Should we open a new friend web site?

[3dnow]

We can open a parallel forum site where people

1. Share their darkness, problems, fears, weaknesses
2. Help each other forgive and self-forgive

There would be a section for each problem.

Somewhere people would be accepted as they are, where they would feel safe.

No religion nothing...

I am a computer engineer I can open one with some support.. It costs near to nothing in the beginning.. If it becomes popular we think about it.

Suggestions? This already exists? Is it needed?

3d

[midnightstar]

I'd register to it 3dnow :smile: I think you'd have to include a link on it back to SF if you posted the link to it on SF :smile:

[3dnow]

I'd register to it 3dnow :smile: I think you'd have to include a link on it back to SF if you posted the link to it on SF :smile:

Yes SF would be friend forum where mysticism etc would be checked.

3d

[Mountain-Goat]

There is already a forum where those things are more than adeqauately done 3d. Here.

[3dnow]

There is already a forum where those things are more than adeqauately done 3d. Here.

I observed that people turn their back to dark stuff here.

3d

[Shabby]

I'd sign up but I thought you would just start a new thread 3Dnow. I don't think I would have sought such a forum on my own without knowing you guys here and knowing how it came about, so I am not sure how successful such a forum would be in attracting "outsiders".

[3dnow]

I'd sign up but I thought you would just start a new thread 3Dnow. I don't think I would have sought such a forum on my own without knowing you guys here and knowing how it came about, so I am not sure how successful such a forum would be in attracting "outsiders".

Hi Shabby why do I start the thread? Please do as you wish... :alien:

[Squatchit]

I observed that people turn their back to dark stuff here.

3d

If they turn their backs here, why would they embrace it there?

[midnightstar]

3d do you mean a kind of "therapy club" type forum? Where people can go post their problems and everyone bands together to help that person?

Or have I got the wrong end of the stick?

[Sarian]

Would this be a misery love company board? That might sound harsh, but it just reminds me of forums for depression and the like where people just groan about it continually and hey, I can do that too and do, but there's no coming out of it. I left forums like that because no one ever changed, got better, they just wallowed forever in it.

[Mountain-Goat]

I observed that people turn their back to dark stuff here.

3d
Like Squatchit's observation...
Not everyone, and the ones that do explore it, do so more than adequately.
If someone doesn't want to, starting a new forum will not change their minds about their decision.
There are enough people here that explore dark issues to inspire and encourage others to take a dip.

[3dnow]

If they turn their backs here, why would they embrace it there?

Hi Squatchit,
I don't know please see the next message.

3d

[3dnow]

3d do you mean a kind of "therapy club" type forum? Where people can go post their problems and everyone bands together to help that person?

Or have I got the wrong end of the stick?

Why not?

We would call it something like self-forgiveness and forgiveness forums...

People would bring their problems...
Each case would we studied by interested people and we would help each other self-forgive and forgive.

We don't do this in this forum...

3d

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

Would this be a misery love company board? That might sound harsh, but it just reminds me of forums for depression and the like where people just groan about it continually and hey, I can do that too and do, but there's no coming out of it. I left forums like that because no one ever changed, got better, they just wallowed forever in it.

It's not funny for people to suffer , but that post made me laugh . It reminds me of how I used to be when I was at my lowest, which was clinging to my pain and self-pity with all the strength I had left . People generally do what's easiest , and it's easier for some people to keep making themselves miserable than to get to the root of why they're miserable and how they're perpetuating the cycle . Some people can't be helped because they don't want to be helped . Some people want attention but don't really want to change what they're doing .

Not that people shouldn't be supportive of each other, and I'm not saying that anyone who ask for help and support is a whiner , not at all . Of course there's always a place for asking for help and for helping . That's not my point. You already made my point, S :wink: .

DS

[3dnow]

It's not funny for people to suffer , but that post made me laugh . It reminds me of how I used to be when I was at my lowest, which was clinging to my pain and self-pity with all the strength I had left . People generally do what's easiest , and it's easier for some people to keep making themselves miserable than to get to the root of why they're miserable and how they're perpetuating the cycle . Some people can't be helped because they don't want to be helped . Some people want attention but don't really want to change what they're doing .

Not that people shouldn't be supportive of each other, and I'm not saying that anyone who ask for help and support is a whiner , not at all . Of course there's always a place for asking for help and for helping . That's not my point. You already made my point, S :wink: .

DS

You really know that?

[Shabby]

It's not funny for people to suffer , but that post made me laugh . It reminds me of how I used to be when I was at my lowest, which was clinging to my pain and self-pity with all the strength I had left . People generally do what's easiest , and it's easier for some people to keep making themselves miserable than to get to the root of why they're miserable and how they're perpetuating the cycle . Some people can't be helped because they don't want to be helped . Some people want attention but don't really want to change what they're doing .

Not that people shouldn't be supportive of each other, and I'm not saying that anyone who ask for help and support is a whiner , not at all . Of course there's always a place for asking for help and for helping . That's not my point. You already made my point, S :wink: .

DS

I agree. I can also see where I have benefited from those of you that have not been nice to me. It helped me a lot...even though it hurt but I got it...You can only hurt the ego. Now don't you all jump on me trying to "help" me. LOL

[Sarian]

It's not funny for people to suffer , but that post made me laugh . It reminds me of how I used to be when I was at my lowest, which was clinging to my pain and self-pity with all the strength I had left . People generally do what's easiest , and it's easier for some people to keep making themselves miserable than to get to the root of why they're miserable and how they're perpetuating the cycle . Some people can't be helped because they don't want to be helped . Some people want attention but don't really want to change what they're doing .

Not that people shouldn't be supportive of each other, and I'm not saying that anyone who ask for help and support is a whiner , not at all . Of course there's always a place for asking for help and for helping . That's not my point. You already made my point, S :wink: .

DS
I know what you mean. My lowest landed me in the hospital, which was an eyeopener... when I got out, my ex told me to get on some forums, and others said that talking to others in the same experience or an other issue I had to deal with...well, it was okay at first, but when I would try to encourage others, they had excuses after excuses...and this wasn't just the depression site. I had joined another one that had people dealing with a circumstance I had to deal with...but wow, they lived and breathed it and each waking moment it became a study for them and I started to wonder the credibility of quite a few and it was disturbing. This became their life, they weren't even trying to help themselves... so I wholeheartedly agree, there are some people that just don't want help. My ex is a good exmple as well. He would rather place blame on others for ever misery in his life, even when most are brought on by himself. He has also told me our entire married life that I was responsible for his happiness. I hope his new girlfriend knows what she's in for.

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

I agree. I can also see where I have benefited from those of you that have not been nice to me. It helped me a lot...even though it hurt but I got it...You can only hurt the ego. Now don't you all jump on me trying to "help" me. LOL

Nor will I hurt you in order to then help you , not intentionally. We sometimes inadvertently clash with each other and without intending to cause pain or upset, bring up an issue that gets addressed, even if it wasn't on the list :D .
Fascinating how the universe-god does that , like it already knows what to do with us :wink: .

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

I know what you mean. My lowest landed me in the hospital, which was an eyeopener... when I got out, my ex told me to get on some forums, and others said that talking to others in the same experience or an other issue I had to deal with...well, it was okay at first, but when I would try to encourage others, they had excuses after excuses...and this wasn't just the depression site. I had joined another one that had people dealing with a circumstance I had to deal with...but wow, they lived and breathed it and each waking moment it became a study for them and I started to wonder the credibility of quite a few and it was disturbing. This became their life, they weren't even trying to help themselves... so I wholeheartedly agree, there are some people that just don't want help. My ex is a good exmple as well. He would rather place blame on others for ever misery in his life, even when most are brought on by himself. He has also told me our entire married life that I was responsible for his happiness. I hope his new girlfriend knows what she's in for.

That sounds like textbook al-anon material ; people who are in co-dependent relationships with alcoholics. At least alcoholics have something big and unavoidable that they have to deal with , if and when they come to that point. We can blame others for our messed up lives, but if we are to recover , we have to face our own demons and the disease of alcoholism .

The person who lives with or is married to or is the victim of an alcoholic is often at least as sick as the alcoholic . They can blame all their problems on the alcoholic , and never have to look at their own baggage (starting with ' what might be going on with me, that I think being here with this drunk is a good place to be?') . I've heard about alanon meetings , that it's a lot of whining and blaming and not that much in the way of changing yourself :icon_eek: . My mom is a good example; she's perfect , a great mother . She thinks she had an aunt that was an alchy (both her parents were !) , and that's probably why I became one . Certainly not anything to do with her influence (undermining) or input (non-involvement) . I had to crash and burn and almost die, and then I turned my life around 180; she's still about 99% the same ; still perfect . I believed that she was until I got well enough to see how being the child of drunks screwed her all up inside , but she's largely incapable and unwilling to examine that . She's not a drunk, so she doesn't have any of those problems , or so she thinks.

[Perfect Storm]

I think its worth while to keep the line between these two 'types' on a forum.

Or even have it in its own category ONLY. Then people are not randomly being subjected to fears that spread like a virus they currently dont have, but those needing help or willing to help can go in.

When you mixed the good with the bad, people who are new read all this horrifying stuff and it almost is like passing on the fear that the poster is suffering..

People coming here to learn about Spiritualism suddenly find posts about possession and demons and suddenly wonder what they are getting themselves into and turn around in fear.


I am all for being informed but fear can spread like a plague with these darker posts mixed in with the rest. I know when I went to an AP site and the General boards were filled with dark entities, evil, possesion, demons and I was like 'WTH!'.

It gives off the really 'dark' impression and its these first impressions that a lot of people take on board first. Start with demons and you will most likely some later on.

[Lightspirit]

Would this be a misery love company board? That might sound harsh, but it just reminds me of forums for depression and the like where people just groan about it continually and hey, I can do that too and do, but there's no coming out of it. I left forums like that because no one ever changed, got better, they just wallowed forever in it. Misery does love company and a fellow suffering person is great to comiserate with but those who are riding on a high with the right skills like empathy and kindness are really well equipped to help encourage people put of dark thinking and bad lifestyle habits that help cause sadness.

I just had a mental picture of two people living on junk food staying up late not sleeping much, not exercising or getting off the computer for long enough periods in a week discussing their lives with each other and wondering why they feel bad.

Aside from poor lifestyle choices causing sadness genuine mental anguish over depression or inner turmoil over hurt does need to be discussed with someone who is equipped to either listen and or give the right advice to help them out of misery.A place for that might be good for times in your life you cant understand why things are going wrong.

[Lightspirit]

I think its worth while to keep the line between these two 'types' on a forum.

Or even have it in its own category ONLY. Then people are not randomly being subjected to fears that spread like a virus they currently dont have, but those needing help or willing to help can go in.

When you mixed the good with the bad, people who are new read all this horrifying stuff and it almost is like passing on the fear that the poster is suffering..

People coming here to learn about Spiritualism suddenly find posts about possession and demons and suddenly wonder what they are getting themselves into and turn around in fear.




I am all for being informed but fear can spread like a plague with these darker posts mixed in with the rest. I know when I went to an AP site and the General boards were filled with dark entities, evil, possesion, demons and I was like 'WTH!'.

It gives off the really 'dark' impression and its these first impressions that a lot of people take on board first. Start with demons and you will most likely some later on.


Yeah if I see creepy stuff I dont like I pass over it pretty quick and dont look back and there is some creepy things here from time to time I really dont like.

Another thing that worries me a bit about people opening up publicly their innermost secrets is that it leaves the vulnerable and leaves it open for people in who knows what mental state themselves to take advantage or stuff up and say the wrong thing.

You would have to be very vigilant in moderating it for the sake of the people that share because one slip up with a badly depressed or sad person could step them a bit lower in that dark place.

[3dnow]

Yeah if I see creepy stuff I dont like I pass over it pretty quick and dont look back and there is some creepy things here from time to time I really dont like.

Another thing that worries me a bit about people opening up publicly their innermost secrets is that it leaves the vulnerable and leaves it open for people in who knows what mental state themselves to take advantage or stuff up and say the wrong thing.

You would have to be very vigilant in moderating it for the sake of the people that share because one slip up with a badly depressed or sad person could step them a bit lower in that dark place.

Yes you are right.. Good points thanks.

3d

[Perfect Storm]

I think there should be, if not another site, a sub-section for anything like that along with a warning and a line to say that its is not a given fact that people will experience something.

Otherwise it sounds like it happens to everyone a lot.

[TzuJanLi]

Greetings..

It would be refreshing to be able to speak freely, clearly..

Be well..

[3dnow]

Greetings..

It would be refreshing to be able to speak freely, clearly..

Be well..

Yes I need this too.

3d

[Mountain-Goat]

well i hope you both find your abilities to do so.

I remember back in the good ol' bad ol' days of my marriage, so much inner turmoil, not able to say what i wanted to say, not knowing how to express my self.

Even further back during my pre teens i was very aware of the inner restrictions that stopped me from being able to speak freely and clearly.

The core reason I had these inner restrictions, i believed i was of no value, so my words also were of no value.
Even though i was in great pain and was being psychologically and sometimes physically abused(nothing serious, just common everyday bullying type stuff from family and others),
i did not speak because without being conscious of it, i was controled by my belief of no value so i had no right to stand up for myself or complain.

Oh i was aware i hated myself for not being able to do these things and i was aware of these inner blockages( aware the existed but had no understanding of what they were contructed with),
but i was not aware of the core believe that all those problems were anchored to.

Weeee, look at me now, you can't shut me up!
I've slowly since my mid 30's been increasing my ability to speak freely and clearly by healing all the wounds i acquired.

But the big breakthrough has been these last 3 years, which is of course due to the total healing of depression via the discovery and removal of the core belief that I was of no value.
And the continuing healing journey of late of removing a core belief of being ashamed of who i am as opposed to being ashamed of things i have done.
Which of course , to me, is the process of loving myself.
Please don't think I am inferring anything about you two. All I have done is express my experiences.

I miss maggador.

Hah, check this out...
I miss maggador.
I, miss maggador.
Behold the power of the comma, able to transform names and genders of people!
With great power comes great responsibility, choose your words carefully, you could poke somebody's eye out with those things.

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

I can look at the whole 'awakening ' process as being all about higher aspects of our being opening up and manifesting more of their energies here, and that that is not determined by our personal details . That's one perspective , but it's one that comes after we've trancsended beinmg limited to our personal details . The 'lower' aspects don't determine the functioning of the higher ... BUT...

...they do act as the window through which we filter our experiences here . My own history and experience of this life has been full of turmoil and misery ; all tied in with the malfuntioning of my personal aspects , the details of my life . I don't see it like getting those things in order caused be to awaken --that's the old perspective , from the bottom up -- but rather that
higher aspects , operating outside the scope of my personal will and limited conscious mind , began to break through here .

Because I was in such a messed up state --bad alcoholic, emotional breakdown and borderline psychosis -- there was quite a lot of drama , some of which I've written about here . It was a time of great upheaval , and I had to address all the personal issues and find a way to live a new life . Again, I don't look at it like all those things caused awakwening , I see it as awakening causing all those things to come to the surface and the issue of me dealing with my issues was forced.

Being willing to do so was criticla, and acquiring this model , with it's reversed, expanded , perspective also helped a lot . But the only real point about this thread I want to make is that , one way or another , we (at least I do) need to resolve this personal stuff to be completely free to live in spirit (or however you label it) .

There should be a palce on a spiritual forum for personal issues, because our personal selves are the windows that we have onto the universe. Clearing out the garbage is like cleaning off the window so we can see the universe (god, our true nature, et. al ) clearly . Or be willing to allow spirit to clear the window--either way you look at it , you have to be willing and participate in the process .

two more cents

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

more later ...