How do you tell the difference

[Kamal]

Between forgiveness or suppression of emotion
Between true selflessness or ego
Between charity or the desire to increase ones self worth (ego)
Between accepting and letting go or ignoring (or covering up with lies)



The more I come to realize what the ego is the more dumbfounded I've become. To the point in which I don't even speak because I can't tell if I'm just inflating my ego or something else.

For example today I was talking to my sister and I was about to say, "I wrote about this topic and this teacher really likes this kinda stuff."

At first glance it seems fine, but when closely analyzed what purpose does it serve? It's like telling someone your angry at someone. It won't help the other person nor you. The ideal way is just accepting what or whoever angered you and let it go (harder then it sounds =/)
I stopped myself before saying it because truly there was no purpose in saying other than to tell my sister that I was doing this topic and this teacher will be impressed with me, ect.

It's a little frustrating because it seems like almost everything is my ego talking. Unless its a spiritual subject, which in that case it could still be the ego but its easier to talk from a more pure informative or advice giving sense.

Am I making any sense haha? I'm sure some of you know what I am talking about...how did you find the deviation between your true self and the ego..?


Ex. How do you know if you're giving money to a homeless man because you truly feel sympathy for him and desire to bring him happiness at your own expense or if your giving money because you'll feel better about yourself (you'll feel deep, compassionate, ect)

[silent whisper]

Between forgiveness or suppression of emotion
Between true selflessness or ego
Between charity or the desire to increase ones self worth (ego)
Between accepting and letting go or ignoring (or covering up with lies)



The more I come to realize what the ego is the more dumbfounded I've become. To the point in which I don't even speak because I can't tell if I'm just inflating my ego or something else.

For example today I was talking to my sister and I was about to say, "I wrote about this topic and this teacher really likes this kinda stuff."

At first glance it seems fine, but when closely analyzed what purpose does it serve? It's like telling someone your angry at someone. It won't help the other person nor you. The ideal way is just accepting what or whoever angered you and let it go (harder then it sounds =/)
I stopped myself before saying it because truly there was no purpose in saying other than to tell my sister that I was doing this topic and this teacher will be impressed with me, ect.

It's a little frustrating because it seems like almost everything is my ego talking. Unless its a spiritual subject, which in that case it could still be the ego but its easier to talk from a more pure informative or advice giving sense.

Am I making any sense haha? I'm sure some of you know what I am talking about...how did you find the deviation between your true self and the ego..?


Ex. How do you know if you're giving money to a homeless man because you truly feel sympathy for him and desire to bring him happiness at your own expense or if your giving money because you'll feel better about yourself (you'll feel deep, compassionate, ect)


For true deep and lasting connections, we do have to find that space of expression that is our own hearts guide. When I read what you gave up to speak, it felt like their was a moment missed. We are spirit having a human experience..the voice and feelings and emotions are there to be used. Your heart is your best guide, not the ego or mind. All are useful, but if your heart is saing one thing and your mind is saying stop that........then for me it comes back to heart and intuition. Listening to what feels right to share and give and trusting fully in that space..that it is for both parties.
We are all connected, yet we hold back things because it is not spiritual..When my son is angry at me and I feel his anger...When he is proud and happy and shares that I feel that too........and deep in my heart I smile because he has embraced what he feels..and he is not afraid to share how he feels no matter it is that he is expressing..

Allow yourself, you allow others...simple really.

[Xan]

How do you tell the difference
Between forgiveness or suppression of emotion
Between true selflessness or ego
Between charity or the desire to increase ones self worth (ego)
Between accepting and letting go or ignoring (or covering up with lies)


This is a good question, Kamal.

I tell the difference by the feeling in myself and my body... of open, accepting and free; or closed and pushing or resistant. Guess which is which. :wink:

And here's this: Why try to second guess your motives for whatever you're doing? Just stay centered within your quiet true self and do what comes naturally.


Xan

[Gem]

Between forgiveness or suppression of emotion
Between true selflessness or ego
Between charity or the desire to increase ones self worth (ego)
Between accepting and letting go or ignoring (or covering up with lies)



The more I come to realize what the ego is the more dumbfounded I've become. To the point in which I don't even speak because I can't tell if I'm just inflating my ego or something else.

Yea... listening to these spiritual ones makes me feel like that too.

For example today I was talking to my sister and I was about to say, "I wrote about this topic and this teacher really likes this kinda stuff."

At first glance it seems fine, but when closely analyzed what purpose does it serve? It's like telling someone your angry at someone. It won't help the other person nor you. The ideal way is just accepting what or whoever angered you and let it go (harder then it sounds =/)
I stopped myself before saying it because truly there was no purpose in saying other than to tell my sister that I was doing this topic and this teacher will be impressed with me, ect.

It's a little frustrating because it seems like almost everything is my ego talking. Unless its a spiritual subject, which in that case it could still be the ego but its easier to talk from a more pure informative or advice giving sense.

Am I making any sense haha? I'm sure some of you know what I am talking about...how did you find the deviation between your true self and the ego..?


Ex. How do you know if you're giving money to a homeless man because you truly feel sympathy for him and desire to bring him happiness at your own expense or if your giving money because you'll feel better about yourself (you'll feel deep, compassionate, ect)

Maybe for the essay you write to your teacher, analyse and make the distinctions, but for yourself... just be as you are.

[Mr Interesting]

When I require nothing in return.

When I feel lighter.

When I forget it.

When it doesn't matter.

Basically when action doesn't require thinking.

[3dnow]

Between forgiveness or suppression of emotion
)

I accept and self-forgive anger/hatred too when it happens.

But I know that unforgiving is an illusion (there should be something wrong in my mind , a misconception)

[Mountain-Goat]

...how did you find the deviation between your true self and the ego..? By accepting that my ego is my true self, and be detaching from beliefs\theories such as true and false self.
Thus accepting that my ego is me just as equally as all the other parts of myself.
Ex. How do you know if you're giving money to a homeless man because you truly feel sympathy for him and desire to bring him happiness at your own expense or if your giving money because you'll feel better about yourself (you'll feel deep, compassionate, ect) How does anyone know anything about themself?
By observing, enquiring, testing, evaluating, by experiencing...openly and honestly.
Using your example, I may explore and discover I have genuine compassion for the homeless, and in being so I act and help.
But while looking I have also discovered that not only doing such acts makes me feel better about myself,
but also being aware I have the attribute of compassion for others also makes me feel good about myself.

I don't see any conflict here.
Should I feel bad or nothing about myself when I do things I judge as good?
Is feeling good about myself, admiring or appreciating my qualities a bad thing?
It seems to be so according to some beliefs. Apparently feeling good about myself is wrong, I should be ashamed of myself or something.

Yes, the initial motive is important.
I do good because i love the other. Feeling good about myself is one of the results, a wonderful side affect.
The first is selfless(focus and care for others), the latter selfish(focus and care of self).
Apparently, selfishness, loving oneself is bad, in some cirlces.

The thing to be aware of is balance.
Imbalance causes problems.
Loving others without loving oneself is imbalance.
Loving myself without loving others is imbalance.
Loving myself and others is balance.
Ex. How do you know if you're giving money to a homeless man because you truly feel sympathy for him and desire to bring him happiness at your own expense or if your giving money because you'll feel better about yourself (you'll feel deep, compassionate, ect) If I act compassionatley towards another, of course I am going to feel\sense\klnow\think\believe I am compassionate.
Not rocket science to see that.
It appears that the problem is in the acknowledgement of these feelings\thoughts\ self evaluation.
Like it's ok for others to appreciate your qualities, but it's not ok to appreciate oneself.
I think hybrid was pointing to this back in the love thread when he theorized my self love as a form of naricissim

Notice how self loving is an attribute of both ego\egotism and narcissim.
But also notice the bolded sections.

narcissistic personality: Personality marked by self-love and self-absorption; unrealistic views about your own qualities and little regard for others.

Egotistic: Characteristic of those having an inflated idea of their own importance.
Synonym: egotistical, narcissistic, self-loving.
Similar: selfish.

If you love others equally as you love yourself, then self love is not a problem.
If you value yourself as equal to others, ego is not a problem.

It's when you think you are better than others, or you think you have qualities you do not have,
or you get high(inflated- bigger, but no substance) on the ones you have, or you care for yourself more than others,
that's when you are imbalanced and out of touch with reality.

Like the old Skyhooks song, Ego in not a dirty word.
Ego is yourself, it's when you think you are better than others, that's when ego becomes imbalanced and becomes Egotistic.

When I love myself, I do not need to do good deeds to feel good about myself.
I already feel good about myself because I love who I am.
I do good deeds because I love others and want to help.

I am already aware of my good qualities, i accept and acknowledge them and I lovingly use them to help my brothers and sisters.
It's the self awareness of them that gives me reason to help. Can't help if I have nothing to help with.


I have an ego, which apparently is myself, or at least my awareness of myself, my identity,
my attributes, both good and bad according to my own evaluations.

Ego:
1 (psychoanalysis) The conscious mind.
2 Your consciousness of your own identity.
3 An inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others.
Why have they included #3 i do not know as it's completely different from the other two.
To me, the first two are definitions of ego itself, the third is when one's self evaluation is distorted.

Ego is not a dirty word, imbalanced ego is though.
An ego, a self perception that feels superior or inferior to others,
or one that only acknowledges the good and not the bad of oneself.
Or the one that denies itself...the whole religious self sacrificing deal.

I have only begun the loving myself journey 2005ish. The concept of loving myself never entered my conscious self till then.
Being very aware of loving myself only kicked in abck then, though in the background there has always been self loving,
hidden behind mountains of self hatred.
Technically everyone loves themselves in various degrees.
Everytime you eat when your hungry, that is self love. That is self care, self doing the best for oneself.
But to accept and appreciate my qualities and feel good about myself,
to acknowledge, accept and work toward healing, changing, improving that which I regarded as needed doing,
seeing I was the same as everyone else, human, flawed, imperfect,
that is fairly new to me and took me quite a few years to get accustomed to.

Humilty. I looked it up in the dictionary and it's not the word I am looking for.

I am looking for a word that means I acknowlege all that I am and I see you are the same, so there is not sense of higher or lower values.
Love is not competitive, love accepts all others as one and the same.

[Xan]

Ego is not a dirty word but it does represent our conditioned self-identity and masks our true self.
Learning to discern between the two is a key element of our spiritual growth.


Xan

[Emmalevine]

I like what Gill Edwards said....if it feels heavy, don't do it!

[Mountain-Goat]

Ego is not a dirty word but it does represent our conditioned self-identity and masks our true self.
Learning to discern between the two is a key element of our spiritual growth.


Xan
If that is what you believe Xan, if that is the path you have chosen to take, I am happy for you.
I have chosen a different path, one that does not separate, one that does not segregate self into true and false parts.
And according to my own self evalution and confirmative evaluations of others, my spiritual growth is going very well.

If you believe your path is the only way to grow, then by all means believe whatever you want.
My continuing successes of healings and breakthoughs and ability to love more are evidence enough for me that this path is what I am meant to be on.

[Xan]

I would never negate your or anyone else's path, AC.

What I share is for those who are involved in discovering and surrendering into our true nature.

But may I remind you that you've told us there was a time when you judged yourself in some ways, then corrected that wrong idea and feeling to loving yourself.

It's important work that you did... going from false to true in that way.


Xan

[silent whisper]

If that is what you believe Xan, if that is the path you have chosen to take, I am happy for you.
I have chosen a different path, one that does not separate, one that does not segregate self into true and false parts.
And according to my own self evalution and confirmative evaluations of others, my spiritual growth is going very well.

If you believe your path is the only way to grow, then by all means believe whatever you want.
My continuing successes of healings and breakthoughs and ability to love more are evidence enough for me that this path is what I am meant to be on.


Its is indeed AC...I admire your stand to speak your truth...

[Mountain-Goat]

What I share is for those who are involved in discovering and surrendering into our true nature. Then what you say is not for me because I do not attach to a belief there is a thing as a true or false nature.
There is just, my nature. That which is.
But may I remind you that you've told us there was a time when you judged yourself in some ways, then corrected that wrong idea and feeling to loving yourself.

It's important work that you did... going from false to true in that way.

Xan Using your true-false concept.
Before, when i hated myself, that was who I truely was.
Now that I love myself, that is who I truely am.

Remove the true - false concept.
Before, when i hated myself, that was who I was.
Now that I love myself, this is who I am.
That was, and now is my reality.
Neither are true or false. They were both real.

If you have some knowledge of an ultimate true self that you are aspiring to, then go for it.
If you have some knowledge that anything different from this ultimate true self is a false self, then go for it.

I follow the concept of growth\transformation, in that each stage is my real self.
If I am not satisfied with a current state, I choose to change it.
I do not need to attach labels of true and false to determine what things I desire to change.
Nor do I see the logic in labeling any current wounds, dysfunctions incorrect knowledge, perceptions, beliefs as true or false.
It's important work that you did... going from false to true in that way. I know my healing work is important.
Stating it's a journey from false to true is your reality, your belief, not mine.

If i say I am not on a false to true jorney, you are free to disagree with that.
You are free to claim i am on a false to true journey.
You are free to place reality into any categories you wish.
But they are your beliefs, your categories, not mine.

There is no false and true on my current path.
You claiming there is only makes it so for you and whoever shares your view.

[Xan]

There is something beyond belief, beyond the mind that believes.

The op is simply about how to tell the difference.


Xan

[athribiristan]

Between forgiveness or suppression of emotion
Between true selflessness or ego
Between charity or the desire to increase ones self worth (ego)
Between accepting and letting go or ignoring (or covering up with lies)



The more I come to realize what the ego is the more dumbfounded I've become. To the point in which I don't even speak because I can't tell if I'm just inflating my ego or something else.

For example today I was talking to my sister and I was about to say, "I wrote about this topic and this teacher really likes this kinda stuff."

At first glance it seems fine, but when closely analyzed what purpose does it serve? It's like telling someone your angry at someone. It won't help the other person nor you. The ideal way is just accepting what or whoever angered you and let it go (harder then it sounds =/)
I stopped myself before saying it because truly there was no purpose in saying other than to tell my sister that I was doing this topic and this teacher will be impressed with me, ect.

It's a little frustrating because it seems like almost everything is my ego talking. Unless its a spiritual subject, which in that case it could still be the ego but its easier to talk from a more pure informative or advice giving sense.

Am I making any sense haha? I'm sure some of you know what I am talking about...how did you find the deviation between your true self and the ego..?


Ex. How do you know if you're giving money to a homeless man because you truly feel sympathy for him and desire to bring him happiness at your own expense or if your giving money because you'll feel better about yourself (you'll feel deep, compassionate, ect)

Simply ask what your motivation is. It is not always easy to see the answer to that question but when you find it you will know.

[Mountain-Goat]

Its is indeed AC...I admire your stand to speak your truth...

My dawta, from the time she could speak to when she transformed into a monster, relied on me for her understanding of life.
I was here guide to life the universe and everything, and we had a lot of fun traversing it together.
The monster of course, is when a child becomes a teenager.

One night she went to bed, a friend and student of her father, me.
The next morning I was confronted with some horrible raging creature that told me to shutup, stop telling what to do, disagreeing with me about all manner of things, declaring She's not stupid so I don't have to explain things to her.

It took me a month or so with the aid of a few informative psychology books to not only understand what has happened to her, but how to adjust and help her.

My dawta was transitioning from dependant child to self suffient adult.
A natural phase of growing up, of becoming mature.
Marriage breakup, beautiful strong will and courage to express herself, and a few other attributes
all adding to the violent and explosive way she conducted herself during this phase.

I was in shock when I first encountered it, but quickly changed to joy and pride to see her grow and become an adult.

She was learning how to stand in her own truth.
She had been growing in ability to think for herself beyond understanding and accepting of all I taught her.

I think this is the natural course for the human species, to internally grow up.
To trust in one's own abilities to understand reality and choose a course according to one's own conclusions.
Self trust, self confidence, self empowerment. To be the master of one's own life.

And maybe this is why there are many paths to awe, because each individual path is a path of self mastery.
Perhaps the road to truth or awe as I rather call it, is not about discovering external things,
but is about discovering oneself, knowing oneself, accepting, loving, healing oneself.
Perhaps this is the heaven religions speak of.
Nirvana or whatever ultimate goal religions and philosophies speak of.

[silent whisper]

My dawta, from the time she could speak to when she transformed into a monster, relied on me for her understanding of life.
I was here guide to life the universe and everything, and we had a lot of fun traversing it together.
The monster of course, is when a child becomes a teenager.

One night she went to bed, a friend and student of her father, me.
The next morning I was confronted with some horrible raging creature that told me to shutup, stop telling what to do, disagreeing with me about all manner of things, declaring She's not stupid so I don't have to explain things to her.

It took me a month or so with the aid of a few informative psychology books to not only understand what has happened to her, but how to adjust and help her.

My dawta was transitioning from dependant child to self suffient adult.
A natural phase of growing up, of becoming mature.
Marriage breakup, beautiful strong will and courage to express herself, and a few other attributes
all adding to the violent and explosive way she conducted herself during this phase.

I was in shock when I first encountered it, but quickly changed to joy and pride to see her grow and become an adult.

She was learning how to stand in her own truth.
She had been growing in ability to think for herself beyond understanding and accepting of all I taught her.

I think this is the natural course for the human species, to internally grow up.
To trust in one's own abilities to understand reality and choose a course according to one's own conclusions.
Self trust, self confidence, self empowerment. To be the master of one's own life.

And maybe this is why there are many paths to awe, because each individual path is a path of self mastery.
Perhaps the road to truth or awe as I rather call it, is not about discovering external things,
but is about discovering oneself, knowing oneself, accepting, loving, healing oneself.
Perhaps this is the heaven religions speak of.
Nirvana or whatever ultimate goal religions and philosophies speak of.


And what a beautiful gift you are to your daughter...I have a teen as well...I understand exactly what you are sharing...

Be proud, you deserve it.

[sound]

Ex. How do you know if you're giving money to a homeless man because you truly feel sympathy for him and desire to bring him happiness at your own expense or if your giving money because you'll feel better about yourself (you'll feel deep, compassionate, ect)
It makes no difference to him ... he still gets a feed

[Gem]

It makes no difference to him ... he still gets a feed
I think when you find it's fun... then it's pure... like when I was in brizzie I'd see some old drunk passed our in a doorway and quietly slip ten bucks in... so whae he woke up he'd be like 'hey ten bucks.... (and only 2 hours till the bottle shop opens)'

[sound]

Yeah ... and they dont need to know where it came from for it to be 'useful' ... and for the giver to imagine the delight/the lift is enough ...

[Gem]

Yeah ... and they dont need to know where it came from for it to be 'useful' ... and for the giver to imagine the delight/the lift is enough ...

I'd get a buzz out imagining him getting up, finding the tenner, and getting a big surprize.

When I was in Sydney... I had a rule I'd give ten bucks to a homeless one every time I went out. Usually wait till I saw one searching a bin, or picking up cigarette butts.

I go up and say 'here, have ten bucks.'

[Kamal]

I feel as if 90 percent of what I say is from my ego. Maybe it would be easier to just talk very little.
But then i would have to give up my friends haha

[Royalite]

Well when you use words, it's a form of communication that requires the ego. We have ego as a tool. Use it. There's nothing wrong with that. But don't allow it to use you.

[Gem]

Just talk. I know the spiritual environment is quite repressive, I mean god forbid we reveal 'ego', and everything has to measured and considered in case our unspiritual self is revealed... OMG it's so inane.

[Kamal]

I was reading this....http://deoxy.org/egofalse.htm

this makes complete sense to me, but if seems as if if I were to follow the path away from the ego and towards the self I would have to give up my personality. The way I dress, the way i style my hair, music i listen too, anything that is not necessary towards the path or fuels my "Ego."

is this why monks dress the way they do? Just simple robes and shaved head as a means to not to try to be an individual, to not get attention, to not fuel the ego?

this is very confusing.

[silent whisper]

I was reading this....http://deoxy.org/egofalse.htm

this makes complete sense to me, but if seems as if if I were to follow the path away from the ego and towards the self I would have to give up my personality. The way I dress, the way i style my hair, music i listen too, anything that is not necessary towards the path or fuels my "Ego."

is this why monks dress the way they do? Just simple robes and shaved head as a means to not to try to be an individual, to not get attention, to not fuel the ego?

this is very confusing.


And in that moment you realize, it is time to venture to the mountain top, where you are one with all, their is a choice in life to live it how you wish to live. The robe, shaved head and not seeking attention......in another souls collective expression becomes acceptance and peace within, so confusion no longer disturbs.

[Occultist]

I feel better in not given homeless person money.
I think doing something good for someone else then bragging about it is bad.
But my pet peeve is gossip of any kind My family is from scotland and wow can those Mum's talk when they get together just tearing people to shreds saying things that potentialy might lead someone to a divorce or harm.
I think bragging/cracking/gossiping about the good you done is not bad persay but annoying.

[Xan]

Sound: I like what Gill Edwards said....if it feels heavy, don't do it!

I like that.

Here's this from another wise one: "If it talks it's the mind. Your true self is quiet."


Xan

[Humm]

...I think bragging/cracking/gossiping about the good you done is not bad persay but annoying.

I agree and I see it here all the time - especially when someone is specifically trying to sell their view.

'Spirituality', on the other hand, is simply about oneself, though good works for others come out of correct spirituality of it's own accord.

I might give money here and there - I might be going to a funeral tomorrow - but I don't think it necessary to talk myself up here at SF.

[Xan]

Kamal: ...if seems as if if I were to follow the path away from the ego and towards the self I would have to give up my personality. The way I dress, the way i style my hair, music i listen too, anything that is not necessary towards the path or fuels my "Ego."


Actually, giving up all those surface things can also be 'ego', as can be the shaved head and begging bowl.

Ego is simply clinging to an identity... learned ideas about who you are.

So gradually give up your conditioning, the clinging and resisting and self-defending... and dress and live freely any way you like.


Xan

[Shabby]

How do I tell the difference between love and ego?

If it makes me feel good...it's ego, if it does not disturb my peace...it's love.

[silent whisper]

The man who sees himself in light of his giving.....simply opens the heart of others to see themselves in light of their own......In that seeing is it not all giving?

[sound]

I like what Gill Edwards said....if it feels heavy, don't do it!

That was Starbuck Xan ... not me

I like it too :)

[Humm]

Being is giving.

Giving is Loving.

[Xan]

Being is love itself.


Xan

[Humm]

Being is love itself.


Xan

I said that. :D :wink:

[Mountain-Goat]

...I think bragging/cracking/gossiping about the good you done is not bad persay but annoying. I agree and I see it here all the time - especially when someone is specifically trying to sell their view.
'Spirituality', on the other hand, is simply about oneself, though good works for others come out of correct spirituality of it's own accord.
I might give money here and there - I might be going to a funeral tomorrow - but I don't think it necessary to talk myself up here at SF.

1997, before I had full custody of my kids, in the first couple of years of the marriage breakup, living in a run down caravan park.
I had my kids every weekend, life was a struggle, mentally, emotionally, thus financially.
We heard of a family who did not attend our church...haha, church was funny. No one there knew how to help me through the marriage breakup.
That was a huge sign that christianity, the type these people practiced, was not the same as the brochures claimed.

Anyways, the middle aged husband lost his job, so it was difficult for him to find new work because of his age, same for his wife.
Someone in our chuirch was already supplying them with loaves of bread that he collected from businesses and distributed to the needy.
I discussed it with him and was surprised that no other foods were collected by him or others.
Any discussion about organising the church to donate food as part of helping our community was met with blank stares and deaf ears.

I discussed the family with my kids and they both wanted to do something for them.
So each friday afternoon we bought $50 worth of food, both my kids involved in what foods to buy.
We then gave the food and bread from the other guy to this family, saying all the food was from the church and we were just the delivery people.

After a few weeks I thought that it was much better to just give them the money and they could buy the food they actually wanted.
It was also logistically difficult to be buying two lots of food at the same time.
We did this for about 2 months and the family were extrememly touched by the love of these complete strangers they knew nothing about at our church.

One night after delivery, my dawta enquired as to what was the purpose of never allowing the family or anyone at church to know we were the ones giving the food\money.
No one at church knew what we were doing, thay only knew we were delivering the bread.
I told my kids that when you help in secret, you're motive is solely to help the other, you are not doing it for recognition.
You gain nothing from it for yourself apart from the joy of helping another, of developing your love muscles.

My kids also learnt the difference between needs and wants.
We were already struggling with money, but what appears as miraculous that us poor people could give $50 a week to another was simply because we stopped buying luxuries that were not needed.
How easy is it for $50 to be used over a week in buying a sodie pop, choc bar, maccas, etc.
We still ate out, just not no where near as we used to.
We all learnt valuable lessons during our poverty season.

We also learnt that love is more than wonderful feelings. That love sometimes requires sacrifice. To give up something for someone more in need.
That taking care of self is important, but so too is taking care of others.
We also learnt that Spirituality (in our case back then, christianity, belief in a loving god and all that) is about doing, not just listeneing, knowing and believing.
That it's not about telling people about love, it's showing them love through practical real examples.
We also never spoke of our beliefs, or invited them to church or anything that would show we were helping them as a means to get them to become christians.
We learnt that love is best for giver and reciever when it has no strings attached.

[Kamal]

Between forgiveness or suppression of emotion
Between true selflessness or ego
Between charity or the desire to increase ones self worth (ego)
Between accepting and letting go or ignoring (or covering up with lies)



The more I come to realize what the ego is the more dumbfounded I've become. To the point in which I don't even speak because I can't tell if I'm just inflating my ego or something else.

For example today I was talking to my sister and I was about to say, "I wrote about this topic and this teacher really likes this kinda stuff."

At first glance it seems fine, but when closely analyzed what purpose does it serve? It's like telling someone your angry at someone. It won't help the other person nor you. The ideal way is just accepting what or whoever angered you and let it go (harder then it sounds =/)
I stopped myself before saying it because truly there was no purpose in saying other than to tell my sister that I was doing this topic and this teacher will be impressed with me, ect.

It's a little frustrating because it seems like almost everything is my ego talking. Unless its a spiritual subject, which in that case it could still be the ego but its easier to talk from a more pure informative or advice giving sense.

Am I making any sense haha? I'm sure some of you know what I am talking about...how did you find the deviation between your true self and the ego..?


Ex. How do you know if you're giving money to a homeless man because you truly feel sympathy for him and desire to bring him happiness at your own expense or if your giving money because you'll feel better about yourself (you'll feel deep, compassionate, ect)


another one to think about...how do you tell between detaching yourself from the world/material/something and possessing apathy towards whatever it is.

[Xan]

In real detachment you feel free and alive, with apathy you feel dull.

Discernment is all in the feelings which are often quite subtle, so you have to pay closer attention.


Xan

[silent whisper]

In real detachment you feel free and alive, with apathy you feel dull.

Discernment is all in the feelings which are often quite subtle, so you have to pay closer attention.


Xan


Hmmm that connects me to Dr Suess once more...thanks Xan.