Any mediums or psychics input so appreciated

[cheeky_monkey]

Hi since I was a child I have had little experiences of the paranormal. I began hearing whispers which I ignored as my imagination as a child. It stopped then one night there was a thunderstorm which was right over our house. The windows flashed lime green and we thought how lucky we were not to be completely struck. After that, I had premonition dreams, not many just a few about family and at 14 when I lost my sister I saw UFO's on both her birthday and death day surrounded with other coincidences. Then when I was approaching my 17th birthday I fainted breakinng my jaw in three places and breaking teeth. This occured three weeks after having braces removed from my teeth and days after a dream which involved a few details of the accident (me with broken teeth in my mouth). I didn't feel cursed at the time. I thought how lucky it hadn't been worse and even saw it as a blessing in disguise because I thought my accident may have prevented something far worse happening (it stopped me from going to parties and seeing my friends for four months).
I got a job soon after I was healed and life went on as normal. Then just over a year later a friend died in circumstances I don't understand. It was days before the millennium. I almost immediately started experiencing small paranormal events like smelling perfume in her home whilst visiting her parents then finding out that her parents had bought her perfume shortly before her death.
Syncronicity went into overdrive and I was humming songs that were about to be played on the radio which were decades old.
The paranormal again died down as I was forced to take medications to handle the experiences which were beginning to disturb me. I started concentrating on university but after meeting my boyfriend lost interest (which i deeply regret). Then one night in 2006 I saw an apparition of a crow dematerialise infront of me. It was my first confirmation that ghosts can look as real as you and me. A few years later I was being bullied a little and whilst thinking of taking my life, some how a bird got into our house. The timing was divine and possibly saved my life or a trip to casualty. Shortly after (a few years) I heard a male voice which I don't think I recognise. This was followed by a nasty ear infection which needed antibiotics.

On a side note, I have been quite a mouthy bitter person, especially in my mid twenties, so do you think that it is my personality which is causing the negativity, since my dreams or nightmares have only predicted negative events.

I have a lot of questions like who was the male voice? what did he want? why did the crow visit me? etc

But I'd like to know from mediums and psychics where do I go from here? what's the next step? I've tried forgetting about the paranormal and getting a job but have not been successful in my search so find myself back to square one. I don't want to dabble in energies I don't understand when from personal experience I know that it may not be safe to do so. So any advice from experienced mediums or psychics would be greatly appreciated. Sorry to ask, only I don't see how a doctor can help when my doctor doesn't even believe in the paranormal and would probably label me mental for saying I've experienced parnormal phenomena.

[Enya]

Hi, I think we talked about this before the site crashed, so forgive if I repeat myself.

The best way to move forward in your life is to begin to love and understand yourself, bad points and good. Any spiritual work is accompanied by a lot of inner work, which helps you to be a better person, to love yourself and others and to find the balance or creative spark you may be missing.

You asked if your own bitterness is creating negativity... well, what you put out comes back to you. If you are bitter about people, life, events etc, then you carry that in your energy and in your heart and that is what others pick up on, even unconsciously. It is my belief that fear of the 'paranormal', built on films, stories and experiences, can make premonitions feel negative because the person is already tuning into a 'lower' vibration or wavelength. I'm not blaming you here, but self-knowledge isn't always pleasant to digest. The good news is, you can move beyond that!!

Start to love yourself more... pamper yourself with small treats, catch yourself when a negative thought or word enters your mind or leaves your mouth and ask yourself - what can I replace this with, what is more positive and giving? You might want to investigate Emotional Freedom Technique or Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Or you might feel drawn to get some self-development cards and work with them for a while (it's how I started ;)). Look for some of the excellent uplifting self-development books which are around... in secondhand bookstores, libraries, etc. Go with what draws you, what feels right for you.

It's like peeling the layers off an onion - they may make you cry and each one has its challenges, but as you do so, you get closer to the core of who you truly are... and that's a wonderful person. :hug3: