Intolerance

[Emmalevine]

I'd like to say I accept the whole world and everyone in it with unconditional, unwavering love and compassion, but the fact is, I don't.

Intolerance is a major difficulty of mine. It's not so much intolerance of people but intolerance of suffering. When people are suffering the urge is to show them a way out. That would be fine if it was meant with love, but it springs from fear. My fear. My intolerance of pain. The result is, I try and 'rescue' people through words that make no sense to them. I show them patterns that they can't relate to. Solutions that are miles away from where they are.

I don't meet them where they're at. To do so would mean I was accepting them with love. Instead, I meet them where I'm at - which is fear.

I wish I could change this. The irony is I'm intolerant of my own intolerance. I'm crying and angry because I've messed up. I get carried away because of my own fear of suffering. I feel rage when I read of people caught in desperate emotional patterns of their own making. I cannot relax with where they are. I can't be with them. I want them out - I want suffering out.

I couldn't be any sort of therapist or healer - I wouldn't have the patience, tolerance or acceptance.

I can see that the first step is tolerating my OWN suffering - but how? I try to accept my life but I don't like any of it. I don't understand why we suffer - none of it makes sense. How can I accept where I am - and where others are - when everything is so out of control?

[NightSpirit]

I read your OP and its filled with pain starbuck, but I don't have the answers. No one does because each of us are unique in our experiences. That is why we can't fully connect to anothers pain. Pain, like all things, is by experience alone.

I'm sorry you're going through such difficult times and I can sprout all these wonderful, feel-good philosophies that have been tossed by you too many times before. Will it help? I don't think so. I can only commiserate. I have nothing of your painful experience to draw upon, so its impossible for me to offer you advise. I can only offer you a ~CYBER HUG~

[Emmalevine]

Thanks Nightspirit. It's strange because I don't really feel my own suffering - I cope pretty well, all in all - but I do feel others. I get frustrated with the suffering of others. Maybe it is because I can't deal with mine. I thought I had, but maybe not in depth.

I've got a lot of feel good philosophy stuff - seen it all, read it all, got the T shirt - but still I can't live it. Perhaps I haven't taken it into my heart. I really don't know.

It's not a lack of compassion - I cry a lot over people's suffering - but the key is intolerance. I don't tolerate this world well. I don't live through love, I live through fear.

[NightSpirit]

That to me is very sad Starbuck. To live through fear is not living fully...at least not in my own experience, because I can show you the opposite...so I know there's more.

Is it all about focus?

[3dnow]

I'd like to say I accept the whole world and everyone in it with unconditional, unwavering love and compassion, but the fact is, I don't.

Intolerance is a major difficulty of mine. It's not so much intolerance of people but intolerance of suffering. When people are suffering the urge is to show them a way out. That would be fine if it was meant with love, but it springs from fear. My fear. My intolerance of pain. The result is, I try and 'rescue' people through words that make no sense to them. I show them patterns that they can't relate to. Solutions that are miles away from where they are.

I don't meet them where they're at. To do so would mean I was accepting them with love. Instead, I meet them where I'm at - which is fear.

I wish I could change this. The irony is I'm intolerant of my own intolerance. I'm crying and angry because I've messed up. I get carried away because of my own fear of suffering. I feel rage when I read of people caught in desperate emotional patterns of their own making. I cannot relax with where they are. I can't be with them. I want them out - I want suffering out.

I couldn't be any sort of therapist or healer - I wouldn't have the patience, tolerance or acceptance.

I can see that the first step is tolerating my OWN suffering - but how? I try to accept my life but I don't like any of it. I don't understand why we suffer - none of it makes sense. How can I accept where I am - and where others are - when everything is so out of control?
Hi Starbuck,

You said it yourself, and I am in the same position, for different reasons, the thing is to tolerate your intolerance and fear. That is, self-forgiving the intolerance and fear. It works. After all it makes sense because, when you accept your thoughts/feelings and you say no problem, you switch to God state in an instant (God in you I mean). Forgiveness including self-forgiveness is real love&power and it heals.

So whatever feeling you have, hatred, anger, fear etc, say no problem with that. I do it it works like magic.

3dnow

[BlueSky]

I'd like to say I accept the whole world and everyone in it with unconditional, unwavering love and compassion, but the fact is, I don't.

Intolerance is a major difficulty of mine. It's not so much intolerance of people but intolerance of suffering. When people are suffering the urge is to show them a way out. That would be fine if it was meant with love, but it springs from fear. My fear. My intolerance of pain. The result is, I try and 'rescue' people through words that make no sense to them. I show them patterns that they can't relate to. Solutions that are miles away from where they are.

I don't meet them where they're at. To do so would mean I was accepting them with love. Instead, I meet them where I'm at - which is fear.

I wish I could change this. The irony is I'm intolerant of my own intolerance. I'm crying and angry because I've messed up. I get carried away because of my own fear of suffering. I feel rage when I read of people caught in desperate emotional patterns of their own making. I cannot relax with where they are. I can't be with them. I want them out - I want suffering out.

I couldn't be any sort of therapist or healer - I wouldn't have the patience, tolerance or acceptance.

I can see that the first step is tolerating my OWN suffering - but how? I try to accept my life but I don't like any of it. I don't understand why we suffer - none of it makes sense. How can I accept where I am - and where others are - when everything is so out of control?

Please don't take this wrong but could it be that you very reason for approaching others, regardless of how badly you think you do it, is because it is you that wants to be accepted with love, unconditional and unwavering. I know I do!
I use to have this huge desire to heal everyone and one day I just knew that its basis was in me wanted to be accepted and respected by everyone.
I'm just asking.........it is what came to my mind as I read it.
Blessings, James

[sound]

Starbuck I think your honesty is beautiful and refreshing ... being honest with others is being loving, even when the honesty stirs strong emotion, which others may struggle with, it inspires what it gives ... :hug3:



It's strange because I don't really feel my own suffering - I cope pretty well, all in all - but I do feel others. I get frustrated with the suffering of others. Maybe it is because I can't deal with mine. I thought I had, but maybe not in depth.

I've got a lot of feel good philosophy stuff - seen it all, read it all, got the T shirt - but still I can't live it. Perhaps I haven't taken it into my heart. I really don't know.

It's not a lack of compassion - I cry a lot over people's suffering - but the key is intolerance. I don't tolerate this world well. I don't live through love, I live through fear.

[Emmalevine]

That to me is very sad Starbuck. To live through fear is not living fully...at least not in my own experience, because I can show you the opposite...so I know there's more.

Is it all about focus?

Well maybe I don't always live through fear! I'm not a fearful person as such, but I dislike suffering and feel very angry at what people go through. I think that's what I mean by living through fear. I want things to be different rather than accepting them for what they are. I have glimpses of love and acceptance but I find it hard to retain them. I meditate and feel it, I feel it on this forum too. Maybe I get caught up inside myself, wanting life to be different for us all.

[Emmalevine]

Hi Starbuck,

You said it yourself, and I am in the same position, for different reasons, the thing is to tolerate your intolerance and fear. That is, self-forgiving the intolerance and fear. It works. After all it makes sense because, when you accept your thoughts/feelings and you say no problem, you switch to God state in an instant (God in you I mean). Forgiveness including self-forgiveness is real love&power and it heals.

So whatever feeling you have, hatred, anger, fear etc, say no problem with that. I do it it works like magic.

3dnow

That's very wise, thank you 3dnow. I will try accepting myself. Do you do this through meditation, or simply say it whatever you're doing?

[Emmalevine]

Please don't take this wrong but could it be that you very reason for approaching others, regardless of how badly you think you do it, is because it is you that wants to be accepted with love, unconditional and unwavering. I know I do!
I use to have this huge desire to heal everyone and one day I just knew that its basis was in me wanted to be accepted and respected by everyone.
I'm just asking.........it is what came to my mind as I read it.
Blessings, James

Ah very true! I'm not sure that's all of it, but it's probably part. Some of it is definitely fear of my own and other's suffering, but yes, when I try and help others, I think I do crave love and acceptance through it. The most telling element of this is my feeling of hurt and rejection and shame - yes shame - when I realise that I've said stuff that has made me look a fool rather than helped them.

[Emmalevine]

Starbuck I think your honesty is beautiful and refreshing ... being honest with others is being loving, even when the honesty stirs strong emotion, which others may struggle with, it inspires what it gives ... :hug3:

Oh thank you Sound, I do appreciate that. I always have the best intentions but I think I try too hard...with myself as well as others...

[3dnow]

That's very wise, thank you 3dnow. I will try accepting myself. Do you do this through meditation, or simply say it whatever you're doing?

Simply whatever I am doing. Try with anger/hatred it really works with anger in an instant. No more anger.

With fear it works too. Imagine a fearful child.. Would you beat him because he is fearful? and this child is you!

Same for every feeling. When you self-forgive you are God.

etc etc.

:hug2:

[BlueSky]

Ah very true! I'm not sure that's all of it, but it's probably part. Some of it is definitely fear of my own and other's suffering, but yes, when I try and help others, I think I do crave love and acceptance through it. The most telling element of this is my feeling of hurt and rejection and shame - yes shame - when I realise that I've said stuff that has made me look a fool rather than helped them.

Cool! Like I said I went thru similar emotions in my life. The desire to be a healer was the desire to be special which was the desire to be loved and accepted.
If I could actually heal someone........man oh man, the world would believe me and respect me then!
As life went on it became apparent where this need stemed from, my childhood family life which overflowed without being fixed into my adult life but magically, just recognizing all this made it all go away.............:smile:
I guess I was ready for it to leave and for life to move on in me.
blessings to you Starbuck...James

[Emmalevine]

Simply whatever I am doing. Try with anger/hatred it really works with anger in an instant. No more anger.

With fear it works too. Imagine a fearful child.. Would you beat him because he is fearful? and this child is you!

Same for every feeling. When you self-forgive you are God.

etc etc.

:hug2:

Yes that's very true re fearful child. I will do this, thanks.

[Emmalevine]

Cool! Like I said I went thru similar emotions in my life. The desire to be a healer was the desire to be special which was the desire to be loved and accepted.
If I could actually heal someone........man oh man, the world would believe me and respect me then!
As life went on it became apparent where this need stemed from, my childhood family life which overflowed without being fixed into my adult life but magically, just recognizing all this made it all go away.............:smile:
I guess I was ready for it to leave and for life to move on in me.
blessings to you Starbuck...James
This really resonates with me too. I have a strong desire to be special and yes, accepted and loved...on many levels. Also to be believed, respected etc.

I'm glad you resolved this and found peace within yourself. Life moving on in you...I like that.

You've been very helpful, thanks :hug3:

[moke64916]

I'd like to say I accept the whole world and everyone in it with unconditional, unwavering love and compassion, but the fact is, I don't.

Intolerance is a major difficulty of mine. It's not so much intolerance of people but intolerance of suffering. When people are suffering the urge is to show them a way out. That would be fine if it was meant with love, but it springs from fear. My fear. My intolerance of pain. The result is, I try and 'rescue' people through words that make no sense to them. I show them patterns that they can't relate to. Solutions that are miles away from where they are.

I don't meet them where they're at. To do so would mean I was accepting them with love. Instead, I meet them where I'm at - which is fear.

I wish I could change this. The irony is I'm intolerant of my own intolerance. I'm crying and angry because I've messed up. I get carried away because of my own fear of suffering. I feel rage when I read of people caught in desperate emotional patterns of their own making. I cannot relax with where they are. I can't be with them. I want them out - I want suffering out.

I couldn't be any sort of therapist or healer - I wouldn't have the patience, tolerance or acceptance.

I can see that the first step is tolerating my OWN suffering - but how? I try to accept my life but I don't like any of it. I don't understand why we suffer - none of it makes sense. How can I accept where I am - and where others are - when everything is so out of control?
I've learned that the key to helping people is to relate to them on THEIR level. Another might not be on the level you are at, so you bring yourself down to their level and help them gradually. That's how one helps another. Relating to others issues is also a great key to helping. I too sometimes have a hard time seeing unity with all people because of their egos. So I just try and see them as their souls to love everyone. You can remain in silence though, knowing that the sufferers might be unconsciously thinking, while you are not. It is your choice to let others get to you or to let it slide by.

[Emmalevine]

I've learned that the key to helping people is to relate to them on THEIR level. Another might not be on the level you are at, so you bring yourself down to their level and help them gradually. That's how one helps another. Relating to others issues is also a great key to helping. I too sometimes have a hard time seeing unity with all people because of their egos. So I just try and see them as their souls to love everyone. You can remain in silence though, knowing that the sufferers might be unconsciously thinking, while you are not. It is your choice to let others get to you or to let it slide by.
Thanks Moke. That's what I realised I hadn't done when I responded to someone who was hurting. I reacted from where I was at rather than where they were. I needed to meet them at their level. I'm glad you can see them as their souls - I'm working on that too. Yes, I'm giving some thought to what compelled me to respond so I can understand myself better.

[Thinker108]

I'd like to say I accept the whole world and everyone in it with unconditional, unwavering love and compassion, but the fact is, I don't.

Intolerance is a major difficulty of mine. It's not so much intolerance of people but intolerance of suffering. When people are suffering the urge is to show them a way out. That would be fine if it was meant with love, but it springs from fear. My fear. My intolerance of pain. The result is, I try and 'rescue' people through words that make no sense to them. I show them patterns that they can't relate to. Solutions that are miles away from where they are.

I don't meet them where they're at. To do so would mean I was accepting them with love. Instead, I meet them where I'm at - which is fear.

I wish I could change this. The irony is I'm intolerant of my own intolerance. I'm crying and angry because I've messed up. I get carried away because of my own fear of suffering. I feel rage when I read of people caught in desperate emotional patterns of their own making. I cannot relax with where they are. I can't be with them. I want them out - I want suffering out.

I couldn't be any sort of therapist or healer - I wouldn't have the patience, tolerance or acceptance.

I can see that the first step is tolerating my OWN suffering - but how? I try to accept my life but I don't like any of it. I don't understand why we suffer - none of it makes sense. How can I accept where I am - and where others are - when everything is so out of control?


You are quite right. But what is the solution. This world is full of pain and grief. Not only you but everyone is suffering. No one is completely happy. Everyone is feeling some less from his life. Everyone have a story of struggle and problems. This world is made of the poison polished by the gold of desires. In other thinking the world is made of God. Realize it and feel eternal happiness. But not try to feel it with your senses. In sensory world, there is no happiness. Never…

[NightSpirit]

Chaos is the way of the weary traveller.
Discovery is the way of the curious explorer.
Peace is the way of the accepting enquirer.
All of the above, the way of the warrior.

The warrior (Starbuck) stands tall upon the cliff face and scans the world before her and its horizons, as far as her eye can see.
She seeks understanding and sees a vast sea of tree canopy camouflaging its secrets beneath it.
She looks to the misty horizon and seeks compassion born of suffering and pain, and sees distant fading shadows of clouds falling into the earth.
She disparages her position in life's path, unable to offer its education to those standing with her....and looks out towards the setting sun...somehow chilly now in its last vestiges.
One last glance in all directions...just one more full glance will allow her to see that all these separations of nature are all there to nurture. The fullness of the picture is to nurture.

Take a look at the full picture...not parts of it. When one can see the energy of 'nurture', the Mother will abundantly suckle the Warrior Starbuck. :smile: