Zoclora
27-08-2012, 09:25 PM
Im normaly on the Spirit guides and angel forums and other ones as well, but as of two weeks ago I am going threw somthing that is..hard to explain.
Now how I know its not a spirit matter, I dont know. I dont know what is going on. But I am seaking help from other areas just incase.
Let me begian when I was one. I was never a normal child. At the age of one I gain a fastanation with space and science. But the age of two or three I have learned and mimorize the constalations, planets and even some other gallexys. When I was the are of four I have self taught my self to write in cursive when alot of my clss mates was just begianing to write in normale print. I had this understanding of the adult world that no one could understand. And alot of times, it got me into truble. At age five I wrode a two wheel bike when alot of my friends still had trianing wheels. It doesnt stop there neather. When I was also little, I knew some how that plants heal. I did my own biolagy by disecting worms and dead birds. It just fasanated me on how things worked.
My fastnation for space has grew over the years and I felt so close to it. I would often look up there and feel that there was a place out there some where that I belonged. Cents I could remember, I never considerd my father my father. He felt like a stranger, a random man in my life that my mom is married to. And becouse of that, it didnt help with our relationship. To me, espesholy when I was young, I felt it usless become close to him. As if hes not part of some plan. Not a vitale part of somthing in my life.
Over the years I grew spiriualy to. Becoming more sinsative to things around me and develuping abilaties that soon led me to crazyness.
It was in high school when all this happened. I was at my peak per say. I could locate any one my friends in school no matter where they be. I could see what I called energy around things and people. It had no color, it was clear to a very soft white color of electisaty. I could feel people's thoughts and feelings as well as hear them in my head. And space and time would often play games on me. It was so over whelming, it coused to much stress to where I started to have sersurs. I then lost thoughs abilaties or maybe they simply just turned off.
I often felt like I was the black sheep of this place. People would often look at me as if I had two heads. They could see there is somthing diffrent about me that they eather dont like or is afriad of. I would often feel this longing to want to go some where. I felt home sick and often try to kill my self to just end this crazyness. But my guide stoped me from trying to and even saved my life when a blade was a little to close to my vain.
But now as of two weeks ago, the normal feelings of longing and this want has increassed by 10x. I often would randomly brake down crying and feel this deep want. I try to medatate befor but it was just so strong, all I could do is lay on my bed and say "Home..home.." Its like a pull, a very very strong never ending pull. I started to have vistions of outer space to, more persifacly a galxy thats turning counter clock wise. I would also see faces of diffrent not very normal looking people. I also saw a symble of sagittarius. not sure what that was sapose to mean. I also started to feel like an intina. I was gianing infomation and giving infomation. I would look up in the night sky and become like a trance like state. Often times so deep, my friend thought I wasnt breathing. I do feel like somthing has turned on, but I simply dont know what. Alot of this I cant explain. And my pet gebill who I love so much and normaly a spunky but sweet girl, has now started to atack me. Its like she doesnt recanize me. Im not sure if its pur cawinsadice but she has never done that befor EVER!
Why am I posting this on here...is beyond me. Maybe in hopes to get some anwers. My mother did do a reading, warning me not to tell any one becouse posably no one would beleave me, but I am desprate for answers for help. I dont mind whats happening, I simply want to know whats going on.
One last thing is that I feel that I have some one out there who..in alot of ways I guess you can say its a deep love for him. But I dont know where he is or who. I just know he is out there. And the odd part of it all, when I was going to bed, I had a part of my comfater in my arms. I sundely felt like I had a child in my arms. I felt so close to this child. The odd thing also is, I dont want to have children. But yet it felt, feels that I do have one, some where...
So I am hoping I would find some one who may have gone threw this to, or is going threw it. And get some advice. A interpatation per say.
Now how I know its not a spirit matter, I dont know. I dont know what is going on. But I am seaking help from other areas just incase.
Let me begian when I was one. I was never a normal child. At the age of one I gain a fastanation with space and science. But the age of two or three I have learned and mimorize the constalations, planets and even some other gallexys. When I was the are of four I have self taught my self to write in cursive when alot of my clss mates was just begianing to write in normale print. I had this understanding of the adult world that no one could understand. And alot of times, it got me into truble. At age five I wrode a two wheel bike when alot of my friends still had trianing wheels. It doesnt stop there neather. When I was also little, I knew some how that plants heal. I did my own biolagy by disecting worms and dead birds. It just fasanated me on how things worked.
My fastnation for space has grew over the years and I felt so close to it. I would often look up there and feel that there was a place out there some where that I belonged. Cents I could remember, I never considerd my father my father. He felt like a stranger, a random man in my life that my mom is married to. And becouse of that, it didnt help with our relationship. To me, espesholy when I was young, I felt it usless become close to him. As if hes not part of some plan. Not a vitale part of somthing in my life.
Over the years I grew spiriualy to. Becoming more sinsative to things around me and develuping abilaties that soon led me to crazyness.
It was in high school when all this happened. I was at my peak per say. I could locate any one my friends in school no matter where they be. I could see what I called energy around things and people. It had no color, it was clear to a very soft white color of electisaty. I could feel people's thoughts and feelings as well as hear them in my head. And space and time would often play games on me. It was so over whelming, it coused to much stress to where I started to have sersurs. I then lost thoughs abilaties or maybe they simply just turned off.
I often felt like I was the black sheep of this place. People would often look at me as if I had two heads. They could see there is somthing diffrent about me that they eather dont like or is afriad of. I would often feel this longing to want to go some where. I felt home sick and often try to kill my self to just end this crazyness. But my guide stoped me from trying to and even saved my life when a blade was a little to close to my vain.
But now as of two weeks ago, the normal feelings of longing and this want has increassed by 10x. I often would randomly brake down crying and feel this deep want. I try to medatate befor but it was just so strong, all I could do is lay on my bed and say "Home..home.." Its like a pull, a very very strong never ending pull. I started to have vistions of outer space to, more persifacly a galxy thats turning counter clock wise. I would also see faces of diffrent not very normal looking people. I also saw a symble of sagittarius. not sure what that was sapose to mean. I also started to feel like an intina. I was gianing infomation and giving infomation. I would look up in the night sky and become like a trance like state. Often times so deep, my friend thought I wasnt breathing. I do feel like somthing has turned on, but I simply dont know what. Alot of this I cant explain. And my pet gebill who I love so much and normaly a spunky but sweet girl, has now started to atack me. Its like she doesnt recanize me. Im not sure if its pur cawinsadice but she has never done that befor EVER!
Why am I posting this on here...is beyond me. Maybe in hopes to get some anwers. My mother did do a reading, warning me not to tell any one becouse posably no one would beleave me, but I am desprate for answers for help. I dont mind whats happening, I simply want to know whats going on.
One last thing is that I feel that I have some one out there who..in alot of ways I guess you can say its a deep love for him. But I dont know where he is or who. I just know he is out there. And the odd part of it all, when I was going to bed, I had a part of my comfater in my arms. I sundely felt like I had a child in my arms. I felt so close to this child. The odd thing also is, I dont want to have children. But yet it felt, feels that I do have one, some where...
So I am hoping I would find some one who may have gone threw this to, or is going threw it. And get some advice. A interpatation per say.