Need help venting

[Seven]

So up until now, I've been single, I had my way of life figured out and answers were always effortless, I was highly intuitive. Now that I'm a recent father and husband (about 9 months to both) all of that is gone and I have no idea who I am or how to make things flow like they did before. I believe I'm in the process of rebuilding myself to fit a way of life that has always been alien to me.

So anyway, if i'm not screwing up things for another, I'm screwing themselves up for me. Being lost and confused all the time has caused me to slowly build some strong passive aggression and now I find myself starting silly ignorant arguments and making things worse for myself and others. You'd think from what I've said so far that I can't be a very happy man, but my life is nothing short of perfect now..excluding this process. If i'm not plotting to screw my co-worker's tires, I'm wanting to make someone feel dumb and wrong like I feel now. This is completely out of my nature, I need to vent, but I don't know how.

Earlier today my wife took the kid out and wouldn't tell me where they were going. At first I thought it would be fun, so I hid outside as they were leaving and jumped in her car and trailed them (she took my car) I lost them...so I decided to look for possible places. after 30 minutes I just got frustrated and started thinking negatively and I knew I was being ridiculous but more than anything I wanted to be upset and frustrated with someone other than myself. So I decided that she was a b**** for leaving me alone while I'd been wanting to go out and do something with them all morning. An hour later, they come home and I'm a total jerk while she's trying to show off the work they put into cleaning my car.

This behavior is absolute insanity in my eyes. I've never been the jerk, I simply don't get angry, I get sad. I'm not sure how to cope with or vent the changes. I've always been the suppressing type.

Thanks for any advice.

[Joshua_G]

Possibly, at this point in time, a good psychologist will be of most assistance.

[Mountain-Goat]

Your new environment is revealing things of yourself you never saw before.
Know yourself...all of you...compassionately, without self condemnation.
Venting is done by expressing outwardly what's going on inside.
Either do it alone or with someone you trust.

Your missus would be a good choice, and she can vent with you and you both can get to know each other more.

[Enya]

Parenthood brings out the child within us; the petty, I-want-attention side. It also brings out repressed emotions and patterns. Instead of telling yourself you're 'not like this', admit that you are - or you wouldn't be doing it. That's okay, however, because now you can work on releasing the repressed emotions. Try playing! Kick a ball about, climb a tree, do manly things... :D

[Lodewijkp]

dude you choding yourself out...

what is your life about?
do you have deep insecurities about her cheating?
who runs your life ?

not to make you insecure or feel bad about yourself.. you sound childish by trailing them and that kind of ****. you are just unhappy and it's effecting your masculine maturity... it ****es you off

So up until now, I've been single, I had my way of life figured out and answers were always effortless, I was highly intuitive. Now that I'm a recent father and husband (about 9 months to both) all of that is gone and I have no idea who I am or how to make things flow like they did before. I believe I'm in the process of rebuilding myself to fit a way of life that has always been alien to me. seriously you sound like a guy who had a comfortable life right ? effortless.... life is not about comfort or security - change is always hard. there is always a next level wether it be financial or spiritual

you are just unhappy about your situation .. period. you gave away your frame or you way of living for something which you do not really like.... that's what im reading. im not sayin you should be single again.. im telling to make it work... stop doing passive **** like trailing someone - that doesn't solve anything.

what do you feel unhappy about ? what triggers off ?

[MorningMist]

Sorry you're having such a rotten time, Seven.

Because you'd mentioned becoming a new father and husband 9 months ago, which seems to be coinciding with the behaviour you're experiencing, I wonder whether there might be some deep, hidden fear about fatherhood and marriage?

Only you would know, of course, but looking at the relationship between one's own parents, and how they felt about and treated their own children, might be a good starting point.

The point is, as you said, this behaviour 'isn't' you. So clearly 'something' is causing it.

Hope you find the answers soon and can be at peace with yourself.

As Alternate Carpark said: Know yourself...all of you...compassionately, without self condemnation.

Hugs
MM

[Seven]

I just typed out a massive message and accidentally refreshed the page. For now I'll just say that I wasn't very clear with my first message. The whole trailing thing was all fun and games, and yes, we are both very very childish lol. I'll get back to you guys in detail soon. Thanks for the advice so far.

[Mr Interesting]

I remember reading somewhere that the monks put all these little signs around the temple saying stuff like "attention" to get the novices outta patterns of discouragement.

You could put ones up the remind you to be present.