Struggling

[Emmalevine]

I'm not sure where to put this thread so if this is wrong feel free to move it.

I hope this doesnt come across as self pitying or seeking sympathy, as I'm not intending this post to be either. I'm just struggling with issues at the moment, and I feel like I need some advice on direction, and I'm not sure where to go. I have a chronic illness, M.E, which I've had for 9 years, although it's only been bad enough to affect my life since late 2005. It's this illness that sent me into seeking spirituality, and finding my true path in life, as well as discover why I had become ill and how to deal myself. I've made some progress I think, as I do gentle yoga everyday, I mediate nearly everyday, practice reiki healing, but I'm still struggling emotionally and physcially. I still feel lost, although I feel that if I had really found myself spiritually, I shouldn't be feeling this way. My life situation is tough aside from my illness - I'm a single mum to my little boy who is severely autistic with learning difficulties and will most likely never lead an independent life. I love him completely and I'm prepared to be there for him like any parent would, but the whole situation is just overwhelming. I do believe that this situation is with me for a reason, but at the moment I just feel lost and without direction.
Does anyone have any advice on where I could go from here, or any particular things I could focus on? As I said I don't need sympathy, as I believe I'm meant to go through all this to heal, but I just feel stuck at the moment. It's really hard to describe it. I hope this makes sense to someone.

[Moonflower]

I'm not sure where to put this thread so if this is wrong feel free to move it.

I hope this doesnt come across as self pitying or seeking sympathy, as I'm not intending this post to be either. I'm just struggling with issues at the moment, and I feel like I need some advice on direction, and I'm not sure where to go. I have a chronic illness, M.E, which I've had for 9 years, although it's only been bad enough to affect my life since late 2005. It's this illness that sent me into seeking spirituality, and finding my true path in life, as well as discover why I had become ill and how to deal myself. I've made some progress I think, as I do gentle yoga everyday, I mediate nearly everyday, practice reiki healing, but I'm still struggling emotionally and physcially. I still feel lost, although I feel that if I had really found myself spiritually, I shouldn't be feeling this way. My life situation is tough aside from my illness - I'm a single mum to my little boy who is severely autistic with learning difficulties and will most likely never lead an independent life. I love him completely and I'm prepared to be there for him like any parent would, but the whole situation is just overwhelming. I do believe that this situation is with me for a reason, but at the moment I just feel lost and without direction.
Does anyone have any advice on where I could go from here, or any particular things I could focus on? As I said I don't need sympathy, as I believe I'm meant to go through all this to heal, but I just feel stuck at the moment. It's really hard to describe it. I hope this makes sense to someone.


Hi Starbuck :hug:

In a way you are answering all of your own questions & no you do not come across as self pitying but you do confirm that you are struggling with issues & that you are physically & emotionally being drained in a way u are accepting that this is the way it has to be, confirming a negative if that makes sense..

Firstly I would suggest that if you can as opposed to self treatments wih Reiki that you find yourself a good Reiki Master close to you, I do know a very nice lady but she is in Hove but geographically I do not know whether that would be accessible to you.. When we recieve healing from another as opposed to ourselves the energy is amplified :wink: .

First & foremost you need to clear down the emotional levels once that is cleared & your chakras are all balanced & the chi is flowing as it shold then it will work on your physical problems..

Do you get any assistance with respite care at all, or get any help from family members. I am sending distant healing on a daily basis at around 1pm but I would prefer it if you could just set aside a little time to relax whilst I am sending say around half an hour, treat it as a meditaion & the energy will flow to you.

I hope this is of some help to you Starbuck :hug2: .

Love & light Moonflower x

[Emmalevine]

Thanks for responsing Moonflower, and sending the healing, I really appreciate it :) I guess I'm feeling a bit stuck at the moment, and losing faith in all that I'm doing. It's hard to stay completely positive sometimes.

Thanks for your support.

[cweiters]

Thank you for reaching out Starbuck, this is the first step toward healing for you and your son. Although single mum is not easy it is a very rewarding act of selfless love.

I see you are preparing yourself to make any sacrifice need for your child, and I love you for it :hug2: .


I'm a single mum to my little boy who is severely autistic with learning difficulties and will most likely never lead an independent life. I love him completely and I'm prepared to be there for him like any parent would, but the whole situation is just overwhelming. I do believe that this situation is with me for a reason, but at the moment I just feel lost and without direction.

Being Autistic does not make your son with learning difficulties, our society has teaching difficulties, your son can be just as independent as anyone else, he is just not in a rush like the rest of the world. Iam a single mum of two, being a mum is the best thing that ever happen to me. We need to learn to appreciate the differences in this life. I pray God in heaven will remove all the ties that bind you and your son to bondage, right now! I Pray you will live to see you son's ability to be independent, through the grace of God which sustains us all. I believe there is nothing to impossible for God! Nothing! God bless Stakbuck right now with the insight to feel and see your rejuvenating greatness within her and her son. I pray for restoration through out their bodies. It is done, thank you God!

To all with love
cw

[kris]

Starbuck, since you are already into yoga, I would like to suggest you to include your child in yoga. You may find this site (http://www.specialyoga.com/) useful to you. In my experience, the easiest solution to difficult problems is prayer. In Bhagavad Gita, Krishna says: na me bhakta praNashyati - I never forsake my devotees. Keep faith.

[Roo]

Starbuck- I don't really have any advice for you, but having a similar feeling of "stuckness", I thought I'd share a few things I've learned so far. For one, a lot of the things that keep me stuck are more belief than reality. Things like believing that I can't change my situation...who am I to think that I can do whatever...believing that I can't really do what I want, etc. I've been using EFT to help let go of those beliefs, but some part of me is comfortable where I am, and the risk of not changing is still less painful than the risk of making a change.

You said: I feel that if I had really found myself spiritually, I shouldn't be feeling this way.

Maybe that's not quite as true as you think it is. Maybe part of your journey should feel like this. I've been through some s****ty times, times when it seemed like the whole world was against me, times when I thought god hated me...come to find out later, that's exactly where I needed to be. Much as we like things to be wonderful and running smoothly, sometimes we need a bit of friction to knock off the edges, metaphorically speaking. Maybe the feeling of stuckness is coming from something you don't want to let go of, or admit to yourself...fear not. Everything Will be okay. There is a plan, and you were part of its creation!

Sending Love and Light to you...
Roo

[Emmalevine]

Thanks to all for your support and understanding, and thanks in particular Roo for your insight - I think I can see a few truths in there myself.

Cw I appreciate where you're coming from, and agree that differences in individuals are to be cherished, but my son does have learning difficulties, and this is common in autism. I accept and love him for the beautiful little boy he is, and I don't see him as less of a person, just different. However I would rather accept that it is unlikely he will live independently and be prepared for this, than blindly assume he will, which is against the odds as he has a neurological disorder. The majority of people with autism can't live independently as adults. I have worked with autistic adults so I'm familiar with this. It isn't me being pessimistic, just accepting what is the most likely outcome. If things radically change in the future, then wonderful. Sorry if this isn't what you believe, and if I seem too sensitive, but it's a difficult issue.
I do appreciate your caring and your prayer though, thanks :)

[cweiters]

Starbuck please don't apologize for doing what you feel is best for you. As I should be the one to apologize to you for not being as well informed on the situation. Please for give me Starbuck if I sound as if I'm an authority of autistic children, because I am not. As Kris mentioned in his post I have seen what, love, and the power of prayer can do. My prayers will continue to be with you and your son. Starbuck I believe in radical change, and I hope you don't mind if I continue to believe in radical change for your situation. Many others did this for me when things appeared to be hopeless in my life. It was during these difficult times, when I saw the awesome power of God.

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers everywhere!

Love to all
cw

[Emmalevine]

Starbuck please don't apologize for doing what you feel is best for you. As I should be the one to apologize to you for not being as well informed on the situation. Please for give me Starbuck if I sound as if I'm an authority of autistic children, because I am not. As Kris mentioned in his post I have seen what, love, and the power of prayer can do. My prayers will continue to be with you and your son. Starbuck I believe in radical change, and I hope you don't mind if I continue to believe in radical change for your situation. Many others did this for me when things appeared to be hopeless in my life. It was during these difficult times, when I saw the awesome power of God.

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers everywhere!

Love to all
cw

No worries, you were seeing it from your point of view - nothing wrong with that :smile: :hug3: I also have a strong faith in God and His influence, but I suppose for me it's finding the balance between that and knowing what the likely outcome is for my son as things stand at the moment. I also believe that sometimes things are meant to be as they are for certain growth and development to take place. Anyhow, I'm trying to say that it's fine to feel whichever way you do. Issues like this are always a bit sensitive as they create so many different viewpoints, especially on these kinds of forums.
Its wonderful that you have recieved the power of prayer and it's changed your life so much. I appreciate your caring and prayers and taking the time to reply. Thanks :smile: