not recognise that there is pleasure taken from a response...and perhaps they are less affected from the reading too. I have to say, I'm one of those people...I read a fun story and move on...whereas something that stimulates my need to question myself/life etc will create a lot more pleasure for me. And in the same way, I tend to write in a way that stimulates questioning, rather than laughter.

It's not to everyones taste...and I suspect you will take less pleasure in my reply here, than you might if I'd given a lighter response.

Or to put it another way, not everybody needs a good butt scratching...so they don't necessarily jump to butt scratch others.

If we were all the same, life would be boring.

[Draenevyre]

Just popping in to say I appreciate this thread :3

It brings me much joy; I will try to take this lesson with me wherever I go. Thank you

[Animus27]

This thread made me smile. Thanks Trieah! :D

[Trieah]

It's not to everyones taste...and I suspect you will take less pleasure in my reply here, than you might if I'd given a lighter response.

Or to put it another way, not everybody needs a good butt scratching...so they don't necessarily jump to butt scratch others.

If we were all the same, life would be boring.

Not at all, lol. I rather enjoyed your response actually. I like both, reading and writing things that challenge my way of thinking and gets me to ask question too. Perhaps I'm just a little more lighthearted about it at times :wink: But I suppose that mostly depends on what kind of mood I'm in.

But to be honest, on a very basic level, I see no difference in the story you told, then the one I told. They both pretty much said the same thing of how different people will respond in different ways according to what their needs are. Exact same concept. Completely different delivery :wink:

What you've done, is given a different set of people, with a different set of needs, the same idea to ponder over. Only, you've tailored it to something more suitable for them. So why should I be any less thrilled by your response when you may have reached out to a different set of people who may get something out of what you've said, that I wasn't able to reach?

It's all good, Hun :D

Oh, as to answer you questions. Evaah is an SF members who creates absolutely AMAZING spirit channeled works of art. And every once in a while, she will hold sessions for SF members to get a spirit portrait reading. SF members who show up at the live streaming events may be able to get their own channeled spirit portrait. We all watch, chat and help give a verbal reading to go along with the portrait being drawn. Quite a number of SF members actually use the portraits Evaah has created for them as their avatars. I'm using one of the ones she's made for me right now. If you want, you can check it out down in the Reading Request forum. She's doing card reading right now, so don't know when she'll get back to doing the portraits.

And as for who Dave is. He was one of the SF members who showed up at this last live streaming event and had a portrait made of his higher self. The most prominent channeled messages that were coming up for Dave, was that he needs to start opening up and sharing his thoughts and ideas with other people, because he has a lot of good things to say that will make people think about different concepts. Who knows, maybe Dave will be able to reach out to a completely different set of people then either you or I can, and get them to think and question things that may help them in life :smile:

[Trieah]

Just popping in to say I appreciate this thread :3

It brings me much joy; I will try to take this lesson with me wherever I go. Thank you

This thread made me smile. Thanks Trieah! :D

:smile: I'm glad both of you were able to get something out of it.

[Ivy]

Yes indeed, I was meant to be agreeing with you lol. in your post, you'd seen an attitude in the cat that didn't give a purr in return for butt scratching...but then you had realised that people may respond in different ways, but still they were taking joy.

The realisation you have made is great. But I also hope that you will continue to consider the multiple angles that people view something from.

Let me ask you though...if a person reads your post and thinks it's pointless...or if a person is upset by what you've written...how would you let those responses effect you?

The reason I ask is that, in your post you've drawn the conclusion that everybody is finding joy in reading your post, it's just that some express it differently. Ofcourse nobody knows what others are thinking or feeling when they read...but your response shows what you want people to be feeling.

I'm not criticising your intention (I applaud it) but is the importance on the result of the intention...or on the intention itself.

[Trieah]

LOL!! Of course I consider multiple angles. You have to remember, this was a theory that I came up with well over ten years ago, and that was just how it played out back then :wink: We were a much smaller, yet tight knit bunch back then, and we were all a bit goofy, yet sentimental in our own ways.

Heh, it wouldn't be the first time people have thought the things I've had to say were pointless, or had gotten upset with me. But what can ya do? It either makes ya weaker, or makes ya stronger, or sometimes both at the same time :wink:

And yes, the importance is on the intention itself. I suppose all we can really do in the end, is hope that our trying to make a difference, somehow actually does make a difference in someone else for the right reasons and not the wrong.

[Ivy]

perhaps questioning perceptions of right and wrong is the next step treah. Though I get the feling that you don't want to be looking at anything new right now...but are wanting to show others what you've learned already.

That's ok, but I'm a little lost to understand the sharing here. I think it is a group of like-thinkers/friends that you were addressing it to.

I was intrigued by who the strangers (to me) were in the op. Although I am an independent traveller, it has given me an interesting insight into a different section of society. But I will bow out as I realise that's not what your threads about x

[Trieah]

Way ahead of you there:wink: Yes, for many many years, I have pondered over all the issues concerning whether is it right or wrong to ever share any part of the quirky little things that make life fun, interesting or challenges our way of thinking from a different point of view.

After all, what's the point of ever doing anything, if there is never going to be a point behind why any of us ever do the things we say or do? It becomes irrelevant, pointless. We, become irrelevant. We, become pointless.

And then the next question after all that is: Do we just shut down and close ourselves off, never to share anything we have to say just because we are all so uniquely different or independent in our own right, that we wind up believing we are all alone?

Or do we take the chance of reaching out, opening ourselves up by sharing little parts of ourselves in hopes to find others who are enough like us, that we don't have to feel like we are all alone?

And then the next set of questions after that are: Do we actually even have anything inside of us that is relevant, or has a point? Do we have a voice? And is that voice even worth being heard? Or should we just stay quiet because nothing we say will ever make a difference?

So yes, my friend, I do ponder over a great many different perspectives and perceptions from all sides of the fence, not just one or two :wink:

And what it all boils down to is, should I close down and never even try? Or do I open up and take a chance? We all must make that choice. And sometimes all we can do is hope that we've made the right one.

But perhaps I should also bow out now too. But let me say first, that I did enjoy the discussion with you :smile:

[Ivy]

Way ahead of you there:wink: Yes, for many many years, I have pondered over all the issues concerning whether is it right or wrong to ever share any part of the quirky little things that make life fun, interesting or challenges our way of thinking from a different point of view.

After all, what's the point of ever doing anything, if there is never going to be a point behind why any of us ever do the things we say or do? It becomes irrelevant, pointless. We, become irrelevant. We, become pointless.

And then the next question after all that is: Do we just shut down and close ourselves off, never to share anything we have to say just because we are all so uniquely different or independent in our own right, that we wind up believing we are all alone?

Or do we take the chance of reaching out, opening ourselves up by sharing little parts of ourselves in hopes to find others who are enough like us, that we don't have to feel like we are all alone?

And then the next set of questions after that are: Do we actually even have anything inside of us that is relevant, or has a point? Do we have a voice? And is that voice even worth being heard? Or should we just stay quiet because nothing we say will ever make a difference?

So yes, my friend, I do ponder over a great many different perspectives and perceptions from all sides of the fence, not just one or two :wink:

And what it all boils down to is, should I close down and never even try? Or do I open up and take a chance? We all must make that choice. And sometimes all we can do is hope that we've made the right one.

But perhaps I should also bow out now too. But let me say first, that I did enjoy the discussion with you :smile:

This wasn't my way of seeing it when I wrote regarding right/wrong. But the way you have seen it, the questions you've found from the discussion will be correct for your path.

It will be good to see where they take you.

all the best x

[Gregatha]

Hi Trieah, i enjoy reading the stories of others...some i get, some i don't....and sometimes i feel a story that really hits the spot...when i need it most...i love it when that happens:smile: As far as thankyou's go....i will usually thank people when im moved to do so...however when im on a forum...this is mostly done via PM.

I would love to read more of your stories Trieah....enjoy your day friend....cheers:hug3:

[Trieah]

This wasn't my way of seeing it when I wrote regarding right/wrong. But the way you have seen it, the questions you've found from the discussion will be correct for your path.

It will be good to see where they take you.

all the best x

Very true :wink: We all walk our own paths in life. But sometimes I have to wonder if the path is truly our own, in that unique special kind of way. Or if for the most part, it's just a well worn path that's been around for a very long time where so many people have walked down it at various different intervals and left enough footprints to keep the path changing ever so slightly. And then only the footprints we've left behind are truly what we can call our own. But only because the part of the path that's still in front of us, hasn't actually been walked yet, and subject to change directions at any moment the fancy to do so, strikes us :wink:

Heh, I do have another old concept about pathways, and the roles people play in them. This one was one of my more serious concepts though. No butt scratching in that one, lol But I think I'll only post that one if you or anyone else actually cares to hear it.

[It is all good]

Trieah,

That was wonderful. It reminds me of the stories I grew up hearing. They were funny and made you laugh and yet there was a valuable gem of a lesson contained within them. Hope you will share more like this. And you have inspired me to begin doing something I quit doing because I didn't think it mattered anymore.

[Ivy]

It would be more fruitful to try out the ideas you are discovering now...or perhaps new angles on the old that you are considering now, wouldn't it? It's very easy sometimes to stay with what we know and wait for someone else...or life, to jolt us into anew wave.

To check ourselves, to look for the path that we are not sure about, the path upon which our insecurities lie, the path that is unknown and unworn by our feet, is to find anew.

And I know...you already do this...and have done for years :wink:

[Trieah]

Hi Trieah, i enjoy reading the stories of others...some i get, some i don't....and sometimes i feel a story that really hits the spot...when i need it most...i love it when that happens:smile: As far as thankyou's go....i will usually thank people when im moved to do so...however when im on a forum...this is mostly done via PM.

I would love to read more of your stories Trieah....enjoy your day friend....cheers:hug3:

Trieah,

That was wonderful. It reminds me of the stories I grew up hearing. They were funny and made you laugh and yet there was a valuable gem of a lesson contained within them. Hope you will share more like this. And you have inspired me to begin doing something I quit doing because I didn't think it mattered anymore.

I'm so glad that both of you liked it so much :smile: My favorite kinds of stories are the ones that have some kind of meaning behind them.

And it makes my heart smile to know that you were inspired to start doing something again :hug:

[Trieah]

It would be more fruitful to try out the ideas you are discovering now...or perhaps new angles on the old that you are considering now, wouldn't it? It's very easy sometimes to stay with what we know and wait for someone else...or life, to jolt us into anew wave.

To check ourselves, to look for the path that we are not sure about, the path upon which our insecurities lie, the path that is unknown and unworn by our feet, is to find anew.

And I know...you already do this...and have done for years :wink:

More fruitful perhaps, but it's also kinda fun to go back and revisit some of the old favorites too :wink:

I do think this one that I mentioned might come in handy for others though. As luck would have it, that smaller tight message board that I once belonged to, would go though some terrible rough patches at times. Sometimes, there would be so much misunderstanding and misjudging going on, that accusations would fly off the handle, and lots of good people would get hurt And sometimes they would gang up on a particular person and pretty much force them out the board entirely. In truth, a lot of the times, I was trying to defuse bad situations with all the humor, inspiration and good cheer. So yeah, I know all about how things can get very ugly, very quick. But, I suppose that's what happen when people don't really take the time to really take a good look at someone elses perspective.

This was also happening at a time when I was trapped inside a relationship filled with domestic violence. So yeah, even I wasn't in the best of places, but what can ya do. Anyway, there was on lady on that message board, who was quite the alpha female pack leader. And while she did care a lot about her friends and would do anything within her power to step in and take over the situation to try and relieve it, even when not asked to do so. She would sometimes do it in a manner something akin to a bull in a china shop. Don't get me wrong, she was still a good person at heart, just a little too much like an angry momma bear protecting her young.

Well, she knew about my bad situation, and she didn't hesitate to jump right in and try to get me to stand up against all the abuse. But, little did she know, she was also creating an abusive situation by taking too much control over my life. And when I finally got up enough nerve to stand up to her, in the same way she wanted me to stand up to all the others who were mistreating me, she didn't react to it very kindly.

I'll spare you all the details, save for this one. She told me rather angrily over the phone, that she was not my doormat that I could go crying to with all my problems, just to wipe my feet all over her.

And it was her analogy of that doormat, that had gotten me to think that she wasn't my doormat, but just a stepping stone that was a part of the path I needed to take to finally start getting away from all the various abuses I had always endured.

It was then, that I had taken what I had learned from the two cats, butt scratch theory, that I applied it to the doormat vs. stepping stone theory.

Basically, it's all a matter of which we prefer to see ourselves as when trying to extend ourselves out to others, regardless if they really did "need" our help or not. Do we regret trying to help someone, just because it wound up turning out a bit messy? Or do we just let the messy parts of helping someone go, and do our best to smile knowing that we did the best we could to help someone along by only being a small part of their much longer path?

The choice is ours as to how we wish to feel about it, even if some of those messy parts wound up causing cracks to form in our heart. Now that's not to say we can only ever chose one of those and stick with it. Sometimes we may just need to feel those cracks by having a good cry over it. And that's ok too, just as long as they are healthy, cathartic tears that help to wash away the pain :smile:

On a side note. Due to recent events, I think I may have needed to revisit this theory for a bit of personal use, because just writing this up, has also been helpful in healing the hurt I was feeling over something that's been going on for a while. Heh, guess that means I just became my own stepping stone :wink:

[Ivy]

It's funny...whenever one imagines they are doing something for others...there's always a sidenote for themselves.

Your friend who imagined she was helping/protecting others was doing it because she needed to...and perhaps she needed you to lean on her to show her the strong person she wanted to see herself as.

we can learn from others lessons too...and are often brought together in the reflection.

[Louisa]

I agree, Treiah. There's all kinds of things people like to share with or receive from others - light cheerful things, and deep things, as well as even sometimes unsettling and thought-provoking things. The social parts of us may make us want to share these things and I think that's a valid need, a feeling of love and wanting to share. I enjoy sharing with others in places that I feel others might benefit. I have learned that many people benefit from things whether they express thanks or not. And they might even benefit without realizing it, because a seed of insight is planted that helps them later on. I know often I am helped by peoples' posts and I don't say anything to them. Partly, it's because I don't want to express favortism. Sometimes I just feel too busy to say thank you. And sometimes, people feel awkward when thanked or complimented.

[Trieah]

Your friend who imagined she was helping/protecting others was doing it because she needed to...and perhaps she needed you to lean on her to show her the strong person she wanted to see herself as.

we can learn from others lessons too...and are often brought together in the reflection.

That's a very good point :wink:

I think my thing is, I try to see everyone as an extension of some aspect of myself, even though I have a ton of different aspects to my personality that range all over the place. So I'll purposely look for something that I can recognize about myself, inside someone else. And that's how I come to care and love them all, because I love myself as well.

But true, I don't always need to have that love reciprocated, because I know it's there. And I know it's there, because I can feel it inside of me, as well as outside of me, and in every single place that I go looking for it. And I know that I'm both, the teacher and the learner :D

[Trieah]

:smile: I agree with what you've said too, Louisa. It's darn near impossible to always respond or react to the things that have made differences in our lives. Sometimes, life just gets too much in the way of that, and then we just have to choose what action to take.

Ooooo, I just came across this quote the other day that really stood out to me, and reminds me of what we've been talking about.

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning and have regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forgive the ones who don't. And believe everything happens for a reason."

[Trieah]

Just got back from having to put my "butt scratch" kitty down:icon_frown:

He may have been a little bit of a brat when he was younger, but in his later years, all it would take was a little butt scratching and he'd purr up a storm for anyone who took the time to love on him. I used to tease him a lot for messing up my theory with his new found appreciation for affection.

I'm really going to miss him :icon_frown:

[Ivy]

i'm sorry to hear :hug3:

[Trieah]

Thank you.

[VesicaPhoenix11]

I'm not an participant in this thread - but I've read it - and I just wanted to stop in and give my sincere condolences on losing one of your feline family, Trieah. :hug3: May he continue to defy past behavior & theories and like getting his butt scratched in the hereafter...

[Trieah]

Thank you :smile: I'm sure he's already doing just what you mentioned. I'll make sure to tell my higher self to go play with him often.