Feeling very alone & loney

[spiritualized]

I feel very sad & alone.

For 14 years I've been single - close to 11 years living alone. My family is my mum & brother. My mother is elderly & unwell. My brother has substance misuse issues & I argue with him a lot - always have done. Although I do know some people - I don't feel like I've got any real friends.

I've been having sessions with a psychotherapist for a while - it feels like it's going nowhere. I've also been working with an alternative healer for the past 4 years; but he has also been very unwell recently.

I fluctuate a lot in how I feel. Some days it feels like I'm in Hell.

In the past I went through a lot of challenges & difficulties - I was hospitalised in psychiatric hospital 4 times; I went through 7 very major 'breakdowns', & was also in severe alcoholism & addiction for 17 years.

I've been clean & sober over 10 years now. I've tried so many things to try & resolve stuff & get well. I still feel very ill a lot of the time; physically, emotionally, & mentally. It feels like no one really cares. I hate the Human society/world that I live in. In general I find people ignorant & stupid.

I don't know what to do any more - I'd rather be dead when I feel like this.

I feel caught in endless catch 22's. I know that I need to try & address tobacco smoking, try & exercise more & eat more healthy - But I feel that I need practical help & support - & there is little to no practical help or support in my life.

Very few understand the dilemma of being utterly dependant on neuroleptic drugs & how that makes you feel. There is no support from mental health services except more drugs.

Some days are better than others, but I get so low at times; & get a lot of anxiety, depression, & physical ailments.

This society seems so unkind, unjust & uncaring.

[Quagmire]

Have you ever thought about seeking help from a clairvoyant?

[Remnantique]

I think I might know how you feel in some ways as i've had to go on drugs because of depression before and 'I didn't feel they helped either'. I do believe though if you had friends you'd feel much better in everyday. Laughter is sometimes the best medicine and this might seem like it wouldn't really help, I think if you had a good friend you would be able to enjoy having fun more and not having to think about the bad things.

If it makes you feel better, if I lived near you I would be your friend ^_^ Perhaps you could find a local society or group to join and make new friends there? If you need to talk feel free to pm me, I also have skype and msn. = ) hugs*

[spiritualized]

Have you ever thought about seeking help from a clairvoyant?
Yes - seen & spoken with lots of them. They all say a lot of different things - nothing any of them has said has ever come to pass.

[spiritualized]

I think I might know how you feel in some ways as i've had to go on drugs because of depression before and 'I didn't feel they helped either'. I do believe though if you had friends you'd feel much better in everyday. Laughter is sometimes the best medicine and this might seem like it wouldn't really help, I think if you had a good friend you would be able to enjoy having fun more and not having to think about the bad things.

If it makes you feel better, if I lived near you I would be your friend ^_^ Perhaps you could find a local society or group to join and make new friends there? If you need to talk feel free to pm me, I also have skype and msn. = ) hugs*

Thanks. X

__________________________________________

[Remnantique]

Welcome, now turn that thrown upside LOL, slips a cuddly stuffed lion into your pocket when you're not looking and stuffs a cookie in your mouth* = 3

[blackraven]

spiritualized - I care. :hug2:

Blackraven

[Xan]

spiritualized... Regarding loneliness and longing for someone to love, there are two things I found that work for me.

First, some time ago I realized I could become my own best friend, treating myself as I like and love and need.... with acceptance and appreciation, listening and comforting, without self-indulging or self-pity. It worked quite well.

Second, I later recognized the part of me that feels lonely and unloved is only the surface personality. Each of us is whole and complete in the inner being within ourselves. We can know this by breathing our attention into the open quiet space within and underneath the busy mind. This is true spiritualizing.

I never feel lonely or like I need someone anymore... and love is always here within and all around me.


Xan

[Seawolf]

In the past I went through a lot of challenges & difficulties - I was hospitalised in psychiatric hospital 4 times; I went through 7 very major 'breakdowns', & was also in severe alcoholism & addiction for 17 years.

I've been clean & sober over 10 years now. I've tried so many things to try & resolve stuff & get well. I still feel very ill a lot of the time; physically, emotionally, & mentally. It feels like no one really cares. I hate the Human society/world that I live in. In general I find people ignorant & stupid.

Congratulations on being sober for 10 years! One thing that comes to mind is that in recovery groups the ones who have been sober for awhile help those beginning their journey. I'm sure you have a tremendous amount to give!

[Uma]

spiritualized... Regarding loneliness and longing for someone to love, there are two things I found that work for me.

First, some time ago I realized I could become my own best friend, treating myself as I like and love and need.... with acceptance and appreciation, listening and comforting, without self-indulging or self-pity. It worked quite well.

Second, I later recognized the part of me that feels lonely and unloved is only the surface personality. Each of us is whole and complete in the inner being within ourselves. We can know this by breathing our attention into the open quiet space within and underneath the busy mind. This is true spiritualizing.

I never feel lonely or like I need someone anymore... and love is always here within and all around me.


Xan

Good advice Xan...

It is very easy not to be lonely - if socializing is what you want. The world is so full of lonely people waiting for you to take that first step and be their friend.

[Aquarian]

Hey Spiritualized,

First thing to know is that your feelings aren't real. Bad feelings are always a lie.

Second thing to know is that they can be permanently eliminated. EFT works.

Heck I eliminated my loneliness. Being alone isn't a bad thing. Many monks do it deliberately.

[Lauraye]

This is terrible that you feel that way!! Feeling alone and isolated is never a great feeling! There is not much MH help after recoveries, I too have had a lot of treatment from early teens to early twenties and it wasn't until I started to help myself that I have started to heal! I became focused on my spirituality, I went from yoga classes, aromatherapy, reflex and began to learn and find like minded people! I have never felt and looked better!! If you focus on doing activities for YOU and meeting new people that will be like minded and help guide you then this will be a challenge you enjoy!! Find something you want to do - check out local colleges and see what courses they have on!! I hope you feel better soon and sending good thots to you. Xxx

[Quagmire]

Yes - seen & spoken with lots of them. They all say a lot of different things - nothing any of them has said has ever come to pass.

Sorry to hear that because a good clairvoyant should do nothing else than help you realize who you are so you can find your beauty and shine it upon the Earth. I will send a prayer your way so hope your future will be brighter :hug2:

[Emmalevine]

I'm sorry Spiritualized. My heart went out to you upon reading your thread. The issues you have been dealing with are far from easy and I appreciate how difficult it feels finding your way in life. I don't blame you for feeling frustrated with how things have been and continue to feel.

Psychotherapy is never an easy choice and a lot depends on the relationship with the therapist. If you feel it's going nowhere it's worth looking for a different one. Trust me on that, a different person can make a whole load of difference.

Spiritually, meditation may help you to find some inner peace over time and reconnect to yourself. You say you've tried healing but it might be worth investing in a different healer as well. Or perhaps take some reiki classes, get attuned and practice self healing daily.

Loneliness is very hard and painful. As much as I understand intellectually that I am all I need, I still feel lonely. Personally, I feel humans are social beings and no one can be alone all the time. Maybe I'm wrong but that's how I see it. We need others and that is okay. Perhaps join a new college class or leisure activity?

I hope life picks up for you. Remember it starts from within, so try to keep as positive as you can and believe you will gain the things you need.

[Krystalle]

Hi
You know what they say a journey starts with the first step. Maybe you need to rearrange and look at things from a different view. No one can help you but yourself, because you are your first enemy and friend...you need to work with yourself not against yourself.
You can start by creating a list of what you want to accomplish/where you want to get. And take it step by step, without allowing yourself to look back.
Remember - you have to be the kind of person you would like to meet.
its nice you reached out here, it means hope is not lost <3
If you want you can PM me anytime if you need help.

[spiritualized]

I'm sorry Spiritualized. My heart went out to you upon reading your thread. The issues you have been dealing with are far from easy and I appreciate how difficult it feels finding your way in life. I don't blame you for feeling frustrated with how things have been and continue to feel.
Thank you - I've tried so hard & for so long to more fully resolve things. I'd rather be dead to be honest; with how I'm feeling at the moment.

Have been getting a lot of suicidal thoughts the past couple of days; but I wouldn't act on them. I feel like I'm going completely insane again.

[Lauraye]

Thank you - I've tried so hard & for so long to more fully resolve things. I'd rather be dead to be honest; with how I'm feeling at the moment.

Have been getting a lot of suicidal thoughts the past couple of days; but I wouldn't act on them. I feel like I'm going completely insane again.
Remember all your wise words, I find all your posts and links very inspiring, sometimes we need breathing space and some time out to collect our own thots, thinking about you and remember you have friends on SP who are here for you, you have come so far...... Xxx

[Native spirit]

:hug: Hey Spiritulized,


I care what happens to you, it seems to me that you are carrying everybodys problems on your shoulders. you need to look after yourself forget about your brother he is old enough to look after himself,
your mother needs care but you dont have to do it alone.
you feel lonely and that know one wants you because of the situation you are in,
you are just as worthy of love as the next person, seeing a clairvoyant is not going to help with the way you feel.
you need to see a counsellor the right counsellor can help you a lot more.
you need a break away from your family so you can re charge your own batteries,
i will send Healing and Positive thoughts to you,


Namaste

[spiritualized]

Thank you Native Spirit. X

[pixszi]

I say ... I feel you. Check your diet. It really helped me to notice how my food allergies really affect my emotional state. Wheat especially.
You're not alone!

[Natasha]

Hi Spiritulized,

I know how hard it can be, I've been to the murky depths and have been struggling with the feeling of aloneness/depression now for a little bit so I totally hear you.

Its tough, it is, but I agree its much better you reach out in times like this. I think I find myself cutting off more when I feel alone (ironically) so its good to make yourself do that.

Councelling sounds like a good option for you right now - also it might be worth you looking into some local depression therapy groups? It could be a good way to get yourself out there, meet other people and really share whats going on for you:

http://www.depressionalliance.org/how-we-can-help/

I'm into meditation and all that, feeling into ones emotions but when it becomes unbareable I do suggest giving yourself a break. I find that I get so totally involved in my story that going into myself can sometimes make it more intense and involve rumination and going over and over things torturing myself. Play an online game, have a bath, get out of the house, go read a book in a coffee shop, just do anything where you are not consistantly devouring yourself with your own mind when you are unable to quieten it due to the intensity.

You are not alone my friend.

x

[spiritualized]

You are not alone my friend.

x

Hi Natasha; thanks for your post & suggestions, it's helpful. X