Simple way to find hope

[Louisa]

Any simple ways to find hope when the body and mind proliferate distractions and pain and distract and blur the mind and one keeps slipping toward hopeless feelings?
Hope is the first step, but then of course comes the actualization of joy and peace. If one has no hope, hope must be the first step. So, how to find hope in such cases? And then, if there's a simple way to go past just hope to finding joy? When simple pleasures don't seem pleasurable, when deeper joys don't seem meaningful? When something keeps blocking that perception of deeper meaning, joy or pleasure?
I know there may be no one way to cure such a state, and different things may work for different people, but any ideas are welcome. I've collected a little list of things that help me, but these things often seem too complicated, too much to do or not enough of an impact. So I can't do them all, but if I don't do enough of them, they don't work. A leap of faith may be required or just trying something to see if it works, I understand. But a simple way is easier to try.

[MRDazzle]

I like this quote from your signature

"Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse it and it will curse you... If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you, and even if it is troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, if you sincerely bless it." ~Emmett Fox

I think accepting who you are, and how you cope and love yourself unconditionally will help you through. I have had probably the hardest year of my life and loving and accepting yourself is the toughest element.

Can't give if you are empty. Fill yourself up with love, inspiration, and surround yourself with a support system.

[John32241]

I know there may be no one way to cure such a state, and different things may work for different people, but any ideas are welcome. I've collected a little list of things that help me, but these things often seem too complicated, too much to do or not enough of an impact. So I can't do them all, but if I don't do enough of them, they don't work. A leap of faith may be required or just trying something to see if it works, I understand. But a simple way is easier to try.


The simple way is to love All That You Are. Every aspect of you.

When your depression is viewed as a gift for remembrance, its value for you can be appreciated. You can not reach this point of awareness without compassion for all that you are and all the choices which you have selected. The perception that aspects of the self need to be eliminated is counter productive.

Energies are not destroyed. They evolve when they are loved and appreciated.

I hope my simple thoughts on this will be helpful.

John

[Louisa]

Yes, self-love, that sounds right. I'd been drawn to lovingkindness (metta) meditations of Buddhist tradition, which are basically affirmations of love towards self, and others. But it begins with the self. Now, can affirmations really evoke the feeling? I hope so, but I've experienced something like that before.
This seems to hit home for me, because I feel a lot of shame and self-hatred. I have truly known the darkest side of humanity in myself, I feel. Ironically, I have also been extremely loving, and I think it was sincere. Which of me is true? Both I guess. Now I'm scared of falling into the hole of hate again or losing my mind, thus losing control and falling in it again against my best efforts. Oh well, I'll try this. It gives me a lot to think about and try to feel because it is really so distant and averse to what I often feel and think.
Ah, enough of my pain and negativity. I'll try to post something more positive next time I post about anything.
Thank you, MRDazzle and John. :smile:

[Xan]

Yes... be willing to love all that you are, even the unlovable parts... including the pain, the shame and the fear.


Xan

[Xan]

The Emmett Fox quote is good and true. He also said, "If only you could love enough you would have all the power in the world."

It's loving enough - letting go of restraint and all limiting ideas - that's the challenge...


Xan

[Louisa]

I'll try to do that, to love all of it, all of me, and others, and life. One step at a time to get there. I really think the lovingkindness/metta meditation can help me. Maybe that is all I need to open the door to everything else I need.
Indeed it is hard to let go of the ideas and limits on love. I've often heard it said that one can't really love another if one doesn't even love oneself. I'm not sure whether I fully agree with that, but I think there's truth to it. So my luck and curse is to know the darkest thing in myself, that I must love before I can even love others. If I can overcome this, maybe I can find a way to overcome every boundary blocking love towards others. Oh well, was that negative? lol Stop thinking about myself and talking about my problems, self! Hmm... Okay, next time, I'll try, no more talking about my pain except in a positive light. I'll see if I can do that. Sorry. Hope it's at least funny in some darkly humorous way to witness my little drama as it unfolds and I'm the funny bad example of what not to do, maybe at times.

[Louisa]

Or maybe it wasn't really negative in a harmful way. The pain is something that needs to see the light of day sometimes not to fester. Others can maybe use my talking of my own pain, to relate, to look at something that often is not spoken of, but maybe needs to be looked at sometimes. Sometimes, not always, depending on the situation or individual.
But I'll try not to focus on it too much. The fine line between positive or overly optimistic and repressive.

[Arfie]

Acceptance was my first enduringly successful step toward peace. Loving all my broken parts and the world that broke those parts was just too much at first. In that sorrowful place, hope kept translating to variations of non-acceptance. Once I was able to accept my broken parts, loving them was a step easier to achieve. Hope became more effective and sincere.

Just personal experience.

[MRDazzle]

Yes... be willing to love all that you are, even the unlovable parts... including the pain, the shame and the fear.


Xan

I watched " What the Bleep do we know" and it hit home too. For a long time I didn't like myself.. doesn't mean I don't love myself. I wrote, "I love me" on my arm and saw it every day and rewrote it when it faded. It's not there anymore but the sentiment is. The word " love " even written, is a powerful thing.

[Xan]

So Louisa... Are you willing to begin to love the part of your mind that feels it's hard to love yourself? :wink:


Xan

[Louisa]

John, I also like what you said about viewing depression as a gift for remembrance. You mean, after it's over, my life will be enriched by the memory, the added compassion for others suffering, the contrast of the pain to pleasure? If I can view it that way even while I am experiencing it, maybe then I'll be able to transcend it and find meaning in the midst of it. I agree, that may be a step beyond what I can feel now, but I look forward to that possibility.

[Louisa]

Arfie, yes, maybe acceptance is a better place to start. That is a good point. Sometimes maybe love could be too much to ask for, and just accepting and tolerating could be a start in the right direction.

[Louisa]

So Louisa... Are you willing to begin to love the part of your mind that feels it's hard to love yourself?

Xan, I will try. lol The mind can endlessly create shadows can't it? The only way out is acceptance.

[Xan]

I agree... accepting is the key to getting free... including accepting our non-acceptance.


Xan

[Louisa]

I watched " What the Bleep do we know" and it hit home too. For a long time I didn't like myself.. doesn't mean I don't love myself. I wrote, "I love me" on my arm and saw it every day and rewrote it when it faded. It's not there anymore but the sentiment is. The word " love " even written, is a powerful thing.

MRDazzle, I actually haven't seen that movie. Maybe I'll watch it.
I agree the word "love" seems powerful just to read or see. I like the idea of mantras and being surrounded by subtle inspiration in the form of visual and sensory input that is uplifting and affirming.

[Louisa]

Accepting non-acceptance, lol. Sounds good if I can actually figure that one out. Maybe it all points to nonduality and oneness consciousness.

[Xan]

Accepting non-acceptance, lol.

You'll never figure it out, Louisa... you just have to jump in.


Xan

[Louisa]

I'll try. My mind keeps arguing with me. lol I'm not going to let my mind get the better of me this time.
How can all this be so simple, but seem so difficult. Just experience after the conscious ego-mind has reached the limits of its useful understanding, but the mind is glorified as the final judge of clarity and sense in our culture. I think that can be a part of the problem.

[Xan]

Then, just right now... accept the mind's arguing, accept the mind's belief that it's difficult, accept that you don't know who you are... yet.


Xan

[Louisa]

Yes, I'll try. And maybe laugh at my mind too. As long as I laugh lightheartedly and don't think myself more clever than my own mind. After all, this goes beyond the realm of cleverness and pride. Wisdom, maybe, but not cleverness.

[Louisa]

Then, just right now... accept the mind's arguing, accept the mind's belief that it's difficult, accept that you don't know who you are... yet.

I wonder, can the conscious ego-mind ever know the self beyond the mind or does it just feel and intuit it? Maybe it quiets down and believes based on experience, even if it can't quite "know" it.

[Xan]

In my experience, the mind can come to accept what is beyond itself.


Heading off to sleep land... see you tomorrow maybe, Louisa.


Xan

[Louisa]

I think so too. I've sensed that before.

Okay, see you around.

[John32241]

John, I also like what you said about viewing depression as a gift for remembrance. You mean, after it's over, my life will be enriched by the memory, the added compassion for others suffering, the contrast of the pain to pleasure? If I can view it that way even while I am experiencing it, maybe then I'll be able to transcend it and find meaning in the midst of it. I agree, that may be a step beyond what I can feel now, but I look forward to that possibility.

Yes exactly. That is how you stimulate your person power, through compassion.

Then when you are grateful for what life has brought to you, you experience joy. When you bless that joy, your creative essence(inner child) will bring you more of that.

Do not look forward to it, visualise it as already done!!

[Henri77]

If you can find a seed of genuine love-appreciation in your heart.....one beyond analysis-logic-thought.

You might begin with that. Nurture it and focus on that.
Savor and let it fill your attention.

Hope, joy & love are fully experienced only in the heart. Learn to surrender to it.
The mind only opens the same door it created, but it likely cannot experience these feelings.

Until the heart is reopened it's unlikely to fully experience joy.
Appreciation-peace is a good place to begin.
And nature is often a good location to practice this, as it naturally quiets the mind.

[Louisa]

John, good, I'll keep focusing on compassion as the first step, and the rest will unfold. Compassion and oneness are kind of two sides of the same coin, so trying to sense oneness will help with that.
Visualizing is something that has brought me immense results in the past. I think that it is generally said that one must really feel convinced something is within your reach, really feel it, for it to come true. That seems so far away, but I will try. If nothing else, maybe repeating affirmations will subtly suggest it into my mind until I can actually feel the potentiality.

[Louisa]

Originally Posted by Henri
If you can find a seed of genuine love-appreciation in your heart.....one beyond analysis-logic-thought.

Henri, yes, that is a good point. I thought I felt it so clearly last night, woke this morning and somehow felt I lost it again. My mind seems to lose things like this so easily. I don't know why. I think I have a high-functioning autism spectrum disorder and I have signs of OCD and ADD, but not the full-blown disorders. I think my brain makeup could be contributing.
But this seems like the way out of my problems at last, and the key is simple: to just remember and keep practicing and refreshing these simple understandings.
I love to spend time in nature, and try to walk in nature everyday to refresh my peace of mind. Since I moved to a place where I am able to take walks in nature every day, my whole state of mind and emotions have improved more than I ever anticipated. I also love the beautiful view of a pine forest outside my apartment windows and balcony. I will try to just feel that appreciation and peace in nature, when I get the chance.

[Louisa]

And yes, I think, the mind is just a tool for the heart, as I've heard one say before. To just feel that, to go beyond the mind. I keep thinking I have to remember and understand it, and that's true, but that's not the destination. I have to feel and practice it. :smile:

[Xan]

If you can find a seed of genuine love-appreciation in your heart.....one beyond analysis-logic-thought.

You might begin with that. Nurture it and focus on that.
Savor and let it fill your attention.

Hope, joy & love are fully experienced only in the heart. Learn to surrender to it.
The mind only opens the same door it created, but it likely cannot experience these feelings.

Until the heart is reopened it's unlikely to fully experience joy.
Appreciation-peace is a good place to begin.


Henri... I was thinking to post this understanding, and you have expressed it beautifully.

Accepting ourselves may begin with the idea of its freeing power, but to have real effects it must be felt.

We may find in us the feeling energy of accepting that we've experienced some time in the past, and let it flow up and all through whatever we have resisted, judged and not accepted before.

Then take up a practice of breathing with allowing the feelings of accepting, letting go and loving ourselves to fill us up, on a regular basis.


Xan

[n2mec]

For me, a friend once said, try good eating habits its a good source for positive energy and I think their right.

[Louisa]

n2mec, I think that is a very good idea. I have felt so much better since trying to improve my diet, and eating more vegetables. It took a while for me to feel better. I think it might have been detoxifying, which it can take a while to regain balance after doing.

[Louisa]

I also seek guidance on diet from my spirit guide, but sometimes I wonder about the recommended diet by this guide. Sometimes I feel imbalanced after eating certain things they've recommended but I think that the imbalance may actually sharpen my perception over time or lead to some kind of physical or spiritual healing, kind of like a small amount of poison can be healing over time or in the right circumstance.

[Xan]

A simple effective way to speed up and ease through detoxing and balancing, and not just physically, is MIR-Method.

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=29467 (http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/redir.php?link=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.spiritualforums.co m%2Fvb%2Fredir.php%3Flink%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww .spiritualforums.com%252Fvb%252Fshowthread.php%253 Ft%253D29467)


Xan

[midnightstar]

Interesting thread and some good ideas

[Louisa]

Just because different things work for different people, and different things can evoke hope at different times, and sometimes its easier to find hope than others, I think I will share my list of things that help me. Though they may not help me very effectively in isolation, and I may have to do many of them at one time to get real results, maybe they will help someone else. When I am less bogged down, some of these things can make the difference between a bad day or a good one. So I'll post that later when I get the list of things together.

[Louisa]

I am still trying to find my list of things that help me. It's in one of my many journals around the house.
But I think that I will try to keep it simple, after all the title of this thread is "simple way to find hope". I tend to get caught up in lists and feeling overwhelmed like I have to do all the things on the list. lol
I might create another thread elsewhere with the whole list, when I find it.
I have been finding that just feeling acceptance and love is helping a great deal for me personally, although I am not always successful in summoning that feeling. I have been thinking that I will try to do some mantras or something like that meant to open the heart. I think that Tibetan Buddhism has several kinds of practices like that which are supposed to quickly and powerfully open the heart.

[Emmalevine]

I definitely agree with acceptance. That has been the way forward for me.

Also, I really like this quote. I can't remember where I got it from, or who said it, but it resonates with me:

Love is what it's all about.

I have reached absolute rock bottom in my life several times, almost to the point of considering its end, but now, after I'm hopefully far further down the spiritual road, I can see that when I try to love myself and my mistakes and my circumstances etc, something clicks into place. It is not easy, but I think it is the way.

[Louisa]

Starbuck, Yes, I think in the end, Love is what it's all about for me, too. And acceptance can be the first step to love.

[Kaausti]

Accepting and Loving my self...all parts of myself! Just typing these words are very challenging. I thank the person who used the example of writing I love me on their wrist. I also thank all of you for your genuine thoughts on this thread. Such a collective wisdom. I haven't been to SF for months and came here because I feel lost in the world and overwhelmed by its obligations. A year ago I was in such a great space and when I was faced with loss of my community, we have been trying to heal a day at a time. Now that we are not in a survival perspective, depression and a loss of hope kicked in. Thank you very much for your encouraging words. I am leaving here blessed and ready to walk through the next day and I send blessings of love to each and every one of you.

[Louisa]

Kaausti, I agree - accepting and loving ourselves is so powerful! I have remembered this over and again at times when my hope was dwindling and it has become something that I come back to, over time. I am very grateful for all those who have reaffirmed the value of this. There are many wise ideas posted here. I am glad they have helped you too.
I find that sometimes when I'm in a cycle of feeling down on myself, I have to keep interrupting my thoughts. It's about two or three thoughts of arguing back with my own mind before it finally listens and justs quiets down and is willing to find a way and try to love or accept myself. lol I argue with myself for not loving myself sometimes! Over time, it became more automatic and I try to love myself when I'm feeling good too, lol... Not just to remember it when I'm feeling bad.
And with that it has become easier to love others, to love my life, to live my life with more self-confidence and appreciation.

[Louisa]

Another thing that is helping me lately is saying and reflecting on the Ho'oponopono mantra ("I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."), towards those I have grievances with or have painful feelings towards. It helps me really step into another's shoes when I reflect deeply upon it. And it helps me see how each thing or being or person worked hard and went through a lot to be where it is, and there are always qualities I can empathize with, and often things I can really admire and respect, in any being.

I held a lot of resentment for wrongs done and general unfairness of life, but now I feel so much better about the things and people in my life. I see that we are all limited and suffering, but that's okay. It helps me see the good in the ones who wrong me or hurt me, empathize with how they became how they are and how we are all interrelated and that I might even be responsible for their difficulty, in an indirect way. And it helps me realize all that I don't know - or rather, how much I don't know, which helps quiet ego and allow love and interconnection and empathy.

I try also not to take on more than my fair share of the burden of others, because I can't purify the problems and karma of the whole, I don't think, but with those I am closest to, or those I feel drawn to or must work with, I'm trying to resolve my bad feelings through Ho'oponopono. It helps me to overcome the frustration and isolation from others that can contribute to my feeling a lack of hope sometimes. Here is a blog post I found on it that I found to be very inspiring:

http://hooponoponoworks.blogspot.com...o-summary.html

[Kaausti]

Louisa, thank you very much for your sharing. There is so much truth in all of this. I've got some work to do! But, each point you state here is spot on and resonates with me. Thank you again!

[Neville]

I find looking at a bloom helps. nothing spectacular, just a small flower.

Seems to do wonders at alleviating the gloom, I don't know how it works though..It just does.

[Izz]

Green tea (not an exaggeration) for me, at least

[Louisa]

Kaausti,
I sometimes find it easier to do this (Ho'oponopono meditation thing) than other times. Sometimes it seems simple to me, sometimes not. I shy away from it at times when I feel like I am just repeating the phrases without feeling it, because I think I might convince myself I feel something when I don't really, then unconsciously make myself into a hypocrite. lol It's happened to me before. :rolleyes: I think that when the understanding and the feeling are flowing naturally to understand it, then it can work for me, but other times I can't seem to focus and feel it.

I only recently began trying to use this method. I know I don't know much about Ho'oponopono, but I am interested in learning more about it, especially in regards to its traditional roots. I don't know if I agree of all the newer interpretations of it, based on what I've read, but I just like the idea of meditating or reflecting and affirming through the day about these values. I think somehow thinking about and wanting to follow certain values or states like love, gratitude, and forgiveness, can create the feeling and the understanding.

Ho'oponopono also reminds me of Metta/Lovingkindness meditation and Tong Len meditation practices. I don't know, but they might be simpler and easier to do than Ho'oponopono, at times, for me, I think.

Metta meditation is a kind of Buddhist meditation that involves repeating and thinking of the intent for freedom from suffering, and wishing well being for, first, oneself, then, in turn, a good friend, a person one feels neutrally towards, a difficult person, and then toward all beings in every realm. One does each step till mastered, then moves on to the next level. I have experienced this to work and awake feelings of compassion where I had none before. There are different specific methods or wordings of the mantras one can use. I am reading a book on it, Lovingkindness, by Sharon Salzberg.

Tong Len is something that keeps coming to my attention, and I have read a little about it. It is a Tibetan Buddhist practice and involves sending happiness and kindness to others on the out-breath and taking in the suffering of other beings on the in-breath. I need to read more on it, but it sounds like something I have been doing sort of intuitively where I sometimes visualize taking in others' feelings and sufferings and transforming them and giving them the good feelings I have in myself. I actually think I've noticed peoples' behaviors changing accordingly, sometimes, and it does definitely seem to improve my own state of mind. I think how we think and feel about others and the world around us can sometimes transform things. I don't know how far that power extends, but its something I want to try out and see for myself just how far the impact can be. I think that spending a lot of energy, focus and emotion toward this kind of thing might increase the influence that it can have.

[Louisa]

Gratitude in itself, too, I think, can be very helpful. So, apart from the love, forgiveness, all that, just trying to see if I can remember a time when I was grateful, then just feel the feeling, or if I can try to empathize with something and to see all the good things or the challenges it went through to be itself or the talents and curiosities that it holds.

It is a little bit mysterious to me how attention seems to create interest and gratitude, but for me, it does. By paying attention and looking for the positive or interesting in something, eventually one sometimes starts to feel and find what they're looking for, because interest and appreciation are largely a state of mind. Focus and habit changes feeling and brain chemistry. Real, deep appreciation or gratitude is just another shade of love or compassion, it could be said.

I like what Neville said about looking at a flower. Sometimes I do that and it can really pick me up and change my mood. It is something easy to admire and feel gratitude for. There are so many things that can be that way, some admittedly easier to see that way than with others.

I've never drank that much green tea, Izz, but I have heard it has many benefits, including on the brain, so it seems it could help. Maybe will try. There are supplements too, might could have similar effects?