My brick wall of spiritual development

[Windward]

I require a little bit of guidance and words of wisdom on a matter that I believe, for the most part, to be an inner problem that I cannot quite pinpoint and has, quite frankly, been driving me bonkers on the physical level, emotional level, and perhaps most importantly, the spiritual level.

Few years ago, I was quite involved in my own spiritual development. I put in a great deal of patience to discover that particulars of my own ego, the meanings of my existence, the possibilities that can be unraveled with an open mind, the things that I too often ignore, and the joys of believing that one can be more than just flesh, blood, and thoughts. I've studied chakras, I've studied many forms of spiritual healing, I've examined many different kinds of philosophies, and I felt very comforted in just being who I am and possessing a unique perspective on spirituality and life itself.

Problem is, today, I no longer feel comforted, nor grounded on much of what I had learned in the past. A large part of me struggles with life in itself where I yearn for an understanding of my life predicaments that consists of endless challenges and never quite fitting in. I still keep an open-mind, and for the most part, a cool demeanor when faced with challenges and uncertainties. I consider myself strong willed, and yet I feel an innermost struggle or even suffering because I cannot quite get my thoughts in alignment. In short, I've ran into a spiritual crisis.

My lifestyle is pretty ordinary in respect to the most other lifestyles out there. I work to earn an honest living, and I try to get through everyday being a part of a largely secular world where spirituality isn't exactly a topic that most people talk about. I studied years of university that are mostly contradictory to the kind of things that are discussed in this forum. In a way, living my life as it is with so many contradictions have made me both skeptical about my beliefs which I hold dear, and confused as a being of flesh, blood, mind, and spirit. I feel like a de-railed train at times and feel as though I have lost something dear.

Being a bit of a healer in the past too with a bit of experience working with others, I feel a slight touch of irony because it seems as though I have failed in healing myself. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I am seeking for advice.

Really, I have little to ask for except to find some inner peace.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this?

Any advice for the lost?

[Quagmire]

My advice would be patience. I sense you might try to force changes to come and when they do not come you get frustrated. You need to let go of these frustration and let the changes come on their own.

[Orbie]

Yes I have! The previous poster has give you such good advice too :)

I think in some ways I can relate to your predicament in some ways. I have spent the last three or four years in a similar state of limbo and eventually came to the conclusion that I should just put the suitcase down and kinda, well not give in but just get on with it, live life and stop yearning for something that I had had a taste/glimpse of. That time when the plug was in the socket and I was really doing what I felt I should be. Note the "I" in that last sentence?

When you dont know what is "blocking" you its one of the most frustrating but I suspect, one of the most fruitful times in your learning. Be brave enough to look at the things that annoy you, frighten you or upset you too.

Peace of mind? Ah, I felt that once, twas fab!!


Be happy
Good luck :)

[Windward]

Thanks for your words. Perhaps a little patience and a little bit of looking will help things down the road. I always had a problem being slightly impulsive and irritable when things don't come a certain way, but ah, there is always something to learn every day in the complex nature of life.

[Quagmire]

but ah, there is always something to learn every day in the complex nature of life.

That is the great thing is it not. Even when me think we know it all, there is still more to learn :wink:

[silent whisper]

I require a little bit of guidance and words of wisdom on a matter that I believe, for the most part, to be an inner problem that I cannot quite pinpoint and has, quite frankly, been driving me bonkers on the physical level, emotional level, and perhaps most importantly, the spiritual level.

Few years ago, I was quite involved in my own spiritual development. I put in a great deal of patience to discover that particulars of my own ego, the meanings of my existence, the possibilities that can be unraveled with an open mind, the things that I too often ignore, and the joys of believing that one can be more than just flesh, blood, and thoughts. I've studied chakras, I've studied many forms of spiritual healing, I've examined many different kinds of philosophies, and I felt very comforted in just being who I am and possessing a unique perspective on spirituality and life itself.

Problem is, today, I no longer feel comforted, nor grounded on much of what I had learned in the past. A large part of me struggles with life in itself where I yearn for an understanding of my life predicaments that consists of endless challenges and never quite fitting in. I still keep an open-mind, and for the most part, a cool demeanor when faced with challenges and uncertainties. I consider myself strong willed, and yet I feel an innermost struggle or even suffering because I cannot quite get my thoughts in alignment. In short, I've ran into a spiritual crisis.

My lifestyle is pretty ordinary in respect to the most other lifestyles out there. I work to earn an honest living, and I try to get through everyday being a part of a largely secular world where spirituality isn't exactly a topic that most people talk about. I studied years of university that are mostly contradictory to the kind of things that are discussed in this forum. In a way, living my life as it is with so many contradictions have made me both skeptical about my beliefs which I hold dear, and confused as a being of flesh, blood, mind, and spirit. I feel like a de-railed train at times and feel as though I have lost something dear.

Being a bit of a healer in the past too with a bit of experience working with others, I feel a slight touch of irony because it seems as though I have failed in healing myself. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I am seeking for advice.

Really, I have little to ask for except to find some inner peace.

Has anyone ever experienced something like this?

Any advice for the lost?


In your knowlege and awarness now the path of the next phase of your journey will be to apply it all, but with a deeper understanding of where you fit within the space of this awarness. I am taken to your words...cool demenour..this might link to the space of stepping up now. Stepping into something in a new way. If you are not grounded in lifes predicaments, I am wondering if all that you have learned is not in allingment with more than just your thoughts, but some inner turmoil or conflict. I have worked extensively with Kiniesology to let go of mind patterns that were in conflict with my inner knowing and awareness. Would you consider something like this to help you along? I had remarkable results. It works with changing the old patterns to create new ones so the allingment can integrate..as one.

[psychoslice]

I would say to forget all that you have learnt, and try to find who you truly are, you are not chakras and all of that stuff, you are beyond anything to do with the mind, If you try to go within into that place that feels silent, and while there just watch the mind, watch it stir, it will try to find something there, for it always needs something to cling to.

In this silence realize that you are all that there IS, feel yourself connecting to all there IS, then let go of the connection, because in this inner Being or Consciousness, there is no connection, for all is One, there is nothing outside this oneness, for this Oneness, is within and without.

This is all that you need to do, this is all that you are, forget about spiritual toys, you can play with them later, in fact when you are One with all, and have Realized your place that is pure Consciousness, you may not want to play with these toys ever again, you now live your life without all the questions, because now you realize there is no answers, there is just you, and you are all that there IS.

[oliness]

Maybe it will help to consider a devotional practice. Basically prayer and love for the Divine, however you visualize or conceive of that. One of the things often missed out today is I think a devotional, relational practice. I believe this is an important complement to practices based on mindfulness or energy work.

In those practices the aim is to realize an identity with spirit beyond our ordinary identity. But as well as that, we can also be our ordinary identity relating to spirit that is something beyond ourselves. Both are different perspectives and both can be included.

If you have been a healer in the past, it may help to imagine the Divine healing you. If for example you relate strongly to Christ, imagine His light coming into your heart as you pray to Him and healing you. Or imagine God the Father being present with you in prayer, and bringing you comfort.

I believe this is perhaps the best way if you feel lost or lonely to gain strength and peace.

[Quagmire]

Good advise oliness but (and this is just a guess) I sense that Windward already have too much in his head and the problem is that he do not know where to place it all, so putting more in there might not be the best wisdom yet. Also sense that the more he try to place all his knowledge the more lost he gets so psychoslice says it quite well when he says: forget about spiritual toys, you can play with them later. I have this wording I use: always give your head time to digest the food it gets... you don't want it to become constipated :tongue:

[Xan]

Problem is, today, I no longer feel comforted, nor grounded on much of what I had learned in the past. A large part of me struggles with life in itself where I yearn for an understanding of my life predicaments that consists of endless challenges and never quite fitting in. I still keep an open-mind, and for the most part, a cool demeanor when faced with challenges and uncertainties. I consider myself strong willed, and yet I feel an innermost struggle or even suffering because I cannot quite get my thoughts in alignment. In short, I've ran into a spiritual crisis.


Congratulations, Windward! You've just been kicked upstairs!

The ways that were working for you no longer work for your inner peace and understanding. I've been through this kind of disruption and have found there's only one good approach: Give Up!

This means letting go of what you've learned and developed previously, to make room for a new order to come into you.

It's frustrating and it's scarey, but once you get into surrendering all you know and think you know, little by little, a higher level of knowing and experiencing the truth of your being arises.

This phase certainly doesn't feel good, but it Is good... in the long run.


blessings
Xan

[Mr Interesting]

Yeah Windward, I get where your coming from as I've been going through something similar myself. Not quite the same but close enough to be relevant.

Basically I lost all my ambition... to do anything or be anything and just lived day to day for ages... but the money stopped arriving.

So I had to figure out how to have ambitions but without being personally involved.

I'm still working it out but recently had a coupla instances of a whole bunch of building materials landing in my lap. It's like I'd given up on this outward striving... but the universe still wants me to keep on a certain path... achieving certain things.

So it's really interesting these transitions that come to us and how we get to the next stage.
It's like all those little things we'ed learned to help us acclimatise to a surer self in a crazed world... well that was just the beginning. All those little things together make a tipping point were we just gotta hold on hope for the best... and the funny thing is that people who hold out for the best... they usually get it!

[Windward]

I have worked extensively with Kiniesology to let go of mind patterns that were in conflict with my inner knowing and awareness. Would you consider something like this to help you along? I had remarkable results. It works with changing the old patterns to create new ones so the allingment can integrate..as one.


That is very interesting concept. Something to consider for sure. What is the approach in this?

[Windward]

I would say to forget all that you have learnt, and try to find who you truly are, you are not chakras and all of that stuff, you are beyond anything to do with the mind, If you try to go within into that place that feels silent, and while there just watch the mind, watch it stir, it will try to find something there, for it always needs something to cling to.

In this silence realize that you are all that there IS, feel yourself connecting to all there IS, then let go of the connection, because in this inner Being or Consciousness, there is no connection, for all is One, there is nothing outside this oneness, for this Oneness, is within and without.

This is all that you need to do, this is all that you are, forget about spiritual toys, you can play with them later, in fact when you are One with all, and have Realized your place that is pure Consciousness, you may not want to play with these toys ever again, you now live your life without all the questions, because now you realize there is no answers, there is just you, and you are all that there IS.

I remember once of simply being as one with myself. Or at least the understanding of it. Probably took a wrong turn somewhere and become too caught up with everything else.

Thanks for the insight.

[Windward]

Maybe it will help to consider a devotional practice. Basically prayer and love for the Divine, however you visualize or conceive of that. One of the things often missed out today is I think a devotional, relational practice. I believe this is an important complement to practices based on mindfulness or energy work.

In those practices the aim is to realize an identity with spirit beyond our ordinary identity. But as well as that, we can also be our ordinary identity relating to spirit that is something beyond ourselves. Both are different perspectives and both can be included.

If you have been a healer in the past, it may help to imagine the Divine healing you. If for example you relate strongly to Christ, imagine His light coming into your heart as you pray to Him and healing you. Or imagine God the Father being present with you in prayer, and bringing you comfort.

I believe this is perhaps the best way if you feel lost or lonely to gain strength and peace.

I pray everyday, but sometimes I feel unattached to devotions or unconcerned. I feel that it is important, but at the same time, it is as though the world has numbed me somewhat. Sometimes I sit here thinking my prayers will just go unanswered, and I need to really sort out what exactly to believe... if that makes sense.

I suppose it requires a little patience. I'm probably side-tracked somewhere. I remember Darth Vader's quote "your lack of faith is disturbing," and as funny as that sounds, perhaps I've been lacking a little bit of it. Life is full of learning and unlearning, so I need to feel things out a little.

[Windward]

Good advise oliness but (and this is just a guess) I sense that Windward already have too much in his head and the problem is that he do not know where to place it all, so putting more in there might not be the best wisdom yet. Also sense that the more he try to place all his knowledge the more lost he gets so psychoslice says it quite well when he says: forget about spiritual toys, you can play with them later. I have this wording I use: always give your head time to digest the food it gets... you don't want it to become constipated :tongue:


Hehe, yeah, can't eat too much at once can't we

[Windward]

Congratulations, Windward! You've just been kicked upstairs!

The ways that were working for you no longer work for your inner peace and understanding. I've been through this kind of disruption and have found there's only one good approach: Give Up!

This means letting go of what you've learned and developed previously, to make room for a new order to come into you.

It's frustrating and it's scarey, but once you get into surrendering all you know and think you know, little by little, a higher level of knowing and experiencing the truth of your being arises.

This phase certainly doesn't feel good, but it Is good... in the long run.


blessings
Xan


It is a little bit intimidating I must admit. Thanks for your advice :smile:

[Windward]

Yeah Windward, I get where your coming from as I've been going through something similar myself. Not quite the same but close enough to be relevant.

Basically I lost all my ambition... to do anything or be anything and just lived day to day for ages... but the money stopped arriving.

So I had to figure out how to have ambitions but without being personally involved.

I'm still working it out but recently had a coupla instances of a whole bunch of building materials landing in my lap. It's like I'd given up on this outward striving... but the universe still wants me to keep on a certain path... achieving certain things.

So it's really interesting these transitions that come to us and how we get to the next stage.
It's like all those little things we'ed learned to help us acclimatise to a surer self in a crazed world... well that was just the beginning. All those little things together make a tipping point were we just gotta hold on hope for the best... and the funny thing is that people who hold out for the best... they usually get it!


It is a crazy world. I guess it's keeping a balance between letting go and being ready for the next challenge around the corner

[Enya]

Life is full of learning and unlearning, so I need to feel things out a little.
That's it in a nutshell. As Xan said - GIVE UP! I've done this many a time and always had a huge 'shift' as soon as I do, but no one can tell you exactly when or how to do so - that has to come from Within. This is a good place to be. Feel your way forward... or within... :wink:

[Winepenny]

“You will never have it ‘all together’...that’s like trying to eat ‘once and for all.’” (Dr. Robert Anthony)
Unfortunately, for those who are searching, there are lots of dead-ends and entanglements. I doubt that any cult or sect or religion has all the answers, but, collectively, maybe they come close. Christianity has some of the answers, so does Zen Buddhism, the Charismatics, the followers of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon and even gurus like Bhagwan Shree Rajineesh, who is supposed to be a living embodiment of God – but, then, aren’t we all?In any case, the notion of giving up everything you've already learned is preposterous -- like the shelves in your mind are somehow too full. Phooey.
As long as you are open to new experiences, and are able to contain your judgements, growth is inevitable. Remember, God designed the learning system we are immersed in. So, get comfy and ask: "Okay Big Guy, what next?"