Giving up alcohol

[Louisa]

I am feeling that maybe I should give up alcohol, because although I do not feel that I have much of a habit at this point, I don't know how quickly addiction can occur. Especially, I know alcoholism runs on one side of my family, and it seems I am discovering that I have a significant amount of Native American heritage. Native Americans, I've read, can have a gene which makes it more difficult for them to process alcohol and more prone to alcoholism.
I already suppose I have a bit of a habit, but I don't think it is very severe. I just fear that I may slip into real, serious addiction before I realize it, especially if I'm predisposed genetically.
Do you have any tips for stopping alcohol, or keeping it to a moderate level? Right now I have about 1 to 3 drinks most days, and I have a day or two per week without drinking. This doesn't seem like that much to me, but as I said, I am afraid I might be prone to alcoholism due to genetics, I don't know.

[Louisa]

I have a lot of stress in my life, which is why I use alcohol. It helps me keep from getting so irritable and angry, for one thing. It can seem to facilitate insights, too, sometimes, when I have some problem I need to think about. But I am wondering if there are other things to help me cope with these things. So that is specifically what I am looking for- other ways to cope with those problems.

[Seawolf]

I'm no expert, but if you're using alcohol to cope then that's generally considered having an addiction. It's like a disease in that it just gets worse over time, so best to stop while you can.

[Louisa]

Maybe it is a mild addiction. I have begun to think of drinking more often and at various times of the day sometimes, which I guess is a sign of physical dependency? That is why I want to stop. I don't want to chance becoming an alcoholic, as I know how destructive that can be.
Anyway, I think I can stop it without that much difficulty. But I want to try to stop before it does become too difficult to give it up.

[MYFIGO]

Hi Louisa!

If you really want to get away from the alcohol, you will. If you are not already addicted to it, you will be able to walk away from it just by deciding to. If you cannot walk away from it... it's already a problem.

I think from some of the statements you have made here, you would benefit from some professional counseling. Alcoholism is a disease... it is not a failure on your part in any way. It is bigger than an individual person and there is no disgrace in asking for help ... in the right places.

I don't believe I can offer the proper advice to help you stop drinking... but if you will consult someone who is professionally experienced to do so... I promise that I can help provide you with some better ways to deal with the stress and find that place where you can problem solve without alcohol.

PM me if you would like.

[Seawolf]

Maybe it is a mild addiction. I have begun to think of drinking more often and at various times of the day sometimes, which I guess is a sign of physical dependency? That is why I want to stop. I don't want to chance becoming an alcoholic, as I know how destructive that can be.
Anyway, I think I can stop it without that much difficulty. But I want to try to stop before it does become too difficult to give it up.
That's a great idea. Chances are if you quit now you'll have a much better future. I've been there and people that drink are not very happy generally. It doesn't actually help, it just puts off dealing with issues and makes them worse.

[Louisa]

Originally Posted by MYFIGO
If you really want to get away from the alcohol, you will. If you are not already addicted to it, you will be able to walk away from it just by deciding to. If you cannot walk away from it... it's already a problem.


I really do think I can give it up without that much difficulty. Addiction can be a murky subject, because there is no clearly defined physiological way to test or define it, that I know of. Psychological addiction is another thing, but I have had my share of experience coping with psychological problems and know I can do so, even if it not easy. I know, though, that physiological addiction can be a slippery slope. I guess I should just try to stop now, or cut back. Different people have different views on how this is best handled, but to be on the safe side, I think I will try to quit it totally, just because I feel it is like playing with fire, considering the possibility for genetic disposition to alcoholism and the fact that I've got enough to cope with already and slipping into using it as a dysfunctional coping mechanism could be too easy.

[Lightspirit]

Louisa alcohol is very addictive as you know, and a great stress reliever at the end of the day.
Damiana tea does the same thing and has a good enough kick to it that you can stop alcohol for that reason to do the same job. It doesn't have the after effects of hangover and weight gain and is cheap and legal.

http://www.ebay.com.au/sch/i.html?_kw=damiana&_kw=%28pure%29

[Louisa]

Originally Posted by Seawolf
That's a great idea. Chances are if you quit now you'll have a much better future. I've been there and people that drink are not very happy generally. It doesn't actually help, it just puts off dealing with issues and makes them worse.


I agree, Seawolf. I think my drinking is not that helpful with dealing with issues. It may occasionally help, but not enough to make it worthwhile. It is a form of putting off dealing with issues. Though that can seem helpful, it is certainly not a longterm coping method.

[Louisa]

Originally Posted by LightworkerAu
Louisa alcohol is very addictive as you know, and a great stress reliever at the end of the day.
Damiana tea does the same thing and has a good enough kick to it that you can stop alcohol for that reason to do the same job. It doesn't have the after effects of hangover and weight gain.

Thanks for the suggestion, LightworkerAu. I will try that.
And yes, I don't need the after effects of hangover, which sometimes affects me worse than the relaxing benefits of alcohol to begin with.

[Seawolf]

Different people have different views on how this is best handled, but to be on the safe side, I think I will try to quit it totally, just because I feel it is like playing with fire
It sure can be, especially if it's in your family background. It really is a good idea you've had, I would go with it. :smile:

[Henri77]

We all applaud your wisdom to do something before it becomes a serious issue.

[Louisa]

Thanks. :smile: I appreciate all of your support.

[simon]

I am feeling that maybe I should give up alcohol, because although I do not feel that I have much of a habit at this point, I don't know how quickly addiction can occur. Especially, I know alcoholism runs on one side of my family, and it seems I am discovering that I have a significant amount of Native American heritage. Native Americans, I've read, can have a gene which makes it more difficult for them to process alcohol and more prone to alcoholism.
I already suppose I have a bit of a habit, but I don't think it is very severe. I just fear that I may slip into real, serious addiction before I realize it, especially if I'm predisposed genetically.
Do you have any tips for stopping alcohol, or keeping it to a moderate level? Right now I have about 1 to 3 drinks most days, and I have a day or two per week without drinking. This doesn't seem like that much to me, but as I said, I am afraid I might be prone to alcoholism due to genetics, I don't know.

Drinking alcohol only gets more frequent as time goes on unless it is consciously controlled, as does cigarette smoking. if you don't give up then controlling your drinking is the way to go, whatever you do; being in charge of your own well being is important to you and those that love you :hug3:

[Jason72]

Heres a good book.

Easy Way to Control Alcohol

by Allen Carr

[Seawolf]

There was a group that tried to help alcoholics control their drinking instead of quitting entirely. It didn't last too long though, the founder killed himself in a drunk driving crash. Unfortunately control is not the way addiction works. People that can control their drinking are not alcoholics.

Alcoholics want to control their drinking because they're addicted and don't want to give it up. And they usually don't recognize they are alcoholics until the disease has progressed to the point that much in life has been lost. Denial is a very big part of alcoholism. That's not any great insight, it's pretty well understood by anyone familiar with it.

[Louisa]

Thanks, yes, I've seen some people try to control their alcohol intake and limit it. Sometimes it seems tempting, but I know I'm fooling myself, because the hangover is often worse than the drinking is helpful. And the drinking really isn't that helpful anyway. If I ever give in, I will try to only give in maybe once a week, but I still will feel like I've failed in a way. So I'm not setting that as my aim, it's just that if I find myself falling, I have to forgive myself and then make myself stop there, instead of sliding in deeper because of denial and apathy, giving up. There is degree of failure, though. But as long as I'm strong-willed and focused, I feel absolutely sure I can quit it entirely, and I'm confident that is what I should do, because I feel that I shouldn't take the risk of trying to be a moderate drinker. Some people may be able to do so. I might be able to, but it is too risky for me to try, because for me, I think it would be too difficult sometimes to resist. The habit has a tendency to escalate itself, physiologically, or to make you want more, because it didn't really fix your problems and you want that quick fix to numb things again. So I intend to really stop drinking, and I have done so pretty well, since I declared the intent.
Thanks for that book recommendation, Jason72.

[simon]

Thanks, yes, I've seen some people try to control their alcohol intake and limit it. Sometimes it seems tempting, but I know I'm fooling myself, because the hangover is often worse than the drinking is helpful. And the drinking really isn't that helpful anyway. If I ever give in, I will try to only give in maybe once a week, but I still will feel like I've failed in a way. So I'm not setting that as my aim, it's just that if I find myself falling, I have to forgive myself and then make myself stop there, instead of sliding in deeper because of denial and apathy, giving up. There is degree of failure, though. But as long as I'm strong-willed and focused, I feel absolutely sure I can quit it entirely, and I'm confident that is what I should do, because I feel that I shouldn't take the risk of trying to be a moderate drinker. Some people may be able to do so. I might be able to, but it is too risky for me to try, because for me, I think it would be too difficult sometimes to resist. The habit has a tendency to escalate itself, physiologically, or to make you want more, because it didn't really fix your problems and you want that quick fix to numb things again. So I intend to really stop drinking, and I have done so pretty well, since I declared the intent.
Thanks for that book recommendation, Jason72.

I'm so pleased you know where you want to go :hug3: :hug3:

[Charliemcsnarly]

I am feeling that maybe I should give up alcohol, because although I do not feel that I have much of a habit at this point, I don't know how quickly addiction can occur. Especially, I know alcoholism runs on one side of my family, and it seems I am discovering that I have a significant amount of Native American heritage. Native Americans, I've read, can have a gene which makes it more difficult for them to process alcohol and more prone to alcoholism.
I already suppose I have a bit of a habit, but I don't think it is very severe. I just fear that I may slip into real, serious addiction before I realize it, especially if I'm predisposed genetically.
Do you have any tips for stopping alcohol, or keeping it to a moderate level? Right now I have about 1 to 3 drinks most days, and I have a day or two per week without drinking. This doesn't seem like that much to me, but as I said, I am afraid I might be prone to alcoholism due to genetics, I don't know.

I cannot recommend this enough!! Alcohol destroys our awareness. If we even have a couple of glasses at the weekend, our mindfulness for the whole week gets severely diminished. We don't notice this when we do drink, so a lot of people will disagree.

I was like you, I had a bit of a habit, then a lot of a habit, then serious alcoholism. I'm not saying you will necessarily go that way, but I became more and more unaware of things until I was practically brain dead. I quit altogether 2 and a half years ago, six months down the line as my awareness started returning I had a very profound spiritual awakening that rocked my whole world. My awareness has continually got more and more profound and still continues. I can't even begin to describe the difference it has made to my mind, my reflection, memories, mindfulness, awareness, contemplation.

I encourage you to make the break.

edit, as you've probably guessed I would recommend the complete break, not just cutting down. The only tip I can really give you for this is to feel an inspiration from within to become a non drinker. It is more than a shift from something that is unhealthy. In my eyes, mine was a spiritual decision without knowing it. Don't expect massive changes, just be inspired to be free of it.

[nawaz]

reiki helps with addictions. i'd suggest finding a master you can trust and getting yourself up the levels :D good luck mate

[simon]

I cannot recommend this enough!! Alcohol destroys our awareness. If we even have a couple of glasses at the weekend, our mindfulness for the whole week gets severely diminished. We don't notice this when we do drink, so a lot of people will disagree.

I was like you, I had a bit of a habit, then a lot of a habit, then serious alcoholism. I'm not saying you will necessarily go that way, but I became more and more unaware of things until I was practically brain dead. I quit altogether 2 and a half years ago, six months down the line as my awareness started returning I had a very profound spiritual awakening that rocked my whole world. My awareness has continually got more and more profound and still continues. I can't even begin to describe the difference it has made to my mind, my reflection, memories, mindfulness, awareness, contemplation.

I encourage you to make the break.

edit, as you've probably guessed I would recommend the complete break, not just cutting down. The only tip I can really give you for this is to feel an inspiration from within to become a non drinker. It is more than a shift from something that is unhealthy. In my eyes, mine was a spiritual decision without knowing it. Don't expect massive changes, just be inspired to be free of it.

I think this is great advice, as I believe life is better without alcohol, I should really get rid of it too, I am prone to drinking but manage to control it to some degree, I also think it's genetic as my father has always had a drinking problem

Simon

[Louisa]

Originally Posted by Charliemcsnarly
I cannot recommend this enough!! Alcohol destroys our awareness. If we even have a couple of glasses at the weekend, our mindfulness for the whole week gets severely diminished. We don't notice this when we do drink, so a lot of people will disagree.

I was like you, I had a bit of a habit, then a lot of a habit, then serious alcoholism. I'm not saying you will necessarily go that way, but I became more and more unaware of things until I was practically brain dead. I quit altogether 2 and a half years ago, six months down the line as my awareness started returning I had a very profound spiritual awakening that rocked my whole world. My awareness has continually got more and more profound and still continues. I can't even begin to describe the difference it has made to my mind, my reflection, memories, mindfulness, awareness, contemplation.

I encourage you to make the break.

edit, as you've probably guessed I would recommend the complete break, not just cutting down. The only tip I can really give you for this is to feel an inspiration from within to become a non drinker. It is more than a shift from something that is unhealthy. In my eyes, mine was a spiritual decision without knowing it. Don't expect massive changes, just be inspired to be free of it.

Thanks.
I do think drinking may impact my mindfulness for days after, but I didn't consciously notice it. Looking back, though, I see how it kind of feels that way for me. Sometimes something that seems small can make a huge impact on mindfulness, but I won't really see it till after I've made the change.
I can see how this decision may impact my spirituality in many ways, so that does help me be more clear and committed in my intent.

[Louisa]

Originally Posted by nawaz
reiki helps with addictions. i'd suggest finding a master you can trust and getting yourself up the levels good luck mate

I'd like to try reiki. I have quite a bit of faith in energy healing. I wonder if I could do it on myself. I know it wouldn't be the same, but I don't know if I can afford it right now. Maybe one day. Anyway, I don't know if there would be any reiki masters where I live. Not much of an alternative health community here, I don't think. But if I ever move, and save the money up, sounds like a good thing to try.

[Louisa]

Originally Posted by simon
I believe life is better without alcohol, I should really get rid of it too, I am prone to drinking but manage to control it to some degree, I also think it's genetic as my father has always had a drinking problem

I think my problem is somewhat genetic too. That can make it so much more easy to become addicted, so much more difficult to get off of it. Alcoholism is scientifically shown to be strongly linked to genetics. I am thinking again about trying to control it, just as a temporary measure. Yet I consider this is not what I want to do in the long term, and I feel grateful that I think I have been able to keep the addiction from becoming too strong.
But if I was going to try to moderate it so to gradually quit, maybe that would help make it more manageable. I don't know. I've seen people try to do it, and battle it years and it's really hard to walk the balance. So sometimes quitting cold turkey could be better if one can do it. If I was going to try to quit gradually, I wonder what would be the best rate at which to try to quit. I said one day a week, but then I just drank one day a week, then I ended up drinking two days. I only drank because it seems to get me in a creative state. Just enough to let me loosen up, let go, and try to see outside my situation. But isn't it odd, I think in the long run, alcohol is making me more confined in my situation, less mindful, less insightful, less creative. At least if I use it too often. And unfortunately, I have to admit that I don't trust my own self-control and emotional stability to keep from falling back into overindulgence. Plus the genetic factor. I need to stay as far, far away, as possible. Hard to do when other people at my home drink and there's always a ready supply. Maybe I should put poison signs taped to the bottles. LOL Or maybe just do affirmations and visualizations, and try to get my intent strong and clear.

[Podshell]

Don't know if it has been mentioned but there may be free local groups like AA you could attend, there are ones of some sort for alcohol locally every day in my area.

[Louisa]

I don't have much time or a ride/ability to drive to go to AA meetings, or I might consider it, but I'd try to quit on my own a while first. I have a little baby to care for. But if it seemed I couldn't quit on my own, I could probably find a way to get a ride and attend AA meetings. I know it is really helpful for many people.

[Charliemcsnarly]

In my experienced opinion, you won't be able to moderate it. It is alcohol - you will go round in circles until you finally come to see that you have to let it go entirely, just as you said, one drink turns into two.

You do not need to cut it down either - only time you need to do this is if you are constantly drunk, as I was, then you need to taper it down over a few days or a week.

Please don't believe the genetic thing, your very belief will make it tougher. And the genetic thing is absolute **, I don't care what so called scientists say. It is entirely a psychological matter. You do not need AA either, I didn't.

I was drinking around 5 bottles of wine a day, everyday, and I often hit the spirits too. And I quit dead, apart from 3 days tapering down with low percentage beer. So I think you will find it dead easy so long as you know within that you are to be a non drinker. Or should I say, already ARE a non drinker :smile: You just gotta know within.

[Seawolf]

People are different and have different experiences. I wouldn't presume to tell someone they are or aren't an alcoholic, whether it's genetic or not, or if they should go to AA or not. One thing is clear to me though, alcoholism is extremely crafty. The addiction will cause you to believe what it wants you to believe. I've had a couple of friends die of alcoholism/drug addiction, and they believed they were going to be able to control it all the way til the end.

[7luminaries]

Loisa, I think Seawolf has offered very sage advice. If you can drink in moderation and you can take or leave it, then that's one thing.
If you are prone to it genetically, though, I'd say it is best to avoid it altogether. Why risk the damage to your health?

Also, whilst it's true for men there are some heart & health benefits primarily attached to red wine or grape juice (1 glass/day)...but let's be honest, how many gents (outside Mediterranean countries ;) consume wine versus beer or spirits, which are not nearly as heart-healthy aside from the immediate effect of alcohol itself on bringing down heart rate temporarily? Of course this all applies only to those who can handle alcohol.

Interestingly, this is not the case for women, who do not process alcohol as men do. Studies have shown more than 1-2 glasses/week are associated with higher likelihood of either health ailments or death, not certain what they were measuring. But it wasn't the same rosy outcome as for gents.

Something else to consider...several recent studies have found that women who drink heavily on a regular basis, or who binge drink, etc. are much more likely to suffer permanent cognitive damage and personality changes than are men.

But the bottom line is that a daily glass of wine (not beer or spirits, LOL) for women was not associated with greater health benefits. Your Friday night glass with prayers at family dinner is enough, LOL :wink: . Or Sunday, etc. And if you are like me, you can only manage a few sips of the real thing...darn it...so just pass the grape juice :tongue:

You may even be able to model healthier behaviour to your loved ones while you do what is best for you.
All the best to you :hug3:

peace & blessings,
7L

[LadyTerra]

I'd like to try reiki. I have quite a bit of faith in energy healing. I wonder if I could do it on myself. I know it wouldn't be the same, but I don't know if I can afford it right now. Maybe one day. Anyway, I don't know if there would be any reiki masters where I live. Not much of an alternative health community here, I don't think. But if I ever move, and save the money up, sounds like a good thing to try.

You can teach yourself to do Reiki. A great place to start is with Diane Stein's book "Essential Reiki".

It contains step by step instructions--along with a 30 day self cleansing technique that I have used (personally)! Good luck!!!:hug:

Peace and Love on your path to Total Healing...

Blessed be...

[Louisa]

I really do feel certain I can quit if I put my mind to it. The only thing is I have a hard time making up my mind. And I can procrastinate. Then if I'm too confused, mentally scattered, or emotionally and mentally depleted and lethargic, I can just stop trying. I chose to drink two nights in a row, instead of the one night I told myself, because I thought it would help me in some significant way. Yet, it did in some way. But I know I can and will quit, and for now I will quit completely. I think I will quit completely for the long term, and if I want some other mind-altering experience, maybe herbal teas. (I am going to order some of that damiana tea, but haven't done so yet). Some herbal teas really have a strong and profound effect on me, I have found.
The power to delude ourselves and be in denial is unfortunately strong and elaborate in humans. Intelligence, focus and willpower cannot always override it, I have seen brilliant and wonderful, wise people destroyed this way. I am not sure I am immune to deluding myself this way, so I better stay away. I definitely don't want to impair my mind and health with this either.
Thanks for the book reccomendation, LadyTerra. I will look into it. I am also going to do some other energy healing methods. I have little time to do all the things I want to do to try to heal myself, but I know I can make the time. It just means giving up my precious time for reading, writing, and such. But I think I am clear and strong in intention now, so it is time to proceed.
Thanks so much for all the thoughtful support, everyone. It helped when my motivation and clarity was waning.

[Lightspirit]

I cannot recommend this enough!! Alcohol destroys our awareness. If we even have a couple of glasses at the weekend, our mindfulness for the whole week gets severely diminished. We don't notice this when we do drink, so a lot of people will disagree.

I was like you, I had a bit of a habit, then a lot of a habit, then serious alcoholism. I'm not saying you will necessarily go that way, but I became more and more unaware of things until I was practically brain dead. I quit altogether 2 and a half years ago, six months down the line as my awareness started returning I had a very profound spiritual awakening that rocked my whole world. My awareness has continually got more and more profound and still continues. I can't even begin to describe the difference it has made to my mind, my reflection, memories, mindfulness, awareness, contemplation.

I encourage you to make the break.

edit, as you've probably guessed I would recommend the complete break, not just cutting down. The only tip I can really give you for this is to feel an inspiration from within to become a non drinker. It is more than a shift from something that is unhealthy. In my eyes, mine was a spiritual decision without knowing it. Don't expect massive changes, just be inspired to be free of it. I like your post I think it is encouraging.

[Silver]

I've been reading this thread because I have a dear neighbor who's become an alcoholic long before I met him and everyone he knows who isn't involved in drinking wants so much for him to get clean - we're all talented and we deserve to have a better life.....I want to mention a book that I stumbled upon that can help, called The Sedona Method. So far, I'm quite impressed by it. Best wishes to you, Louisa.

[Stillness_Speaks]

I'd like to try reiki. I have quite a bit of faith in energy healing. I wonder if I could do it on myself. I know it wouldn't be the same, but I don't know if I can afford it right now. Maybe one day. Anyway, I don't know if there would be any reiki masters where I live. Not much of an alternative health community here, I don't think. But if I ever move, and save the money up, sounds like a good thing to try.

I practice Qigong every day, no master or money needed. Stress relief, energy healing and spirituality, all in one package :)

[Charliemcsnarly]

People are different and have different experiences. I wouldn't presume to tell someone they are or aren't an alcoholic, whether it's genetic or not, or if they should go to AA or not. One thing is clear to me though, alcoholism is extremely crafty. The addiction will cause you to believe what it wants you to believe. I've had a couple of friends die of alcoholism/drug addiction, and they believed they were going to be able to control it all the way til the end.

Yes, alcohol is very crafty, and yes it does play with the mind. I agree everyone is different, but alcohol isn't. It's the same with everyone, and this:
. . .
I really do feel certain I can quit if I put my mind to it. The only thing is I have a hard time making up my mind. And I can procrastinate. Then if I'm too confused, mentally scattered, or emotionally and mentally depleted and lethargic, I can just stop trying. I chose to drink two nights in a row, instead of the one night I told myself, because I thought it would help me in some significant way. Yet, it did in some way. But I know I can and will quit, and for now I will quit completely.

is exactly what started me off. The hard time making up my mind, the procrastination, lethargy and confusion etc, and I thought it would help me out in some way. I only drank a bit each evening too.

Louisa I'm not saying you're going the same way as I did, but it's really up to you which way you go. It's not up to genetics, it's up to you. All I'm encouraging you to do is to see how crafty it is, as seawolf says.

As for the herbal teas, yes, you will become more sensitive anyway if you quit things that desensitize you such as alcohol and they may work better. About 6 months after I had quit, I started smoking cannabis. It had a profoundly healing effect on my body and mind. It allowed me to face my past with a heightened awareness, allowing me to grow. I only use it rarely now, it very much served it's purpose for me. Obviously I'm not recommending this, you will know what is right for you. Just as you will know if AA, yoga, Qigong, reiki, anything is right for you.

Just don't replace booze with another 'escapism' drug. Escapism isn't the answer.

[Louisa]

Thanks for the book recommendation, Silvergirl.
Stillness_Speaks, I might try that. I've done a bit of yoga and like it, but I think I feel more drawn to qi gong.
Charliemcsnarly, you're right, not making up my mind, procrastination, and feeling like I'm too tired or not strong enough - that is the problem.
And alcohol is definitely tricky. I will not let these things be an excuse, because otherwise it could carry on forever and get progressively worse. Hmm.. Story of my life. No, not really. I've done good things with my life, but procrastinated and doubted where and how to do what I wanted to do far too often. So, I do think this is a spiritual decision, and a decision to love my family. This is part of the whole constellation of things that I want to do to be who I really am. I know I can do it. So thanks for all the support.

[LadyTerra]

I really do feel certain I can quit if I put my mind to it. The only thing is I have a hard time making up my mind. And I can procrastinate. Then if I'm too confused, mentally scattered, or emotionally and mentally depleted and lethargic, I can just stop trying. I chose to drink two nights in a row, instead of the one night I told myself, because I thought it would help me in some significant way. Yet, it did in some way. But I know I can and will quit, and for now I will quit completely. I think I will quit completely for the long term, and if I want some other mind-altering experience, maybe herbal teas. (I am going to order some of that damiana tea, but haven't done so yet). Some herbal teas really have a strong and profound effect on me, I have found.
The power to delude ourselves and be in denial is unfortunately strong and elaborate in humans. Intelligence, focus and willpower cannot always override it, I have seen brilliant and wonderful, wise people destroyed this way. I am not sure I am immune to deluding myself this way, so I better stay away. I definitely don't want to impair my mind and health with this either.
Thanks for the book reccomendation, LadyTerra. I will look into it. I am also going to do some other energy healing methods. I have little time to do all the things I want to do to try to heal myself, but I know I can make the time. It just means giving up my precious time for reading, writing, and such. But I think I am clear and strong in intention now, so it is time to proceed.
Thanks so much for all the thoughtful support, everyone. It helped when my motivation and clarity was waning.

You are very welcome!:hug:

I am (also) a certified natural health consultant--w/ a knack for blending herbal teas. A great combination to help you relax and induce a good night's sleep is Scullcap mixed w/ Peppermint Tea, please use this combination only when you are settling in for the night and never before operating a moving vehicle.

I hope this helps.:wink:

Peace and Love on your path to Total Healing...

Blessed be...

[Charliemcsnarly]

So, I do think this is a spiritual decision, and a decision to love my family. This is part of the whole constellation of things that I want to do to be who I really am. I know I can do it. So thanks for all the support.

I agree, I wish you all the very best!

[Louisa]

I've never tried skullcap, but I like peppermint. It always seems to make me feel mellow. Thanks for the recommendation, LadyTerra.

Thank you, Charliemcsnarly.

I am going to be taking a few days, to a few weeks, maybe even a few months, but I'll see how it goes, to just try to be mindful, focus on clearing out distractions and bad habits and developing the good habits I've been wanting to work on. I feel I need to cut out most of the reading, writing, and forum-reading, too, since I have a very busy baby who demands most of my time and energy, so I will make a little self-made retreat and only write on this forum a little bit meanwhile.

[angeliclove689]

need 1 post for chat

[Newfreedom9]

I'm so proud of you! I recently decided not to drink any more either. I didn't drink a lot, maybe one glass, twice a week. But I felt like I should stop. It does make the body more acidic, which isn't good for it. Plus it made me really foggy-headed the next 2 days after drinking (and like I said I only had one glass of wine!). I didn't notice the foggy headedness before because I was always foggy headed (found out gluten does that to me too). Once I cut those things out I've felt much better. :smile:

[Louisa]

I think gluten makes me foggy-headed too, NewFreedom. I think all kinds of additives do too. I am still trying to track down all the things that make me feel imbalanced, and all the things I need to feel balanced. It is so complicated, but I still probably need to completely cut out gluten, probably caffeine too, and several other things. I have removed most processed food from my diet, and feel worlds better because of it. I want to eat more organic food, but it is so high. I want to become a vegetarian as well and eliminate milk (maybe still have cheese/yogurt), but I seem imbalanced when I try to do without meat, so I'm still working out the details before I go vegetarian.
Good on you for quitting drinking and gluten! Blessings on your path to health and healing. :hug3:

[Louisa]

Another thing I have read about but I haven't tried personally is kudzu root - it's supposed to reduce alcohol cravings. I don't know all the details. Studies are conflicting, and I don't know how much/what form to take, but it's supposed to be nontoxic and safe.

[Newfreedom9]

lol! I eat mostly vegetarian too. I cut out gluten, dairy, corn, soy and peanuts for the most part because they're known allergens (to people in general) so I thought it might help. I started buying organic a few years ago, and would totally recommend it. I read that organic food have greater quantities of good nutrients then conventionally grown. So when you think of it like price per nutrient, it's not a bad deal! ;) If you just want to start small, you could start buying some things like apples organically. They have the highest amount of pesticides.

[Louisa]

I still eat some food allergens, but I definitely feel worse when I eat lots of them. And yet, with some foods that are considered food allergens, I feel better in some ways when I eat them in moderation. Maybe they're not all bad, for me. I have eliminated heavily sprayed foods from my diet, mostly. I felt really bad after eating them and eventually traced that down. But I also felt bad from eating foods that were not known to be heavily sprayed or allergens. So now I have a list of foods I've identified that I can eat regularly, somewhat regularly, or never, or in what quantities before I get a reaction (foggy-headedness, headaches, etc.) But I still suffer symptoms, so I haven't worked it all out yet. I don't know if I ever completely will. Maybe the modern grocery store diet (even of whole "healthy" food) just doesn't create the right balance my body needs. I can't afford all organic food now, unless I really cut back on other spending (since I am frugal and buy only occasional, fairly cheap "luxuries", I don't know if I can come up with the money to go organic). I have heavy necessary expenses in other areas and also save for retirement, emergency funds, my daughter's college. But for anyone who can afford organic, I think it is a great idea and maybe one day I will be free of some of the expenses I now have to pay and do so. I'd like to have a garden, and grow my own food. Now I live in an apartment with a shaded balcony, so its not doable, but fresh home-grown vegetables are the most vital. A lot of the produce at my local health food store doesn't look so fresh. I have had some strange effects after eating certain organic food and am even a little suspicious about some of the organic pesticides used, but then maybe it was a coincidence. I still want to try going organic, and see how it affects me over the long term, one day.

[Louisa]

I think alcohol can be a kind of food allergen. Maybe that might have something to do with it being more addictive for some people? Because food allergens can create cravings, and cravings can be a clue to what one is allergic to. Sometimes the allergic reaction isn't severe enough for one to recognize the reaction, unless you try doing without the substance and then see that there was a reaction, even if it seemed like the said substance was making you feel better. I used to be unable to tolerate alcohol, for a few years, because it made me sick and achy if I drank just a little. Then somehow that changed and I could drink it and enjoy it. Strange.

[BodhiChan]

I am feeling that maybe I should give up alcohol, because although I do not feel that I have much of a habit at this point, I don't know how quickly addiction can occur. Especially, I know alcoholism runs on one side of my family, and it seems I am discovering that I have a significant amount of Native American heritage. Native Americans, I've read, can have a gene which makes it more difficult for them to process alcohol and more prone to alcoholism.
I already suppose I have a bit of a habit, but I don't think it is very severe. I just fear that I may slip into real, serious addiction before I realize it, especially if I'm predisposed genetically.
Do you have any tips for stopping alcohol, or keeping it to a moderate level? Right now I have about 1 to 3 drinks most days, and I have a day or two per week without drinking. This doesn't seem like that much to me, but as I said, I am afraid I might be prone to alcoholism due to genetics, I don't know.

Good for you for being brave enough to not only recognize but also share your problem. I believe you do have a problem but you have taken the first big step to resolving it. I was a hardcore alcoholic for many years. I finally overcame my addiction when I developed a different way to "cope" with life by developing and following a "Spiritual Development Plan" to include this website.

Daily affirmations, prayer, and meditation is part of my plan. Reading/studying Metaphysics has been a huge help as well. You most likely will find that you will need to make difficult choices regarding your current lifestyle as well as who you spend time with including "friends" and family....if you are serious about truly resolving your situation. I could go on and on but for now congratulations again to you!

Namaste,

Bodhi

[Newfreedom9]

I'm sorry you can't grow a garden where you are. :hug3: I have a little one here. Since I've been married I've grown at least my own tomatoes during the summer. Home grown tomatoes are amazing! This year we actually have a house now and I'm able to grow more. The sugar snap peas are coming on, and they are wonderful. I wish I'd planted a ton of them, cause I could eat them all day. lol

[Louisa]

Bodhi, I am now at a point of trying to begin a new direction spiritually, trying to gather my inner resources and collect the energy to really move forward. And to feel more confidence in myself and in a realistic vision of where I, as an individual, feel that I fit and am happy in my life in the world. I don't know where, when or how the path will go, so I will try to have a much clearer conviction before I begin, but now I am at the silent pause and reflection stage, just trying to retreat and gather the clarity and insight to recognize what to do. Maybe meditation will help me see the things I sense are buried somewhere deep in my subconscious, confusing and obscuring part of the solution. Till I deal with the hidden problems, I think I'm not really ready to make any dramatic changes and leave behind my support system of friends and family, though they are often cold and judgmental and I cannot be myself with them.
Maybe some other means of accessing subconscious or unconscious information could help me too. Or working with energy, which affects subtle things like that (energy exercises, feng shui, energy healing). Anyway, I have a lot of ideas of things that might help, and however long it takes, I will have a lot to teach and share when I am able to move forward at last, about how I overcame a million problems, so maybe I can help others overcome their problems too. That's what I hope for at least.

[Louisa]

Newfreedom, I used to have a garden. Mmm... I miss the home-grown tomatoes, basil, fennel and dill the most! I love sugar snap peas too! I agree I could snack on them all day. Yummy! lol

[Podshell]

Know this threads not been active for some time and sorry if these things have already been asked but does anyone know where I can get Kudzu from on the high street in the UK , is it stocked by western herbalists/healthfood stores under a different name? I also am trying non GM soya lecithin at the moment to see if it will have any effect on my bad nerves, but it is quite expensive from the only place I know where to get it, which is Holland and Baratts , 250g for about £7, would places that sell specialist cookery ingredients stock it?

[IfOnlyIHadWingZ]

Hi there,

I think personally if your asking yourself if you have a problem with alcohol you probably do.

I know myself....I asked that same question.....then i ended up in some big trouble with it, shameful but truthful here, i incoherently drove drunk,(isolated incident) hit a telephone pole, parked car and ended up in the ditch. And s******* my truck. The drivers side was completely bashed in I had angles above watching over me because no one understands how I didn't get hurt or kill myself. Or someone else. It was also freezing rain that night so the roads were horrible.

At first I didn't think I had a problem....I was a weekend drinker, I hold a good job. Hell, I just like whiskey. And then this happened. May 4th.... (one of my lowest points was sitting in the jail cell, they took my bra, I had a zip up hoodie and leggings on sitting on a cement slab behind bars...by this time I was sobering up, my hoodie kept coming up on my sides and i was freezing behind bars...I knew I was far down in the hole). My Cousin picked me up from jail and took away all my perception medications as I was feeling at one of my lowest points, grabbed all the booze out of my reach and told me to go to sleep. I was feeling still so low, when she went and told my parents (as im living with her for the current moment) what I had done they obviously reacted badly. But they knew I was on a path of self destruction. So they told her I should probably go to the hospital...and after just getting out of the hospital a month and a half before for depression and suicidal tendencies, they knew I needed to go back, and I agreed. I was scared to be alone, I didnt know what I was capable of anymore.

So I stayed at the hospital for three days. There were no beds on the adult mental health ward so they discharged me to a crisis house. I had no idea what this meant, I was so angry at the doctor for discharging me knowing well I needed some kind of help and bad. So I waited....and this really peaceful native lady approaches me about an hour later and says "I hear your not happy to be coming with me". And I told her I didn't know where I was going, if there was a phone I could use to call my family and boyfriend. But agreed to go along... I was going to take any help I could get....I get to the parking lot and start crying saying I am so scared I don't know where I'm going and I felt helpless. She offered to take me for coffee I kindly declined saying I don't really drink coffee. Well then she said well, now I'm going to take you for groceries. And I said but I lost my debit card a few days back. She said....WE ARE GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. So I stayed with the crisis workers 24hrs a day for 4 days. They saved my life. They got me in with some local counselling, and got me the AA schedule which I had asked for. I wanted to go to a meeting to see what it was all about.

I have attended 8 meetings in 8 days and been sober for 14 days. I love going to AA, the stories you hear are so moving, and the people are so supportive, and loving. I am lucky, one lady has taken me under her wing a bit and has been guiding me through, she gave me her telephone number the first meeting I went to. And I used it. I'm going to keep going to meetings every day as I feel so much peace after I have attended one.

I know I still have lots to go through with my recovery (and the court system - which is so scary) but in this time I keep grounding myself by remembering where my feet are in this moment. If I look in the past, I get all twisted up and shameful, and regret alot of things, and I look to the future I get scared because the court ultimately will decide my fate. So in this moment, my feet are on my bed, and I am writing to you. Hoping in some way my story can reach you before you end up in a situation that could turn out fatal...as mine could have.

I had to stop hanging out with the "best friends" I have hung out with for the last six years completely. I now eat clean too (did before I knew I had a problem with alcohol but heck, whats the point of eating good when your just filling your body with toxic ****!) I woke up yesterday morning sober and went to the farmers market, and just loved every minute of it. This morning I got up early and went for a good breakfast with a married couple who are sober, then we went to the local greenhouse. I felt I was in fairy land. It was magical. I'm looking at things differently....the world is a beautiful place sober if you choose it to be. Only you can make that choice.

I know I shared alot here, and I hope no one judges as I am trying to do the right thing, connecting with my higher power, through prayer and meditation, and waking up everyday thankful to be fully coherent and alive.

Much white light and love to you. I wish you well.

[Louisa]

Podshell, I don't know where to get them in the UK. I think I'd have to order it online, I don't know if they're sold in the stores where I live.
By the way, I found out that kudzu works to reduce alcohol cravings after you've already begun drinking. It reduces the amount of cravings when you've already started drinking, not beforehand.

[Louisa]

IfOnlyIHadWingZ,

Thank you for sharing your story! It is inspiring and helpful to hear and I am really needing to look again at my own alcohol intake again, though its been months since I originally was struggling with this. I reached a point where I had mostly quit drinking, then started again, then I got it on a kind of schedule where I feel I'm moderate now, but I think I need to quit. Because I am afraid if enough bad things happened in my life, I might just lose all moderation. I am facing many challenges and the last thing I need is an addictions looming in the future, tempting me just when everything else seems too hard to bear.

I like what you say about remembering where your feet are. That's something I need to think about more too. :smile:

You are strong to seek out help and its something many are afraid or feel unable to do. Blessings to you.

I wish you well too!

[Louisa]

Oh and eating better, yes that's something I need to do now too, and I know what you mean about not caring how you eat when you drink. It all goes together. One area of dis-integrity seems to compromise my motivation and faith in the rest, so I'm trying to find all the areas of my life that need change and gradually changing them all. Committing to changing them, and by little steps, at least. In spirituality, relationships, emotional health, my everyday life.

And yes, I'm finding the world a beautiful place, when I can get to that space of appreciating it and being in the moment and being healthy, physically and psychologically. One step at a time and this too shall pass. It's amazing what an impact what we put in our bodies has on everything else, so no wonder that many traditional spiritual paths begin by purifying the body and creating physical health.

[Blueberry]

In my experience I first found alcohol as a confident buster. I would drink when out with friends and at parties as I was quite shy and it gave me a boost. Later in life when some traumas occurred I used it to relax, to stop the monkey mind of negativity. Before I knew it, it became the only way to cope. When I was excited and happy, have a drink. When I was down and depressed, have a drink. When I was bored and lonely, have a drink. In some people it can become your best friend and your worst nightmare. Even when I was diagnosed with a disease it didn't not stop me, although my logical mind said it should. I could not understand why I would want to do that to myself, but still continued. I have always wondered what ''life" is all about and why we are here and why people do the things they do. I started studying quantum physics and some of it made some sense and parts baffled me. I meditate and attempt to connect on a daily basis. Steps forward steps back... So beautiful one, my opinion would be stop, just stop. It really does not connect us to our higher selves, universe or whatever you believe in, it actually blocks us. I read just recently, if you want change, be prepared to feel uncomfortable. Its not always easy, that will depend on a persons attitude, but very possible. Sending love your way x

[Louisa]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and I agree very much, Blueberry.
And I've stopped now, it really does make me feel so much better overall.

[Kenneath]

Hi Louisa,
To deal with stress take deep breath in open air,start some light exercises on regular basis and drink enough water. Eat a well balanced diet plan and if you do not eat well take multivitamin regularly. Share your problems with your family members and pals and remember to laugh. Avoid caffeine, alcohol and other stimulants and have proper sleep.

[Louisa]

Hi Louisa,
To deal with stress take deep breath in open air,start some light exercises on regular basis and drink enough water. Eat a well balanced diet plan and if you do not eat well take multivitamin regularly. Share your problems with your family members and pals and remember to laugh. Avoid caffeine, alcohol and other stimulants and have proper sleep.

Thanks Kenneath. Much good advice. I have started to do some of those things and it really has helped. I used to do deep belly breathing and it got me to this really blissful state, but since then when I've tried it hasn't had the same effect, but I may try deep breathing again.

[running]

I have a lot of stress in my life, which is why I use alcohol. It helps me keep from getting so irritable and angry, for one thing. It can seem to facilitate insights, too, sometimes, when I have some problem I need to think about. But I am wondering if there are other things to help me cope with these things. So that is specifically what I am looking for- other ways to cope with those problems.

It sounds like you drink about what i used to drink when i would. But i was more so in that i used to smoke pot habitualy. I got sick of both over time when i took up meditation.

Meditation in itself helped me. But finding someone to meditate with that has grown out energeticall is the key i feel. At least it was for me. The hard part was finding someone who made sense to me. Pretty much everyone seems to have things to sell which is understandable. But if whats being sold doesnt fit for me i have to walk away eventually. Over time i found someone who fits and that made quite a bit of difference.

The whole point im getting at is meditation can replace the void that was being filled. Or the destressing. Because it can bring peace and intoxication. Eventually leading to being so continually. Then drinking and such becomez pointless. I still drink once in a while. But now its funny because im already drunk in a sense. The other day i drank a half a bottle of tequilia and got nothing much out of it. Except becoming tired and a bit of a hangover the next day. Kind of pointless. So i do but its about once every couple month. Kind of a social once in a while thing.

[running]

And of course exercise if your not already doing it could help i feel. It would of helped me except that is one thing i have hardly ever been without. Meaning if anything i needed to cut back. But if i didnt exercise and started to i think it would of helped me.

I used to be hardcore about exercise. But now all i do is jog a couple times a week and do pushups every other day. Averaging out to maybe ten minutes a day. Instead of an hour plus before. Ten minutes is plenty i found. Im in great shape and dont have to waste time and money going to a gym. Walking is awesome to! I feel anything that gets the body, lungs and heart moving is great i feel.

[Louisa]

running,

Meditation is something I want to try too. I hadn't thought about finding someone to meditate with who has a higher energy level. I could see how that could help for sure. I think I will try meditation and see how it goes for me. It's been something that I've wanted to do for a while. I did used to meditate using breath meditations and got that kind of peaceful, intoxicated feeling like you say and no matter what was going on around me it didn't seem like too much and I just felt serene.

Yes, I used to not get what was so great about alcohol. I think my energy was higher when I was younger so the buzz didn't seem so great compared to my natural highs and giddiness. Over the years it affected me differently. For years, I developed some kind of allergy to it and it made me sick after a drink or two. Then I could tolerate it again. Then it had more appeal to me, but it's now lost its appeal mostly because it has so many side effects for me that I don't like. I have more aches and pains for days afterwards and it interferes with my mindfulness and seems to put me in a much worse mood for days after. I only realized this after observing closely over time.

I really like exercise, and it does seem to make me feel better than most other things. I used to walk for hours a day but now just a short walk is all I've time for. It helps a lot. Getting sunlight helps too. I look forward to having more time to walk for hours a day one day again.

[Castles]

I am feeling that maybe I should give up alcohol, because although I do not feel that I have much of a habit at this point, I don't know how quickly addiction can occur. Especially, I know alcoholism runs on one side of my family, and it seems I am discovering that I have a significant amount of Native American heritage. Native Americans, I've read, can have a gene which makes it more difficult for them to process alcohol and more prone to alcoholism.
I already suppose I have a bit of a habit, but I don't think it is very severe. I just fear that I may slip into real, serious addiction before I realize it, especially if I'm predisposed genetically.
Do you have any tips for stopping alcohol, or keeping it to a moderate level? Right now I have about 1 to 3 drinks most days, and I have a day or two per week without drinking. This doesn't seem like that much to me, but as I said, I am afraid I might be prone to alcoholism due to genetics, I don't know.

Louisa, I can relate to you here. Truth be told I am a moderate/heavy drinker. I do it to relax at home (sometimes alone) and until recently also drank socially. When I drink I do not feel comfortable unless I know I enough to make sure I feel as though I've had one - and for a while I felt as though I had a secret problem.

The honest conclusion I've come to is that I wasn't someone with a problem, but someone who was bored and using it's effects as a distraction and as an anesthetic. Perhaps you are not someone with an issue but are you perhaps bored in any way? Are you stuck in a routine?

I don't think alcohol is a bad thing in and of itself. Everything in moderation :)

[chester2103]

Totally agree with Castles that alcohol is not a bad thing and everything in moderation but it can creep up on you very quickly so be careful. I speak from experience as only last week we buried my darling brother in his early 40's. He never drank until 10 yrs ago basically out of boredom and loneliness but it quickly got hold of him until he couldnt see that he had a problem. He always blamed something else for his illness. Unfortunately it took him over and he passed away last week. Too young to die

[psychoslice]

Alcohol can be fun, I brew my own beer and spirits, I think if you can't handle it, or are addicted to it, then you need to do something about it. Anything can be addictive, cake, sugar, smoking and a million other things, alcohol in itself is not bad, its how you use it.

[Louisa]

Louisa, I can relate to you here. Truth be told I am a moderate/heavy drinker. I do it to relax at home (sometimes alone) and until recently also drank socially. When I drink I do not feel comfortable unless I know I enough to make sure I feel as though I've had one - and for a while I felt as though I had a secret problem.

The honest conclusion I've come to is that I wasn't someone with a problem, but someone who was bored and using it's effects as a distraction and as an anesthetic. Perhaps you are not someone with an issue but are you perhaps bored in any way? Are you stuck in a routine?

I don't think alcohol is a bad thing in and of itself. Everything in moderation :)

I think boredom could be a part of it. I don't know if I had a problem, but I have seen so many people who under stress quickly escalated their alcohol use and then could never seem to stop, so that's what I was really afraid of, plus that they say a woman's ability to process alcohol is about half that of men's, I think, and also it varies depending on individuals, so some people are more likely to become addicted.

It was a combination of factors, and yes boredom was a part of it. So that's a good point. I agree that alcohol is not always bad, not for everyone. But I do think I'm better off without it now that I've had enough time to see how it affects me.

[Louisa]

Totally agree with Castles that alcohol is not a bad thing and everything in moderation but it can creep up on you very quickly so be careful. I speak from experience as only last week we buried my darling brother in his early 40's. He never drank until 10 yrs ago basically out of boredom and loneliness but it quickly got hold of him until he couldnt see that he had a problem. He always blamed something else for his illness. Unfortunately it took him over and he passed away last week. Too young to die

Chester, I am so sorry about your brother. :icon_frown: And I agree with you. It is sometimes difficult to see how fast a habit is escalating or to stop it, so I am going to try to avoid all habit-forming substances, because not only can they creep up on you like this, but some people are more addictive than others. It's really not something I wish to mess with.

[Louisa]

Alcohol can be fun, I brew my own beer and spirits, I think if you can't handle it, or are addicted to it, then you need to do something about it. Anything can be addictive, cake, sugar, smoking and a million other things, alcohol in itself is not bad, its how you use it.

I agree, psychoslice, and in fact, I have decided to cut out even sugar and things like that because they can be very addictive (I believe science is proving they are as addictive as drugs). They even kill people, diabetes, etc. But I have found that I feel much better when I'm without addictive substances, even sugar, because I feel much healthier in the long run, after using a diet journal and noting how I feel over time, I really saw this.

[running]

I agree, psychoslice, and in fact, I have decided to cut out even sugar and things like that because they can be very addictive (I believe science is proving they are as addictive as drugs). They even kill people, diabetes, etc. But I have found that I feel much better when I'm without addictive substances, even sugar, because I feel much healthier in the long run, after using a diet journal and noting how I feel over time, I really saw this.

Often times i felt i was doing worse for myself from a soda than a beer. Today society looks down upon alcohol. While sucking down sodas, and other sugary substances like it was going out of style.

[paperdream92]

Hey Louisa! First off: I have an addictive personality. I've known this for a while and although alcohol was never my choice of poison, I definitely would over indulge in it when the opportunity was available. Very recently, I've decided that keeping drugs in my life was just a no-go (I was on pain meds for nerve damage and HATED it, also smoked mary jane regularly and cigarettes). About 6 months ago, I decided to manifest a person who would bring joy and love into my life. This ended up happening and she pushed me to truly cut everything out. Gave me a lot of self-efficacy and sense of capability.

I first started off cutting out alcohol (as in binge drinking, on the rare occasion I have a couple drinks at dinner with friends -- drinking on your own should never happen). For me, this was pretty easy to do. Next was cutting out cigarettes, which is still pretty hard but I've since switched to E-cigs, which I prefer anyways :). Quitting marijuana was a whole different story and came with a lot of withdrawals and moments where I would cry for hours on end. This goes away and with meditation and aligning your chakras at ANY time you feel like you're a bit unstable. I find myself doing this 3-5 times a day. In the end, I feel way stronger and more in control of myself and my emotions.

Sometimes, it's good to explore the emotions that are triggering your coping style. Even if that means calling up a friend and bawling for an hour. It won't last forever and every time you DON'T pick up a drink, you'll feel better for it :). I've only been doing this for the past month or so (okay, truly committed to July being my first no-excuse month clean), but every day I feel better and better. Even picked up biking 65+ miles a week and got back into lifting! The more you do things that make you feel positive, the more life just seems to be going your way.

Also sugar is the devil bahaha.

[psychoslice]

Well I'm going out tonight and I'm going to have a few drinks and a I'm going to enjoy them, guilt free, yea yea.:occasion14:

[Seawolf]

People with addiction aren't able to stop, that's the whole nature of addiction. That's why it kills so many people. I knew a lady that died throwing up several quarts of blood and guts as a result of alcoholism. People that don't have it don't understand because they equate it with quitting sweets or watching tv, thinking it's about willpower. Willpower doesn't stop addiction any more than it can stop a brain tumor or a drunk driver from crashing into you.

[Louisa]

Hey paperdream92. I might have an addictive personality, for it seems that I keep using things to run away from reality, and often if I have just a bit it is enough to make me crave it all the time. I am trying to stop that and force myself to be mindful most of the time, but it's been tough going, and that's why I took a while to reply to you, because I've been trying to make myself not get online much at all. I think it may be much harder to give up the internet than alcohol, for me.

Thanks for sharing your story. It is very uplifting. Though I have now managed to cut alcohol out of my life for a few months completely, I still have to struggle against other forms of running away and trying to find a way to be happy and mindful in my day to day life instead of running away or feeling insecure or whatever about the spiritual/existential and daily living concerns. But I'm really trying to focus on that now, and I think it's happening, albeit in an erratic, "one forward, three steps back" way, at times. I think overall the progress will last longer than the regression, and I'm committed for the long haul, however slowly, however many times I fail.

Self-efficacy, yes, that's important and I am realizing I am capable and I am good enough, which is something I'd been thinking I wasn't. The ideals held up often made me feel inadequate, but in reality, often those ideals weren't really what mattered, or they weren't reflections of reality. Overall, I think I'm much more capable than I realized and I'm beginning to see it.

I am trying to make more time for meditation, even just a few minutes a few times a day sometimes, but I don't have much free time and have many concerns and things to be attending to. Every bit does help me anyway. Aligning my chakras, I will try to learn more about that and try it sometime.

I agree doing more things that make you feel positive is good, especially if they're things one enjoys doing or that give some kind of fairly short-run, self-reinforcing motivation.

Yes, as for sugar, I also hate it! Trying to once and for all eliminate that bane from my life because I can see that I am way more short-tempered and depressive when I have it, or refined starch. I think alcohol is also not good for people with blood sugar issues.

[Louisa]

I agree that some people have a physiological addiction. I guess I didn't have that, so I was lucky, because it wasn't as difficult for me to stop alcohol as it is for many, but I wanted to quit because it made me feel not so great and I never wanted it to become a true physical addiction. For that matter, the psychological addictions themselves can be terribly difficult to overcome, if combined with emotional or mental health problems, things I am continuing to try to manage and overcome.

[IsleWalker]

I am feeling that maybe I should give up alcohol, because although I do not feel that I have much of a habit at this point, I don't know how quickly addiction can occur. Especially, I know alcoholism runs on one side of my family, and it seems I am discovering that I have a significant amount of Native American heritage. Native Americans, I've read, can have a gene which makes it more difficult for them to process alcohol and more prone to alcoholism.
I already suppose I have a bit of a habit, but I don't think it is very severe. I just fear that I may slip into real, serious addiction before I realize it, especially if I'm predisposed genetically.
Do you have any tips for stopping alcohol, or keeping it to a moderate level? Right now I have about 1 to 3 drinks most days, and I have a day or two per week without drinking. This doesn't seem like that much to me, but as I said, I am afraid I might be prone to alcoholism due to genetics, I don't know.

Remember, Louisa, genetics doesn't predispose you to anything. Still, choices are made and you have the power to make those choices. Despite what medicine/science wants to tell us, there are no firm predictions of anything, not even really odds. IF there is one person who doesn't get a condition, even if it is supposedly 100% predictive, then it is possible to "choose" otherwise. You do that with intention, and with the cooperation of each cell of your body, which is itself a conscious entity with awareness and choice.

So don't allow the fear that is sewn by "science". You always have the power.

Good luck to you in your quest. Wanting is enough and you may learn more about this as you go along.

Lora

[Louisa]

Remember, Louisa, genetics doesn't predispose you to anything. Still, choices are made and you have the power to make those choices. Despite what medicine/science wants to tell us, there are no firm predictions of anything, not even really odds. IF there is one person who doesn't get a condition, even if it is supposedly 100% predictive, then it is possible to "choose" otherwise. You do that with intention, and with the cooperation of each cell of your body, which is itself a conscious entity with awareness and choice.

So don't allow the fear that is sewn by "science". You always have the power.

Good luck to you in your quest. Wanting is enough and you may learn more about this as you go along.

Lora

I try not to place too much faith in science because I know the studies can be biased or limited. I do want to try to use intention more in my life and it's something I'm working my way towards lately. Getting over the fear of doing anything wrong and fear of exercising choice, preferring god and fate the control it... trying to see maybe i am a piece of god or can be and therefore choose to exercise that power.
hopefully it will help me overcome addictive issues (now the internet and other distractions) for me, which i think are largely about running away from my fear of destruction and mistakes, for me, as well as escaping from boredom.

ah well, and that said now i must really make myself stay away from the internet for at least a week or so... before any more posts. maybe a month. who knows, maybe a year? i'm finding time for lots of other things i was neglecting and it's helping a lot so far increasing my clarity. i'll make myself read 'ask and it is given', which i finally bought and maybe it will seem to fill in some of the missing pieces of the puzzle for me.

[Seawolf]

Remember, Louisa, genetics doesn't predispose you to anything. Still, choices are made and you have the power to make those choices. Despite what medicine/science wants to tell us, there are no firm predictions of anything, not even really odds. IF there is one person who doesn't get a condition, even if it is supposedly 100% predictive, then it is possible to "choose" otherwise. You do that with intention, and with the cooperation of each cell of your body, which is itself a conscious entity with awareness and choice.

So don't allow the fear that is sewn by "science". You always have the power.

Good luck to you in your quest. Wanting is enough and you may learn more about this as you go along.

Lora
Science is probably the most honest because it knows we don't know why people have addictions. That's why we continue to research it. The public thinks that 'science followers' who act like they know everything represents actual science, but real scientists know that they don't know. If we didn't have science we'd be even more delusional than we are now about what we think we know, and would try to cure addiction with magic stones or leeches. There is no cure though, just like we have no cure for human behavior and don't understand it in the least yet.

[Tabby94]

Alcohol has a deleterious effect on people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCADUVBf17o

I may not share many of his views, but IMO Swaggart is spot on with this issue.

[running]

Alcohol has a deleterious effect on people.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCADUVBf17o

I may not share many of his views, but IMO Swaggart is spot on with this issue.

This is a Christian evangelical video. Swaggart is a preacher of such. I went to watch it and found out. Just saying so you don't waste your time with it if evangelical stuff isn't your deal.

[Tabby94]

This is a Christian evangelical video. Swaggart is a preacher of such. I went to watch it and found out. Just saying so you don't waste your time with it if evangelical stuff isn't your deal.

You can Isolate his Christian evangelism from the points he makes about Alcohol though ? Its not as if Teetotalism is a major feature of Christianity, like it is for Islam and Sikhism. He's almost unique with his thoughts on Alcohol.

Alcoholism is responsible for so much mental/physical hurt in life, but it doesn't especially in western society seem popular to be anti-Alcohol.

[IsleWalker]

Science is probably the most honest because it knows we don't know why people have addictions. That's why we continue to research it. The public thinks that 'science followers' who act like they know everything represents actual science, but real scientists know that they don't know. If we didn't have science we'd be even more delusional than we are now about what we think we know, and would try to cure addiction with magic stones or leeches. There is no cure though, just like we have no cure for human behavior and don't understand it in the least yet.

The problem, Seawolf, is that science says it doesn't know anything, but sets assumptions that (a) everything is objective--and it is not, in my book. Everything, because we perceive in different ways, is subjective. Therefore, what good is a "well-designed" experiment if it rules out the most important fact--there is no such thing as objectivity, as reproducing an experience "equallly". And (b) science dis-allows important things as being causes--like thought, like intention, like other entities they can't record.

This is an argument that has no end--it is subjective. I think you can't build a foundation of science on rot, and that's what's been done.

Lora

[IsleWalker]

i'll make myself read 'ask and it is given', which i finally bought and maybe it will seem to fill in some of the missing pieces of the puzzle for me.

I had a difficult time with that book. It's simplistic and...IDK. I had more connection with the 10 minute videos on Youtube. I know you're getting off the internet. Those would capture a problem of real people and you can hear her (Abraham) discuss how to think it through. And even then I needed to hear them many times before they "stuck". Maybe while you're weaning yourself? Do it the way you feel it will be best.

Lora

[Seawolf]

The problem, Seawolf, is that science says it doesn't know anything, but sets assumptions that (a) everything is objective--and it is not, in my book. Everything, because we perceive in different ways, is subjective. Therefore, what good is a "well-designed" experiment if it rules out the most important fact--there is no such thing as objectivity, as reproducing an experience "equallly". And (b) science dis-allows important things as being causes--like thought, like intention, like other entities they can't record.

This is an argument that has no end--it is subjective. I think you can't build a foundation of science on rot, and that's what's been done.

Lora
That's interesting but I've never heard any scientist say that everything is objective. Actually scientists are people just like you, most have spiritual beliefs. I wouldn't put too much faith in what the public thinks about science. It's actually a very good thing. People have always been skeptical of it though, yet love to reap it's benefits. Of course you're free to believe it's evil or wrong all you want, but really it's just about learning, which is a good thing. Learning can be very enlightening if just given the chance.

[IsleWalker]

That's interesting but I've never heard any scientist say that everything is objective. Actually scientists are people just like you, most have spiritual beliefs. I wouldn't put too much faith in what the public thinks about science. It's actually a very good thing. People have always been skeptical of it though, yet love to reap it's benefits. Of course you're free to believe it's evil or wrong all you want, but really it's just about learning, which is a good thing.
The scientific method attempts to create "identical" and reproducible situations in which to test the hypothesis. By definition, that is a fool's errand--even if there are not humans involved in the "interactions".

And it is not considered a scientific "fact" unless it is reproducible by others. Again, a fool's errand. That's what I mean about the basis of science. Attempting to solve the big questions--great. Attempting to do with with faulty underlying assumptions--useless. IMO.

It is consciousnesses --even of inanimate objects--and they have "choice" in how they respond. It's not an idea that is given any credence in science. Not even the choice of observers. They are still saying that the Observer Effect in quantum experiments has to do with just the fact that it's being measured. It's affected because consciousness has an effect.

Lora

[Seawolf]

Ok I see you're very against it. It's for another thread though.

[running]

You can Isolate his Christian evangelism from the points he makes about Alcohol though ? Its not as if Teetotalism is a major feature of Christianity, like it is for Islam and Sikhism. He's almost unique with his thoughts on Alcohol.

Alcoholism is responsible for so much mental/physical hurt in life, but it doesn't especially in western society seem popular to be anti-Alcohol.

There are people who have problems with alcohol. And then most people drink and have no problems with it.

[Seawolf]

People that have problems with it usually don't think they have a problem. That's kind of the whole nature of the addiction. Not until something drastic happens anyway, like a doctor telling you that you're going to die soon from it. Or losing your home and family, but then again people will continue in denial even after that. People that don't have it can't understand why, but at least now we're starting to understand that it's not just about being 'weak'. Still though, the common perception of it as a weakness still prevails despite overwhelming acceptance from the medical community that it's a condition of the brain.

[running]

People that have problems with it usually don't think they have a problem. That's kind of the whole nature of the addiction. Not until something drastic happens anyway, like a doctor telling you that you're going to die soon from it. Or losing your home and family, but then again people will continue in denial even after that. People that don't have it can't understand why, but at least now we're starting to understand that it's not just about being 'weak'. Still though, the common perception of it as a weakness still prevails despite overwhelming acceptance from the medical community that it's a condition of the brain.

Its an actual physical addiction for some I feel. My grandfather had that kind of addiction. And when he would quit. Even walking was difficult I heard. Most of us don't understand because its not in our genetic makeup to become physically addicted to it. I know when I was younger I drank every day and never developed an addiction. I decided I wasn't interested in it but once in a while. I didn't go thru much of anything really when I decided to drink only on occasion.. Maybe a night or two of taking longer to fall asleep if anything.

[Tabby94]

There are people who have problems with alcohol. And then most people drink and have no problems with it.

IMO it is worse than smoking, people don't light up then want to smack someone, shout profanities at random people etc. Yet there is smoking bans, no advertisement while Alcohol Is promoted to high heaven.

That's just my opinion. I'd sooner light up than take a sip of the poison known as Alcohol. If you suffer mental health issues you'd notice why one of the first pieces of advice is to give it up.

[Seawolf]

Its an actual physical addiction for some I feel. My grandfather had that kind of addiction. And when he would quit. Even walking was difficult I heard. Most of us don't understand because its not in our genetic makeup to become physically addicted to it. I know when I was younger I drank every day and never developed an addiction. I decided I wasn't interested in it but once in a while. I didn't go thru much of anything really when I decided to drink only on occasion.. Maybe a night or two of taking longer to fall asleep if anything.
It's complicated as far as the different levels of addiction, and no one can really say who has or it not until it gets pretty bad. It's not an easy thing to define addiction, it's not well understood. People that have had addiction for a long time understand what it's like to have it, but they admit they don't understand it.

If someone uses throughout their life -- whether all the time or on and off, occasionally or regularly, if it's a consistent pattern throughout life.. that could be an indication of addiction. Especially if the addiction seems to be progressing because it tends to get worse over time. An interesting phenomenon is that when alcoholics stop using for many years and then start again, their body will react as if they had been drinking all those years.

[running]

IMO it is worse than smoking, people don't light up then want to smack someone, shout profanities at random people etc. Yet there is smoking bans, no advertisement while Alcohol Is promoted to high heaven.

That's just my opinion. I'd sooner light up than take a sip of the poison known as Alcohol. If you suffer mental health issues you'd notice why one of the first pieces of advice is to give it up.

There is at least one thing illegal that i feel is less harmful than alcohol. It sounds like you don't like alcohol much. The main reason I don't drink much anymore is I find it not to mix well with meditation. Nothing weird happens its just that it either excites me or makes me tired. Both of which mess up my meditations. I love coffee though! Even during meditation it could be nice. Lol

[IsleWalker]

Ok I see you're very against it. It's for another thread though.

If you're interested, I just found again today a video that to me properly describes the fundamentals which combine all science with consciousness.

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=54382

Lora

[Louisa]

Thanks, Lora,

I will give the videos a look too sometime. I like the book ok so far, though, I've not read too far into it. I don't agree with everything it says, but it could prove me wrong. I'm just going into it with an open mind, however, I have a few strong reservations about the whole thing. I guess I will look into many different angles and resources on the law of attraction, if one doesn't suit me in some or another kind of way.

I think that for me, the key so far is to try to create from a place in my heart filled with love and enthusiasm, well that's a part of it, anyway. I have seen how this happens sometimes so that's why I started to really believe in the law of attraction, though I had been skeptical before, and to think maybe I do deserve the autonomy to shape my life.. But now I'm trying to do so with the guidance and help of spirits too, and to see where I would/should be led, and where to choose on my own.

It's so interesting to me how intention might (at least hypothetically) be able to be applied to things like healing and other big, "scientific" or psychological "incurable" or complex issues. I don't assume, I still consider science's offerings, but I'm open either way. I know science is surely not totally objective, and it's a body of evidence and mutually common experiences, but not identical, not universal, perhaps. There's always the exceptions to the rules. Often there are exceptions, at least, if not always. Perhaps those exceptions sometimes occur through law of attraction and such.

Thanks again for your thoughts.

[IsleWalker]

Well good luck, Louisa, in all you're attempting to do. The getting your head around Law of Attraction is work, and I felt objections as I went along too.

Things like,"Oh, how can this intention stuff actually lead to physical changes, abundance, all these wonderful things?" Or "Great to have a good mindset but how do you keep it?" That's where the Abraham youtube videos come into play IMO.

People constantly object to this saying, "Well that's great if you're in a good mood, but what about if you aren't?" And she would walk through how you change the thoughts little bit at a time, in steps--Like going from "This totally sucks" to "Well, this will be over someday." , etc. She talks about "getting in the Vortex" --which is just her way of saying getting aligned with Source.

There is a whole big part about making sure you're not in a needy place (i.e. negative) when you ask, because what you get is more of where you are--need rather than abundance, sensation of lack rather than abundance. It's a tricky path and our lives are almost constructed to knock us out of "the vortex" (which is a hokey name IMO!). But there are ways to right ourselves, to navigate it. And, little by little, it all becomes clear how it is working around us.

There is this presumption of a zero sum game in life--i.e. If I get something, it is taking away from someone else. And when we think, "How can I possible get this to happen?" ---sometimes the creativity of the Universe can create opportunities where none existed before. And, of course, we have to keep doing our part--doing what we can and then letting the rest alone.

Anyway, good luck in your journey. This idea/philosophy tends to keep me responsible for my own stuff--which is not how I always want it to be!!:D

Lora

[Louisa]

I will check out the videos too sometime.
Good points that you made too.
Thanks, Lora.
I am already enjoying the mixed blessings and seeming challenges that are arising as if to make me release the old mindset, now that I'm focusing more on mindfulness and love and less on distraction. I feel really good, at the same time challenged, by the changes I'm making. I think it will force me to change, and I am glad for that. It's one of those days when everything's going wrong, but meditation and spirit guidance is keeping me from becoming inundated.

[IsleWalker]

I will check out the videos too sometime.
Good points that you made too.
Thanks, Lora.
I am already enjoying the mixed blessings and seeming challenges that are arising as if to make me release the old mindset, now that I'm focusing more on mindfulness and love and less on distraction. I feel really good, at the same time challenged, by the changes I'm making. I think it will force me to change, and I am glad for that. It's one of those days when everything's going wrong, but meditation and spirit guidance is keeping me from becoming inundated.

Who can ask for more than that? Good job, Louisa.

Lora