Why self-forgiveness works?

[3dnow]

Any explanation?

I have a behavior,
I feel it, I watch myself doing it,
I say it is normal, it happens (from heart)

I have it less and less.

I may have it again no problem.

Thanks Xan for this. It took me longtime to understand.

Why does it work?

3d

[Seawolf]

Any explanation?

I have a behavior,
I feel it, I watch myself doing it,
I say it is normal, it happens (from heart)

I have it less and less.

I may have it again no problem.

Thanks Xan for this. It took me longtime to understand.

Why does it work?

3d
I think it's because you're loving yourself by accepting all of you. The subconscious is like a child, love your child and it will love itself.

[Shabby]

Because as long as you fight it or resist it, you are demonstrating that it is true. Acceptance eliminates the power that you gave something and judged as negative. I am not a fan of acceptance myself...I prefer to look at something without judgment and recognize that it is not the truth nor who I am but just a belief.

[Humm]

Yes - acceptance leads to openness which leads to awareness which helps to dissolve negative energy patterns.

You may not know where blockages, guilt, and anger are, but the subconscious knows, and it makes itself heard, one way or another.

[3dnow]

Because as long as you fight it or resist it, you are demonstrating that it is true. Acceptance eliminates the power that you gave something and judged as negative. I am not a fan of acceptance myself...I prefer to look at something without judgment and recognize that it is not the truth nor who I am but just a belief.

Yes I know it is not my true nature but I accept it happens... Because true nature (unconditional love) accepts all.

I think this is acceptance.

[Humm]

I think there are different shades of acceptance.

There is the the acceptance that is like surrender to actuality, then there is the acceptance that is like apathetical surrender.

When in doubt I always take the route I discern as being in awareness, myself.

[Shabby]

I think there are different shades of acceptance.

There is the the acceptance that is like surrender to actuality, then there is the acceptance that is like apathetical surrender.

When in doubt I always take the route I discern as being in awareness, myself.

Yes... good point and I see the difference. Is it o.k. if I don't accept? LOL

To the subject line of this thread I would like to say (also) that self forgiveness is powerful when one recognizes that we are actually mad at our self when someone else harms us. The reason why we are mad might be different for each one of us.

I saw a great movie the other day on Forgiveness and it talked about forgiven one self. The movie was called The power of forgiveness.

[TzuJanLi]

Greetings..

Forgiveness, as i understand it, is simply 'letting go'.. not, looking back, not going on about this and that process, but.. just let go.. even the process of talking about 'forgiveness' is still an attachment to whatever it 'was'.. i can 'let go' of my attachment to the criminal's actions, while at the same time taking measures to protect society from a recurring pattern of such actions.. not attached to the past, but preparing for a more harmonious future..

Be well..

[raindropsofhope]

Forgiveness is highly important for self healing n self loving.I struggled with it alot in the past but the more I practiced the art,the more at ease n at peace I am with myself n others.Also we r consistently making mistakes because we are always growing.So why should we beat on ourselves or others for not being perfect if its in our human nature since mans fall.
Love n light,
Namaste,
God bless <3=]

[Xan]

Any explanation?

I have a behavior,
I feel it, I watch myself doing it,
I say it is normal, it happens (from heart)

I have it less and less.

I may have it again no problem.

Thanks Xan for this. It took me longtime to understand.

Why does it work?

3d

ahhh... persistence does lead to understanding, and to freedom.

Self-forgiveness works because it ends the battle, the conflict within yourself that you've been carrying from the past... one part of your mind against another part. Then you can begin to feel harmony in your life.

Self-forgiveness works because it opens your mind and heart.


Xan

[Xan]

I think it's because you're loving yourself by accepting all of you. The subconscious is like a child, love your child and it will love itself.

Yes... that's it!


Xan

[3dnow]

I think it's because you're loving yourself by accepting all of you. The subconscious is like a child, love your child and it will love itself.

Yes... that's it!


This is the part I am confused.
Is calling my self a child is self-judgement?

I say the following (for every behavior):

This is not the reality... But it is OK to be a child. It is normal. It happens. The child me is beautiful.

3d

[Humm]

Referring to a part of one's inner self is to communicate to our subconscious through archetype. Archetypes are metaphorical embodiments of ideals. Metaphor is the raw language of the subconscious.

The archetype of the child has a positive and a negative aspect. The spiritual (positive aspect) child archetype embodies openness, curiousity, innocense, acceptance - in short, all the qualities that embrace growth and change.

By seeking our inner embodiment of the spiritual child we open ourselves to that ideal, and those possibilities.

[silent whisper]

Referring to a part of one's inner self is to communicate to our subconscious through archetype. Archetypes are metaphorical embodiments of ideals. Metaphor is the raw language of the subconscious.

The archetype of the child has a positive and a negative aspect. The spiritual (positive aspect) child archetype embodies openness, curiousity, innocense, acceptance - in short, all the qualities that embrace growth and change.

By seeking our inner embodiment of the spiritual child we open ourselves to that ideal, and those possibilities.


Indeed!

[Xan]

Referring to a part of one's inner self is to communicate to our subconscious through archetype.
In the abstract this is so and it can be a useful idea to work with.

But the child in us I refer to is the part of our personal subconscious mind that still carries hurt, loss, learned guilt and shame and so on from the past

This part of us can be healed, forgiven for whatever it still blames itself for, loved and appreciated just as he or she is... now... by the adult 'me' who lives in the present.

I've done this healing work with many people and it always helps to free them from low self-valuing and other negative emotional patterns. Then the natural open wise heart of the child has room to grow.


Xan

[Humm]

In the abstract this is so and it can be a useful idea to work with.

But the child in us I refer to is the part of our personal subconscious mind that still carries hurt, loss, learned guilt and shame and so on from the past

This part of us can be healed, forgiven for whatever it still blames itself for, loved and appreciated just as he or she is... now... by the adult 'me' who lives in the present.

I've done this healing work with many people and it always helps to free them from low self-valuing and other negative emotional patterns. Then the natural open wise heart of the child has room to grow.


Xan
I was speaking in abstract terminology, but I also know that our consciousness is our reality.

Thanks for giving such good insight for me to think about. :smile:

[Seawolf]

This is the part I am confused.
Is calling my self a child is self-judgement?

I say the following (for every behavior):

This is not the reality... But it is OK to be a child. It is normal. It happens. The child me is beautiful.
3d
Maybe it's a child, maybe not. That's just what I call but I don't know what it is. I just treat it with gentleness and love. I tell it thank you for showing me this, I'm sorry you're experiencing this memory, I love you.

I believe this kind of love heals the memories of the child, which are a part of me. The child is part of me, so I love the parts.

[Seawolf]

But the child in us I refer to is the part of our personal subconscious mind that still carries hurt, loss, learned guilt and shame and so on from the past

This part of us can be healed, forgiven for whatever it still blames itself for, loved and appreciated just as he or she is... now... by the adult 'me' who lives in the present.

I've done this healing work with many people and it always helps to free them from low self-valuing and other negative emotional patterns. Then the natural open wise heart of the child has room to grow.

Thank you for sharing, it's very helpful to me! :smile: Could you talk a little about the process of healing the child in your work? Do you walk them through a meditation? Are their things they can do on their own to continue the healing?

[Xan]

It's not a meditation but an inner communication, Seawolf.

I'll give an example from a process I did today with someone.

The woman I was working with kept getting angry at her boyfriend for no apparent reason. Since I'd done parts work with her before I asked her to see and feel where in her body the angry part of her was, and she identified herself at age 16 stuck in her neck. (The subconscious mind is very specific.)

We began asking this part of her (which she saw in her mind) what she was feeling (that she could never find a man to love her as consistently as her sweet father did), what she wanted (for a man to be in love with her all the time), and where these thoughts and feelings began (from some things her mother had said).

Once we had heard her story we talked to her a little about knowing love within herself (which her adult self does experience) and the changing nature of life and relationships and so on.

Then we invited the 16 year old into the inner heart of the woman she is now... to feel loved and appreciated.

She was very happy there (my client said everything suddenly got very bright) and glad for someone to listen and give her the understandings like no one did when she was a teenager.

There were more issues we talked with her about, and probably more to come. So my client's homework is to take daily walks together so the girl could have a wise old aunt (the girl said) to talk to about all these things with.

That's a brief summary of about 45 minutes working together, just to give you a general picture.

Anyone can do this with themselves... get in touch with a part of themselves from an earlier age... listen (so important!)... correct misunderstandings... give acceptance, appreciation and love... and find creative ways to build a new relationship with that part of oneself.


Xan

[psychoslice]

Self forgiveness is great, until you realize there's no one to forgive, well, that's a whole lot better, that's what i found in my life anyway's.

[Xan]

Well sure... and self-forgiveness is generally a prerequisite for the "nothing or no one to forgive" experience.


Xan

[Seawolf]

Anyone can do this with themselves... get in touch with a part of themselves from an earlier age... listen (so important!)... correct misunderstandings... give acceptance, appreciation and love... and find creative ways to build a new relationship with that part of oneself.

Xan
Wow thanks! Do you have a link to a website or anything where I could read about doing that?

[Xan]

Seawolf... This particular style of inner healing is my own, developed over time from a variety of methods. There are books and workbooks on ways to accomplish the same healing and integration that you could explore in a search at Amazon.com on "healing the inner child".


Xan

[3dnow]

Anyone can do this with themselves... get in touch with a part of themselves from an earlier age... listen (so important!)... correct misunderstandings... give acceptance, appreciation and love... and find creative ways to build a new relationship with that part of oneself.

[/COLOR]
Xan

Hi Xan, how do we listen? Meditation?

Thanks,

3d

[lemex]

Any explanation?

I have a behavior,
I feel it, I watch myself doing it,
I say it is normal, it happens (from heart)

I have it less and less.

I may have it again no problem.

Thanks Xan for this. It took me longtime to understand.

Why does it work?

3d

I encourage all aspects of forgiveness, especially self. Each has the authority and power to forgive if they so choose. Actually, you often find there is nothing to forgive. :smile:

Be well

[Xan]

Hi Xan, how do we listen? Meditation?
Meditation listening is in the Silence or the inner sound current.

Instead, this type of healing work is with the subconscious parts of the mind who still carry pain and fear from the past.

We can get in touch with these 'child parts' from any age (and parent parts to) by the image they have in your mind, ask relevant questions about their feelings, and listen to their answers. I described this more in the post #19 above.

It takes just a little getting used to but makes our useless internal dialogue into something useful... a internal healing conversation that leads to resolution... at last.


Xan