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Tanith
26-02-2012, 03:40 AM
It's me again :)

Any advice for someone who takes her BoS very privately but believes its been found out?


My mom is spiritual in the same way I am, but even she has not been told my Craft Name, nor have I told her about my BoS. NO ONE knows about either of them except you lovelies here. I was, of course, going to tell her when I told everyone who needed to know, at the same time, during my wiccaning. (with about 10 people around- if even that)

I tend to move my BoS around my room a lot. I am a very paranoid person at heart and anything I like to keep hidden I tend to move around quite often. This particular night I put my book under my pillow- I was in enough of a hurry to not find a good cache for it, but had enough time to hide it well. When I got home, the pillow was shifted and the corners and edge of my book were obvious.
If she found my book then she knows of it and my Name, which, as I said, I have told no one except people on this forum. I feel like not only my physical but spiritual privacy has been completely disregarded. I know my mother well enough to know that her curiosity would not have stopped at the front cover. It's not like I have much in there- half the things written are things she taught me or that we learned together, so it's not like she'd discover anything she didn't know. (Granted, there is a full written account on how I discovered my name and an in-depth look at its meanings)

My favorite hiding place is right on my bookshelf- for some reason unbeknownst to me I didn't put it there before I left. I guess I thought it would be safe?

I'd really like to think that we've grown past this "snooping around my personal space" bit.


I'm sure any of you with a Book know how important it can potentially be to a witch. Any advice would be appreciated on how to go about this now- should I just ignore the fact, pretend like it never happened? Or be less caring now that it's been found and not worry about hiding it?

Lostgirl
26-02-2012, 08:40 AM
My advice would be up front with her. Ask if she has been snooping around your room. You dont have to ask or mention what you think she found but ask her not to do so as it is your personal space and you wouldnt do it to her.

The other thing you could do would be to keep it with you at all times if you can. Im yet to start my "grimoire" or " BoS" but with mine i dont have the worry of someone snooping in it as i only live wiht my fiance and he wouldnt do that. But if i had my concerns i would keep it with me :)

Quintessence
26-02-2012, 05:44 PM
Recommendation 1: if something is so private that you're worried about someone discovering it, don't keep paper records. Keep it in your head. Nobody else can access it there. Alternatively, if you MUST have paper records, develop a cipher. Write everything in the cipher. If someone finds it, they won't be able to read it anyway.

Recommendation 2: what Lostgirl said; demand that your space be respected and set firm boundaries. If those boundaries are not respected, retaliate however you deem appropriate. I'd suggest either leaving or getting new housemates, but if you're the confrontational type, treat them how they're treating you.

Recommendation 3: buy a fireproof safe. You should probably have one anyway to secure important documents in, like birth certificates and social security cards. Keep the book in the safe.

Recommendation 4: get over yourself. If you're so afraid of it being looked at, ask yourself: what is it that I'm hiding? Am I not proud of who I am? If you feel you have something to hide, really ask yourself some tough questions. I firmly believe one should not be ashamed of one's religious/spiritual path. I understand there are circumstances where one might feel a need to hide it, but, well... to the bigots who are going to judge you because of your path, make them watch this:

Religion isn't the entirety of who someone is! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlhoKD60FzY&feature=channel_video_title)

Tanith
27-02-2012, 12:29 AM
Lostgirl; I will probably end up just confronting her, though I had originally planned showing it to her anyways, but I wanted to wait til I was finished filling in all the things I had planned out, and of course my naming. I tend to carry it with me most everywhere but in this instance I was going to work and that's the one place I don't tend to carry it with me (other than grocery shopping lol)


Quin; a little tough love it seems xD I am not hiding anything. As I said, half the things that are in my Book are things my mother taught me, or we learned together. It is the sense, however, that it is something special between myself and my guides and deities, not one of the many, many secrets my mom and I share. I think the only thing I have to really hide is the fact that the book itself exists- my mother and I share the same religious beliefs. We are both solitary, and prefer it that way. It's just.. something personal, my spiritual journey :)

Lostgirl
28-02-2012, 11:10 AM
It did sound a little like you were hiding something, but i equally see that its personal and private. Its like someone reading your diary - im not hiding it its just private and no one elses business.

norseman
28-02-2012, 12:06 PM
My BOS, such as it is, is in an external hard drive with two layers of security. But, mostly, I carry it in my head as memories brought up by photos.

EbonyDoe
28-02-2012, 03:14 PM
Mine's kept similar to Norseman's but somewhat less secure. Mine's kept on a flash drive that I can easily slip in my purse/pocket/backpack/ect when I leave

Lemon
28-02-2012, 09:14 PM
I'm unfamiliar with this BoS techniques, but it sounds to me like you need to learn how to hide things out in the open in plain sight. Trust that people have something of a bar-code scanner mentality, you can turn your entire living space into a BoS, and who would ever notice?

SunMist
28-02-2012, 10:04 PM
Tanith, I agree with others - it would be best to confront your mother or just ask her did she see a book on your bed. Do you believe she will tell you the truth if she did read it?

I have semi-psychic relatives and one of them determined the nature of a protective spirit that I connected with in a ceremony. It made me so angry. I did not confirm what they suspected and for a time turned away from that spirit as I felt the connection had been contaminated. So I very much relate to how you feel about this. I did in time reestablish the connection though and decided that the positive connection with this guide was more important than anything that this person knew. So you could take that attitude - that your private spiritual information exists and is powerful for you whether your mother knows it or not.

Also I hugely second Quintessence about developing a cipher and using it for all written material. I did that back when I lived at home.

Tanith
29-02-2012, 09:09 AM
I have such a horrible memory; even the things I try to remember or work at remembering, I can't. I have to write EVERYTHING down or it will be lost for months :( I envy you guys who keep it all in your head! I did try to keep records on a flashdrive, but with my past history of losing flashdrives and floppy disks... well, trust me, I'd spend more time just re-writing stuff that I would never have time to add to it XD

Lostgirl- exactly :) It's a very private thing. I'd also equate it to a Christian's devotional. Back when my grandmother made me go to sunday school the preacher gave us devotionals to track our religious and spiritual journey, and he told us to keep it safe because it was for us only. Only, I'm not Christian, but it's the same thing.

SunMist; your story feels very much the same. I wouldn't say it feels contaminated, but definately violated in some way. I'll take that to heart. I started developing an alphabet of sorts based on the anglosaxon/old english runes, though mostly for fun. Perhaps I shall use that only for information to keep to myself :)

Thank you all! ^^