Feeling disconnected

[Emmalevine]

I've been experiencing some disconnect from people for a while. I can't pin it down to anything in particular, just a sense that I don't gel with others, I don't have anything to talk to them about. This can be with people I know really well as well as people I don't know so well. I feel as though I'm in a bubble. I think I'm still in touch with my emotions so it can't be explained by depression or being out of touch with self. It's as if I've gone so far into myself I can't reach out to others. I've never been a social person but I've developed enough self confidence to manage social events okay. I still have confidence but I can't really fit in with others and feel bored and alone with them. I still get lonely and crave connection but even one to one discussions can leave me cold.

Any similar experiences or thoughts on what might be happening here? I am also struggling with spirituality, not in the sense of losing faith (I experience a lot of stuff so am aware of my inner truth) but in that I am disconnected from it. I am angry with it, almost. I wish my life was different, but not in a depressed way. Christmas has reinforced these feelings of disconnect. I don't feel supported by spirit in the same way but I believe that is my experience rather than the reality. Maybe I've abandoned myself. So perhaps I am disconnected from myself but not in a way I can properly explain.

Please can anyone else relate? :hug3:

[WhiteWarrior]

Well, to be perfectly honest you sound a little depressed to me. It's familiar enough for me, I'm bipolar. Especially the 'dealing with others' and disconnect parts.

[Emmalevine]

Well I suppose I might be but I've experienced depression in the past and I don't feel as hopeless and lethargic as I did then. I can't really put this into words...it's really strange. I'm trying to deal with a lot of stuff instead of running away from it inside my head. I think in the past I've escaped into my spirituality as a way of avoiding my very human experiences. Maybe this is about finding my way into and through my humanity...and I'm feeling cut off from everything as a result.

Perhaps..

[WhiteWarrior]

There are degrees of depression. This vague unhappiness you are feeling indicates a minor depression. Obviously you have been at a worse stage at some previous time. The type you have right now MIGHT be treatable by minor things like more sunlight, long walks and more vitamins.
If you prefer a more spiritual answer then I am out of my depths, sadly.

[froebellian]

I feel when I need to sort things out I need space.. ie time alone with no distractions to re evaluate things and see things clearly.

As you said in my thread, its very similar. I have so many things to sort out I need to just stop for a while and take stock of things.
This is when mindless conversations with people appear to be a waste of my time as it drains away your mental energy.
I think you need to put yourself first and baby steps in that get down to basics and build a foundation of what is comfortable and makes you happy. Thats what I do.. I have my bath in the am and pm and its my time to just bathe and float and think. I am putting myself first and tying up loose ends so I can start anything fresh and with full attention.

[Shabby]

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this Starbuck. I agree with you that this is an experience you are going through and not reality. Just remind yourself that this too shall pass and it will : )

[in progress]

From my experience, it's not depression. You go through various stages as you are clearing including detachment, anger, questioning the spirituality stuff plus the highs too. Periods of greater peace and inner calm, joy and love for all beyond what you've felt before. It's all part of the process. You will have both the highs and the lows. One comes w/ the other.

You feel good as you release something and your vibration rises then something else pops out of the woodwork that can't remain hidden any more due to your frequency boost so now something new needs to be addressed and released. Round and round and round.....!!! Knowing this is going on helps quite a lot.

[Enya]

It's possible you are in a 'spiritual observer' state at the moment, disconnecting from human life because past experiences have taught you it brings pain. Now's a good time to learn about love and hope.

You're also disconnecting from old ways of understanding and reacting, which leads to the spiritual disconnect. When this happens, embrace the change and go within, to a place of compassion and love, then allow that to fill you and expand outward to others. There is a lesson here - explore it. xxx

[psychoslice]

Just as there are people who need to be around people, there are also those who don't, I don't like being around most people, I go out in the morning and may have a coffee with a friend, but I am always glad to get home to be by myself. We should try not to be guilty about being by ourselves, those who like being around lots of people don't usually feel guilty for doing so, so enjoy your gift of loving your own company, as those who enjoy their gift of loving other peoples company. The only problem that can happen out of this, is that some are addicted to wanting to be around others, as also some are addicted not wanting to be around others, enjoy being around others, but also enjoy your own company, with this balance you can't go wrong.

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

I relate. I regularly feel disconnected but I move through stuff fairly quickly most of the time, and I have to deal with people on the phone and on email on a daily, even hourly basis, so one way or another I end up reconnecting quickly. I'm not depressed at all and I like people at the distance provided by phone and internet ,so it's easy to jump back into places like discussion boards , even if things have gotten weird. I'm much more able to live 'in the moment' on boards, and I'm much better at letting things flow through, that might have tangled me up when I was new to the internet .

Much of it has to do with finding people we are comfortable and compatible with , I have found . I havo agree with Psycho:wink: about enjoying one's own company as well , because without that , how can we really be relaxed and comfortable and functional interacting with other people ?.
D (also a bit psycho)

[Silver]

.....

You're also disconnecting from old ways of understanding and reacting, which leads to the spiritual disconnect. When this happens, embrace the change and go within, to a place of compassion and love, then allow that to fill you and expand outward to others. There is a lesson here - explore it. xxx

I was thinking something along these lines...you've stepped beyond the people you find yourself conversing with. Your deep down thoughts and feelings have stepped beyond what you find many others talking about and relating to, just enough to notice. I don't see or hear any depression, as you said.

What Psychoslice said is good, too.
:smile:

[mattie]

I don’t think this is all that unusual. We go through allot of different feelings & states of BEing w/ our journey. This may be an adjustment period of where you’re connecting w/ other realms, feeling out of sync w/ the real life thing. It is likely that as you become accustomed to experiencing this new stage that you’ll get used to this, fully connecting w/ all of them- the new normal. It might be a natural part of the process for you at this particular stage to feel this disconnect.

Recognizing this disconnection feeling may be useful to try different things to enhance connecting w/ others. Developing finding pleasure in some little thing about the interaction or the person or using empathy to connect more w/ them might be useful. Even if you’re bored by the whole interaction, appreciating how you went through this too might be useful to connect.

This being disconnected w/ your emotions isn’t necessarily problematic even though it is prudent to examine if one is slipping into a mild depression as this is much easier to correct in the early stages. Do you feel joy about things? One can be very disengaged from others, yet still feel personal joy. If not, this might be a useful thing to look at. If you suspect mild depression (there are all levels of this) a supplement like 5-HTP (raises seratonin) might be useful. There are other effective neurotransmitter supplements.
This isn’t medical advice or a diagnosis.

If you’re connecting more w/ your higher dimensional energies, you may be largely resonating on a level where emotions really aren’t all that relevant. It’s OK to be in this state, but if you’re uncomfortable w/ it & need to connect more, you can adjust your energies. When we feel out of sync grounding can be useful. If we are spacey or disconnected, spending allot of time connecting w/ the higher Ds, often grounding just to the planet’s center (http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?p=273387#post273387) & actively connecting w/ the rest of humanity’s energies can help give us the needed balance.

[Emmalevine]

Thanks everyone! I'll be back to respond in more depth soon.

[Xan]

I was thinking something along these lines...you've stepped beyond the people you find yourself conversing with. Your deep down thoughts and feelings have stepped beyond what you find many others talking about and relating to, just enough to notice. I don't see or hear any depression, as you said.
This is how I see your experience too, Starbuck. As we go on in spiritual awakening we leave behind our old egoic ways of relating, and most other folks haven't yet caught up.

It's a different way of being in the world, without much need for social interaction. To some it may sound or feel lonely, but once we get into the beauties of deep solitude, and start meeting more awakening people, the whole feeling about it changes to relief and gratitude.

Accepting how it is for you each moment is how you bless yourself.


Xan

[IsleWalker]

Starbuck--

Just a P.S. here: I find it hard to get back into relating to people unless there is some activity (that I like) to base it around--walking or animals or helping kids or reading or science. It isn't weird to need a commonality with people in order to actually enjoy the interactions with them.

IsleWalker - Lora

[Emmalevine]

Thanks so much everyone who has responded here. You've all given me food for thought. I wish I could reply to everyone but I'm pushed for time after being away so long...

I don't honestly feel I'm depressed. I relate to those of you who say it's more a sort of 'spiritual observation' and also enjoyment of my own company. I did wonder if it's due to going deeply into my spiritual self and realising that how I relate to people has changed. I don't feel deeply distressed by this disconnect but it bothers me. Now I know it's a normal experience for someone who is growing it's not quite such an issue. I've been an introvert all my life so I'm not suddenly going to be at ease socially anyway, but suddenly it all seems very far away which it never did before. My old ways of relating no longer fit or feel appropriate.

Thanks for helping me make sense of this.

[tainamom]

I've been experiencing some disconnect from people for a while. I can't pin it down to anything in particular, just a sense that I don't gel with others, I don't have anything to talk to them about. This can be with people I know really well as well as people I don't know so well. I feel as though I'm in a bubble. I think I'm still in touch with my emotions so it can't be explained by depression or being out of touch with self. It's as if I've gone so far into myself I can't reach out to others. I've never been a social person but I've developed enough self confidence to manage social events okay. I still have confidence but I can't really fit in with others and feel bored and alone with them. I still get lonely and crave connection but even one to one discussions can leave me cold.

Any similar experiences or thoughts on what might be happening here? I am also struggling with spirituality, not in the sense of losing faith (I experience a lot of stuff so am aware of my inner truth) but in that I am disconnected from it. I am angry with it, almost. I wish my life was different, but not in a depressed way. Christmas has reinforced these feelings of disconnect. I don't feel supported by spirit in the same way but I believe that is my experience rather than the reality. Maybe I've abandoned myself. So perhaps I am disconnected from myself but not in a way I can properly explain.

Please can anyone else relate? :hug3:


I go through this phase a lot and the one thing I realized was that as a kid, I'd feel different from everyone. When I was younger, it didn't bother me at all, but for some reason, facebook made me face those feelings of separation. Also, living in my mono-culture neighborhood, in which I don't 'fit' in, has made me more aware of this feeling. It bothered me to feel as if I were really different or they were different. As time goes on, I start to realize that we're not really disconnected/separate from each other, but I keep fighting it, thinking that we are, when we really aren't. It's an old habit of the introvert. lol. I also find that many times the topics those people present do not interest me. Why? Because it doesn't and it's fine. Other times I feel there's just nothing left to say and all has been said and done. I was comforting a woman earlier today who was crying and sometimes I was inclined to say something, but when I did, it bothered her. So I then felt a need to shut up and listen. Sometimes there's just nothing to be said but to be an "instrument for Source" and to listen to the other person. Many times we want to be heard, but most people are not ready to hear us tell what we know. So, I let my heart listen and leave it at that.

[Deusdrum]

I've been experiencing some disconnect from people for a while. I can't pin it down to anything in particular, just a sense that I don't gel with others, I don't have anything to talk to them about. This can be with people I know really well as well as people I don't know so well. I feel as though I'm in a bubble. I think I'm still in touch with my emotions so it can't be explained by depression or being out of touch with self. It's as if I've gone so far into myself I can't reach out to others. I've never been a social person but I've developed enough self confidence to manage social events okay. I still have confidence but I can't really fit in with others and feel bored and alone with them. I still get lonely and crave connection but even one to one discussions can leave me cold.

Any similar experiences or thoughts on what might be happening here? I am also struggling with spirituality, not in the sense of losing faith (I experience a lot of stuff so am aware of my inner truth) but in that I am disconnected from it. I am angry with it, almost. I wish my life was different, but not in a depressed way. Christmas has reinforced these feelings of disconnect. I don't feel supported by spirit in the same way but I believe that is my experience rather than the reality. Maybe I've abandoned myself. So perhaps I am disconnected from myself but not in a way I can properly explain.

Please can anyone else relate? :hug3:
I can definitely relate. I blame myself mainly. I started a thread in the strong opinions forums titled 'Do You Care?' and part of maybe the secret reason for me asking such a question is that i have wondered about whether i myself care or not, as i've had issues with not really caring much lately. And that is a brutal thing to admit, and maybe i'm in some denial but this last half the year or longer maybe i have kind of shut down in some way. I wouldn't encourage it, but it has been part of my reality recently. I can relate to the anger as well. I have no answers really, other than the beat goes and the show must go on, but that much is apparent already.

Take heart, have faith, keep going. That's all i have at the moment for advice. Patience also is good.

[just a person]

I don't honestly feel I'm depressed. I relate to those of you who say it's more a sort of 'spiritual observation' and also enjoyment of my own company. I did wonder if it's due to going deeply into my spiritual self and realising that how I relate to people has changed. I don't feel deeply distressed by this disconnect but it bothers me. Now I know it's a normal experience for someone who is growing it's not quite such an issue. I've been an introvert all my life so I'm not suddenly going to be at ease socially anyway, but suddenly it all seems very far away which it never did before. My old ways of relating no longer fit or feel appropriate.

I really relate to this and in my case it is easy to rule out depression, (although it did cross my mind and it was a part of my life many years ago) because I am more joyful, laughing, open, motivated, happy and at peace with life as I have ever been. At the same time I find myself with almost nothing to say when in conversations with people I have known for years and years; not necessarily with good friends, but with people who I guess could be called "friends" in the loose sense, or "buddies."

When that feeling creeps up now I just don't say anything and am careful not to say anything that might relate my lack of interest or connection. I definitely feel a little guilty about not being interested, but I get more alright with it every day. I used to care about the topics being discussed, and now I can't even will myself to care! It is very strange for sure, but I think it is harmless and a necessary byproduct of the sort of spiritual inquiries I'm gaining an understanding of. Connecting consistently and enjoying time spent with good friends, lovers, and family members is the best proof to me that what is happening is just fine, even if unexpected and uncomfortable at times.

[Greenslade]

My old ways of relating no longer fit or feel appropriate.
Don't panic. Go with the flow. The more of the old stuff you can pour out the more of the new stuff you can pour in.

[Sarian]

I've been experiencing some disconnect from people for a while. I can't pin it down to anything in particular, just a sense that I don't gel with others, I don't have anything to talk to them about. This can be with people I know really well as well as people I don't know so well. I feel as though I'm in a bubble. I think I'm still in touch with my emotions so it can't be explained by depression or being out of touch with self. It's as if I've gone so far into myself I can't reach out to others. I've never been a social person but I've developed enough self confidence to manage social events okay. I still have confidence but I can't really fit in with others and feel bored and alone with them. I still get lonely and crave connection but even one to one discussions can leave me cold.

Any similar experiences or thoughts on what might be happening here? I am also struggling with spirituality, not in the sense of losing faith (I experience a lot of stuff so am aware of my inner truth) but in that I am disconnected from it. I am angry with it, almost. I wish my life was different, but not in a depressed way. Christmas has reinforced these feelings of disconnect. I don't feel supported by spirit in the same way but I believe that is my experience rather than the reality. Maybe I've abandoned myself. So perhaps I am disconnected from myself but not in a way I can properly explain.

Please can anyone else relate? :hug3:
Yes, I can relate. I have to quote you here so I can keep looking up to respond to your words.

I go through these periods a lot. I think some of it is due to the fact I'm pretty much a loner #1. I always felt different than other people. I thought different, I believed different. I saw the world as mostly selfish and me, me, me...and lack of care for the earth...these things always made me sad. I would try and mix in with others at events or school or work, and I may be okay for a bit, but then this sadness would come over me. That I was a misfit, but you know, I didn't want to be like them either. I think I felt sad because of who they were, how they behaved, what mattered to them most ...shallow and superficial things and I didnt' want to be part of that and felt that I didn't need people like that in my life, so then I would feel a bit isolated because to find someone who was more like myself didn't seem very easy...

I have some very good and dear friends and we are true and loyal to each other which is extremely important to me, but even so, sometimes I realize that I am still so much different than they are and I feel sad...so I wonder is there anyone like me? I know we are all individuals, but is there someone who shares in the same things as I do...the same joys, concerns, likes, dislikes, or am I just a true oddball.

Sometimes I feel like I can chat it up about anything and everything and will be, but then it comes to a stop, like I have had my fill, I don't want anymore, and I don't want to talk, I don't want to listen, just need quiet and stillness. Then of course, just thinking that, I feel odd again, the misfit.

I've had times in my life, that I have fallen so far deep into my own self that it was hard to reach out again and interact with others...it took a toll on me as well, but I did, clawed my way out and peeped my head out...embraced life again, I think depression has a lot to do with it, even if you may not think you are depressed, but how can you not be? Do you feel the melancholia? I feel it when I read your words...it so reminds me of myself and things in my life, times in my life. I could have written your words. Even now. Even now... Sigh.

Now my reply post is terribly long, my apologies... Regarding spiritualy...my gosh, when I read how you feel...the angry feelings... I know my own truth, my own experiences, and I think I've posted on other threads that sometimes a shake up will occur in my life and I will become fearful or something, insecure? I want to head off pain, so I throw myself into spiritual things, it's how I came to this forum, truth be known...I wanted to find something, what, I have no idea, but I would search for more and some things I found terribly fascinating and people too, but then as I continued to read and study, I felt angry and foolish and disillusioned and even the people that I thought seemed to have it oh so together, what teachers, masters, whatever, really I saw them in a different light that they weren't...not really. Just typical and struggling or mottling through like the rest of us...then I would see others that seemed worse off than I and longing so desparately to fit in somewhere and to feel and be special if only by themselves and that made me depressed and almost angry about spirituality altogether and seeing it is some kind of ...god, I don't know what... sad people looking for a fix and spiritualty was the supposed grand fix...just like religions and I despise religions...

Take a deep breath Sarian. But then I am brought back to myself again, my experiences again and it's like I'm being told today, just as when I was a child...I don't need to go out and about and keep looking, I know all I need to know right now, and what I need to know tomorrow, it will come tomorrow...quit trying to force it, but if I need to take the journey just to be sure, then go. Don't have to, but I do....then I come back 'home'...to what I already knew and tried to find 'out there'...

This christmas season was the most disconnected I have EVER felt...each one was lacking more each year, but this year I was quite taken aback at just how much was gone...it was very sad too. Each year I hoped and longed and tried to make a better holiday time, and each fell through. It's not to say I didn't have some wonderful experiences, but each year something was dying away more...

All that said and done, Starbuck, I feel this glow from within that now that I've nearly reached bottom, it seems, so to speak, a new life, a new way is preparing to begin and I am finding some excitement in that. I hope you will take notice of something like that within you as well.:hug2: :hug:

[hawkmoth65]

Thanks so much everyone who has responded here. You've all given me food for thought. I wish I could reply to everyone but I'm pushed for time after being away so long...

I don't honestly feel I'm depressed. I relate to those of you who say it's more a sort of 'spiritual observation' and also enjoyment of my own company. I did wonder if it's due to going deeply into my spiritual self and realising that how I relate to people has changed. I don't feel deeply distressed by this disconnect but it bothers me. Now I know it's a normal experience for someone who is growing it's not quite such an issue. I've been an introvert all my life so I'm not suddenly going to be at ease socially anyway, but suddenly it all seems very far away which it never did before. My old ways of relating no longer fit or feel appropriate.

Thanks for helping me make sense of this.I've spent many years being content with my own company,though for a majority of those my social anxiety has been responsible for keeping myself to myself.I'd also call myself an introvert Star,but as Psychoslice said,people who are naturally gregarious don't see their socialising tendencies as a problem.

On another level,Christmas has a wonderful ability of making us feel disconnected by leading us to believe everyone else is enjoying their exciting office parties and dinner invites while we are sitting alone in front of the TV.

[Sarian]

well, I just read everyone else's posts and lol, I feel like the misfit as usual. I'm glad you aren't depressed. I used to think I wasn't either at times, but for me it was only because I was so used to how I was feeling, it was the norm, then when I actually felt happiness, I was blown away.

Anyway, I spoke my experience. I hope you find your answers.

[santacruz18]

You are not alone, I too have gone thru social changes when a very close friendship stated to dissolve. (We raised out sons differently, with different results, hers not so favorable) I know a lot of people but I don't have "a best friend". Do I need one? Why do I feel so lonely without one?

I have also started my spiritual path 2 years ago and started seeking like minded people. I joined a spiritual church but I have not really connected with anyone in particular.

[Jyotir]

Hi Starbuck,

Many have made good comments
Just adding my two pence worth here.

As long as you are not depressed (and depression can be a reactive element of the general phenomenon, too), this phenomenon is normal for seekers. For one thing, there is the alienation from a predominantly rational materialistic culture as one becomes more and more subjective in experiencing Self within - 'going within', vs. the overwhelming 'outer' orientation of so-called 'normal' culture that was the previous, now receding context for life activity. That is a general movement (lifetimes). But specifically, there may be shorter (weeks, months, even years) periods of oscillation necessary from time-to-time to isolate and nurture this urge precisely because the social 'norms' can be co all-encompassing and overwhelming in the face of a nascent spiritual orientation and practice, pulling one back 'into the fold' so to speak. An awareness of one's spiritual aspirations knows enough to feel the regressive quality of this movement and won't allow it. One must go forward even while acclimating to new orientation while offering one's progress to the world at large either periodically at first and/or increasingly as it unfolds.

In the coming age it is going to be important to interact socially while bringing a more conscious spirituality to the fore, but this doesn't mean there is no validity or necessity to 'go within' as required, even some physical retreat. However, the days of rigorous and austere isolation for spiritual seekers is largely going to be a thing of the past now jmv. Just as in older times monasticism was a necessity to cultivate spiritual practice in complete isolation - even the point of spirituality in many cases was to 'escape' earthly existence altogether, largely as a personal achievement - a microcosmic enacting of macrocosmic opportunity, so too now on a higher turn of the spiral, no longer will it be necessary to 'escape' earthly life - but to divinize it. Not only will personal achievement be significant, but group spiritual achievement will become increasingly important and based on the individual subjective progress which will contribute to any collective, which will in turn become the synergistic context for further individual progress and so on. We can already see this trend of the last hundred or so years happening more and more, really accelerating.

And yet, it is normal to feel alone and bored in the face of these shifting orientations that for seekers are sufficient to cause the feelings you are experiencing - it means you have, and are changing. Losing friends, alienation from family, boredom, etc., is often part of this but it doesn't have to be permanent or 'debilitating' because (and this is where the anger issues come in) it takes time to coalesce the reformation of 'outer' life that is commensurate with major inner changes and these will happen, but patience is paramount. These are initiated by soul/Spirit and so are often not conscious decisions or deliberate plans even if responsive to conscious invocation. If you have faith, then patience should not be that hard to summon. Patience is often a faith in the Unity of the Divine to re-arrange circumstance for all involved, and since everyone has different standards and needs it takes time to effect the comprehensive changes. (imagine the entire world like this!) Patience allows for this. It’s the people who have invoked change, who are in the 'no-man's land' of transition who feel uncertain, who do not have faith, who feel lost, abandoned, bitter, impatient, resentful - like life has dealt them a debilitating blow ("I wanted to be spiritual and now this! Oh woe!"), when really what is happening is the very thing needed and asked for - and is certain - but just takes time. Only we don't have the capacity to see the bigger picture (except in retrospect). Talk to people who "woke-up" 30, 40, 50 years ago.

These cyclical iterations of introversion and extroversion take place on all levels and scales - from death/reincarnation, sleep/waking up, meditation/life activity, or a thoughtful momentary reflection and then continuing on an afternoon stroll. Introversion and social interaction is an obvious big one because so much of human life involves these group interactions on many levels both interpersonal, family, friends and social. It is only natural that one seeks some isolation (even metaphoric) from time to time as the spiritual process unfolds in one's life. Specifically, my experiences indicate that two prominent times this happens especially for protracted periods, are when in preparation for major new experience or in assimilation of already acquired experience. Of course, it is always much easier to determine the import of these phases in retrospect vs. as they are happening - and that sounds like your current situation.

There is theory and practice. We read, get new ideas and constructs, we get inspired by others. But then we have to go and practice all that to get experience and realization of the theoretical - and that is where those phases of preparation and assimilation come in often before and after lots of activity, often tested in social spheres, but within spontaneous activity it is sometimes or often difficult to process and realize what is actually happening that is meaningful or significant in terms of a personal growth. We're talking about significant long term shifts in consciousness and that means ongoing changes in life, but especially the increasing procurement of the inner landscape.

A good case to look at if you are inclined, that will show that even great spiritual Masters go through this (although in this case 'externally' enforced, but his process of dealing with it is revelatory) - read about Sri Aurobindo's experiences while he was imprisoned, put into solitary confinement for sedition in 1908 for one year by the British. He talks about all of the same feelings. ("Tales of Prison Life")

Also this might be helpful, one of Sri Chinmoy's books that is appropriate (maybe perfect) for this topic:
I Go Out, I Come In (http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/books/1155)


~ J

[Mountain-Goat]

My old ways of relating no longer fit or feel appropriate.
Thanks for helping me make sense of this.
Relating to reality, to others, connecting, feeling you fit in.

When you fit into yourself, via i assume by my experiences thus far, when you fit perfectly into yourself, you will fit in anywhere.

When you reach a certain point\level\stage of acceptance of yourself via understanding via self exploration,
when you are contented, peaceful, no more inner turmoil, when you are secure in who you currently are,
when you fit into yourself like a glove without any adverse affects, whether you know that you still need to fix things or not,
that is, even when you know you are not perfect, according to the ideal you that you envison of yourself and you want to fix things...
in less words, when you love yourself, that's when you fit in with yourself, and that's when you fit it wherever you are.

[Xan]

I did wonder if it's due to going deeply into my spiritual self and realising that how I relate to people has changed. I don't feel deeply distressed by this disconnect but it bothers me.
Along this line, lately I've found myself laughing a little at odd moments and feel sort of sorry since someone is taking himself Very Seriously at the time.

In our spiritual growing we get both saner and more unusual in human society... but what could be odder than that, eh?


Xan

[Sarian]

Along this line, lately I've found myself laughing a little at odd moments and feel sort of sorry since someone is taking himself Very Seriously at the time.

In our spiritual growing we get both saner and more unusual in human society... but what could be odder than that, eh?


Xan
I'm getting the impression that you are taking out something personal going on with you and another on SF and dragging it about into other avenues here. It's pretty sad.

[thunderseed]

Feeling disconnected from people is a symptom of feeling disconnected to self, which is usually caused by fear, which is caused by disconnection from source, causing an escape mechanism.
Yet the need to be alone is normal.

It doesn't matter what is causing it, what you are doing about it is what the focus should be. In this case, it is doing the opposite of what you have been doing. The way I find it easier to connect with people is to find a genuine interest in people. An interest in their psychology, how their mind works, ect - without a genuine interest, of course I won't even be looking for ways that I can relate to them, I won't be listening to them for things I can build an intriguing conversation with.

There really are no such thing as incurable diseases, but there are such things as incurable people, these people are those who do not want to do anything about their health, and those who constantly need the health systems to tell them that they are sick instead of focusing on their healing. The truth is that the health systems have known for years there is no such thing as incurable sickness. The cure is reversing the lifestyle changes that brought on said sickness.
Focusing on diagnosis' is something that is done out of fear. And that fear is brainwashed to society. Do not let it get to you.

Depression is not a brain disorder and it is also irreversible, it is a spiritual problem and a lifestyle problem. Just the same as cancer is not a disease, it is a consequence of lack of spirituality and harmful lifestyle. There are only 5 ways you can become sick physically and mentally - these are:

Food and Water
Elimination of Waste
Exercise
Stress
Spiritual

Therefore reversing the 5 lifestyle changes is what heals all disease, physical and mental, which also includes a diet rich in healthy nutrients and having lots of alkaline foods!

[just a person]

I'm getting the impression that you are taking out something personal going on with you and another on SF and dragging it about into other avenues here. It's pretty sad.

Not saying Xan's laughter is or isn't related to what is being discussed here, but at the very least I don't agree with the harsh dismissal of his connection. I for one have experienced the same laughter at inappropriate times or at the non-punchline of jokes, and it began precisely at the same time the feeling of social disconnection with certain people and on certain topics began.

[Emmalevine]

Thanks so much everyone for responding here. Your posts have been incredibly helpful and I so appreciate your honesty.

Sarian - actually your experience resonates with mine in so many ways. Not saying I'm depressed (not sure I am at the moment, at least not clinically) but your struggles with existance are very similar.

Hawkmoth - I am very introverted but at the same time I crave deep and meaningful connections.

Alternate Carpark - that's just it, not sure I have reached that point yet. I have been wondering that.

Thunderseed - yes I'm not sure if I'm completely connected to self, but is it natural for human beings to crave social connection even while having a healthy relationship with self? Just wondering.

Xan - yes maybe insanity is in a strange way connected to spirituality!

[Sarian]

Not saying Xan's laughter is or isn't related to what is being discussed here, but at the very least I don't agree with the harsh dismissal of his connection. I for one have experienced the same laughter at inappropriate times or at the non-punchline of jokes, and it began precisely at the same time the feeling of social disconnection with certain people and on certain topics began.

Everyone can find humor here and there. I do. But I thought it was a new low for xan, who is a she, not a he, to knock someone she's having a tiff with on another thread. I thought she was above low blows like that. You apparently have not noticed the feud she has going on with another board member.

Sorry Starbuck for the little distraction from your thread. I'm glad you are not depressed and I hope you start feeling alittle more connected again.:hug: Oh, and sometimes with things going on in my life...that low level melancholia can really zap something from you. You may not often realize it, especially, like I mentioned before, I think, if it's been going on for some time. When feeling as you do, it's easy not to have joy in your life and feel blah, at best.

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

In our spiritual growing we get both saner and more unusual in human society... but what could be odder than that, eh?


Xan

The odd becomes normal when the world is understood for how absurd it really is :D . Then, there's something to the notion that you have to lose your mind in order to gain your sanity :D . That was part of my path , anyway.

Now... like you suggest, I might seem like one of the least sane people someone will meet, or one of the sanest. I know I'm both :cool: .

D

[Deusdrum]

I think there is kind of a disconnect in the world today because of certain discrepancies between reality as sold to us and held as true by a kind of mainstream adherence and then reality as it is, and is emerging from a more holistic/spiritual perspective. Establishing or re-establishing this connection starts first with oneself. If others seem incompatible with it that's ok. Staying true and honest to yourself is to me the prime directive, and continuing to move through the buffer zones is important i think because then we bring our natural connection out into the world and it has it's effects and recognition from others, which it will do & be if sincere imo, though maybe not in the ways we would necessarily expect.

If that makes any sense.

[Emmalevine]

Yes absolutely Duesdrum...I couldn't have said it better myself. It's a struggle I feel everyday.

[Xan]

I'm getting the impression that you are taking out something personal going on with you and another on SF and dragging it about into other avenues here. It's pretty sad.

No, Sarian... I was speaking of someone in my home and not on SF at all. Those assumptions will killl 'ya. :wink:


Xan

[Xan]

Xan - yes maybe insanity is in a strange way connected to spirituality!

Actually what I meant was society and our usual way of relating is connected to insanity. We live in a crazy world. In discovering our true nature we become misfits in this Planet Earth Psychiatric Hospital and School for Slow Learners. ha ha


Xan

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

I think there is kind of a disconnect in the world today because of certain discrepancies between reality as sold to us and held as true by a kind of mainstream adherence and then reality as it is, and is emerging from a more holistic/spiritual perspective. Establishing or re-establishing this connection starts first with oneself. If others seem incompatible with it that's ok. Staying true and honest to yourself is to me the prime directive, and continuing to move through the buffer zones is important i think because then we bring our natural connection out into the world and it has it's effects and recognition from others, which it will do & be if sincere imo, though maybe not in the ways we would necessarily expect.

If that makes any sense.

Makes plenty of sense. We can and do create our own reality , and the universe rearranges itself to fit our pictures of reality . When we are following our truth, manifesting our vision, seeing and attracting similar, positive, constructive energies , the universe reciprocates , though as you suggest, it doesn't necessarily look like we think it will . (I didn't think it would be mostly yellow and green , with snowflakes and smileys :wink: )

Long time ago we broke away from the old world view of what's what , and staying true to that inner vision , whatever that connection is for each of us, does become the directive ...and the years roll on by ... :cool:

[Swami Chihuahuananda]

Actually what I meant was society and our usual way of relating is connected to insanity. We live in a crazy world. In discovering our true nature we become misfits in this Planet Earth Psychiatric Hospital and School for Slow Learners. ha ha


Xan

You have to assume a deep level of insanity in conforming to the consensus reality operating in these everyday Earthman (and woman) realms. You have to be crazy and have this insanity become normality just to function here.

Otherwise, living here will drive you batty :wink: :D

Then, there are folks like us , who see something beyond the everyday crazy. We get to shed the collective insanity , which might make some of us seem like nutjobs to the 'normal' people here . But really, I only gained a sense of mental well being after living through the crazy here, and somehow coming through the fire a different sort of critter . My personality is still scrambled eggs , but my personality is not what defines me now ; it's just a small component in the big machine ; like a little wind-up toy I have fun with . :D

[Mountain-Goat]

Alternate Carpark - that's just it, not sure I have reached that point yet. I have been wondering that.

You won't know something until you experience it, but I see you have been exploring the possibility of this concept, searching for it, journeying toward it.
So you have a theory that this thing I spoke of is a real thing and you wish to go see for yourself to confirm your theory.

Is it a truth or just a wonderful ideal?
Won't know till it's explored, till one experiences it.
But when these wonderful things are finally experienced after much journeying to get there...wow!
And in those wow moments, much more of reality is understood than what one was hoping to understand by taking the journey in the first place.

I have realized thi is why these moments are wow moments, because far more is revealed than one expected.
And how awesome is the self to embark on these journeys without any "proof" that what one is looking for will be found or is real.

There's a lot more under the hood of a person than one realizes.

[Sarian]

No, Sarian... I was speaking of someone in my home and not on SF at all. Those assumptions will killl 'ya. :wink:


Xan
No, not really.

...and nice try.

[Emmalevine]

You won't know something until you experience it, but I see you have been exploring the possibility of this concept, searching for it, journeying toward it.
So you have a theory that this thing I spoke of is a real thing and you wish to go see for yourself to confirm your theory.

Is it a truth or just a wonderful ideal?
Won't know till it's explored, till one experiences it.
But when these wonderful things are finally experienced after much journeying to get there...wow!
And in those wow moments, much more of reality is understood than what one was hoping to understand by taking the journey in the first place.

I have realized thi is why these moments are wow moments, because far more is revealed than one expected.
And how awesome is the self to embark on these journeys without any "proof" that what one is looking for will be found or is real.

There's a lot more under the hood of a person than one realizes.

Yes....I imagine that making that journey and not knowing is what one might call a 'leap of faith.' You simply don't know if what you explore or even believe in is real but once you do, it is certainly a 'wow'.

[Emmalevine]

You have to assume a deep level of insanity in conforming to the consensus reality operating in these everyday Earthman (and woman) realms. You have to be crazy and have this insanity become normality just to function here.

Otherwise, living here will drive you batty :wink: :D

Then, there are folks like us , who see something beyond the everyday crazy. We get to shed the collective insanity , which might make some of us seem like nutjobs to the 'normal' people here . But really, I only gained a sense of mental well being after living through the crazy here, and somehow coming through the fire a different sort of critter . My personality is still scrambled eggs , but my personality is not what defines me now ; it's just a small component in the big machine ; like a little wind-up toy I have fun with . :D

I agree with you both...life on Earth has a sort of insanity that I've been aware of since I was a small child (although perhaps not surprisingly, given my upbringing). This has been reflected by society too and the quote I like best in this context is 'If life is a joke, lets make it a good one' (said by a comedian).

[Xan]

But really, I only gained a sense of mental well being after living through the crazy here, and somehow coming through the fire a different sort of critter .

my personality is not what defines me now...

Well said, Dar.


Xan

[Mountain-Goat]

Yes....I imagine that making that journey and not knowing is what one might call a 'leap of faith.' You simply don't know if what you explore or even believe in is real but once you do, it is certainly a 'wow'.

I have a theory that faith is the bridge between one's inner intuitve all knowing self and one's outer conscious learning doesn't know everything self.

That when faith is applied to oneself, one keeps going, one pushes through hardships.
The impossibles are made possible.
And it's when one puts faith into other things, and things don't work out, one gives up.

For example:
Currently there is no cure for depression. Then why do people keep looking for it.
What knowledge do they have that energizes them to look for one.
If it was fact that there is no cure, people would not look for it.
There must be some fact somewhere that there is a cure.
I think it's inside the person.
I think the inner self has access to all knowledge, thus the cure for depression,
and it's faith in oneself that energizes people to keep looking.