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Love406
04-01-2012, 03:32 AM
I need advice from anyone that is very knowledgable about twin flame relationships.

I've met my twin flame without a shadow of a doubt about two an a half years ago, but unfortunately because current circumstances we are unable to be in a relationship. However, when we see one another which is every week because we have a child together, we cannot keep our hands off of one another, we usually end up being intimate; afterwards, once he leaves I feel a void. Not so much sad just a achey I miss him so much feeling, a longing if you will. It usually lingers for a few days then I am able to focus again until the next time I see him.

We both have tried to end the relationship even before we had a child together, but we always end up back together. I keep telling myself to stop having sex with him but our energy is so magnetic, overwhelming; not just in the bedroom. It definitely is love there. Him nor I can deny this intense love we have.

I enjoy the sex, it is out of this world. I have never experienced such love physically, emotionally, spiritually, or mentally. Literally our love-making transcends far beyond just physical planes. But it is afterwards (at least for me), once he leaves, I miss him so much. I cannot seem to focus on anything else until a few days have passed.

My question: should twin flames continue to be intimate even when at the moment we are not able to be together? We both are single, but he has other issues not allowing him to fully commit. This energy is so intense, how do we control it because for our sons sake we have to see one another, but then we have sex, and following our sexual consummation, I have the longing feeling. I am so tired of this cycle. I wish I could just get over this intense attraction. How do we get passed the magnetic energy that keeps pulling us both to be intimate with eachother? I know that seems like an easy answer but it is almost as if something takes over my mind and body causing me to lack self-control around him. Sorry for repeating myself over and over, but our relationship since day one has been an emotional roller-coaster.

Thanks for any suggestions.

BeautifulLife
04-01-2012, 01:05 PM
I need advice from anyone that is very knowledgable about twin flame relationships.

I've met my twin flame without a shadow of a doubt about two an a half years ago, but unfortunately because current circumstances we are unable to be in a relationship. However, when we see one another which is every week because we have a child together, we cannot keep our hands off of one another, we usually end up being intimate; afterwards, once he leaves I feel a void. Not so much sad just a achey I miss him so much feeling, a longing if you will. It usually lingers for a few days then I am able to focus again until the next time I see him.

We both have tried to end the relationship even before we had a child together, but we always end up back together. I keep telling myself to stop having sex with him but our energy is so magnetic, overwhelming; not just in the bedroom. It definitely is love there. Him nor I can deny this intense love we have.

I enjoy the sex, it is out of this world. I have never experienced such love physically, emotionally, spiritually, or mentally. Literally our love-making transcends far beyond just physical planes. But it is afterwards (at least for me), once he leaves, I miss him so much. I cannot seem to focus on anything else until a few days have passed.

My question: should twin flames continue to be intimate even when at the moment we are not able to be together? We both are single, but he has other issues not allowing him to fully commit. This energy is so intense, how do we control it because for our sons sake we have to see one another, but then we have sex, and following our sexual consummation, I have the longing feeling. I am so tired of this cycle. I wish I could just get over this intense attraction. How do we get passed the magnetic energy that keeps pulling us both to be intimate with eachother? I know that seems like an easy answer but it is almost as if something takes over my mind and body causing me to lack self-control around him. Sorry for repeating myself over and over, but our relationship since day one has been an emotional roller-coaster.

Thanks for any suggestions.

kinda confused. You're both single, have a child together and feel this amazing connection. What is standing in the way of you being together? Even if you weren't TF's it would still be worth a shot at making things work for the sake of the child and what do you really have to lose.

gypsymystique
04-01-2012, 02:50 PM
Well, I understand if you can't be in a relationship together now. I have a friend who is going through a similar thing with her tf. They've known each other forever, and he just got out of prison, and he's in a halfway house for awhile.

They have that incredible attraction and energy. They have to deal because they can't really be together for a couple of months.

I don't really have advice here because the 2 of them are still trying to maintain the balance themselves.

My thought would be that you find a way to take the bliss and expand it into your everyday lives and carry each other with you rather than letting it stay confined to just the sexual activity. I'm not sure the answer is to abstain. (I hope that makes some kind of sense).

miss_believed
04-01-2012, 09:25 PM
Well, I understand if you can't be in a relationship together now. I have a friend who is going through a similar thing with her tf. They've known each other forever, and he just got out of prison, and he's in a halfway house for awhile.

They have that incredible attraction and energy. They have to deal because they can't really be together for a couple of months.

I don't really have advice here because the 2 of them are still trying to maintain the balance themselves.

My thought would be that you find a way to take the bliss and expand it into your everyday lives and carry each other with you rather than letting it stay confined to just the sexual activity. I'm not sure the answer is to abstain. (I hope that makes some kind of sense).

it does make me laugh when i see so many people who are married and meet their twin flame and say oh if only we were single there would be no problems, lol there can ALWAYS be problems when its tf every situation is unique and just as complex, i guess it's about looking within yourselves and healing yourselves and letting it get back together naturally, the child will mean you do have that bond to make reuniting easier when you are both ready x

veronicax
04-01-2012, 09:29 PM
I need advice from anyone that is very knowledgable about twin flame relationships.

I've met my twin flame without a shadow of a doubt about two an a half years ago, but unfortunately because current circumstances we are unable to be in a relationship. However, when we see one another which is every week because we have a child together, we cannot keep our hands off of one another, we usually end up being intimate; afterwards, once he leaves I feel a void. Not so much sad just a achey I miss him so much feeling, a longing if you will. It usually lingers for a few days then I am able to focus again until the next time I see him.

We both have tried to end the relationship even before we had a child together, but we always end up back together. I keep telling myself to stop having sex with him but our energy is so magnetic, overwhelming; not just in the bedroom. It definitely is love there. Him nor I can deny this intense love we have.

I enjoy the sex, it is out of this world. I have never experienced such love physically, emotionally, spiritually, or mentally. Literally our love-making transcends far beyond just physical planes. But it is afterwards (at least for me), once he leaves, I miss him so much. I cannot seem to focus on anything else until a few days have passed.

My question: should twin flames continue to be intimate even when at the moment we are not able to be together? We both are single, but he has other issues not allowing him to fully commit. This energy is so intense, how do we control it because for our sons sake we have to see one another, but then we have sex, and following our sexual consummation, I have the longing feeling. I am so tired of this cycle. I wish I could just get over this intense attraction. How do we get passed the magnetic energy that keeps pulling us both to be intimate with eachother? I know that seems like an easy answer but it is almost as if something takes over my mind and body causing me to lack self-control around him. Sorry for repeating myself over and over, but our relationship since day one has been an emotional roller-coaster.

Thanks for any suggestions.



I also don't understand! If he is single what other issues could he possibly have that could keep him from being with you and your child !!

gypsymystique
04-01-2012, 09:32 PM
Oh, there are tons of things that could keep two people apart aside from other relationships.

Love406
04-01-2012, 09:58 PM
Oh, there are tons of things that could keep two people apart aside from other relationships.

Yeah, I've tried dating other people but it never feels right. I am constantly thinking of him. I stay very busy but eventually I come back to thinking of him.

Love406
04-01-2012, 10:08 PM
I also don't understand! If he is single what other issues could he possibly have that could keep him from being with you and your child !!
Yeah, it is more him than me. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but he says he is not ready to get married again. Before we meet he had recently divorced and according to him it was the worse experience ever and that he does not want to get married again. He constantly tells me that he really wants to break our connection but it is too strong and he can't stop thinking about me, but he still does not want the responsibility of marriage right now. I really have tried to end it but to no avail...And I just recently had a child by him seven months ago so now it is even harder to break the connection at least for me. It is hard because I enjoy him and intimacy with him but I know I need to build the strength and end it completely.

Love406
04-01-2012, 10:13 PM
it does make me laugh when i see so many people who are married and meet their twin flame and say oh if only we were single there would be no problems, lol there can ALWAYS be problems when its tf every situation is unique and just as complex, i guess it's about looking within yourselves and healing yourselves and letting it get back together naturally, the child will mean you do have that bond to make reuniting easier when you are both ready x

Yeah. It has been very complex and emotional. Since we've met we both have been trying to end it. Either it was me or him and to no avail, two to three months would pass and we would end up right back together. Now we have a child together, I guess it will be impossible to break our bond now. It is so sicking. :confused: I just want him out of my life but I can't build the strength to stop being intimate with him. I know he has to see our child though.

gypsymystique
04-01-2012, 11:33 PM
Have you considered just having the relationship the 2 of you have and not worrying about the marriage or the labels? Seems like you'd both feel less pressure.

Mr Interesting
07-01-2012, 08:22 PM
Why is everybody skirting the issue?

Seems like both of you have some pretty big denial issues going on and your excuses for keeping it all alive and well is a shared life...

It's quite simple really. You've got something every so often that exacts a toll... your choice is to either pay the price or decide not to.

Why is it that you both end up together and in bed.... because it's the drug that takes you away from stuff you need to deal with.

You both gotta stop using the child as a pawn in this game of denial your both playing.

What I've said isn't necessarily true but it needs to be in the mix.

silke
08-01-2012, 01:14 AM
Yeah, it is more him than me. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but he says he is not ready to get married again. Before we meet he had recently divorced and according to him it was the worse experience ever and that he does not want to get married again. He constantly tells me that he really wants to break our connection but it is too strong and he can't stop thinking about me, but he still does not want the responsibility of marriage right now. I really have tried to end it but to no avail...And I just recently had a child by him seven months ago so now it is even harder to break the connection at least for me. It is hard because I enjoy him and intimacy with him but I know I need to build the strength and end it completely.Sorry, but that seems incredibly selfish, weak and immature on his behalf. He has a CHILD to think of for Gods sake! Take a stand, tell him to be a man and make a decision one way or the other and stop f***ing with you! This sounds like torture for both of you and your child will not thank you in the end. If he seriously does not want to committ to you then he has no business being intimate with you and it sounds like you're going to have to be the one to make the rules here. Otherwise your life and your heart is going to hang in limbo until you make the decision to change it, and believe me you can.

SerpentQueen
08-01-2012, 06:20 AM
If he seriously does not want to committ to you then he has no business being intimate with you

Um, it takes two to tangle. Maybe she likes being physically intimate with him?

Sorry, I just hate this whole pre-conditioned cultural meme that women only have sex because they are bonded and/or are seeking a commitment bond via sex. Maybe she just likes having sex with the guy? There's nothing wrong with that.

I'm not her so I can't say... just throwing it out there for the mulling. I would never have sex with someone just to get them to commit to me. That is expectation AND manipulation. It seems you are accusing him of doing the manipulation... but what you are suggesting would be, in my humble opinion, manipulation on her part. Sex in exchange for commitment.

Sex isn't "business."

Ugh.

They have a child together, he floats her boat....women are allowed to simply want their boats to be floated....

Then again, maybe I missed the memo.

EricDraven
08-01-2012, 06:40 AM
he floats her boat....women are allowed to simply want their boats to be floated....

hahaha, ****! Great line, Love it SQ. And I agree.

Love406, my heart goes out to you. There's alot of great advice in here, and judgements being made, only you can discern what's best and true for you. As I understand it, our intuition flows most easily when we are calm and clear, then you will know what is best for you.

Not that any advice you're being given may not be true, I know from experience that much I've learned from these people have greatly improved my own understandings, and thus reach that state of clarity for finding my truth.

When the time is right for any action on your part, you will know.

Love and Best Wishes to You
Eric

Love406
09-01-2012, 03:01 AM
Why is everybody skirting the issue?

Seems like both of you have some pretty big denial issues going on and your excuses for keeping it all alive and well is a shared life...

It's quite simple really. You've got something every so often that exacts a toll... your choice is to either pay the price or decide not to.

Why is it that you both end up together and in bed.... because it's the drug that takes you away from stuff you need to deal with.

You both gotta stop using the child as a pawn in this game of denial your both playing.

What I've said isn't necessarily true but it needs to be in the mix.

You certainly have a point. It is definitely a drug that takes us both away from stuff we should deal with. Just not sure what I need to deal with.

Love406
09-01-2012, 03:08 AM
Sorry, but that seems incredibly selfish, weak and immature on his behalf. He has a CHILD to think of for Gods sake! Take a stand, tell him to be a man and make a decision one way or the other and stop f***ing with you! This sounds like torture for both of you and your child will not thank you in the end. If he seriously does not want to committ to you then he has no business being intimate with you and it sounds like you're going to have to be the one to make the rules here. Otherwise your life and your heart is going to hang in limbo until you make the decision to change it, and believe me you can.


I agree with you silke, but to be fair to him it is not always him doing the initiation. In fact, last week he told me we should stop having sex and I am the one that insisted. And when I am the one that takes a stand he is the one being persistent and initiating intimacy. I need to get serious and have some strength and put my foot down for once and for all. It is just SO hard. The attraction and energy is ridiculous.

Love406
09-01-2012, 03:13 AM
Um, it takes two to tangle. Maybe she likes being physically intimate with him?

Sorry, I just hate this whole pre-conditioned cultural meme that women only have sex because they are bonded and/or are seeking a commitment bond via sex. Maybe she just likes having sex with the guy? There's nothing wrong with that.

I'm not her so I can't say... just throwing it out there for the mulling. I would never have sex with someone just to get them to commit to me. That is expectation AND manipulation. It seems you are accusing him of doing the manipulation... but what you are suggesting would be, in my humble opinion, manipulation on her part. Sex in exchange for commitment.

Sex isn't "business."

Ugh.

They have a child together, he floats her boat....women are allowed to simply want their boats to be floated....

Then again, maybe I missed the memo.


SerpentQueen, I do like it more than I should that is the problem. I am in NO way trying to manipulate him. In my mind there is no exchange of I give you sex you give me commitment. Though, I want him to commitment not because he is being coerced. I have sex with him mainly because my attraction for him is out of this world and he has said the same about me. I just lack self-control in his presence. I do want to stop having sex him though because the void and longing when he is not here hurts the most.

Love406
09-01-2012, 03:16 AM
hahaha, ****! Great line, Love it SQ. And I agree.

Love406, my heart goes out to you. There's alot of great advice in here, and judgements being made, only you can discern what's best and true for you. As I understand it, our intuition flows most easily when we are calm and clear, then you will know what is best for you.

Not that any advice you're being given may not be true, I know from experience that much I've learned from these people have greatly improved my own understandings, and thus reach that state of clarity for finding my truth.

When the time is right for any action on your part, you will know.

Love and Best Wishes to You
Eric

Thanks Eric. At the moment I am in conflict. My heart wants to continue to have sex when I see him because the attraction is out of this world, but my mind and everyone else says to leave him alone until he is ready to commit or move on completely.

Mr Interesting
09-01-2012, 09:48 AM
What you might have to deal with is why is it so good... the sex.

Why is any drug so good? Because it takes us away from the banality of our existence.

And why is existence banal? Because we live in fear of stuffing it up so badly that even banal was good!!!

The only reason I'm saying this is because afterwards you say you feel so bereft and that's because nothing outside of the sex, or within normal life is able to make you feel fulfilled after giving so much of yourself within that intimacy.

But how can I know... Only you can know because it's your life and you're the one living it. I can only throw my own conjectures at it by seeing a roller coaster effect between giving and receiving and being a part of wildness and possibilities unending... then the return to earth and the subsequent bereftedness. That roller coaster is alike most additive drugs with the High and the coming down.

If the come down wasn't there I'd say go for it but the fact that it is means there is a cost involved and if it ain't paid the debt just keeps getting higher and higher.

With anything powerful one has to be judicious in fitting it into ones life otherwise it can take over. What you might want to think over is that the power and grace and abandonment you are willing to give to the sex you can actually give to rest of your life...

Energy is energy and form is our choice...

BeautifulLife
09-01-2012, 01:36 PM
it does make me laugh when i see so many people who are married and meet their twin flame and say oh if only we were single there would be no problems, lol there can ALWAYS be problems when its tf every situation is unique and just as complex, i guess it's about looking within yourselves and healing yourselves and letting it get back together naturally, the child will mean you do have that bond to make reuniting easier when you are both ready x

Its a good thing I was in another relationship when I met my TF and never was single. I can only imagine the crazy stuff I'd end up doing if I wasn't "held back" by the boundaries of my relationship. By being in a relationship I at least have some sort of "understanding" as to why we can't be together. If we were both single and my TF still refused to be with me I think I'd completely lose my mind.

sisi14
09-01-2012, 02:26 PM
Ditto on that BL .... (:

Love406
09-01-2012, 06:10 PM
Its a good thing I was in another relationship when I met my TF and never was single. I can only imagine the crazy stuff I'd end up doing if I wasn't "held back" by the boundaries of my relationship. By being in a relationship I at least have some sort of "understanding" as to why we can't be together. If we were both single and my TF still refused to be with me I think I'd completely lose my mind.

Yes, BeautifulLife, it is pure torture. That magnetic connection is so strong it is as if I cannot control my self. Ohh the agony of it all.

BeautifulLife
09-01-2012, 06:41 PM
Yes, BeautifulLife, it is pure torture. That magnetic connection is so strong it is as if I cannot control my self. Ohh the agony of it all.

The connection has been there for so long (5+ yrs) with me that I've just grown to accept it as if its always been there. I literally forgot what it was like before I met her. What it was like to feel love before I even realized what true love was.

As painful as it is at times I really do feel like I'd miss this feeling if it ever did go away. It's like watching a romantic movie like the notebook and than feeling dissapointed in your own relationship for not being that powerful and true. By experiencing and feeling this connection it constantly reminds me of how special I am to have felt true love.

Love406
09-01-2012, 06:47 PM
What you might have to deal with is why is it so good... the sex.

Why is any drug so good? Because it takes us away from the banality of our existence.

And why is existence banal? Because we live in fear of stuffing it up so badly that even banal was good!!!

The only reason I'm saying this is because afterwards you say you feel so bereft and that's because nothing outside of the sex, or within normal life is able to make you feel fulfilled after giving so much of yourself within that intimacy.

But how can I know... Only you can know because it's your life and you're the one living it. I can only throw my own conjectures at it by seeing a roller coaster effect between giving and receiving and being a part of wildness and possibilities unending... then the return to earth and the subsequent bereftedness. That roller coaster is alike most additive drugs with the High and the coming down.

If the come down wasn't there I'd say go for it but the fact that it is means there is a cost involved and if it ain't paid the debt just keeps getting higher and higher.

With anything powerful one has to be judicious in fitting it into ones life otherwise it can take over. What you might want to think over is that the power and grace and abandonment you are willing to give to the sex you can actually give to rest of your life...

Energy is energy and form is our choice...

Wow, Mr Interesting, you seem to be very knowledgeable in this area. You made some valid points here. Very thought provoking and I have to ponder the reasons why I am filling so bereft afterwards. If I am authentic with myself, I suppose I do want a monogamous relationship with him. But I thought this type of roller coaster effect was a commonality amongst twin flames relationships? The "runner" effect?

Love406
09-01-2012, 06:53 PM
The connection has been there for so long (5+ yrs) with me that I've just grown to accept it as if its always been there. I literally forgot what it was like before I met her. What it was like to feel love before I even realized what true love was.

As painful as it is at times I really do feel like I'd miss this feeling if it ever did go away. It's like watching a romantic movie like the notebook and than feeling dissapointed in your own relationship for not being that powerful and true. By experiencing and feeling this connection it constantly reminds me of how special I am to have felt true love.

BL, I could'nt have said it better. It definitely is a Romeo and Juliet love story or Notebook! We are so blessed to have experience this type of love. :-)

Mr Interesting
10-01-2012, 08:06 AM
Love406, I have my own complicated unfolding of what I believe was the nature of twin flame energy... to the point it was becoming a hindrance and I was starting to think that the whole point of the twin flame thing was to get to letting it go.

Why I say that is that in the past I've often found what I thought I wanted wasn't really what I actually needed so I've become aware that in searching for one thing I often end up with another...

So while the twin flame has captivated me with it's power to make my life worthwhile and be completely fulfilled and ready to do the work of the universe I've also realised that I can only really see this "dream" from a position of lack and so I've been watching myself go through the paces and wondering whether something altogether different isn't unfolding before me.

So today I finally went lookin' for twin flame at source and found something that really did it for me and has left me lightened quite considerably.

And incidentally, a woman who's a soulmate is a relationship councillor so maybe I was just drawing on her wisdom...

miss_believed
10-01-2012, 04:14 PM
Um, it takes two to tangle. Maybe she likes being physically intimate with him?

Sorry, I just hate this whole pre-conditioned cultural meme that women only have sex because they are bonded and/or are seeking a commitment bond via sex. Maybe she just likes having sex with the guy? There's nothing wrong with that.

I'm not her so I can't say... just throwing it out there for the mulling. I would never have sex with someone just to get them to commit to me. That is expectation AND manipulation. It seems you are accusing him of doing the manipulation... but what you are suggesting would be, in my humble opinion, manipulation on her part. Sex in exchange for commitment.

Sex isn't "business."

Ugh.

They have a child together, he floats her boat....women are allowed to simply want their boats to be floated....

Then again, maybe I missed the memo.

yes but it's not floating her boat, it's hurting her a LOT, she needs to get the strength to walk away and shut the door on the sex as hard as that is at the moment he hashis cake and is eating it with no pressure to offer anything greater,
twin flames are special relationships but they pretty much follow the rules of other relationships just magnified, as hard as it is cant help feeling your lesson here is to be strong say no to him be happy on ur own let him 'think' at least your moving on and then when he realises its loose you or give his all to you you might just see a change in him till u do that this pattern WILL continue.

Mr Interesting
10-01-2012, 09:10 PM
I agree that the sex isn't wrong but as I have suggested the sex and it's unfolding may hold the key to the feeling of incompleteness that follows it.

Leaving him behind and walking away is one way of being able to look at the picture with distance but that also adds another deficit to the picture by removing the sex which actually holds the biggest clues as to what's really going on.

Keeping things as they are, but adding questioning and the perspective of distance, always tends to be best as long as the hurt involved doesn't get too much greater and good sex, even mind blowing sex ain't really hurting anyone.

The question I think is why can we give so much in one instance, when we have an object, the other person to give to, but can't still have that outflowing when the object is removed.

Sorry about objectifying your lover but given the circumstances it may very well be at the heart of the matter.