Need ideas to heal situation

[Tuliana]

I am not sure where to post this, so I hope this is correct.

This is a really long story, but to try to get it into a nutshell-

Almost ten years ago, a series of events occurred, one impacting and resulting in the other, like dominos. This series of very unfortunate events have led me to the point I am at now.

It resulted in a bad financial situation as well as still having to deal with the remnants of some very despicable people and events. It also resulted in a shift in career path, due to the money situation, that left me in a miserable job that (1) I hate and (2) is totally removed from what I feel are my calling or talents. It is also very unhealthy due to the high stress level. Lastly, I have ended up entangled in so many trickle down problems from small to large that somehow can be traced to this situation.

In any case, I have tried EVERYHING to extricate myself from this mess. I have tried soul retreival, spells, banishing, cleansings, asking my spirit guide/guardian angel for help and virtually whatever I could find to untangle this situation. NOTHING has worked. I continue to feel like a hamster on a wheel with no way off.

I also have not left the mundane go. With the help of a couple of really good people, I actually am less entangled than I was, but it is still there, sometimes worse than others. I have looked hard for other jobs, but the ones I might get don't pay enough to deal with the finances. Plus, I am getting older and not the most employable person anymore. I have also tried to downsize expenses, but no matter how much I cut, I can't get it below what I need to make.

There are three problems: (1) A terrible financial situation that requires a good paying job. (2) A good paying job that is miserable, a total mismatch and unhealthy, but solves the money problem and (3) Residual garbage left over from the things that happened ten years ago that seem to have no closure.

As I said, this thing was set into motion ten years ago. I just want it to stop and to be able to get into a situation that is at least minimally happy and more relaxing.

I am at my wits end. I am burned out on the whole esoteric route. Like I said, nothing has seemed to be able to wipe this clean, yet, the esoteric is the only thing that seems to have a chance at opening a door.

What I need to do is literally walk away from all of it and move far away, but go figure how that works without abdicating all of my responsibilities and taking up residence in a cardboard box (which at times seems like a plan).

Any ideas are welcome.

[John32241]

Hi,

I suggest that a shift in perception would help you the most.


Almost ten years ago, a series of events occurred, one impacting and resulting in the other, like dominos. This series of very unfortunate events have led me to the point I am at now.

It resulted in a bad financial situation as well as still having to deal with the remnants of some very despicable people and events. It also resulted in a shift in career path, due to the money situation, that left me in a miserable job that (1) I hate and (2) is totally removed from what I feel are my calling or talents. It is also very unhealthy due to the high stress level. Lastly, I have ended up entangled in so many trickle down problems from small to large that somehow can be traced to this situation.


I find that those painful events and hurtful people that come into our life may well be quite a blessing in disguise. If you ask your inner guidance what possible value any of these set of circumstances may have for you, and then listen carefully for those insights, you may see some wisdom in all of this.

Best Wishes!!
John

[Tuliana]

Hi John

Thank you. I could not agree more and there have been a couple of times that really dire events turned out to truly be a blessing in disguise once I was a couple of years out from it. I have no doubt that this could also be one.

For right now, though, it just seems to drag on and on and on. I have never had such a span of discontent and stress with what seems like no light at the end of the tunnel.

There are even sort of silly things like I really want to rid my house of anything that reminds me of that situation. I need the time to do this and I don't have the time because of the job and I have the job because of the situation and AUGHHHH.

I feel like I just want to scream at the universe- STOP!!!

[MYFIGO]

I can only tell you how it was for me... and perhaps that will help you to see a possible outcome for yourself.

I ended up in a job that was not so bad in itself, but the people in my office that I had to work with were terribly negative and banded together against me. The leader of the pack is the mother of the business I work for and while I do have job security as I work for her sons (thank goodness) and not her, she is not going anywhere. She will be there until she takes her last breath. Her office is 5 feet from my desk and she literally watches what I do all day long.

She is paranoid, jealous, hateful, manipulative and conniving. I tried everything to improve the situation with no success. Yes... I could have quit. I realized though that I was attracting bully type situations. It wasn't so much that I attracted them though as how I handled them allowed them to develop and fester. Learning to master this situation was perhaps one of my life lessons.

What I mean to get across here is that it is not truly anyone's "fault" nor do they deserve that they are in a situation such as I was in and that you are in. However, how we manage our thinking and response to such situations can certainly have an effect on how much they affect us and how long.

Change of our attitude is the answer. There is a great deal of power in the self confidence that one emits when he/she enters a room. Negativity attracts negativity, positivity attracts positivity... but the real secret is that positivity actually repels negativity.

Your attitude (even though it is understandable that you feel this way) is that you hate your job. This is what people see and feel from you all day long, even at home. Without realizing it, you are contributing to the awful situation you are in. When you walk into work each day feeling the way you do, you're going to create more of it.

Quite frankly, as long as you have that attitude, it's going to be most difficult to get hired somewhere else regardless of abilities.

You say that your age is against you... some people would say that your age allows you to have acquired much experience and knowledge. Some people respect the maturity that older workers have.

I would suggest watching people that you come into contact with daily and ask yourself how they seem to you. Then ask how you compare to those with positive qualities. What is there that you can develop in yourself.

We truly do have the answers within ourselves to solve many of our problems. Thought is action. Whatever thoughts you have, you are sending out and creating the continued existence that you despise. Or, you can choose to change your thinking and in turn change your existence.

I hope my thoughts have been helpful. I truly sympathize for your situation. My own situation has improved dramatically. All of the really negative people have gone on to other jobs. "Mama" is still there, but for the most part the situation has improved dramatically. Good luck with yours.

[John32241]

For right now, though, it just seems to drag on and on and on. I have never had such a span of discontent and stress with what seems like no light at the end of the tunnel.



I have had similar experiences. I found the solution through my inner guidance.

I understand that we are meant to solve these puzzles, not live with them.

John

[Tuliana]

I agree that I am very transparent and everyone knows how much I dislike being there. I am sure that does add to it, but I just don't know how I can go from being miserable to even being neutral. It is really good that you were able to turn that around, MYFIGO. I have been there for almost 15 years now and it is just time to move on.

I agree, we need to solve the problems. I think about it constantly. What if I did this or what if I did that.

Previously, I have at least been given a door of opportunity in some way. This time the universe seems to be silent. That is what is so perplexing.

[awakenow]

Hi Tuliana
My heart goes out to you. I am 48 yrs old. I had a period of 10 years in my working life where I tried so hard to make a positive difference to the (government - environmental) organisation and all that seemed to happen was a lurched from one conflict to the next. The further it went the more manipulative, negative people I seemed to attract.

I remember walking up the short hill to the office one day and I physically struggled to place one foot in front of the other. I was quite depressed, my money seemed to just disappear down a black hole and my health was in danger.

My life began to turn around when I changed my attitude and consciously started to love everyone and everything. I let go of the outcomes I thought were important and focused on forgiving all the people that seemed to making poor decisions for the planet and people. I chose to walk away from that situation, focus on new directions which my heart indicated and simplify my life for a while. I found that money sorted itself out and I started to attract people beneficial to my journey. 4 years on, I appreciate the lessons I learned (and even the people who forced those lessons on me) but don't miss my old life for one second.

Tuliana, all I can give you is the hope of one positive story. I have every faith that your beautiful soul will find a more joyful path at the right time.
Love and hugs

[ravenstar]

It resulted in a bad financial situation as well as still having to deal with the remnants of some very despicable people and events. It also resulted in a shift in career path, due to the money situation, that left me in a miserable job that (1) I hate and (2) is totally removed from what I feel are my calling or talents. It is also very unhealthy due to the high stress level. Lastly, I have ended up entangled in so many trickle down problems from small to large that somehow can be traced to this situation.

(There are even sort of silly things like I really want to rid my house of anything that reminds me of that situation. I need the time to do this and I don't have the time because of the job and I have the job because of the situation and AUGHHHH.)



Any ideas are welcome.

To answer the last bit, you had time to write this post....now take that same little bit of time to clean your home. Just as day to day living creates physical garbage, empty boxes, old banana peels, crumpled paper, they also produce mental and emotional garbage. Empty hopes, blackened attitudes and crumpled feelings accumulate, no matter how healthy and tidy you are. And the more sensitive you are, the more debris we collect.


Physically, getrid of old, unnecessary, outdated, disorganized useless stuff surroundingyou. If something no longer serves you,donate it back to the universe, (Goodwill, Salvation Army, Thrift Stores) where it can benefit another and continue to dosome good. Getting rid of the clutterwill help you to start focusing on what you want and bring into your life.

Mentally, creatively do the same thing in your mind. You could try and imagine that your home is overflowing with garbage....what does it look like, keep a mental note of that....whatever the symbols show you, let them rise up from your subconscious to your conscious mind. As the garbage surfaces, throw it in a heavy duty garbage bag. Maybe you only need one, maybe you'll need twenty. When done lug it out to the garbage and watch it thrown on the truck and hear the compactor grinding away. When all done walk back into your house and notice there's more bounce in your step. Your mind feels free and light. Your heart breathes more easily.

Another idea is to take a shower and imagine any limiting, defeating and depressing feelings or beliefs being rinsed away. Watch the emotions that are not yours swirling down the drain away from you. Let the purifying water cleanse you with love and energy.

Hope this helps :smile:

[MYFIGO]

15 years is a very, very long time. I hope it helps to know that other people have been in a similar situation. I wish you happiness and peace.

[Tuliana]

Thanks everyone.

I have two good friends who are going through similar situations. We all keep saying, something has to change for the better. All of our situations, though different, are similar.

I appreciate the thoughts and good wishes.

[Gem]

I feel like I just want to scream at the universe- STOP!!!

I know what you mean man.

[mattie]

It seems you have a good paying job that you don’t like. Many are in the same situation. Appreciate that you are not your job. Many have low paying jobs they hate.

More details about what you’re dealing w/ would give others the ability to give more specific replies.

What are you wanting to wipe clean? Your feelings about this? The actual financial circumstances?

[Tuliana]

I suppose I can break this down to being outragiously overworked and overwhelmed in every way. I am just emotionally worn to the bone.

That aside, I guess my bigger frustration is not being able to find an available way out or like the universe just isn't listening.

There were likely lessons and ok, I can say I learned, but enough already.

[Luckymadon]

Hi Tuliana,

What's your passion? Is there something you are passionate about? Something you dreamed of doing or becoming since childhood but never found the means or initiative to manifest? Sometimes life happens too early and we find it hard to focus on our original dreams. This happened to me.

I was always passionate about the performing arts and dreamed of someday winning an Oscar or Pulitzer or other type of artistic award, but before I could even begin to work toward fulfilling that dream, life threw me a couple curve balls that set me back a good twenty years. Then I had my children young and raised them as a single mom.( No time to work on my dreams when my daughters are my first priority) As I got older, that dream of becoming a famous actress/writer/singer seemed to fly out the window. It seemed beyond my grasp. My life was mundane to say the least. I was living on assistance for a while, then worked minimum wage jobs that went nowhere. Then, at the age of 44 when my children were grown, I mourned about that lost dream, but something within me told me not to let it go. I made a spontaneous decision to drop my mundane life and persue my dream. I relocated to a city on the other side of the country, left everything else behind, including my family, enrolled in a Fine Arts College and studied advanced acting for film, television and theatre. It's now two years later and I have my advanced acting diploma. I have booked a few jobs in the theatre and have done some voice characterization work, have contributed my talents to a few student films. I continue ro get education and experience where I can. I take part in improv classes...(comedy is another of my passions) I have also joined a Toastmasters group and am working on my communication and public speaking skills. I'm 47 yrs young and my family all think I'm crazy, but hey, it's my dream. I am also on the cusp of writing a novel. I have never been happier!

I hope my story inspires you.

[Tuliana]

I wish you the very best Luckymadon. What a wonderful story.

It seemed like I used to be able to manifest a great deal. Now, it seems like no matter what I have done, I can't seem to get off of this path.

At one point I even (and still wonder) if someone might have bound what I am able to do. Probably sounds whack, but there is someone would do that, not out of malice, but due to beliefs. If that did happen, what a fool she was because to be bound means one can effect nothing.

[Sapphirez]

two things struck me a lot in this thread...

the first is the power of our own thoughts.. I am reading a book right now that introduces this in depth, so it's especially relevant to me. I think we really have no idea..
well obviously people like Myfigo and awakenow have a better idea of it, but despite its simplicity it seems to be one of the more elusive components of spiritual wisdom.. I don't know much on it yet, but I think the power of our thoughts is really beyond our wildest dreams

the other thing I noticed was about you.. well first off let me say I am sorry that you have felt stuck for so long and that you had to pay for what others did as it sounds..
I can't help but see what you write and think that you have not really learned whatever you are in this predicament to learn.. maybe your lesson is simply just being positive and realizing the power of your thought field.. I don't know. I think that you should reflect...

there are more than one components, such as one of the most important being that we Must suffer in order to progress.. it's basically a law of life, at least the way life is now. People get wiser by going through troubles, trials and tribulations. right? Phoenix rising out of the ashes, etc.. all of that, it's just a simple element of life as we know it. isn't it? who advances and grows unscathed? Nobody. put 2 people side by side, one who has lead an impossibly innocent and untouched life.. and one who has well let's just say has lived some life.. which one do you think is more powerful?
I guess it's like we have to grow layers of disgruntledness so we can peel them away and emerge anew but wise and stronger

which brings me to something that I think can help you, it's called EFT; there's a section about it on the forum here and even a thread in this section right here.. and Tons of information online and in books and other resources
It can help you to address the pains that have stuck with you.. to free you from them. and it can also help in the other aspects too.

now I don't know what you've been through, but your thinking of your job right now as punishment makes it at least 300% more punishment.. so dismantling the negative thinking gives a good headstart.. on top of that, if you can embrace that everyone has to deal with bad stuff and believe that everything happens for a reason, you can get closer to a solution.. I think that you may need to sit back and look at everything and ask yourself what makes you think that you're above it? why is this not for you? why are these not your lessons? or maybe even just one lesson you've yet failed to learn?
I believe we plan our lives out before we live them.. whether or not that's true, most would admit there is some purpose to everything.. so you have to think why are you/have you been in the situation you are? and why haven't you been able to escape? why do you hate it So much? and why do you deserve something different? why would this reality or worse be ok for the next guy but not you? just pick a random person.. the smelly man on the bus.. the single mom living in a shelter with her 2 kids.. well, of course there are much more unimaginable circumstances than that, but of course you get the idea.. You must know you are lucky.. and you must open your eyes and try to be of more help to your surroundings.. instead of condemning them. maybe one of your co-workers needs your help.. or maybe it's just a lesson of suffering, I don't know, but I just saw a theme in at least two of your posts that told me you don't really see the bigger picture.. maybe you looked at it before, but whatever it is, you haven't seen it yet. I better stop surmising and postulating.. hopefully what I meant to say has been said lol. Maybe you're supposed to have a positive new effect where you work but you've been so shrouded in your own steeping negativity you haven't been available to be the light.. there's got to be some reason why you are where/how you are ♥
I'll pray for you and hopefully you become much happier soon.
lastly I have to ask if you're reading any books right now.. books are excellent ways to shift our paradigms

[Tuliana]

Thanks everyone.

I think the fundamental issue is something that I saw on another thread. Xan said it is important to let go of limiting beliefs. That seems to be a common belief and truly does make sense.

That very much was my attitude when things were going well. If I was in a situation I did not like, I just thought, ok, forget this, and went somewhere else. I knew there was risk, but I always figured things would work out, and they did.

What has happened now is that the risk is no longer just about me. I have people depending on me and the stakes are high. I can't let them down and that is what is limiting my ability to get out of this mess.

Not sure if there is anything I can do about that.

[Medium_Laura]

So fear is holding you back. Fear of not being able to make ends meet where as before you TRUSTED that it would work out.. and it did. (no fear)

You need to again find that "Eh.. it's gonna work out.. I know it" attitude.

The lesson is to go back to basics. You will make it, believe it. :)

[John32241]

What has happened now is that the risk is no longer just about me. I have people depending on me and the stakes are high. I can't let them down and that is what is limiting my ability to get out of this mess.

Not sure if there is anything I can do about that.

I agree with Laura about this. You need to establish that confidence again.

It is interesting that when we sort of have nothings to lose, its a lot easier to trust. Then when we hold something dear and precious close to us, we find that fear starts to dominate us. The universe cares for each of us in very appropriate ways. Your perception of being a provider and care taker may be over exagerated.

When you let go of beliefs that hold you back, things can flow gracefully in your life.

Best Wishes!!
John

[Tuliana]

Thanks much.

Yes, I entirely agree that is the variable. I have actually done some soul retrieval work to try to regain some of that trust and courage.

A couple of things happened simultaneously, responsibilities just naturally increased, I had a number of my tangible and intangible safety nets ripped out from under me, and because of this, I lost my belief that if you work hard enough or believe or whatever, good things happen. I lost that fundamental correlation of if this, then that. What I came (and am still overcoming) to realize is that no matter how solid the plan and or supports or protections, everyone is vulnerable.

I fully admit it is very much like PTSD. I got burned so badly that I have become what best can be described as phobic and stuck. Everytime i exercized that old courage and even tried to rectify some original messes, I ended up getting burned once more. Honestly, if punishment is administered enough times, eventually you just cower in a corner.

I entirely agree- I need to believe again like I used to.