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Space_Man
17-01-2006, 10:57 PM
This is intended to be a place for adult survivors of child abuse (http://open-mind.org/Directory/index.php?ax=list&cat_id=7) to gather and support one another....

Poppies
24-01-2006, 09:20 PM
Just in case anyone else wanders in here...

I'm one - a survivor of child abuse - physical, mental, emotional I guess...

I'm here if anyone ever wants to talk!
:)

Ancestral
28-01-2006, 07:54 AM
I am a survivor of sexual molestation and if anyone wishes to talk to here or they can pm me anytime. We are stronger then we know and you can survive it too.

Poppies
28-01-2006, 10:58 AM
I am a survivor of sexual molestation and if anyone wishes to talk to here or they can pm me anytime. We are stronger then we know and you can survive it too.

Hi Ancestral!
I like what you say there!

It's so easy to carry the lies into our adult life and allow them to weaken us there.... the answer's in seeing the truth and CHOOSING to believe that.... focussing on our strengths rather than our (often perceived) weaknesses............

I have a quotation from a film in my signature: "Know thyself"....... simple words... yet profound... and a challenge too! :wink:

Ancestral
29-01-2006, 12:17 AM
Hi Poppies, Very true and I am still trying to know thyself and that may be a on going process for we are always changing. Recently I am finding out that we can lose a person without them dying or leaving your own home. My Grandmother's mind is not well and the women I knew is not there all the way and that hurts because I miss her but yet I can see her and hold her but it is not really her. Life can seem cruel but there is always a blessing at the end our journey. When it is her time to die she will be reunited with my Grandfather with a whole healthy spirit to greet him. Although it hurts so much now we shall hang in there until the end of her life and we will keep loving her until we are together once again. My pain is nothing compared to what my Grandmother is going through. She is 95% blind, hearing loss, and no husband to lean on. She lost her independance and there is nothing we can do to give it back but we can love her no matter what. I do love her more then she will know and I am proud to have her as my Grandmother.

Ancestral
11-02-2006, 10:00 PM
Looks like some posting here got lost during transfer and I thought I would try to repost mine from yesterday. I also hope someone hacks that hacker too so he knows what he has put this board through.:D

As I grow older there are more days when I do not relive those moments of what he did to me. There are times however when it comes back like a tidalwave hitting me smack in the face. It happend on night when I finally was comfortable being intimate with a man. Flashback was emabarrassing and made me feel shameful because it ruined a beautiful moment. He was not hurt about what happened but I felt so ashamed because I had thought that I was past that. Wrong, just because you go years without thinking about it does not mean that it won't come back.

I feel that for those whom have been traumatized by abuse will always find it difficult to talk about. After all it stirs up emotions that are painful for us but we should not be shamed of that. Our emotions are as we all know a part of us. I used to run away from life but that got me nowhere and I ended up hurting myself far more then the man who molested me. It kept me his victim for over 17 years and that was far too long. Now I have to face those memories and not let them make me his victim anymore. I deal the best that I can and that is not always easy. We should not forget to allow ourselves just to be human beings without being afraid to show our true self. It is okay just to be who you are and if you feel like shouting out then do it. Emotions do not make us a weak person nor being raped makes us a weak person. We are stronger then we know for we are still here today breathing every breath. I have seen the courage all of you have shown on this thread and your tears as well. I take it one day at a time and handle it as best as I can and I think talking about it here for me helps. Thank you Space_Man for starting this thread for us. You are helping us to heal even more.:smile:

Woman Who Loves Nature
12-02-2007, 10:30 AM
I too was sexually abused as a child from the age of two till I was ten and by more than one person.I at the age of 32 went into mental health for five years of counseling and I am happy to say that I have addressed the trauma of the years of abuse andam now free from the messed up woman I was. I will always remember it all but I have forgiven the past and only look to each day and say my gratitude's for this day and send Love, Light, Joy and Healing out to Everyone and Everything in the ALL THAT IS and life has been good thus far. May each and everyone who has experienced the trauma of abuses and there are many, I send The White and Healing Light To Surround You All So You Will Begin to work Through to your Rebirth and Be Healed. You are All The Creator: Make It So. WWLN

cweiters
12-02-2007, 06:41 PM
Ancestral thank you so much for this quote. My best eternal love friend watched her father kill her mother then turned the gun on himself right in her face. After that horrific event, many others followed in her life. I love to hear her say "she is a survivor."

I am a survivor of sexual molestation and if anyone wishes to talk to here or they can pm me anytime. We are stronger then we know and you can survive it too.

Most people associate child abuse with molestation etc. I'm a survivor of spiritual abuse Many of my childhood spiritual experiences I was forced to deny, rationalize, justify or just don't talk about it. What I was going through was taboo or forbidden in my immediate family. As a result created much fear and doubt within me. I am a survivor and I will continue to overcome. I am determined to undo the teaching of bondage from my childhood.

Thank you SpaceMan much love to you.

Love to all
cw

OceanWaves19161
13-02-2007, 07:46 PM
Hey guys. I've never been abuised myself but I have a close friend who was abuised from 4-14. Lately she's admitted that she's addicted to pot but says her suppliers have been cut off. She's taken a bad turn over the past month or so and has very little fight left in her. She says she can't feel anything and doesnt want to be doing anything. Quite frankly she sounds like she's heading down the suicide road. I've had depression before and an eating disorder but this is something I can't really relate to. I was wondering if anyone could advise me on how to help her and support her as best I can? Thanks
Alana:)

Moonflower
13-02-2007, 07:54 PM
My unconditional love goes out to you all.

You are all perfect just the way you are.

Moonflower :angel7: xx

ljepotica
14-02-2007, 01:56 AM
Ancestral and Woman Who Loves Nature-I admire you so much, you both are brilliant examples of people who are amazing-to have gone through what you did and then sorting out all those things that happaned certainly make you both not only survivors but the types of people I look up to and have ultimate respect for:hug3:

What a wonderful idea Space Man:smile:

Cweiters-I can understand where you're coming from-I mean I didn't suffer from spiritual abuse but from other types of "abuses" that were not sexual, physical or mental in nature.

We are all surviviors and we are most certainly not alone and I want to thank you wonderful people for sharing your stories here!

Lots of love and angels blessings to you all:hug2:

S xxxx

Woman Who Loves Nature
22-02-2007, 02:39 AM
Thank You Ijepotica for the wonderful complement. I so admire the people here who have come forward and spoke of their personal experiences of abuse and I know that it is a very hard thing to do. To me talking about these things is the First and Most Important step to Healing and Help. I have found in all the aspects of the Spiritual Forums site that I have seen Much Understanding, Support and Genuine Compassion. I am so GLAD that I found this site and joined it, I feel at home in a Great Big Loving family! Thank You All!!!
Love, Light, Joy and Healing To One and All.:hug: :hug3: :happy4: :icon_colors: WWLN



The First Step to any Success is in Ones Intent and Perseverance and then
what follows Is Movement.
WWLN

anonymomr
22-02-2007, 07:05 AM
I have spent many years remembering and writing about the incidents, the people involved, the decisions I made when facing that situation and what I would like to do about it now.

Mainly, the healing has been in Forgetting, Forgiving and moving on...

An automatic Kundalini arousal hastened this process a lot...more like a roller coaster ride.

hnasc
25-02-2007, 03:12 PM
I had to learn to be intimate again. I went from total suppression to total abandon after my childhood abuse and then, through healing the inner child within me, I got to the point where I began to be clear about what I wanted as a woman, from an intimate relationship.

It was challenging to voice that, and insist on my needs being met, but it was a vital part of my healing. I'm very glad that Ancestral was with a man who did not take her flashbacks personally. That, in itself, must have helped the healing process.

Another thing that I've realized, and that may be very hard for others to accept, is that there are no victims.

I was hurt, terribly, but I've come to know in my adult life that my abuser suffered as much as I did.

Because I understand that I am more than this body, more than the experience of this particular lifetime, I am able to see this experience as one that was co-created at some point. Certainly, I did not create it conscioulsy in this lifetime, but the seeds were laid down at some point for myself and this person to connect.

In my particular case, the abuser was given the opportunity to change a legacy of abuse. He was not strong enough to do that and I suffered greatly as a result but I am empowered by knowing the nobility of my path and the opportunity I provided him.

janspirit
25-02-2007, 03:37 PM
Hi

I was abused sexually, mentally, phyically and emotionaly from age 5 - 16 by my mum's live in boyf. My sis was too (she is 3 yrs younger) and my bro. He passed at 18... We have all made suicide attempts.. but survived that.

Have had counselling and been in survivor group (1999)... didnt remember all of it til i was 40... and then flashbacks came and my body told me in no uncertain terms the truth and horror of it all. Have just come out of an abusive relationship (see myspace) and am going thru a v difficult time at the mo. My spiritual path has always been my life raft and I'm holding on tight..

am hoping soon to be a thriver not just a survivor

lots of love and hugs to u all

janspirit x


http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w88/janspirit/6.jpg

OceanWaves19161
25-02-2007, 07:47 PM
You guys are all so unbelievably strong. Its amazing the strength people have. You should all be really proud of yourselves:)

lemmex
27-02-2007, 04:10 PM
I was wondering if anyone could advise me on how to help her and support her as best I can?

There is no clear cut advise anyone can give about this, but to show unconditional love and when necessary be strong for her. You might even call it interfer. People are dealing with the memory is like living it over again and there's this (invalid) shame. It's something that (usually) takes years and years just to deal with without help. People tend to withdrawl and be self destructive just to deal with it because they blame themselves when they (even) aren't at fault (but they feel they are). Quilt is a terrible motivator. I tell you this because I want you to be prepared. Your freind will have to go trough many levels of forgiveness (and pain). First she must learn to forgive herself (believe it or not), then her abuser. She will have to give herself permission and the first is to free herself and to be honest. She's probably that little girl in an adults body carrying the weight few can imagine. Then it will probably turn to anger, then hate and have to go full circle since she will not (hopefully) abuse herself. The abuse is lashing out turned inward, in others it is projected outward. It is how she is trying to deal with it. This is not an easy road and I know you mean well, but profession help is the safest way, but you can't, I repeat, can't, be judgemental, force her, or patranize her. She's made the first step by confiding in you. It how people test other people. We do this by signals. Talk to her and suggest what's in your heart. Educate yourself and be supportive and if necessary support her. Drive her to her appointment the first time. The difficulty is (from what I sense from what you wrote) and is typically ture she does not love herself, who she is right now (she does not want to be this future person). It's about hope! (which can be both positive or negative) She feels she does not have the right to. She is going to have to learn to trust again. But in the end it is up to her. I hope all goes well.

Woman Who Loves Nature
14-03-2007, 09:25 AM
Janspirit, I am so proud of you and I think you have gone past what I would call that first step. You will realize that you deserve the best in life and will come to know that you will not settle for less because you do not have to ever! It will come and you will know it by the warmth and confidence you will feel in your own heart and then look out world here is the new, strong and deserving the best Janspirit! Trust in yourself, Love yourself, Forgive Yourself! For as it took me so long to realize and believe... "It Was Not My Fault, I Was the Innocent, I Was the Child and I Was taken advantage of and I No Longer Feel or Hold the self-guilt. The guilt I held was never mine to carry or accept. I Am Now and Forever Will Be Released from This Burden" It was at the age of 44 when I reached this realization and how I wished it had been much sooner. I am grateful that I found my strength and freedom from the nightmare I lived in all that time. As you will too I am sure! I send Prayers of Healing to you Janspirit and to all whom have experienced these horrendous acts against us as children and as young adults, which in turn has affected most of us into our adult lives. I send Prayers of Healing daily. I, through Professional help over several years, finally found that part of me that was lost, hated, ashamed, and believed guilty only to find I was none of those things ever! I was the Victim, I was the Innocent, and did not deserve the abuse and I will No Longer Hold Any Guilt that was never mine. I will no longer be ashamed for I did nothing to be ashamed of. I have found my inner Strength and my Spirituality and I Trust in myself and I Love Who I Am now. And...what was the most difficult for me...but was a miracle experience, when I felt the forgiveness not only for myself but also my attackers. Something I didn't believe could ever happen. That was 10 years ago and that once said and felt, released me to be the person who I am today. I strive to live a loving, caring, compassionate life and always trusting in myself to know I am deserving of the good in life. I am Bonnie Masson and I am Woman Who Loves Nature.

Philip
14-03-2007, 02:28 PM
Reunite us in oneness with you in response to our allowing those who have lent us aid in our reunificaton process to come to their own reunification. Jesus said this as "Forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive those who trepass against us.". While it is all about me it can never be about one. It is in seeing the ordinariness of the one/s who have "abused" us that we leave the place of seperation and rejoin the wholeness that is Love/Life.

The peace of oneness will refresh you in Body, Mind, and Spirit.

nibbles
14-03-2007, 03:44 PM
hello all,

I am here to share. I am 34 years old, I have three beautiful boys and I am in the slow agonising process of either saving or letting do my marraige. I have always felt different. I was told often not to be so soft, that I was way to sensitive to tkae a joke. Anyways I have been through so much especially in the last 8 years. That I have now turned inward stasrted to ask very valid questions. As to why I react sometimes.

I think I may have been sexually abused as a child I say think as the memories only surface every now and then especially when I am feeling hurt or humiliated little snachets...like a cine film being played beneath eye lids.....but there not very tangible.

I know I have to seek professional advice but I ahve had a bad expierence with counselling....maybe I wasn't ready...

Anyways love and light to you all you are all brave brave individuals

janspirit
14-03-2007, 05:13 PM
dear WWLN,

thank u so much i can feel the strength in ur words and the truth in ur soul from ur post and ur spirit...

I will get there, currently recovering from a broken abusive relatinship - just swept out of my life (see my blog)... and it is an exciting time for me, tho also am grieving that loss (even though he was a bully and abuser, some times he was nice to me and I DID love him once... I think now tho he never really loved me - not unconditionally if u know what i mean)..

I am strong inside and I have had counselling in the past (not the best) and was in an adult survivors group... but u know, in the end, u only have urself when u switch out the lights, and u end up doing ur own healing - that's the real work ... I have healed a lot from the abuse and I have forgiven the person who abused me. I realise he must've been abused too in his life. He is gone to spirit now. Once in a meditation circle he came thru someone else to speak to me and I couldn't do it at that time. But since then I have forgiven him.

I have gone thru all the stages of denial, anger, loss and grief, and finally, acceptance about my childhood - in stages... and to a degree am doing it again now, becos of what has happened with my ex (unbelievably he abused 2 boys we used to care for and was arrested and charged with that last October. he is pleading not guilty and will have a trial next October 15th... I think he is in complete denial and may see the light and change his plea... anyway I am going to start divorce proceedings in the meantime)...

So what's hapening now is bringing up all those childhood traumas and I am holding the little girl inside me so close to my heart and loving her and keeping her safe... some parts i've not been able to rescue... but most of her i have got back.. I am seeing a v good counsellor now and lots of people are sending me healing which is helping me so much.

I repressed it all my life till i was 40 tho the depression was always there and I didn't know why... my body started to tell me in signs and symptoms, plus the nightmares I'd had for years... then I woke up and remembered being raped age 9 and started to have panic attacks and flashbacks... thats when i finally reached out for help.

Every day i am feeling stronger and was told last week the police don't need me as a witness. But my sis and I are going to the trial. It will be good closure. I love those 2 boys like my own. Have never been fortunate to have kids of my own.

I will make it.. I believe I will... and thank u again for ur support and kind strong words, it means a lot.

By the way, if anyone wants a good survivors group online this is one :

http://abuse-survivors.org.uk/forums/index.php

A small group of v supportive people there and a good place to seek help and resources, and just read the posts or post stuff if u r up to it...

Love and light to all

jan xxx:hug3:

Justice will Prevail,

http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w88/janspirit/legends2.jpg

janspirit
14-03-2007, 05:24 PM
hello all,

I am here to share. I am 34 years old, I have three beautiful boys and I am in the slow agonising process of either saving or letting do my marraige. I have always felt different. I was told often not to be so soft, that I was way to sensitive to tkae a joke. Anyways I have been through so much especially in the last 8 years. That I have now turned inward stasrted to ask very valid questions. As to why I react sometimes.

I think I may have been sexually abused as a child I say think as the memories only surface every now and then especially when I am feeling hurt or humiliated little snachets...like a cine film being played beneath eye lids.....but there not very tangible.

I know I have to seek professional advice but I ahve had a bad expierence with counselling....maybe I wasn't ready...

Anyways love and light to you all you are all brave brave individuals


Dear Nibbles :hug:

If u think u were abused, then u most likely were... The Courage to Heal by Laura M Bass is a v good book that became my bible when I first started remembering stuff.. i'm sure it would be of help to u. Waterstones sell it or u can buy it on Amazon.com. This website is good for survivors too:

http://abuse-survivors.org.uk/forums/index.php

A very supportive group of people on there... U have been thru so much, my heart goes out to u... One thing with counselling is u need to find the right one for u. If the doctor send u to one and u don't feel right, ask to see someone else - when the time is right u will know what u need and want to do. A lot more is known about abuse now and I think because of this the counsellors are geting better. the one i have is v v suportive. u can also ask for which gender u prefer.

U r very brave too, because u r making those first baby steps, even to think it may have happened to u...

Going thru a break up is tough too. there's a book called Too Good to Leave, Too bad to Stay... I read that once a few years back (shouldve left the LOL)...

U take good care of urself and it's a pleasure to know u,

love and light

Janspirit xxxx :hug3:

http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w88/janspirit/Courage-Does-Not-Always-Roar---Mary.jpg

nibbles
14-03-2007, 06:41 PM
Thank you for your support and belief jan. I will do some research on the book front. I have read your pers. blog. I know it must have been traumatic to remember esp. at the age of 40 but it gives me a glimmer of hope that I am not mad. That something very very bad has happened to me. It's just in snapshots i keep getting but they are all over the place. I am going to try really hard to actually ring to actually dial a number for help. It's just so bloody hard.....I would like to not have to do this....but that's not going to happen is it.......as I am stuck.........:icon_frown: :icon_frown: :icon_frown:

janspirit
15-03-2007, 01:11 AM
Hi Nibbles

I know ur feeling stuck right now between a rock and a hard place, like, but u know what... u can do it... just pick up that phone - or go see ur doctor and talk about how u r feeling and finding it hard to cope with everything...

I am sending healing prayers for u tonight, my friend, bless u

Courage isn't freedom from fear,
it's being afraid...
and doing it anyway...

love peace light and sweet dreams
to u

Jan xoxxo:hug: :hug3:

Woman Who Loves Nature
15-03-2007, 08:52 AM
Janspirit and Nibbles, Bravo to you both! This is the time we all must bring up the past and by that I mean,.. Is everyone in this lifetime so that we may all sift it through and process it out so we can be open and free of the heavy and negative energies in order to go through the shift to higher consciousness, so I believe that all these past traumas are being brought forward so that we must process and leave them behind in order to go forward to Better Things. So both of you as well as so many others are experiencing the opportunity to do just what you are doing in your dealing with and putting behind you the negative and entering the positive. So once again" Bravo!" You are Both Strong in Spirit and You already know that you will prevail. Janspirit I checked out the support site you put up. It is very informative and sounds Very connected and sounds to be of great help to any and all who wish to join it. Also know, Anytime that you would care to chat please feel free to let me know I will be there for you and anyone else out there. Love, Light, Joy and Healing To You All WWLN

janspirit
28-03-2007, 11:51 AM
For Children Who Were Broken
by Elia Wise

For Children Who Were Broken
it is very hard to mend......
Our pain was rarely spoken
and we hid the truth from friends.
Our parents said they loved us,
but they didn't act that way.
They broke our hearts
and stole our worth,
with the things that they would say.
We wanted them to love us.
We didn't know what we did
to make them yell at us
and hit us,
and wish we weren't their kid.

They'd beat us up and scream at us
and blame us for their lives.
Then they'd hold us close inside their arms
and tell us confusing lies
of how they really loved us --
even though we were BAD,
and how it was OUR fault they hit us,
OUR fault that they were mad.
When days were just beginning
we sometimes prayed for them to end,
and when the pain kept coming,
we learned to just pretend
that we were good
and so were they
and this was just
on of those days ...
tomorrow we'd be friends.

We had to believe it so.
We had nowhere else to go.
Each day that we pretended,
we replaced reality
with lies, or dreams,
or angry schemes,
in search of dignity ....
until our lies
got bigger than the truth,
and we had no one real to be
Our bodies were forsaken.
With no safe place to hide,
we learned to stop
hearing and feeling what they did to our outsides.
We tried to make them love us,
till we hated ourselves instead,
and couldn't see a way out,
and wished that they were dead.
We scared ourselves by thinking that,
and scared ourselves to know,
that we were acting just like them --
and might ever more be so.
To be half the size of a grown-up
and trapped inside their pain....
To every day lose everything
with no savior or refrain...
To wonder how it is possible
that God could so forget
the worthy child you knew you were,
when you had not been damaged yet ...
To figure on your fingers
that the years till you'd be grown
enough to leave the torment
and survive away from home,
were more than you could count to,
or more than you could bear,
was the reality we lived in
and we knew it wasn't fair.

We who grew up broken
are somewhat out of time,
struggling to mend our childhood,
when our peers are in their prime.
Where others find love
and contentment,
we still often have to strive
to remember we are worthy,
and heroes just to be alive.
Some of us are healing.
some are stealing.
Most are passing the anger on.
Some give their lives away to drugs,
or the promise of like beyond.
Some still hide from society.
Some struggle to belong.
But all of us are wishing
the past would not hold on
so long.

There's a lot of digging down to do
to find the child within,
to love away the ugly pain
and feel innocence again.
There is forgiveness
worthy of angel's wings
for remembering those at all,
who abused our sacred childhood
and programmed us to fall.
To seek to understand them,
and how their pain became our own,
is to risk the ground we stand on
to climb the mountain home.

The journey is not so lonely
as in the past it s been ...
More of us are strong enough
to let the growth begin.
But while we're trekking
up the mountain
we need everything we've got,
to face the adults we have become,
and all that we are not.
So when you see us weary
from the day's internal climb ...
When we find fault
with your best efforts,
or treat imperfection
as purposeful crime ...
When you see our quick defenses,
our efforts to control,
our readiness to form a plan
of unrealistic goals ...
When we run into a conflict
and fight to the bitter end,
remember ...
We think that winning means
we won't be hurt again.

When we abandon OUR thoughts
and feelings,
to be what we believe YOU
want us to,
or look at trouble we re having,
and want to blame it all on you...
When life calls for new beginnings,
and we fear they re doomed to end,
remember...
Wounded trust is like a wounded knee--
It is very hard to bend.
Please remember this
when we are out of sorts.
Tell us the truth, and be our friend.
For children who were broken...
it is very hard to mend.

--------------------
Not All Scars Show
Not All Wounds Heal
You Can't Always See
The Pain Someone Feels

nibbles
29-03-2007, 03:06 PM
oh my goodness me. Such a moving,sad, very real, truthful poem. Thank you for sharing. It did hurt to read but I also got 'aaaaaaaah i'm not mad' thanks...yet again:hug2:

Maranda
30-03-2007, 03:11 AM
I would also like to offer my help and advice on the topic of this thread.

Woman Who Loves Nature
06-04-2007, 07:59 AM
janspirit, Thank You for posting the Children Who Were Broken poem, I have it and have sent it to others and it rings so true. Again Thank You!!! WWLN

Maranda
06-04-2007, 01:54 PM
Survived a tough childhood, struggled to survive the fallout in my twenties, ran the gauntlet of depression and feeling suicidal, created tools in order to survive marital and parental pressures, tools I am pleased to share, tools that consist of relaxation, meditation and the use of affirmations, quotes and one-liners, poetry, and cyber friends… Just let me know if you think I may have anything that might help you, too.

hnasc
12-04-2007, 03:19 PM
For Children Who Were Broken

by Elia Wise



Elia: What an incredibly accurate and touching poem.

You have captured the essence of what my own journey with
abuse has been, as well as many of the people I've counseled
over the years. This poem is a marvel and so must you be as well.

Thank you for sharing it.

lightworker
22-04-2007, 01:05 AM
OceanWaves,
I was sexually abused by my grandfather from the age of 7 to 14. I too was a pretty messed up woman up until the age of 28. My life got to the suicide point and i too felt nothing, so my husband made me go to counselling and it made so much difference. My counsellor made me see things in a different way, & i look at the whole thing differently. I feel i am now whole. Try and talk her into counsellling, it gave me my life back :o)

hnasc
22-04-2007, 02:19 AM
There was a specific time in my own healing
where counseling was a major impact.

However, I had to go through a couple of
counselors before I found one with the
right level of empathy and respect.

It's vital that you feel safe in the counseling
position, or it may feel like another violation.

It's worth consulting with more than one
counselor, to find the one that feels right
to you on all levels.

However, I had my deepest healing with
groups who had been through what I'd been
through and with energetic healers who knew
how to work with cellular memory and suppressed
emotions.

Blessings, Neva

Emmalevine
22-04-2007, 12:29 PM
Sending healing hugs to all of you :hug3:

I wasn't sexually abused but I was emotionally abused, and grew up in a violent, insecure home where emotions were not expressed. I was not seen as a person in my own right, worthy of feelings or being told anything. I had several years of counselling from a totally amazing counsellor who worked at my university. I carried on seeing her for a year after I finished uni, and then again when I briefly did a teaching course 2 years on. I really can't credit her enough, and I don't know where I would be without her. I strongly believe I was meant to meet her. I agree that you have to find the counsellor that's right for you. I saw a counsellor a few months at sixth form prior to uni, and then a counsellor for a couple of sessions some years after uni, but I didn't click with them like I did with my long term counsellor. I finished seeing her in 2005 but even now I still send her occasional letters and she writes back when she can.

I was very depressed for a while, and felt very suicidal in my late teens while I tried to come to terms with how my childhood had been. It was a very dark period for me and I don't think I've ever felt so alone in the world. Now I try to accept that it all happened for a reason, as my beliefs are that things happen so that our souls can grow and know true happiness with the Divine. Everyone is on their own path, but for reasons that might be unknown to us on this plane, some people go through challenging stuff in order to grow. I'm definitely haven't completely come to terms with my past, as there is a lot of pain about things that happened, but my spiritual path is showing me the way forward.

I hope that people who have been through a hard childhood will find comfort and healing through their spiritual paths :hug2:

Jols
22-04-2007, 02:46 PM
I was sexually abused at the age of 4 by my then, 16 year old step-brother. My mum and I moved into my step-dad's house when I was 3. My two step-brothers did not want a new sibling nor a new mother. They were still wanting their biological mom to move back in (she had left them, I'm not sure of the time-frame, but probably a year before or so.)
My oldest step-brother thought if he sexually molested me that it would end up driving my mum and I out.
It happened (as far as I can remember) only on two occasions. The one time it happened my mum was in the house. My step-brother had lured me into the storm-cellar outside. Wouldn't let me out until I did what he told me to do.
I KNEW the whole situation was wrong, but was afraid to yell, etc. because he told me (and I believed him, at 4 you think very literally) that my mum would be very angry with me.
I never talked to a counsellor, I never really wanted to. My mum thought about it, but she left it up to me.
See, she didn't press charges against my step-brother, she did bring in some in-home counsellors but it didn't really do much. My step-dad didn't want any part of it, and my step-brothers mom thought we were just 'playing'
I have tho, gotten rid of my emotional garbage and issues with it, and continue to work on it here and there because the situation did give me some emotional damage. Any time I start getting down, I have to look and see 'why' and it if goes back to what my step-brother did, I toss out my feelings about the situations and throw them out.
I was also in a mentally abusive relationship with my first ex boyfriend, and he also sexually assulted me. I handled that situation badly, because I had become a 'victim' again and did not want to tell my mum because I was ashamed.
Eventually I did have to tell her due to him terrorizing me in school.
I handled the situation very much like what I did with my step-brother.
Not so long ago, right before I moved to South Carolina from Iowa, he contacted me on MSN. Most times when I came into contact with him in any form, I just avoided it. His aura is one I can't stand to be near, and I really had nothing to say to him. This time, I stood my ground and told him what was what. I told him I did not want nor need his friendship to move on in my life, etc.
And it felt GREAT! I finally felt like I got rid of those demons, and felt a ton of weight off my chest. He has not contacted me since. :)

Moonflower
23-04-2007, 06:44 AM
Hi Everyone not dismissing you all as individuals:hug:

Thank you for sharing your experiences may I suggest that alongside any councelling & the coping mechanisms that you all so bravely put in place that you may have received & that may or may not have worked..

Natural healing or Reiki healing by a Master healer is very powerful many of you may still be holding onto the negative feelings associated with your abuse at all levels physical or emotional.

All healing has intelligence it not directed from us as healers we are merely channels it goes first & foremost absolutely where it is needed so wherever your most important point of need that is where it goes in the first instance. I would suggest a few sessions say 3 close together during one week & then at weekly intervals for a while & then a regular session whenever you feel the need.

All you need to be is open to recieve & healings are the most wonderful experience you will be amazed at what you experience :wink: .

I will send you all distant healing.

Love, light & blessings Moonflower x

Emmalevine
23-04-2007, 01:59 PM
That's really kind of you Moonflower:hug2:

I agree that healing is wonderful. I'm attuned to reiki level one and I use it on myself most days, although I have to admit I prefer going to see a healer as I find it so much more relaxing when someone else does it!

Just a quick question if that's ok - when I use reiki on myself Ioften end up with stomach pains when I put my hands on my naval which seem to go right through to my back. I do get stomach problems fairly often so I wondered if the healing was drawing it out?

Moonflower
23-04-2007, 05:15 PM
Hi Starbuck :smile:

Yes it will be the pain being dealt with but you can often feel it in your hands as it passes through with the healing. Whether it is a self healing or on a client but you must after a session of healing shake it or pull it away from you & I chose to pull it away & throw it up into the ether this is your way of not keeping it & letting it go to the universe.

For specific treatment of areas that relate to the digestive system you need to treat these areas 1. the forehead 2. the temples, 3. back of your head, 4. on the head, 5. beneath the sternum & 5. the stomach & intestines.

I often do self treatments but I also prefer to go to a lady that I know who is a Reiki Master when i am there it is my time & I am not considering what else i could be doing lol.

Well done for taking the first step to becoming Reiki attuned the more you work with yourself & others the more you will become aware the more your energy will be amplified.

I hope this is of some help to you Starbuck do not hesitate to ask if you need any more help.

Love, light & blessings Moonflower :hug3: x

That's really kind of you Moonflower:hug2:

I agree that healing is wonderful. I'm attuned to reiki level one and I use it on myself most days, although I have to admit I prefer going to see a healer as I find it so much more relaxing when someone else does it!

Just a quick question if that's ok - when I use reiki on myself Ioften end up with stomach pains when I put my hands on my naval which seem to go right through to my back. I do get stomach problems fairly often so I wondered if the healing was drawing it out?

Emmalevine
23-04-2007, 08:28 PM
Hi Moonflower,

Thanks for your help. What you said about passing the energy off to the universe after a treatment makes a lot of sense as I've just realised that my reiki healer does that, but I hadn't known what she was doing. After giving me a treatment she would brush her hands off into the air, but I just thought it was one of her ways and didn't really think about it. I will definitely start doing that. I think I do all the reiki positions you mentioned as I follow a reiki guide that i bought a while back, which describes the different hand positions. The only time I don't do them all is when I'm feeling very weak or unwell (as I have a chronic illness) and then I just rest my hands on my stomach and ask the reiki to go where it's needed. I do find it more beneficial when I do all the hand positions though, and I've often got rid of a headache by doing the various hand positions around my head. Even if nothing else it's incredibly relaxing and I often end up falling asleep!

I also like doing reiki positions that balance the chakras, and in fact it's become such a habit that I often fall asleep with one hand just below my chest and the other on my stomach. It's very relaxing. Reiki is such a lovely treatment.

Thanks again for your help, and if I think of anything else I'll know who to ask!

Moonflower
23-04-2007, 09:20 PM
Your very welcome Starbuck I too go to sleep at night with Reiki..

Evolve Starbuck x

hnasc
12-05-2007, 04:41 PM
Natural healing or Reiki healing by a Master healer is very powerful many of you may still be holding onto the negative feelings associated with your abuse at all levels physical or emotional.



Reiki, and other forms of alternative healing such as polarity therapy and craniosacral therapy as well as intuitive massage (massage from a healing facilitator who understands the connection between physical release work and cellular release work) have all been vital parts of my own healing process.

Rebirthing and Integrative Breathwork have also been very valuabe to me, personally, as instruments for healing past trauma, reclaiming original essence and healing body, mind and Spirit.

hnasc
13-05-2007, 07:06 PM
Don't worry. Your posts have been deleted.

I certainly understand your feelings.

Just remember that you are not alone and others who have healed their inner child can be significant support.

James2612
13-05-2007, 08:23 PM
Thnaks hnasc

Kapitan_Prien
16-10-2010, 04:37 PM
(I copied and pasted a whole ton of info. but it didn't come up?)

Kapitan_Prien
16-10-2010, 04:40 PM
Please keep in mind that I've moved on from this but sharing the info. to possibly help others:

Childhood abuse - Chakra article:

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Schneider10.html

Kapitan_Prien
16-10-2010, 04:41 PM
Essences for Trauma Healing

Alaskan




Cotton Grass - Eriophorum sp.



Indications: shock and trauma resulting from an accident or injury of any kind; fixating on one's discomfort rather than on the healing process; unable to completely heal an old injury because of a lack of awareness of what led to its creation.




Healing Qualities: helps a person come to an understanding of the core issues that led to an accident or injury so that they can release the physical, emotional, and mental trauma associated with it.




Fireweed - Epilobium angustifolium

Indications: shock or trauma; energy stagnation on any level; feeling burned out; weak connection to the earth.




Healing Qualities: strengthens the grounding connection to the earth; helps break up and move out old energy patterns that are being held in the etheric body so that new cycles of revitalization and renewal can be initiated.




Green Bog Orchid - Platanthera obtusata

Indications: sensitivity to the self and others blocked by pain and fear held deep in the heart; lack of trust in one's deeper motivations; difficulty communicating from the heart.




Healing Qualities: stimulates the gentle release of pain and fear from deep levels of the heart; expands awareness of one's inner nature; supports the development of a heart connection with others and with the nature kingdoms.




Hairy Butterwort - Pinguicula villosa

Indications: unable to acknowledge or trust in higher guidance and support, especially when confronted with a challenging situation or life lesson; lack of awareness of the core issues that need to be addressed in order to resolve a situation.




Healing Qualities: helps us consciously access the support and guidance we need in order to move through transition, conflict, or difficulty with ease, grace, and deep understanding, and without the creation of crisis or illness.




Labrador Tea - Ledum palustre

Indications: addictions; attempting to balance one extreme with another; extreme imbalance in any area of life; difficulty coming back to center after a traumatic or unsettling experience.




Healing Qualities: centers energy-in the body-in the moment; relieves stress associated with the experience of extremes; helps us continually learn a new perspective of balance.




Ladies' Tresses - Spiranthes romanzoffiana

Indications: lack of awareness of the connection between our life lessons and our life purpose; difficulty reconnecting with the body after a serious injury or traumatic experience.




Healing Qualities: promotes deep internal realignment with life purpose through the release of trauma held at the cellular level; helps us reconnect energetically with parts of the body that have been injured or traumatized.




Mountain Wormwood - Artemisia tilesii

Indications: unresolved anger and resentment; cannot easily forgive the self or others for past actions regardless of the intent behind them.




Healing Qualities: stimulates the healing of old wounds and the release of resentment; supports us in surrendering unforgiven areas within ourselves and in our relationships with others.




Northern Lady's Slipper - Cypripedium passerinum

Indications: weak body/soul connection; traumatic birth experience; pain and trauma held very deeply in the body.




Healing Qualities: nurturing energy for the healing of core traumas and wounds that are being held very deeply in the body; helps us allow our beings to be touched and healed by infinite gentleness.




River Beauty - Epilobium latifolium

Indications: emotional devastation; overwhelmed by grief, sadness, or a sense of loss; shock and trauma from emotional or sexual abuse.




Healing Qualities: an essence of emotional recovery, reorientation and regeneration; helps us start over after emotionally devastating experiences; empowers us to use adverse circumstances as incentive for cleansing and growth.




Sweetgale - Myrica gale

Indications: emotional energies blocked in lower chakras; emotional communication with others is defensive, lacking clarity, and is characterized by conflict, blame, and the assignment of guilt.




Healing Qualities: helps us identify and release deep emotional pain and tension that undermines the quality of our communication and interactions with others, especially in male/female relationships.




Tundra Twayblade - Listera cordata

Indications: deep pain and anguish resulting from wounds suffered in the past; heart closed in an attempt to avoid feeling the pain that is stored there.




Healing Qualities: opens the heart to allow unconditional love complete access to areas of the body that are in need of healing; supports the clearing of trauma held at the cellular level of the body.




White Fireweed - Epilobium angustifolium

Indications: deep emotional shock and trauma; profound alienation from the body after an experience of sexual or emotional abuse.




Healing Qualities: calms the emotional body after a traumatic or shocking experience; helps us release the imprint of painful emotional experiences from the cellular memory so that rejuvenation can begin.




FES essences




Arnica



Positive qualities:

Conscious embodiment, especially during shock or trauma; recovery from deep-seated shock or trauma.


Patterns of imbalance:

Disconnection of Higher Self from body during shock or trauma; disassociation, unconsciousness.




Arnica flower essence helps to heal deep-seated shock or trauma which may become locked into the body and prevent full healing recovery. Especially during accidents or violent experiences, the Higher Self or soul disassociates from its physical vehicle, and may never properly re-enter certain parts of the body despite seeming recovery.




This remedy can be especially helpful for unlocking many puzzling or psychosomatic illnesses, which do not respond to obvious treatment. When Arnica is used for such cases, the soul will often relive or re-experience the emotional trauma which accompanied the original experience. In this way the soul is finally able to integrate the experience and to fully inhabit the part of the body which suffers.




Arnica flower essence can also be used on a short-term first-aid basis to allow rapid recovery from trauma. It especially helps the soul attain greater awareness of the parts of the psyche or body which may be under-utilized in the individual’s full expression of Self.




Echinacea



Positive qualities:

Core integrity, contacting and maintaining an integrated sense of Self, especially when severely challenged.


Patterns of imbalance:

Feeling shattered by severe trauma or abuse which has destroyed one's sense of Self; threatened by physical or emotional disintegration.




One of the most important initiations in the contemporary life of the soul is that of coming into right relationship to the Self, or spiritual ego. While inflation of the ego can be a formidable problem, there are equally devastating assaults to the positive spiritual identity of the human being. Until recent times, family, community, and Nature have provided the context for a certain kind of self-identity.




But the increasing anonymity of modern civilization, along with countless other mechanizing and alienating forces, leaves many souls bereft of earthly or human nourishment. More importantly, acts of crime, violence, and sexual or emotional degradation, often beginning even in early childhood, shatter the dignity of the Self. Many souls live a phantom-like existence, seeming to have a functioning persona when in fact only a meager connection to the true spiritual Self exists.




This is one of the underlying reasons, at the level of the soul reality, for the vast outbreak of immune-related diseases. Echinacea flower essence stimulates and awakens the true inner Self. This is a fundamental remedy for many soul and physical illnesses, especially when the individual has experienced shattering and destructive forces. Echinacea restores the soul’s true self-identity and essential dignity, inrelationship to the Earth and to the human family.




Fuchsia



Positive qualities:

Genuine emotional vitality, ability to express deep feelings.


Patterns of imbalance:

False states of emotionality which cover more deeply-seated pain and trauma; psychosomatic symptoms.




The soul can be trapped and hindered in its progress through suppression and denial of core emotions. The individual needing Fuchsia tends to mask true feelings with various states of hyper-emotionality or psychosomatic symptoms.




Such persons cry easily and have myriad physical complaints such as headaches or stomachaches. This false emotionality or suffering acts as a foil or cover for the deeper emotions which appear too powerful and overwhelming for the psyche to integrate. The soul longs to express feelings, but hopes it can do so without taking the “plunge” into more awesome and painful emotions.




Fuchsia flower essence helps such an individual towards emotional catharsis, so that the feeling life becomes more genuine, and conveys greater depth and presence. Emotions such as grief, deep-seated anger, or rejection can be encountered and effectively transformed through Fuchsia. The individual learns how to recognize pain and other strong feelings more immediately, thus freeing the soul life to become emotionally authentic and vital.




Golden Ear Drops



Positive qualities:

Contacting one's childhood experience as a source of emotional well-being; releasing painful memories from the past.


Patterns of imbalance:

Suppressed toxic memories of childhood; feelings of pain and trauma about past events which affect present emotional balance.




Emotional amnesia is a survival mechanism for the soul, especially during childhood, or any period of life when the individual is vulnerable to exploitation or abuse. This unconscious residue of traumatic memories must eventually be encountered with more awareness, or else it works like a toxic poison which corrodes the present emotional life.



Golden Ear Drop helps the soul to remember and feel unpleasant or painful episodes. This essence is an especially powerful cleanser of the heart, and may stimulate tears as a form of emotional discharge. Once the individual experiences this cleansing process, there is also the ability to contact the positive aspects of the past. This is especially true regarding the events of one’s childhood-when the personality suppresses painful aspects of the childhood experience, connection with the archetypal child as a source of positive spirituality is also severed.




Golden Ear Drop flower essence helps the soul to remember and reclaim this past, so that it becomes a source of strength, wisdom, and insight.




Love Lies Bleeding



Positive qualities:

Transcendent consciousness; ability to move beyond personal pain, suffering or mental anguish by finding larger, transpersonal meaning in such suffering; compassionate awareness of and attention to the meaning of suffering.


Patterns of imbalance:

Intensification of pain and suffering due to isolation; profound melancholia due to the over-personalization of one's pain.




Love-Lies-Bleeding flower essence enables the soul to encounter and to transmute pain and suffering. Such pain is felt in an intense manner, either as mental anguish, deep-seated bodily torment, or disease. While such suffering usually has a physical component, the experience of agony is also deep within the soul itself.




The effect of such torment is to push the consciousness deeply inward; such a person is truly deep-pressed, or in the throes of depression. Love-Lies-Bleeding des not play the role of an analgesic; it does not provide direct relief from such distress. It helps by moving the soul consciousness outward from over-personal identification and isolation, to transpersonal awareness of the meaning and purpose of such an experience.




This energetic shift can often be expressed directly in the physical body, in the cessation of symptoms of pain or as a general stimulus to the immune system. However, more typically the individual is able to experience physical and mental suffering differently, within the context of a larger shared human experience. For example, one suffering from a personal illness, a particular handicap, or addiction may be impelled to reach out to others who suffer similarly.




The deepest teaching of Love-Lies-Bleeding is centered around the meaning of compassion and sacrifice. This realization within the soul is often called “Christ consciousness”-the capacity to suffer or to “bleed” not for ourselves but for all of humanity and for the redemption of the Earth itself. The ability to understand that one’s own pain is part of a larger, deeper experience of the human conditions is the key to being able to truly experience love and compassion for all living beings.




Oregon Grape



Positive qualities:

Loving inclusion of others, positive expectation of good will from others, ability to trust.


Patterns of imbalance:

Feeling paranoid or self-protective; unfair projection or expectation of hostility from others.




To trust the goodness in others is to be nourished by the milk of human kindness.


Regrettably, many souls are malnourished; they are unable to receive the sustaining love of others. Oregon Grape flower essence is indicated for those persons who are filled with paranoia; they see the world and those around them as hostile and unfair.




These patterns were learned in childhood from the family or culture, and have not been healed; instead they fester in the soul and go on to infect all human relationships and social situations. Unfortunately, the soul who is gripped by this paranoid state creates the very hostile or mistrustful manner usually respond with an equal measure in return.




Oregon Grape flower essence is widely applicable, but is especially indicated for the tension and ill-will which predominates in many urban environments. Through Oregon Grape the soul learns to break the basic pattern of mistrust. It realizes that it can look instead for the positive intentions of others, and create situations which generate good will and loving inclusion.




Pink Monkeyflower



Positive qualities:

Emotional openness and honesty; courage to take emotional risks with others.


Patterns of imbalance:

Feelings of shame, guilt, unworthiness; fear of exposure and rejection, hiding essential Self from others, masking one's feelings.




Pink Monkeyflower treats a type of fear which reside in the deepest recesses of the soul: the fear of being exposed, of others seeing one’s pain and vulnerability. Such persons experience a profound sense of shame, and thus have a need to hide or mask themselves as a form of protection.




The Pink Monkeyflower remedy type withdraws in a way that is more pronounced than ordinary shyness, for the soul is attempting to cover deeply internalized wounds from the past. Most frequently, early childhood trauma or abuse-or exploitative and debasing experiences at any phase of life-are the hidden factors of behavior. These souls are highly sensitive and bear deep pain within themselves. They very much want to reach out and be loved by others, but often fail at making real contact. Such individuals are highly sensitive to being seen, both literally and metaphorically. They are also very vulnerable to being touched and making physical contact with others.




Pink Monkeyflower gently opens such souls by helping them to take emotional risks again. In this way, they begin to experience the love and the contact which they so desperately need and want. Pink Monkeyflower is a remedy which is especially effective for the heart, teaching that it is only by remaining open and risking-vulnerability that one can experience the warmth of human love and affection.




Poison Oak



Positive qualities:

Emotional openness and vulnerability, ability to be close and make contact with others.


Patterns of imbalance:

Fear of intimate contact, protective of personal boundaries; fear of being violated; hostile or distant.




Many souls have difficulty coping with softer, more vulnerable feelings. This can be especially true for men, who are culturally influenced to display little intimacy or emotion. Those who need Poison oak actually have within themselves very deep sensitivity, and can feel quite insecure about their personal boundaries. They fear that if they are too open or too intimate with others, their personal defenses will be violated.




Such persons, however, rarely show their vulnerability and sensitivity, for they learn to cope by projecting an overly tough, Mars-like exterior. They erect negative barriers between themselves and others by showing hostility, anger, and irritability, thus keeping a “safe” emotional distance. At the deepest level, such persons are afraid of the inner feminine or of being engulfed by feminine values. This attitude can sometimes extend to feelings about Nature, so that the individual develops a relationship with Nature only through sports or activities that conquer the elements.




Poison Oak flower essence teaches such souls to open gently by learning to identify and accept the softer side of themselves. In doing so, the soul creates boundaries that are inclusive rather than exclusive, learning that the essential strength of the Self also includes the most sensitive and gentle aspects.




Self Heal



This remarkable flower essence has been one of the leading remedies of the FES Quintessentials line of flower essences for over twenty years. Self-Heal flower essence addresses the core issue in all healing work - the inner commitment to be well.




Self-Heal is an excellent choice for beginning your personal wellness program. It enhances other flower essences and therapeutic programs, acting as a catalyst in the journey to mind-body health. Self-Heal flower essence is especially indicated for those who have lost belief in their own capacity to be well, or who have abdicated this inherent responsibility to healers or others. It is a very beneficial remedy for those who face great healing challenges, whether physical, mental, or spiritual.




The central teaching of Self-Heal is to enable the Self to affirm and to draw from the deep wellspring of life, toward true recovery and restoration. The name "Self-Heal" is perhaps its own best affirmation, since all healing depends on an inner commitment to be well. No variety of outer measures and techniques can bring about healing (physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual), if there is not a quickening from within the individual, a motivation to seek and affirm the wholeness of life.


Bach




Agrimony



Positive qualities:

Emotional honesty, acknowledging and working with emotional pain, obtaining true inner peace.


Patterns of imbalance:

Anxiety hidden by a mask of cheerfulness; denial and avoidance of emotional pain, addictive behavior to anesthetize feelings.




The Agrimony flower essence personality appears happy, enthusiastic, popular and seemingly at peace with the world. However, if one is able to know such a person on a deeper level, it becomes clear that something is deeply troubling the soul. At the heart of such suffering is a secret torment that is hidden, not only from others, but most importantly from the Self. There may be a strong attraction to drugs, particularly alcohol, in order to maintain the mask of cheerfulness.




Such persons have often been raised with strict social conventions of politeness or repression, and find it difficult to show or admit vulnerability or pain. This conditioning is particularly strong in men who have been taught that it is unmanly to show feelings. Another variation of this attitude appears among those on a spiritual path who try to emulate a state of bliss by denying or repressing troubling emotions. The Agrimony flower essence person needs to find peace as an inner soul reality, rather than an outside state of behavior which others need to validate. it is thier lesson that true inner peace comes from honestly acknowledging pain and transforming it, rather than masking it with a superficial veneer of good cheer or polite tolerance. Such is the lesson of Agrimony flower essence.




Pine



Positive qualities:

Self-acceptance, self-forgiveness; freedom from inappropriate guilt and blame.

Patterns of imbalance:

Guilt, self-blame, self-criticism, inability to accept oneself.




Objective knowledge of one’s faults is an important soul virtue; when taken to an extreme, however, one can be wracked with undue guilt and misery. Those who need Pine flower essence get stuck in self-blame.




At times a real circumstance form the past may result in deep feelings of regret and remorse; however the Pine type often feels guilt which is entirely disproportionate to the actual events. These feelings may arise from childhoods, when the person learned to internalize blame for dysfunction in the family system, or they may stem from a religious background which emphasizes sin and error more than salvation and grace.




Pine flower essence helps the Self to learn true forgiveness by quite literally being for giving: learning to release rather than retain energy. The individual is encouraged to move forward rather than stay entangled in self-deprecation and emotional paralysis. At its highest level, Pine flower essence teaches self-acceptance and inner esteem as a pathway to the soul’s realization of its own sacredness and divinity.




Star of Bethlehem



Positive qualities:

Soothing, healing qualities, a sense of inner divinity.


Patterns of imbalance:

Shock or trauma, either recent or from a past experience; need for comfort and reassurance from the spiritual world.




Star of Bethlehem flower essence is a deeply restorative remedy, with calm, soothing properties for people who have experienced shock or trauma. It is particularly helpful for individuals who have never adequately addressed a disturbance from the past.




Such persons often seek to anesthetize this trauma in inappropriate ways, such as through drugs, occult ritual, or a numbing of awareness. There is a longing and seeking for a part of the Spiritual Self which seems inaccessible. The nervous system often becomes deadened, and the mental facilities are lacking in vibrancy and coherency. In some essential way, the personality is out of alignment with its higher components, and is stymied form full and vibrant functioning.




Star of Bethlehem flower essence helps bring about this much needed psychic and spiritual adjustment, although other therapeutic and counseling measures are often necessary to help the individual fully access the trauma and its causes. Star of Bethlehem flower essence is also one of the ingredients in the Five-Flower Formula indicated by Dr. Bach for broad-based emergency and first aid use.




Willow



Positive qualities:

Acceptance, forgiveness, taking resposibility for one's life situation, flowing with life.


Patterns of imbalance:

Feeling resentful, inflexible or bitter; feeling that life is unfair or that one is a victim.




Willow flower essence - If the physical body does not keep flexible, it becomes stiff and contracted. The good health of the soul also depends on its ability to be yielding, flowing, and “forgiving.” The Willow flower essence heals bitterness and resentment; it is for those who tend to “hold on” and become attached to negative emotions. Such persons often feel victimized by the circumstances of life-they feel that others are to blame for their misfortune; that life has been unfair to them; or they resent those who appear to have more status, prosperity, or felicity than themselves.




The aging process is especially difficult for Willow flower essence types. At an energetic level, such persons are unable to flow with the streaming of their lives. Negative feelings are dammed up and then become magnified and internalized, congesting the inner being. The physical body also suffers this stress, tending to manifest as stiff joints, rheumatism, arthritis, and other aches and pains. (It is interesting to note that Willow bark is the herbal precursor of aspirin, and is used particularly for such physical conditions.)




Willow flower essence restores a more “spring-like” disposition, helping the soul to respond with greater resilience and inward mobility to challenges and problems. In this way the Self takes more responsibility for its condition, and learns to flow more gently with, rather than against, the flow of life.

Roselove
16-10-2010, 06:00 PM
wow thank you for posting this.. i am strugging with healing this and many other issues..i reccomend eft, shamanic healing and therapy.. there is a group aftersilence.org for victims

Kapitan_Prien
16-10-2010, 06:35 PM
You're Welcome Rosewater :)

abikisses
16-10-2010, 07:23 PM
I like many here am an adult survivor of child sexual, physical, mental and emotional abuse.

My mentality has been for some years if I can survive all of that then maybe I can help someone too.

Just email me if you need to talk.

Blessings
Abikisses

Imzadi
08-04-2016, 05:49 AM
Oh wow! By a stroke of synchronicity, I found myself landing onto this thread after following some signs. Even though this thread has been inactive for 5 years, I think it would be nice to resurrect it for us to have a safe space to share strength, wisdom, triumphs, and support. :)

Miss Hepburn
09-04-2016, 02:13 AM
Well, again, my father was mean to me from the hospital at
my birth til the day he died...I could do nothing right.
YET, I could see he was a wonderful man...but not to me.

Knowing forgiveness was the thing..I went to therapy, but mostly prayed to God to help me forgive him.
I couldn't...logic saw that my life was so effected because of him.

Then one morning about 3 years ago (took long enough!)...out of nowhere I was given
a sudden vision...and heard him say in the
in-between place before re-incarnating ...that he would be my father and I would be a girl and he would treat me
the way I treated women...so I would stop it once and for all.

So this 'mean man' was actually my best friend willing to help
me learn so I could progress spiritually.

Nothing is what it seems.

Hope this aids someone.

jimrich
26-04-2016, 02:02 AM
I am also a survivor of child abuse in the form of physical abuse, threats, frequent fear and finally verbal abuse so I have a few stories to tell which I've told many times at sharing meetings and on line but I notice a constant attack from unsympathetic others about: Blame, Choices and responsibility that these confrontive others come at me with.
I am told not to "blame" my parents and that i made those "choices" and need to take the "responsibility" for my actions.
Much of this is said in wide, sweeping and generalized ways to put me down or shut me up so I recognize the fear and defensiveness behind these assaults.
I am wondering how any of you deal with comments that there is nobody to blame for how sick you turned out or behaved and that you made the choices to become: neurotic, alcoholic, abusive, sadistic, depressed, and emotional wreck, etc. and that it's your responsibility to do what's right and GET OVER IT - the sooner the better.
I agree with some of those concepts but still had to do a lot of emotional work in groups to undo the mental/emotional damages my parents and others did to me so long ago and still work at it as stuff comes up. I do take responsibility for my actions and current mental conditions so the hostile attacks from unhealed others don't bother me so much any more.
I was wondering how any of you deal with the animosity that often comes from those who have never worked on their own issues and see you as a whining little baby who just needs to GET OVER IT.
Thanks for your feed back,
jim :hug3:

jimrich
26-04-2016, 05:18 AM
I had to learn to be intimate again. I went from total suppression to total abandon after my childhood abuse and then, through healing the inner child within me, I got to the point where I began to be clear about what I wanted as a woman, from an intimate relationship.

It was challenging to voice that, and insist on my needs being met, but it was a vital part of my healing. I'm very glad that Ancestral was with a man who did not take her flashbacks personally. That, in itself, must have helped the healing process.

Another thing that I've realized, and that may be very hard for others to accept, is that there are no victims.

I was hurt, terribly, but I've come to know in my adult life that my abuser suffered as much as I did.

Because I understand that I am more than this body, more than the experience of this particular lifetime, I am able to see this experience as one that was co-created at some point. Certainly, I did not create it conscioulsy in this lifetime, but the seeds were laid down at some point for myself and this person to connect.

In my particular case, the abuser was given the opportunity to change a legacy of abuse. He was not strong enough to do that and I suffered greatly as a result but I am empowered by knowing the nobility of my path and the opportunity I provided him.
I too have come to accept that there must be a spiritual or Divine reason for everything that happens including the abuse and neglect that happened in my childhood. I can't explain it or condone it otherwise and so I just assume, for now, that there was a Divine reason or purpose for the ugliness, hate, fear and PAIN that was the bulk of my early years with two very faulty parents.
It's hard to accept that Divinity has a reason for pain, horror, murder, rape, cruelty, torture, violence, war and bad stuff but I am willing to see it if and when I can. I have read about how and why Divinity does this in various books and somehow it makes more sense to me than just plain old meanness, stupidity or Evil in those who abuse and violate others - especially their own kids.
Thank god for therapy and Recovery Groups. :hug3:

jimrich
26-04-2016, 05:26 AM
hello all,

I am here to share. I am 34 years old, I have three beautiful boys and I am in the slow agonising process of either saving or letting do my marraige. I have always felt different. I was told often not to be so soft, that I was way to sensitive to tkae a joke. Anyways I have been through so much especially in the last 8 years. That I have now turned inward stasrted to ask very valid questions. As to why I react sometimes.

I think I may have been sexually abused as a child I say think as the memories only surface every now and then especially when I am feeling hurt or humiliated little snachets...like a cine film being played beneath eye lids.....but there not very tangible.

I know I have to seek professional advice but I ahve had a bad expierence with counselling....maybe I wasn't ready...

Anyways love and light to you all you are all brave brave individuals
Hello: IMO, support groups can do you more good than a counselor and they cost a lot less. IMO, there is nothing worse than a bad counselor but you might have to explore a few support groups to find one that you are comfortable with. I got a lot out of going to Incest Survivors Anonymous meetings even tho I never found any Incest memories from my childhood. It turned out that I felt nearly as much pain as the other group members because there was similar, sex-related pain within my parents and our family.
I wish you luck getting to the bottom of your illusive memories and unresolved pain from the past. :smile:

jimrich
26-04-2016, 05:34 AM
Thank you for your support and belief jan. I will do some research on the book front. I have read your pers. blog. I know it must have been traumatic to remember esp. at the age of 40 but it gives me a glimmer of hope that I am not mad. That something very very bad has happened to me. It's just in snapshots i keep getting but they are all over the place. I am going to try really hard to actually ring to actually dial a number for help. It's just so bloody hard.....I would like to not have to do this....but that's not going to happen is it.......as I am stuck.........:icon_frown: :icon_frown: :icon_frown:
Nibbles, not sure where you live but you might google: support groups in your area and then go visit one or two. When you get around folks who can freely speak of their life and memories, it makes it easier for you to open up and share your stuff with them which opens the floodgates to your past while the other group members will encourage and support you on your path.
good luck :smile:

arlonicholson
07-05-2016, 01:34 AM
I was mentally abused as a child, caused many problems for me know, cannot say what they are as they are an taboo in society I guess.