Healing the Wounds

[Greybeard]

Narrow is the way, and strait is the gate, and few there be that find it. --

I think Jesus is talking about Enlightenment here.

On the same subject, the Bhagavad Gita has this to say:
"Among thousands of men perhaps one strives for perfection;
and among thousands of those who strive perhaps one knows me in truth."

Enlightenment is not a thing to which there is a Magic Golden Key.

You cannot earn it, although you can strive toward it.

It comes only by the grace of God.

What is Enlightenment anyway? When I was in my early 20s (a very long time ago) I decided that my life's goal would be to attain Enlightenment. I didn't know exactly what it was, but I could tell, intuitively, that it was the only thing in life that seemed worthwhile.

Now after all these years, and all the pain and suffering (and yes, the laughter and joy too), I have learned something about Enlightenment.

It is not something that can be described in words.

But if I were to say that Enlightenment is, or in part consists of, psychological healing, I would not be too far off.

All people are "born" wounded, their soul is wounded. Born may not be exact, but whatever the wounding is, it occurs before we attain conscious memory. Very early in life we are wounded and so I will use the term "born wounded".

Our task in life, then, is to heal our wounds. No one can do that for us. Only we ourselves can heal our wounded soul. Others can point to the path to healing, but only we can -- and must -- walk that path.

A long time ago I was having "emotional problems" and decided that I would visit a psychiatrist to see if we could discover what the problem was so that I could try fixing it. After extensive testing -- great!! Now this learned gentelman will tell me what is wrong and I can go to work on fixing myself -- I was given a prescription for a magical pill that would "help" me. I took the prescription to the druggist, but being who I am before I ordered a bottle of the magical pills I asked to see the pharmacopaea. I read about the little pills. And simply said, "No way. I did not come to the doctor to get a chemical lobotomy". At our next appointment I put the prescription on his desk and told him where he could put his pills. Then I turned and walked out.

And there I stood on the sidewalk in the blazing summer sun, wondering what I would do. It was clear to me that the learned doctor could not help me nor did he really want to help me. I stood there in the sun with no idea of what I might do. And then the words of Jesus flashed through my head: "Physician, Heal thyself."

Having no other options, I decided that I must try to heal myself. I had no idea how to go about that. I didn't even know what was wrong. But I had no alternative. It was either try, or give up. I am not one who considers giving up an alternative. I calculated my chances of success as zero to none, but the only thing to do was...try.

That was one of the smartest things I ever did in my life.

Rejecting those pills saved my life. It put me in a position of having no choice but to try. I tried, and failed as I expected I would. I kept on trying, and kept on failing. But then one day....

Enlightenment has to do with light. Light is symbolic of consciousness. In the darkness we can see nothing. In the light, we can see clearly.

If our desire is to heal ourselves, then we must become aware of ourselves. Jeddu Krishnamurti suggests in his book Think on These Things that we try simply watching ourselves carefully in every circumstance and relationship as we go through the day. No judgment, no criticism; simply watching. As we do this, awareness grows. It builds on itself, becomes ever easier and more effective. It's one way to start the process of healing ourselves.

To try, and fail, carries no shame in it. To not try is unbecoming of a man who is a man.

[Sentientno1]

Narrow is the way, and strait is the gate, and few there be that find it. --

I think Jesus is talking about Enlightenment here.

On the same subject, the Bhagavad Gita has this to say:
"Among thousands of men perhaps one strives for perfection;
and among thousands of those who strive perhaps one knows me in truth."

Enlightenment is not a thing to which there is a Magic Golden Key.

You cannot earn it, although you can strive toward it.

It comes only by the grace of God.

What is Enlightenment anyway? When I was in my early 20s (a very long time ago) I decided that my life's goal would be to attain Enlightenment. I didn't know exactly what it was, but I could tell, intuitively, that it was the only thing in life that seemed worthwhile.

Now after all these years, and all the pain and suffering (and yes, the laughter and joy too), I have learned something about Enlightenment.

It is not something that can be described in words.

But if I were to say that Enlightenment is, or in part consists of, psychological healing, I would not be too far off.

All people are "born" wounded, their soul is wounded. Born may not be exact, but whatever the wounding is, it occurs before we attain conscious memory. Very early in life we are wounded and so I will use the term "born wounded".

Our task in life, then, is to heal our wounds. No one can do that for us. Only we ourselves can heal our wounded soul. Others can point to the path to healing, but only we can -- and must -- walk that path.

A long time ago I was having "emotional problems" and decided that I would visit a psychiatrist to see if we could discover what the problem was so that I could try fixing it. After extensive testing -- great!! Now this learned gentelman will tell me what is wrong and I can go to work on fixing myself -- I was given a prescription for a magical pill that would "help" me. I took the prescription to the druggist, but being who I am before I ordered a bottle of the magical pills I asked to see the pharmacopaea. I read about the little pills. And simply said, "No way. I did not come to the doctor to get a chemical lobotomy". At our next appointment I put the prescription on his desk and told him where he could put his pills. Then I turned and walked out.

And there I stood on the sidewalk in the blazing summer sun, wondering what I would do. It was clear to me that the learned doctor could not help me nor did he really want to help me. I stood there in the sun with no idea of what I might do. And then the words of Jesus flashed through my head: "Physician, Heal thyself."

Having no other options, I decided that I must try to heal myself. I had no idea how to go about that. I didn't even know what was wrong. But I had no alternative. It was either try, or give up. I am not one who considers giving up an alternative. I calculated my chances of success as zero to none, but the only thing to do was...try.

That was one of the smartest things I ever did in my life.

Rejecting those pills saved my life. It put me in a position of having no choice but to try. I tried, and failed as I expected I would. I kept on trying, and kept on failing. But then one day....

Enlightenment has to do with light. Light is symbolic of consciousness. In the darkness we can see nothing. In the light, we can see clearly.

If our desire is to heal ourselves, then we must become aware of ourselves. Jeddu Krishnamurti suggests in his book Think on These Things that we try simply watching ourselves carefully in every circumstance and relationship as we go through the day. No judgment, no criticism; simply watching. As we do this, awareness grows. It builds on itself, becomes ever easier and more effective. It's one way to start the process of healing ourselves.

To try, and fail, carries no shame in it. To not try is unbecoming of a man who is a man.

Hello Greybeard...i see you are a newbie so welcome to the forum.

There are some poeple here who are also familair with J. Krishnamurti, and with the practice of watching.

You mentioned Jesus with a referance to enlightenment....back in my youth i was deeply into the bible in a fundementalist way. Having found no meaningful answers there i dropped it and spent most of my life as a mystic looking for bottomline answers. A few years back i returned to the bible, especialy the story of Jesus, and mused on it, and percieved something remarkable ( at least remarkable to me) Your opening post seems to suggest you have also re-looked and arrived at some thoughts of your own.

At sometime, if you are open to it, maybe we could share. Not for the sake of argument, ( most debating turns ugly and unproductive not to mention boring) but for further mutual discovery.

In any event, again, welcome.

[Spiritlite]

I am on meds. I hate taking them and have in fact cut down the dosage on both of them. However I'm very afraid that if I stop I'll go back to extreme phobia anxiety and depression. To the point were I wont be able to leave my bed. I was wounded as a child. My father gave me very low self esteem by calling me stupid and fat now I admired him and still do because he has a genius iq level. My mother also made fun of me. My mom favored my brother. I grew up in a country with a lot of voile ce and still have issues with that maybe I'm too sensitive maybe being the cancer I am I hang onto things. I forgot to mention that at 27 I had 20 blood clots in my lungs which caused a lot of issues fir me. Maybe I need to learn to let go. But how do I do that if I tend to clung to the past

[Silver]

I hope you don't mind if I quote a portion of your opening post in myspace (Going for the Gold). It was very good.

[moke64916]

"When you surrender to what is,

and so become fully present,

The realm of Being, which had been obscured by

the mind, then opens up.

Suddenly, a great stillness arises within you,

an unfathomable sense of peace.

And within that peace, there is joy.

And within that joy, there is love.

And at the innermost core, there is the sacred,

The immeasurable, That which cannot be named.

By: Eckhart Tolle

[Lisa]

Greybeard- simply watching ourselves carefully in every circumstance and relationship as we go through the day. No judgment, no criticism; simply watching. As we do this, awareness grows. It builds on itself, becomes ever easier and more effective.

This is excellent. And watching our thoughts and emotions as well.

[Emmalevine]

Great post.

For me, healing is happening gradually as I feel the emotions associated with my story and then, bit by bit, letting go of my story.

I don't think we can always let go quickly. I once did the Journey process thinking my emotional and physcial issues would be resolved instantly but it has taken me a long time to come to terms with my past. I needed to re-live my story to learn what it was that I was letting go of. I live more and more for the day but it's been a gradual process.

Spiritlite - I too battle with letting go and moving on but this can only be done at the right time, which is perfect for you. What I will say though is that changing your expectations can be enormously helpful. I see a lot of expectations in your post about the way things are for you and the reasons for this (ie being a cancer) but part of letting go, for me, has been letting go of all associations and expectations. When there are no storylines to hang onto we are free to be who we are TODAY, with no fear and no expectations.

[Lisa]

"When you surrender to what is,

and so become fully present,

The realm of Being, which had been obscured by

the mind, then opens up.

Suddenly, a great stillness arises within you,

an unfathomable sense of peace.

And within that peace, there is joy.

And within that joy, there is love.

And at the innermost core, there is the sacred,

The immeasurable, That which cannot be named.

By: Eckhart Tolle

Soooo Goooood! :fish:

[Spiritlite]

Beautiful thread

[Greybeard]

To heal ourselves takes time; it is a process. I am kicking 70 years in the tailfeathers and the process is not done yet, and never will be. Starbuck mentions something of extreme importance to this process...expectations. One of the most striking and important realizations in my own path toward healing was the day, through one relationship, that I realized I was acting (thinking) under the influence of what I call "Unrealistic Expectations" (basically it was a "should be", "ought to be" sort of thing). Once I saw what I was doing in this one situation, I was immediately able to apply the "unrealistic expectations" test to every single thing I encountered. "Am I acting (thinking) based on unrealistic expectations"? If I found I was doing so, I could then change my thinking/perspective, therefore behavior, therefore outcome. It works and it's easy to do....once you catch that first one.

[Greybeard]

Perhaps I need to be specific in order to make clear what "unrealistic expectations" are.

I was having severe problems with my brother. We were basically at war. What bothered me was that I would not treat him, my brother -- or anyone else for that matter -- the way he was treating me. My thinking was that "brothers don't treat each other this way." (they "should not" treat each other this way.) Then one day, thinking about it all, it dawned on me.....Hey, the very first brothers, Cain and Abel, did not get along so well; Cain murdered Abel.

[Greybeard]

So immediately I saw: I am operating under UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS. I expect that brothers should not treat each other as my brother is treating me, and that is a false assumption. It does not face reality squarely. My brother IS treating me thus.

And so immediately, the situation resolved itself, the hurt and anger dissolved. And I was able to evaluate each and every situation I encountered in life by the test of "unrealistic expectations" and so correct my behavior.

[Greybeard]

When we learn to face life in terms of WHAT IS, and not what we think "should be", it brings us squarely into the NOW...we leave the past behind. We become free of past hurts, because the past is not what IS NOW. We deal only with that: the present reality.

[Greybeard]

Another aspect of this same thing....When I realized that I was operating under the cloud of unrealistic expectations I moved the blame from my brother -- HE was treating me shoddily -- to ME. I could no longer place the blame on my brother, but had to put it on my own shoulders. And of course, that is where it belonged in the first place.

[not human]

Another aspect of this same thing....When I realized that I was operating under the cloud of unrealistic expectations I moved the blame from my brother -- HE was treating me shoddily -- to ME. I could no longer place the blame on my brother, but had to put it on my own shoulders. And of course, that is where it belonged in the first place.

It's the expectations that will get you every time. It took me decades to become fully concious that I could not change another human being, I am fortunate if I get the opportunaty to heal myself let alone manipulate anyone else to meet my minds image of what they should be.
Forgiveness is part of the process as well, but I've normally found that that will manifest after the healing & not to expect it to be the catalyst for the healing. Good stuff Greybeard.

[Lisa]

When we learn to face life in terms of WHAT IS, and not what we think "should be", it brings us squarely into the NOW...we leave the past behind. We become free of past hurts, because the past is not what IS NOW. We deal only with that: the present reality.

Great post! Also by being present the past is healed, forgiven. Just by being in the present moment. (knowing this could stifle the shrink biz though. :wink: )

[Greybeard]

Forgiveness....ah, not human, what a powerful Magic...

"But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:15)

I never got along with my mother. I detested her. Not having seen her for some years, one day I felt a compulsion to visit her. After all, she was my mother and time was passing. So I made the 500 mile drive to her place and spent the whole day with her. As I was driving down that long, dark and lonesome highway on my way back home, spontaneously, without thought, I suddenly realized that somehow I had forgiven my mother of all of her "sins against me" (those things, real or imagined, that I held against her). I understood, in that moment, that in her role as my mother she was only being who she was and could not have been anyone or anything else. In other words, I accepted her for herself. Forgiveness, acceptance and love, while they may not be exactly the same, have much in common and one leads to the other.

But the most amazing part of that whole powerful experience was that in forgiving my mother, I saw that I too was forgiven. I was the one who needed the forgiveness. We all do; we need to forgive ourselves. We cannot do that until we first forgive others.

[Greybeard]

The shrinks should take up fly fishing and leave us to heal ourselves, Lisa. Yup, Now is all we've got.

[Lisa]

Greybeard-But the most amazing part of that whole powerful experience was that in forgiving my mother, I saw that I too was forgiven. I was the one who needed the forgiveness. We all do; we need to forgive ourselves. We cannot do that until we first forgive others.

Love this, so true. (I guess I should forgive my mother. :rolleyes: )


Greybeard- Yup, Now is all we've got.


Yup! :hug3:


THE ETERNAL PRESENT IS THE SPACE WITHIN WHICH YOUR WHOLE LIFE UNFOLDS. IT IS THE ONE FACTOR THAT REMAINS CONSTANT. LIFE IS NOW.



THERE WAS NEVER A TIME WHEN YOU LIFE WAS NOT NOW. NOR WILL THERE EVER BE.

SECONDLY THE NOW IS THE ONLY POINT THAT CAN TAKE YOU BEYOND THE LIMITED CONFINES OF THE MIND.

IT IS YOUR ONLY POINT OF ACCESS INTO THE TIMELESS AND FORMLESS REALM OF BEING.


NOTHING EXISTS OURSIDE THE NOW.

THE MIND CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS.

ONLY YOU CAN.

PLEASE JUST LISTEN.

HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED, DONE, THOUGHT OR FELT ABOUT ANYTHING OUTSIDE THE NOW?

DO YOU THINK YOU EVER WILL?

IS IT POSSIBLE FOR ANYTHING TO HAPPEN OR BE OUTSIDE THE NOW?

THE ANSWER IS OBVIOUS, IS IT NOT?


NOTHING EVER HAPPENED IN THE PAST. IT HAPPENED IN THE NOW.

NOTHING WILL EVER HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE. IT WILL HAPPEN IN THE NOW.

WHAT YOU THINK OF AS THE PAST IS A MEMORY TRACE, STORED IN THE MIND OF A FORMER NOW. WHEN YOU REMEMBER THE PAST YOU REACITVATE A MEMORY TRACE- AND YOU DO SO NOW.


THE FUTURE IS AN IMAGED NOW, A PROJECTION OF THE MIND. WHEN THE FUTURE COMES IT COMES AS THE NOW. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE, YOU DO IT NOW.

PAST AND FUTURE OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO REALITY OF THEIR OWN.


JUST AS THE MOON HAS NO LIGHT OF ITS OWN, BUT CAN ONLY REFLECT THE LIGHT OF THE SUN, SO OUR PAST AND FUTURE ONLY PALE REFLECTIONS OF THE LIGHT, POWER AND REALITY OF THE ETERNAL PRESENT. THEIR REALITY IS BORROWED FROM THE NOW.


THE ESSENCE OF WHAT I AM SAYING HERE CANNOT BE UNDERSTOOD BY THE MIND. THE MOMENT YOU GRASP IT THERE IS A SHIFT IN CONSCOUSNESSS FROM MIND TO BEING, FROM TIME TO PRESENSE. SUDDENLY EVERYTHING FEELS ALIVE, RADIATES ENERGY, EMANATES BEING.

　
E TOLLE

:smile:

[not human]

Forgiveness....ah, not human, what a powerful Magic...

"But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." (Matthew 6:15)

I never got along with my mother. I detested her. Not having seen her for some years, one day I felt a compulsion to visit her. After all, she was my mother and time was passing. So I made the 500 mile drive to her place and spent the whole day with her. As I was driving down that long, dark and lonesome highway on my way back home, spontaneously, without thought, I suddenly realized that somehow I had forgiven my mother of all of her "sins against me" (those things, real or imagined, that I held against her). I understood, in that moment, that in her role as my mother she was only being who she was and could not have been anyone or anything else. In other words, I accepted her for herself. Forgiveness, acceptance and love, while they may not be exactly the same, have much in common and one leads to the other.

But the most amazing part of that whole powerful experience was that in forgiving my mother, I saw that I too was forgiven. I was the one who needed the forgiveness. We all do; we need to forgive ourselves. We cannot do that until we first forgive others.

I had a similar dysfunctional relationship with my mother & she died whilst we we out of communication. Her death bought up a lot of unresolved issues for me & that also turned out to be my salvation. It was the cracks that were always there in my life that I needed to embrace.
After months of resentment & anger towards her even in death there came the same considerations that you spoke of, more just empathy. forgivemess sounds like a condesending approach to take. An understanding that everybody does what everybody does & if you sit there trying to understand the can of worms then you becoame the can of worms. Its at its heart just acknowledgement. Take care.

[Sentientno1]

Shoulda coulda woulda.....the mantra of lament, using yesterdays to build more of the same tomorrows while missing today.

Then blame life.

Glad to see this subject brought up and all the comments on being aware of it.

[Greybeard]

"... if you sit there trying to understand the can of worms then you become the can of worms."

[not human]

"... if you sit there trying to understand the can of worms then you become the can of worms."

It's yours Greybeard...consider it a gift of friendship :smile:

[Greybeard]

I like worms. I will cherish them, and the friendship.

[Greybeard]

Speaking of Earthworms....
This may not have a lot to do with Enlightenment, or Healing the soul, but....
Did you know that when earthworms have sex they simultaneously take both the male and the female role? Yup. Each worm both fertilizes and is fertilized at the same time.
When I reincarnate I want to be an earthworm. Talk about kinky sex....

[Sentientno1]

Grey...i have heard similair of hyenas...and hyenas have an above ground existance and can laugh at bad jokes, so will raise you your can of worms by one hyena. ( course it IS difficult getting a hyena on a hook)

[not human]

Sounds like as an earthworm or a hyena even your alone time could be a blast ;)

[Spiritlite]

Omg what a crackup