View Full Version : Can you please advise me?
28-01-2007, 10:25 PM
I'm not sure where to put this and I thought it might go in here so here goes:
Ok I just came back from spending the weekend with my sister and although we get on great there are some aspects of her that worry me.
For over three years she has been quite negative and pessimistic towards herself. She is rather angry, bitter and cynical at life, she has no faith in anything and is really rather eaten-up by this negativity.
She is seeing a Counsellor about her condition and although she says that the Counsellor has been helpful my sister is still rather negative, bitter and cynical.
She always says "nothing works" "this will never happen" "I won't ever get what I want" and things like this.
I have tried to tell her of positive thinking, the secret, forgiveness, acceptance but she just snaps and says the doesn't believe in any of it and always goes onto say "it doesn't work for me nothing ever does"
I have tried what I can but still nothing and I can sense that she is very angry with life-but luckily she told me that she doesn't believe in suicide and had not thought about it-I think she's telling the truth here as I'm also an empath and never got any feeling of this from her.
Life has not been easy for her but it most certainly hasn't been as awful as she is making it out to be...I think she is afraid but am not sure of what exactly...
She is not into spirituality and is in deep denial about many aspects of her life...
I asked her about forgiveness but sadly she says that she will not forgive anyone from the past...
She does not have self-confidence and she does not have a partner but she is a beautiful and lovely girl-she thinks that no guys like her.
I cleansed her room as she moved houses last week and she admitted that she had a wonderful and really deep sleep-something she hasn't had in a long time, she also seemed a lot more cheerful.
It seems that she's looking for answers but told me that she's given up on hope!
I basically have asked the Arch Angels and Angels to help her and I wonder if this is the right thing to do?
I want to send her more healing and help from the Angels and AA's but wonder how to go about doing so.
But she had come this far and she has a Councellor to talk to so she is getting some help-but I want to help turn her around to light and positivity...
I know that you cannot help someone unless they want to help themselves but she is my sister and I do love her and I just cannot sit around and just pretend that it will all sort itself out.
Is there any advice here? Do I send her distant healing and if so how should I do it?
Please advise me here!
Thank you very much!
Lots of love,
29-01-2007, 12:31 AM
Does thinking that 'nothing works', actually work for her?
29-01-2007, 05:04 AM
I would surround her in your love and feeling of positivity, knowing that it will somehow "rub off" on her. I would also make the intention for her that she will be shown clearly what she must do to throw off the negativity that she has got into. Of course she must really intend this for herself, in order to really open herself to it; but in the meantime you would be building up a momentum of useful energies towards that end... Hope that helps!
Just try not to become too anxious!
29-01-2007, 06:33 AM
I wish I could offer some helpful advice, but I'm often in the same situation as your sister... usually when I'm feeling better, it's because of circumstances or situations outside of my control, so I can't even suggest anything to do with that.
It seems to be more a factor of luck than anything you can do yourself to make her feel better.
29-01-2007, 07:11 AM
Sorry to hear that your sister is in the negative :icon_frown: however as you know it is her reponsibility & not yours it is most like that this is where she needs to be right now her life's lesson, learning curve for internal growth & needs to go through whatever is making her thrive on the negative that SHE chooses.(thrive a strange choice of words I know, but, that is how the EGO controls us keeps us in fear of the positivity prevents us from internal growth).
I do not know what your financial circumstances are but as I have discussed several times before Reiki healing works exceptionally well on clearing down negative emotions maybe you could treat her to a few sessions if the rest of the family are concerned ask them to contribute (I often do Reiki healing FOC i do not know whether you can find anyone who would be willing to do that for your sister I would gladly work with you sister if geographically that were possible) I would recommend sessions quite close together ask her to be open that's all she needs to be the Reiki will do the rest. I find it is much easier to be a gardener subtly sow a few seeds of suggestion Leave a book accidentally lying around is one way curiosity usually gets the better of most people :smile: & wait for them to germinate this way they do not get wrapped up in even more anger, negativity & think that the idea is theirs & not advice that they do not wish or want to accept.
In the meantime I will add your sister to my distant healing list I hope this is of some help to you.
29-01-2007, 11:04 AM
I agree with everyone else. There's not much you can do for people who are really cynical and negative about everything. You just have to let them learn their own lessons at their own pace...they will when they are ready. Just be there for her and send her loving energy and speak to her in a kind tone.If she needs to talk and wants to open up be there for her but don't become too involved either or she might take you down as well.
p.s I looked in the book I have by doreen virtue and asked what your sister needs to know. Maybe print the message out and lay it on her table or something. Something in the message might hit home for her.
Know that your always loved
when you feel neglected or unlovable, it means that your focussing on facades and illusions. The truth is your always cared for by all of heaven and every person, regardless of any appearances that would indicate otherwise.
God is all-loving and omnipresent. This means that Divine affection is everywhere and everything that seems otherwise is a just fear. Since this is the truth about every person, it follows that all individuals truly care about you, and you feel the same way about them.
You needn't endeavour to be loved or lovable. In fact this sort of strain implies that God's affection must be earned of forced, when in fact its the most natural part of this world. Instead of trying so hard, simply allow your true self to come shinning forth-the part of you that's happy and peaceful is God's loved expressed through you. everyone responds to this, because all people have a desire to remember heavens embrace. Through your happiness, other fund the Divine love and joy within themselves.
Good mindset to get into
I am always cherished, for I am truly lovable, through and through. Others genuinely care about me based on who I am and I reciprocate those feelings. God's affection us everywhere, including within me and all the people I meet.
29-01-2007, 11:55 AM
Sounds like she is afraid of things working out for her. maybe her perspective has become so negative the thought that it may not be so bad is frightening because she will have to admit she is wrong.
I've been in the same place myself, the things that helped me the most were doing things i really enjoyed, going to tai chi classes, learning an instrument, writing, drawing etc. Trust is a difficult one though, without that things are much harder than they need to be.
29-01-2007, 01:13 PM
Thank you so very much for your kindness and wonderful words and god bless you all:)
I was actually thinking of surrounding her with love and positive energy as it is true: only she can help herself.
The thing though is that she knows about certain spiritual things-knows about them but doesn't support them-she asked me about angels and work with angels, she is fine with me being an empath and also a medium and so it's not like she ridicules me and I think that being open to spiritual things (in the weird way that she is) is a key that she might be willing to look into it in her own time.
Dreamer: you make a lot of sense concerning my sister admitting she is wrong and the good thing is she loves to travel and so looks forward to travelling and she has a plan to travel to many different places:)
Alana: excellent idea of being there for her and sending her loving energy-I will do that:)
Moonflower: funny you mention reiki as I tried some on her for colds yesterday and she felt so relaxed that she wanted to sleep and she was open to recieving it so I reckon she will be up for reiki but I will talk to her about it and see what she says and it's a great idea to leave a book lying around perhaps I'll do that! Thank you so much for the distant healing:)
Thank you Pounamu for telling me to make an intention for her-while it will be better for her to make the intention it certainly helps for me to make the intention for there is a lot of energy in intentions and they should rub off onto her:)
Thank you Light Mage for telling me what you did and I sincerely hope that it all works out for you and that you see the best way forward:)
Bob23: Actually come to think of it thinking negative seems to work for her-well that's the impression I get-it's like some kind of defense system that she has...
Once again thank you all so very much for being kind and giving your advice-before I left her place she did ask me about angels and so she has a little glimmer of light in her and she also has some brilliant close friends that she can talk to-and thank you for giving me perspectives that I didn't know about concerning her!!
I will send her distant healing and ask the angels to help her out and do a few reiki techniques on her from time to time-I'm not a reiki practitioner and so will only use very basic techniques such as for colds or depression or headaches:)
Thank you all and god bless:)
Lots of love and positivity,
29-01-2007, 03:28 PM
friend, keep on the positive talk to ur sis, keep it going. that'll create a positive force. n all of us will pray for her.:smile: GOD will definitely help her out of this. take care friend
29-01-2007, 09:48 PM
have you asked your sister how she would like things to be? A good tool for this is the majic sleep game. "You go to bed one night and everything is normal but whilst you are asleep a fairy visits you and casts a spell which makes everything right. You wake up the next morning as normal, you go to the kitchen and get some breakfast as normal but everything feels right, how do you then experience the world so that you start to see that this spell has been cast." Then get the person to imagine there day after this spell has been cast. Something like that, talking about how you would like life to be is often a good way to recognise the blocks you may be putting in the way of what you want.
Sounds like your sister will get out of this fog that shes in. Having positive people around her will help her tremendously.
My girlfriend wasn't really into spirituality, i read about astral projection and it got my attention. Little did i know, it led me to spirituality. As i got into becoming more spiritual and learning about myself, I wanted my girlfriend to become spirititual with me. This turned me into someone i did not like very much, i started talking to my girlfriend about spirituality all the time. seemed like she really could care less about spirituality. So i eventually learned not to try and force spirituality on anyone. Showing by example can work wonders. The people around you begin to see the changes in you and they become curious, and become interested in what you are learning. So yes positive can have a great affect on negative, and negative can have an effect on positive if you let it. Just remember darkness has no room where light is. I wish you and your sister all the best. I will pray for her and send her LOVE. :hug3:
30-01-2007, 01:00 AM
Thank you Hari S and Pure:)
It's very nice to hear your advice.
Thing about my sister is that it seems as if she saw something during the evening I spent with her-normally where spirituality is concerned she becomes agitated and snaps back at me and has her opinion just the way she wants it but then after having cleansed her room (I used white candles, sea salt, incense and 7 of my crystals: citrine, roze quartz, amethyst, smoky quartz, black tourmaline, jade and clear quartz) I also asked AA Michael to help me, I used white light to cleanse her room and her body, I used white light as a shield around her etc...
Anyhow the next day I noticed that she was a little more calmer and although still angry there was something that I saw to give me hope that things will change for her and the feeling that I pick up from her is that of more calm and consideration...
I agree with you pure that darkness has no place where light is but I also believe that although you cannot lift someone out of the darkness you can sew a seed of light into their souls...
dreamer: I would ask her about how she would like life to be and she would tell me but would end it with "but it's never going to happen" but perhaps in a few weeks time I could ask her and in the meantime send her positivity and light...
Once again thank you for being so kind all of you:)
I will see how it goes with her-I was thinking of buying her a large rose quartz as it's prefect for her heart chakra-which is what needs to be healed the most!
Lots of love and positivity,
02-02-2007, 06:13 AM
this kind of depression has become common among ppl,especially those who are not into spirituality.and it looks like she doesnt want to listen to any good advice either.that is a big problem for u,and it is understandable.if u can just sit down with her often,express ur love for her in everything u say and do,and tell her that most of all,god loves her unlimitedly and it is time she turned to god.only he can bring her out of this slowly but surely.keep reminding her that god loves her and that all negative happenings in her life are just lessons to learn from,and she has to take the first step to come out of this.ask her to practise this-everytime she feels any of the negative feelings,just ask her to flip a coin in her mind and tell herself several times,"i will look for the positives,which are always there on the other side of this coin.always and daily,i will be grateful to god for my countless blessings.the sunlight,and god's light is all around me,god's grace is always upon me,i open myself up to it.i will not let anything come between me and god anymore.all the barriers are illusions i have created in my mind,and god is waiting for me with all love." negativity might be difficult to shake off,i have been thru that hell.ask her to fight it!let her know first of all that she does have a problem,and that u will support her to overcome it and become the sweet and positive girl that she really is.god bless both of u.neeti.
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