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awakeningheart
17-10-2010, 11:42 PM
I do. We are both married. But to other people.

That's it really. It's just so painful.

alleigh
18-10-2010, 01:32 AM
I do. I am recently divorced (one month out)...he is on the starting end of his. But, I know that it has to end naturally and not because of me. But, you're not alone. It is hard.

Lynn
18-10-2010, 01:38 AM
Hello

I do as well. He and I are both in happy marriages BUT not with eachother. NOR if there was a possibilty for us to be together would we be.

I am one to see the possitives in things....not together for a reason. I care about this man very much and we get on very well but I have a choosen mate. I have a happy life.

Be happy with friendship....as that in itself has a HUGE value.


Lynn

Miko
18-10-2010, 02:17 AM
I hear it is quite common for this to happen. many times twin souls marry the same kind of spouses too, lol. I'm not married, and my ts is not incarnate in this dimension. I'm sure it must be hard, but both of you may have karma to work out with your spouses or chose to be seperate in order to be more independant.

ShamanWoman
18-10-2010, 03:09 AM
Mine isn't married, but I am. His personality in this life is too adventurous for me and I'm happy right where I am, but I do wonder what it's like to have a relationship with that deep connection in it. I'm sure this isn't the first time we've lived our lives apart, which is why I feel a bit lonely and sad but not like I *need* to be with him. The happy pills help, too. :-D

Royalite
18-10-2010, 03:29 AM
How do you know who your twin soul is?

LadyImpreza1111
18-10-2010, 04:34 AM
Oh trust. YOU KNOW. Its unmistakeable. There's the empathic/telepathic connection, intense love/passion, not needing to speak to communicate, feeling like you've known them forever,the list goes on.

SpiritStarFly1
18-10-2010, 10:46 AM
Hello

I do as well. He and I are both in happy marriages BUT not with eachother. NOR if there was a possibilty for us to be together would we be.

I am one to see the possitives in things....not together for a reason. I care about this man very much and we get on very well but I have a choosen mate. I have a happy life.

Be happy with friendship....as that in itself has a HUGE value.


Lynn


Thank you for this, this is what I have been mulling over in my mind this last week.
Putting the twin flame thing aside (as I am really not sure what I believe with regards to that), the person I have this intense connection to is with someone, has been for 13 years. I have been with my husband for 11 years (someone I share an even more intense connection with, only different).

What I have recently done is to accept how I feel about this guy. Now I can begin to see that what I really truly want from him is his love and affection as a friend, and not a life partner. I am happy with my husband, he is the most wonderful man I have ever met.

awakeningheart
18-10-2010, 11:07 AM
Thank you for your responses..it's good to know that I'm not alone.

I accept what I feel and try not to dwell on what 'could be'...my life is very good as it is so I guess I have to look at this as a blessing.

Dynamist...I don't know how to explain how you just 'know' but you do. Before it happened to me I would have scoffed at the idea..I had never heard of the twin flame concept until my life was turned upside down by reconnecting with him (we were together briefly many years ago). It has shaken me to the core and 'awakened my heart'..it is all good. Just hard to deal with sometimes.

psychoslice
18-10-2010, 11:09 AM
Yea, my sister.

Smiler
18-10-2010, 12:08 PM
How do we measure the depths of love when we only have our own individual experiences of measuring it.. The well of love is deep! There are no measures, love is freeing not entrapment of another for ones self worth... twins by my experience only , teach each other things beyong our logic, beyond lust, beyond looks etc ... Its tough but worth the journey if you dont box it!
Blessings
xxxxxxxx

Smiler
18-10-2010, 12:14 PM
I do have what is called a twin flame, we are spiritually connected telepathically, sort of like real twins except there is a love than goes beyond whats known as here . Its unconditional, my twin and I both married different people our choices in marriage are to similiar type people ( both are virgo's) WE (twin and I... are cancerian and scorpio). We have shared much pain and put each other in pain sadly but that was necessary for growth and soul lessons I feel as we always instantly forgave... our eyes on contact twinkle and laugh , We also put each other through many tests, we both tried to break the connection between us every way possible over the years.. It is beyond passion..simply put it "just is". Now after 14 years of trying to figure it out, we have both come to a place of acceptance that yes the "love" is real but not for this life-time. Acceptance does free us from pain.. The soul may long for the essence of the other on the odd occasion but does understand truth!
For we are not ONE but TWO individuals HERE ( on earth) to complete our life path complete!

Falling Star
18-10-2010, 12:28 PM
You know the twinflame love bond is the true marriage between souls. the bond is sacred.

Smiler
18-10-2010, 12:33 PM
I know star it is sacred!
Xo

Falling Star
18-10-2010, 12:44 PM
Maybe because of karma we are seperated, and even because of soul growth, but all is according to our divine contracts to each other.
Even though some twins may be married to others, in reality the bonds between you can never be severed, you are as one within each other. It is an eternal bond of love.
My guides once told me that *this lifetime is just one second in eternity* I feel that we will all be reunited within divine timing.

LadyImpreza1111
18-10-2010, 02:54 PM
Yeah. Karma either plays the part in either why twins can't come together at all..........or when they have individual work they have to do BEFORE they can come together.

Falling Star
18-10-2010, 03:02 PM
I'm hoping it's the latter personally. Although i am learning to trust more and more in the divine plan.

LadyImpreza1111
18-10-2010, 03:10 PM
How do we measure the depths of love when we only have our own individual experiences of measuring it.. The well of love is deep! There are no measures, love is freeing not entrapment of another for ones self worth... twins by my experience only , teach each other things beyong our logic, beyond lust, beyond looks etc ... Its tough but worth the journey if you dont box it!
Blessings
xxxxxxxx

I agree 100%

7luminaries
18-10-2010, 05:34 PM
I'm hoping it's the latter personally. Although i am learning to trust more and more in the divine plan.

Me too...hope it's the latter, but trusting in the divine plan. Neither of us is married to others at this time...hope that remains the case...but I truly feel for those in that situation...it must be very difficult if you feel as so many of us do that you are wedded spiritually at the soul level. However as LadyI says, karma plays a role and we all have to come to terms with that.

Re: LadyI...I know I am the one that brought the most karmic baggage from last time.
We were separated from war, I more or less lost hope & ran away to die (w/my child)...whilst he died of broken heart not long after.

On my own, I've worked hard...so hard...to give back and to trust and have faith. And it feels good that I did all of that...now I can keep doing the work but with more appreciation for this world, for my efforts, for humanity in general,and for the power of love and faith in the world. I give a lot of this credit to my twin as well as to myself. He has truly helped me forge my soul in the crucible of the divine flame.

Here's to love, faith, hope, prayer, peace, and synchronicity. May we see all of these & more in our lifetimes...and sooner rather than later....

Peace & blessings,
7L

iza
18-10-2010, 05:54 PM
I'm married...my heart-mate is in a serious relationship. 17 years separate us in age. He is quite well known...I'm just an ordinary gal living an ordinary life. :redface:

But I know there's a bond between us that can't be broken. We've only met in the spiritual plane and have yet to meet here.

I have only one good friend who knows and understands what I have with him because she's seen the signs and synchronicities happening around me. She asked me once, "So you two definitely have something between you, even if you've never met. What happens when you two meet? What will you do?"

My answer, "Nothing. I can only be happy that we've found each other and were finally able to meet face to face. That's the only thing I've ever wanted. I will not do anything to jeopardise my marriage because my husband is a good man. Knowing how my heart-mate is, the sort of man he is, I know he would feel the same."

Smiler
21-10-2010, 01:51 PM
I dont think mine was a twin for it has snapped ! .. must have been karma :)
Im free .. Im free..... yippeeeeeeeee ! Sorry guys thats the feeling I get !
I am really happy discovering me..
blessings.

Spring1988
24-01-2011, 03:10 AM
Yes! I have suppressed my feelings for her for YEARS! But everytime I saw her they would just come rushing back. FInally I had a really powerful dream and stopped trying to suppress them. Since then, I have embraced them.

Lynn
24-01-2011, 04:26 AM
Hello

Never ever having been drawn to ANY other man that the one mate I have ever had, I found it rather facinating to come to find TWO men that I have never met in person that I was attracted to on a deeper level.

WHY we share in past lifes we both have managed to unravel . In one we were LOVer's twice. Once was a times of great personal hardships and struggles but we were very much a team. The other was forbidden LOVe that we had. I think it is that one that draws us to the feelings we have.

Both of us are long time married and KNOW well we would never act on those feelings but too we do not deny in any way they be there. One can have the feelings and not have to have the actions that might well go with them and have a strong friendship wit the resepcts for one's mate.

The other man I was his Spinster Sister we never married so that is a family bond we share in. That bond of Sister's have. We have feelings for eachother but again are both married and respect in that one. Do not deny in those feelings.


The damage is done when one steps out of the marriage or relationship or when one lets those feeling for another into the relationship with one's mate. Mine knows well I care deeply for these two men, but like he said he knows I am in his bed not theirs and nor would I be. Thinks it nice that I have two close friends that understand me on the spiritual level I be on.

Lynn

Angel In Training
25-01-2011, 03:13 AM
My twin flame is married to someone else as well. However I am still single. Whats worse is her husband forbids her to spend time with me even just as a friend because he feels threatened. Talk about salt in the wound =*(

Elfay
25-01-2011, 06:14 AM
Yes I am. I met him years ago when we both were single, we split up, more from him than me. He married as did I, pretty much the same time. I got divorced in 1992. I had lost touch with him, my ex-husband was very jealous of the friendship I still had with my TF and I had to stop talking to him. i moved out of state and severed all connections I had had with where I had lived a huge percentage of my life. The internet was just getting started back then, I had no number or where a bouts he may be. I was never obssessed with my TF yet he was always on my mind, he was nearly always in my dreams even 23 years later. I remarried in 1998 and we had a child together. My TF was still with me. The dreams. Thinking about him. We had a bond even seperated. Noone or nothing could sever it. I tried to find him again. I wanted to know how he was. The last time we had spoken he was having marital problems. As was I. I divorced. started to look for him on the net in 2005. Nothing. I still dreamt about him on a regular basis. Something was pushing me to reconnect with him. After 23 years we finally reconnected! He had divorced in 1997 and remarried in 2001. We've been emailing eachother for a few days now. . Its as if we never had been apart. he's still my best friend. My heart is happy again. We may never see eachother again but we reconnected as best friends again. To me that is very important.

Spring1988
25-01-2011, 07:54 AM
My One is married and so am I. We've led different lives up until now. Were both in bad marriages. I know I'm planning for a slow road to a divorce. I don't know what C is gonna do though. I guess she will leave when she is ready whenever that is. I wont force it. I feel her connection is with me. Her husband is extremely controlling and physically abusive. My wife is a lot of things. I believe C and I will be together when we are older. However, even with that said, I feel a pull to her now.

LadyImpreza1111
25-01-2011, 09:26 AM
My twin flame is married to someone else as well. However I am still single. Whats worse is her husband forbids her to spend time with me even just as a friend because he feels threatened. Talk about salt in the wound =*(

Ugh. I'm sorry. I guess all I can say is to put yourself in his shoes. He might see the strength of your connection as well. I'd understand him feeling threatened too. He might compare himself to you and feels like he falls short.
Some people can maintain a simple friendship with their twin, but for others, there might be temptation there. I'm not saying you will...........but some people can't easily resist the temptation because it is intense where your twin soul is concerned.

However..............FORBIDDING her from spending time with you? I'm sure if she wants to see you badly enough.....him acting controlling won't do him much good.

pre-dawn
25-01-2011, 11:41 PM
You know the twinflame love bond is the true marriage between souls. the bond is sacred.
Where does that leave one when one or both parties are married to someone else?

Lynn
25-01-2011, 11:53 PM
Hello

If both are married to someone else ye leave it be and bless that union. I have found that place of balance with the TWO I have as we are GOOD friends only.....and it will stay like that. We migh well meet one day but will not act on the pleasures o the flesh. That would be an act of LUST and a breaking in the bonds of TRUST that is in a marriage bed.


Lynn

rainbowwarrior
01-11-2011, 01:11 AM
hi i have a twin flame and she is in a loving relationship, with a child. I have contact by the way of emails and writing im happy with that. The first time i saw her i knew straight away. I wasnt aware of twin flames at the time but i knew we just fitted like gloves, and we have been close ever since. For me if she is happy then i am happy. Its really hard to take, but i have my writing and this to me is our own sacred bond. She respects this and i will respect her loving relationship as well, because i would never wish that upon anyone. I also believe one is not your twin flame if you cant be happy for them. But in saying that Love Hurts sometimes.

veronicax
01-11-2011, 04:18 AM
Yes yes yes !! And it is crazy hard :( . Worst timing ever we got close only a couple months after he was married !!!

Quest
01-11-2011, 04:33 AM
My TF isn't married, he is single, but my hubby can't deal with the fact that I would like to spend time with my TF, so I have respected that so far.
I do feel guilty at times for having caused so much grief, both for my hubby and TF, but there isn't really much that I can do. I feel attracted to both of them, lately more so towards my TF though, so that's been a difficult realization...

Buttercup
01-11-2011, 05:18 AM
I was married, and TS was in a serious live-in relationship, when we reconnected. I wish it had've been different, but you have to play the hand you're dealt, I suppose. I actually don't recommend choosing the path that TS and I did and I deeply regret the hurt that was caused. I wish I'd talked to my husband about my feelings and given him the respect and honesty he deserved but the marriage was in a bad place and so was I, mentally (not excuses, just my reasons at the time) so I really didn't feel strong enough to do so. Also I had no idea about 'twin souls' or the kinds of different common situations and the lessons we're supposed to learn from all this when we reconnected, only finding forums like this when everything had advanced quite far - maybe if I'd known what this was sooner, I would have had more patience?

It's been an interesting journey and my relationship with TS is strong and for that I'm grateful. But I do understand the struggle and pain caused when either of you are in a relationship with others. I wonder if anyone has chosen the path that TS and I did - leaving those respective relationships and beginning again, together? And how it worked out? I feel in the minority, sometimes...

Quest
01-11-2011, 04:50 PM
Buttercup, how did it work out for you? Are you happy now, living with your TS? Was it worth all of the pain and upheaval? I'd love to hear your story. I read some of your threads in which you described some of the past, but I'm curious as to how it worked out. If you don't want to share, that's fine too and I'd understand.

Viola
01-11-2011, 05:21 PM
I am, he isn't. My marriage was troubled before I met tf, and he was kind of the Universe's final "wake up!!!" call for me. However, I think if a marriage is meant to end, it must be happen on it's own terms and it's own time. If possible, the tf should not be involved, (which he isn't) because it is about the marriage and the spouses and the karmic debt they must work out first. Extremely messy and immensely painful for all inolved, but I try to remind myself that we (all three of us) agreed that this is what had to done for the growth of the soul before we came back to the physical. All three of us have a very intense soul bond. We've discussed it more than once.

cherry
01-11-2011, 06:15 PM
my twin is married, im single.
but twin is older than i am. he got married when he was 28, i met him when I was 28.
it kinda sucks he's married, but its normal that he had a life before me.
also i try not to hate her or be jealous of her. my twin and i are so nsync that if he liked her enough to marry, i must like her too, we are so alike.

they have a very strange marriage, he told me all about it when we just met. back than i didnt want to hear about it, cuz it hurted. now im curious to know more, but its awkward to ask. still i wanna know all about it, so i know where i stand and if ill have a shot in becoming his wife.

also without her, he would never have had his lovely kids, whom we both love, they are the joy in his life.

i feel one day ill be with him and well have a family, not sure if its still in this lifetime. but untill than i patiently wait for him. i try to give others a chance, but i dont manage to connect with anyone else.

i love him so much and his happiness means everything to me. id rather share him, than not having him at all in my life.

he hides me away from her. each time when we're both with him, he'll get us in different rooms so we wont see. once we came in together and he was very nervous. maybe because our connection just shows on our faces. we cant stop smiling and staring at eachother and we have that bright glow around us.

i havent really spoken her yet, but if i ever will i want to be kind for her. its not her fault she married the most amazing man there is in the world.:)

she seems to know who i am. there was a period when twin and i got alot together, that she started checking upon me. checking my internet profiles, posting messages with his fb account but signing with her name, passing my house in her car alot,... i think she got scared and suspicious.

id be happier if id have him with me all the time, but on the other hand, noone else but me shares this amazing connection with him. he's my twin and im his:)

Nymphea
01-11-2011, 11:09 PM
Thank you for this, this is what I have been mulling over in my mind this last week.
Putting the twin flame thing aside (as I am really not sure what I believe with regards to that), the person I have this intense connection to is with someone, has been for 13 years. I have been with my husband for 11 years (someone I share an even more intense connection with, only different).

What I have recently done is to accept how I feel about this guy. Now I can begin to see that what I really truly want from him is his love and affection as a friend, and not a life partner. I am happy with my husband, he is the most wonderful man I have ever met.

So very true, this really resonates with me!
I too have made a start to put the TF thing aside because it became all too consuming. I will see where it gets me....

Quest
01-11-2011, 11:47 PM
So very true, this really resonates with me!
I too have made a start to put the TF thing aside because it became all too consuming. I will see where it gets me....
It's so interesting to read this since I went through the same phase, feeling at peace with my hubby and the fact that I would always have a special relationship with my TF. I did not see my TF for a few months and actually did quite well with the separation. I did a lot of soul searching and work on myself at that time. A few weeks ago, it all ended though and the pull is as strong as ever, if not the strongest I have ever felt. I have learned that this phase of feeling at peace is not lasting, and I won't take it for granted anymore. Maybe it will return at some point, I don't know but I do know that nothing is lasting and the strength of the connection to a TF will never truly vanish. I think it does go in cycles though, as so many things in life. Those types of relationships develop a life cycle of their own, and with it come the many ups and downs.
It truly is a challenge for me to live in the now! It all makes total sense to me but implementing it is very hard for me right now. I have to force my brain to be in the now, whereas before it came to me quite naturally. I sometimes wonder what the changes in my brain would look like lol

veronicax
02-11-2011, 12:00 AM
I am, he isn't. My marriage was troubled before I met tf, and he was kind of the Universe's final "wake up!!!" call for me. However, I think if a marriage is meant to end, it must be happen on it's own terms and it's own time. If possible, the tf should not be involved, (which he isn't) because it is about the marriage and the spouses and the karmic debt they must work out first. Extremely messy and immensely painful for all inolved, but I try to remind myself that we (all three of us) agreed that this is what had to done for the growth of the soul before we came back to the physical. All three of us have a very intense soul bond. We've discussed it more than once.

I agree that the marriage has to work itself out but it is opposite with me and my TF, he is the married one. We chat all the time but do have boundries such as hanging out much and not alone. I do not fell that his marriage is right for him but do realize this is a lesson he needs to go through. I'm sorry to say I don't believe me or his wife have or have ever in a past life had and real bond. She seems sweet but just really doesn't seem like my type of person. :hug3:

awakeningheart
02-11-2011, 12:07 AM
It truly is a challenge for me to live in the now! It all makes total sense to me but implementing it is very hard for me right now. I have to force my brain to be in the now, whereas before it came to me quite naturally. I sometimes wonder what the changes in my brain would look like lol

Quest..I think you and I are living parallel lives! Someone told me once that the love is to the heart as air is to a balloon - the more you add, the bigger it gets.

rainbowwarrior
02-11-2011, 01:23 AM
I met my Twin quite awhile back. When we first met i didnt know anything about twin flames and stuff, but i knew there was this strong unexplainable bond there. She was 20 years younger and also a cousin, so serious drama there also. We both connected and i must say the connection was more in the head, then in the heart, and then we startedto get real close. 5 years ago, we both went through some serious trauma within our lives at the time, and traveled to different countries, but stayed in touch . I still didnt know about this twin flame thing until i read it somewhere, maybe 3 years ago when overseas, and still wasnt sure with it. But always, somehow we always ended up meeting. If we returned home or went back to our country of residence, we always connected, we always said I Love You before we left one another, even though we had our own friends male/female . So from then on i just presumed hey maybe it is this twin flame thing, and i started to pursue this twin flame dream of me and her, which was taboo in its ownright, age difference and being cousins which took her by shock. and thats when it went cold again and i thought no this twin flame thing is all caboosh. We still kept in contact via email and phone and she returned home to live and i stayed abroad. She found her a new relationship 2 years from now and i was hurt from this, and went into what is called a long dark night, and i just tried my best to cope. We still kept in touch and during this time, she said you should come back home and i will even paye for it, and from that time for 6 months, until i went back home, i was in pain sick, and during this time she was pregnant. I got through the long dark night and felt so enlightened after it, and it gave me a whole different outlook on the world, and how to be a loving person, and then i got a lucky break and went home. I got home and she was having her baby, she had her baby and came around and saw me and i was so happy for her, for them all and even though the flame had cooled down, it was still simmering beneath and the love was still there. I still didnt believe in the twin flame connection and treated our relationship as just a strong loving relationship. From there i saw her at a funeral and we talked and as we came together...BANG!! it was like an explosion and my heart not head was racing like a dragster on a 1/4 mile. I not sure if she felt it, and i let her know what happened and she said she loved her new partner and their child, and with this new found energy i just wanted to take what was mine, and this is when i truly believed in a Twin Flame Relationship. So i talked to her about how i felt, and she was in love with her partner and baby. Thats when i started reading up on twin flame relationships, because i needed help in this area because i could see the one i loved just there, and i couldnt touch her. Reading up on this subject and this site forum helped me understand her side of the story, and now even though its sometimes painful, her happiness is my happiness, and we still keep in touch and always will, through family gatherings and our emails. This is our secret you might say, and when i feel anxiety in my heart for her, i breathe in and out repetedly and send love to her and her partner and baby and loved ones, its all i can do and, it helps keep the heart pulling down. But i am still learning and so grateful for this site.lol

twinkle77
02-11-2011, 07:46 AM
It's so interesting to read this since I went through the same phase, feeling at peace with my hubby and the fact that I would always have a special relationship with my TF. I did not see my TF for a few months and actually did quite well with the separation. I did a lot of soul searching and work on myself at that time. A few weeks ago, it all ended though and the pull is as strong as ever, if not the strongest I have ever felt. I have learned that this phase of feeling at peace is not lasting, and I won't take it for granted anymore. Maybe it will return at some point, I don't know but I do know that nothing is lasting and the strength of the connection to a TF will never truly vanish. I think it does go in cycles though, as so many things in life. Those types of relationships develop a life cycle of their own, and with it come the many ups and downs.
It truly is a challenge for me to live in the now! It all makes total sense to me but implementing it is very hard for me right now. I have to force my brain to be in the now, whereas before it came to me quite naturally. I sometimes wonder what the changes in my brain would look like lol

Same feelings here too Quest..it is exhausting and we have to be very strong - i know exactly what u mean re the cycles as i have been going through them, some weeks i will be really fine, and then some weeks the complete opposite...and the change is never a day at a time, it will be 'periods' of ups and downs...we will support each other!

I was ok until a few weeks too, then it hit me hard, and still the same today...the strongest it has ever been..:hug:

twinkle77
02-11-2011, 07:50 AM
Quest..I think you and I are living parallel lives! Someone told me once that the love is to the heart as air is to a balloon - the more you add, the bigger it gets.

Count me in too re the parallel lives!

veronicax
02-11-2011, 08:06 AM
Same feelings here too Quest..it is exhausting and we have to be very strong - i know exactly what u mean re the cycles as i have been going through them, some weeks i will be really fine, and then some weeks the complete opposite...and the change is never a day at a time, it will be 'periods' of ups and downs...we will support each other!

I was ok until a few weeks too, then it hit me hard, and still the same today...the strongest it has ever been..:hug:


I am in the same boat :) :(... Last week or two was amazing and this week so far not the best but not horriable.. :hug3:

soul whisperer
02-11-2011, 08:06 AM
cycles....oh boy.....just when you think you've got a handle on things, BANG, there it goes again, the rollercoaster....and you just can't see those sudden bends in the ride.....before you know it you're hurtling downhill again.....mercy!

twinkle77
02-11-2011, 10:43 AM
cycles....oh boy.....just when you think you've got a handle on things, BANG, there it goes again, the rollercoaster....and you just can't see those sudden bends in the ride.....before you know it you're hurtling downhill again.....mercy!

I know eh? But the thing is when i am fine, i am REALLY fine...and when i am not, i am ok, like i can deal with it....BUT..since i have realized this connection few years ago, these last few weeks have definitely GOT to be THE hardest ever...the energy is so strong...too intense to handle, wish we could both talk abt it then maybe it wouldn't feel so intense? Or does it not make a difference? i wonder!

I have been feeling very tired this week too :oo

Porcelain
02-11-2011, 11:35 AM
I'm married but he isn't. It's hard at times but the friendship is worth so much. I often wonder why life gives us these relationships to deal with.

SpiritStarFly1
02-11-2011, 11:49 AM
cycles....oh boy.....just when you think you've got a handle on things, BANG, there it goes again, the rollercoaster....and you just can't see those sudden bends in the ride.....before you know it you're hurtling downhill again.....mercy!


Totally with you all here, ups and downs, one minute fine, next minute head is a whirl.

I wonder who it is pulling on who, and then tell myself I'm just kidding myself that he is thinking of me but why do these thoughts and feelings and heart tugs and energy rushes just come from nowhere?

I've been ok and then the dreams have started again recently. He seems to be there every night. Not much going on in them but it's only a matter of time before I get one of those weird vivid dreams that I can't shake off no matter what. And back to square one. Bet he probably isnt even thinking of me and it's all in my head :(

Smiler
02-11-2011, 01:46 PM
I'm free I'm free but twin is still twin ..Oh well 17 yrs trying to flick it off ..lol ... one just flows after a while as getting old lol lol



I surrender.... to the divine will ... and the love and light :)

The love LIGHTS are shining Bright . XOX to all

Buttercup
02-11-2011, 01:55 PM
Buttercup, how did it work out for you? Are you happy now, living with your TS? Was it worth all of the pain and upheaval? I'd love to hear your story. I read some of your threads in which you described some of the past, but I'm curious as to how it worked out. If you don't want to share, that's fine too and I'd understand.

Quest, no I don't mind sharing :smile: Since I don't want to hijack this thread too much I'll keep it as short and simple as possible - if this silly complicated craziness allows for that lol!

Where do I start? I suppose I'll tackle your questions one by one...

How did it work out for you? Hmmm. Best way to answer this, is that it hasn't totally worked itself out yet. BUT as I've always understood, this is an entire life-journey with no destination or ending :smile: Yes, we both left our spouses. My marriage was all but over anyway, his relationship - I don't know, to be honest. Neither of them were happy, but I think they were the kind of couple who would have kept it together 'for the kids' or at least til the littlies were a bit older, if that makes sense.

In my case, there was a period of time where it looked like TS and I were not going to make it. His ex had forgiven him, he was going to make it work with her, I accepted that (took a while, but I honestly did) and we'd said goodbye to each other. Even so, I was still house hunting, attending counselling with my ex-husband and making it clear with him that I wasn't staying in the marriage any longer. I never wanted my marriage to end for, or because of, TS; he was the final catalyst, yes, but not the reason. Anyway, as it turned out, TS and his ex imploded, things happened, we were pulled together again. We have children in different countries and it has been incredibly hard but I cherish the experience (even if I do curse it sometimes lol). Throughout it all, the love between TS and I has never been in doubt, our connection has always been incredibly strong, and I think I've been very lucky in that we've never ran from each other, but more been seperated due to life circumstances.

Are you happy now, living with your TS? Well, after both of went to-ing and fro-ing from his country to mine, he moved here 2 months ago. And nope, it didn't go so well, honestly. He seriously struggled with being away from his children - he really hadn't dealt with or prepared himself for it at all. He destroyed himself with guilt. Because I feel his stuff so strongly and I didn't/couldn't shield myself from that much darkness (it was all-encompassing by the end) I started falling to pieces. It wasn't pretty! I booked him a ticket home for his son's birthday and the night before he left, I told him that if he can't do this then he shouldn't come back. That we'd work out some other way. But if he wanted to come back, he needed to MAKE the decision and stand by it.

As it turned out, he had a HUGE wake up call when he flew back to 'his country' (sorry no details, but it was pretty major) and it's made him wake up and look at himself, his decisions and his actions. On top of that, he's seen his children and almost to his surprise, they don't resent him or hate him, they're happy, they love him, it's as natural as it's always been. We've discussed at length what our next move is and he's coming back here a couple of Saturdays from now and he wants to show me that he'll honour our connection, that he can do this - in fact, he's excited about it now, as am I. I did tell him though, that lucky this love IS unconditional, otherwise I would have told him to get stuffed a while ago ha ha!

Was it worth all of the pain and upheaval? Ok, even with the above taken into account, I can still answer a resounding YES to that question. When I think about the depression, the anxiety, the medication, the suicide attempt that led to my stay in a mental health ward (or the 'psych ward', as I like to call it lol)... I was a different person then, I wasn't awake or aware of the beauty of life, I had no faith and was just 'existing' day to day. It is not TS himself that turned me around, but our connection, if that differentiation makes sense? Suddenly I woke - it was like my eyes were open to the universe for the first time in years. He was a catalyst for my own spiritual growth and however this plays out, I'm forever grateful for that. And, besides all that, yes the love I feel for him and the love I know he has for me is beyond anything I thought possible - it's a gift and every time he cups my cheek in his hand and tells me how beautiful I am, I'm reminded of how precious life is and how much I want to fulfill mine and TS's purpose, whatever that may be.

Well, apparently I lied about keeping it short and sweet lol! Sorry! Any other questions feel free to PM me :tongue:

soul whisperer
02-11-2011, 02:08 PM
You're so sweet, sensitive and tender Buttercup. thanks for sharing your personal story with us. I hope things turn out wonderfully for you both and that your lives are full of unconditional love and happiness.
bless you
SW

Smiler
02-11-2011, 02:08 PM
Buttercup I like reading your words .. so honest :) Bless you xo

Buttercup
02-11-2011, 02:36 PM
Oh, thank you so much for the blessings :redface: How lovely!

Straight back to both of you :hug2: