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NorwegianWiccaGirl
03-07-2011, 08:58 PM
Hey,
I have a problem. I don't know how to tell my mother that I am a Wiccan...
I'm sure she'll allow it, but not like it. Maybe she'll get mad, and say that "this is just some stupid period"...
She won't understand. I am sure that it is not a period. I've found out that this is right for me.
I don't really have to tell her, either. But when I read books about witchcraft and such she will ask me why i read things about Wicca, and I don't want to lie...

What do you think?

(My father doesen't live with us, I'm not going to meet him, don't worry about him)

norseman
03-07-2011, 09:12 PM
Hi neighbour ! Use the old name - Wise or Cunning Folk :D

NorwegianWiccaGirl
03-07-2011, 09:17 PM
Hahahah, what?

norseman
03-07-2011, 09:20 PM
Have a look at the current thread under Paganism above :smile:

NorwegianWiccaGirl
03-07-2011, 09:35 PM
Ah, okey. Thanks :)

pre-dawn
04-07-2011, 02:49 AM
Tell her you have joined an ecologist group.

indoorFlakes
04-07-2011, 03:11 AM
Hey,
I have a problem. I don't know how to tell my mother that I am a Wiccan...
I'm sure she'll allow it, but not like it. Maybe she'll get mad, and say that "this is just some stupid period"...
She won't understand. I am sure that it is not a period. I've found out that this is right for me.
I don't really have to tell her, either. But when I read books about witchcraft and such she will ask me why i read things about Wicca, and I don't want to lie...

What do you think?

(My father doesen't live with us, I'm not going to meet him, don't worry about him)

awwww....

dear one... i think you don't even need to tell them... unless they need to know for some reason.... parents cramp myself i find.... why do u feel the need to tell them?....

norseman
04-07-2011, 08:52 AM
[quote=NorwegianWiccaGirl]Hey,
I have a problem. I don't know how to tell my mother that I am a Wiccan...
I'm sure she'll allow it, but not like it. Maybe she'll get mad, and say that "this is just some stupid period"...
She won't understand. I am sure that it is not a period. I've found out that this is right for me.
I don't really have to tell her, either. But when I read books about witchcraft and such she will ask me why i read things about Wicca, and I don't want to lie...

A word of advice which you could take as sexist/ageist/insulting but it is not meant to be so, believe me. At your age, you should NOT be looking into witchcraft yet. My advice is to concentrate on the faith aspects for the time being.
Sometime back, I put together a little something for someone in your position which you might like to consider.

SO YOU FEEL DRAWN TO WICCA ?

Something inside you is telling you that you want to explore wicca.. You immediately want to do something about it but don’t know what.
Now I should explain that I began in wicca before reverting to an older, more primitive form [ picture Norse slouching along in the hedgerows with straw and twigs in his beard ! ] and I am still a Moderator in a Wiccan Forum.

So, here is Grandad Norsey’s guide to starting out in wicca.

It's a fair generalisation that all pagan paths are “green” and accented to the Earth. Tree Huggers all ! If you are not drawn to Nature, you might want to think about that.

Ok, lets make the assumption that you are one of Nature’s Children and you have a place in nature that uplifts you. Doesn’t have to be somewhere grand and glorious, just somewhere special to you.
You should now start to learn all about your place – the flora and fauna, the weather patterns, the geology, the rivers and streams, the wheel of the seasons, the people who went before [ I’ve been doing that for over 35 years and still only scratched the surface but then I am a fanatic ! ]. What you are aiming for is a sense of belonging, a sense that you are part of it, a sense that your place has imprinted on you, a sense that this is your Land !

Next step. Declare yourself in your Land. Make a promise to protect it. You can make this as simple as you like or you could make a simple altar [ flat piece of rock ] and dedicate to Mother Earth. Start making a record of your experiences and what you have learned – your BOS.

And there you are, Wicca 101. More ? Wicca 102 ?
This requires a certain level of practice in meditation – lets assume you have this.
Now start regular meditations in your place. Stick with it, it may take some time, but eventually you will start to notice things you missed before. Not suggesting that you do this but I did overnight vigils in my place which is a small offshoot of one of the Yorkshire Dales. One of the things you might see is the nocturnal life of the place. If you do this often enough, you will be accepted as a part of the place by these nocturnal visitors. If this happens, then you have really cracked it.

103 ?
It would be a very rare place indeed that has not been home to mankind before. In your meditations, start to focus on the people who went before you. Try to get a sense of them – who were they ? what did they do ? Depending on your sensitivity, you may also get a sense of the Nature Spirits in your place. You may sense energies around you.

I think that is enough to give you a sense that wicca is for you or not, as the case might be. No “spells”, no rituals, no rede. Just you firmly established as part of the Land. Where you take this is now up to you. Good Luck on your journey !
__

NorwegianWiccaGirl
04-07-2011, 10:10 AM
Thanks for the advice, it's nice that people want to help :)
When it comes to Witchcraft, I've been "a witch" my entire life... without knowing it.
I casted spells, made my own.. sort of... rituals, and went out at night to look at the full moon.

I just thought that I was mad, really, until I discovered Wicca.
My mother though I was playing Harry Potter, and that's what I wanted her to believe...
But now, it's different, I'm older - and I'm reading about serious Witchcraft... she is beginning to understand that I'm serious.

I've always been different than others.
I'm not even thinking the same way my friends are. I'm more mature, I love nature and animals...
So when I discovered Wicca, I felt that I finally had found myself.

I've been doing magic my entire life, but I thought it was just something I believed. Appearently, there's a whole world who believes the same as I do... :)

But you are right, I should find out what I believe. I have, but I need to think about it, too.
I'm going to read as much as I can.

But if my mother says I have to quit... I won't listen to her.
Because this is me. I just want her to be happy for me...

Wow, I wrote alot.. Well, I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this...
Until now! ;)
(Hope you understand my English...)

norseman
04-07-2011, 10:57 AM
OK, nuff said NWG. I am glad you took it in the way it was intended :smile:, seems like you already have the bases covered :smile: Just you talk away ! Lot more people will talk to you from the various different time zones I am sure.

"(Hope you understand my English...)" :D I understand the Americans so you are easy to understand :D

Stellar_Steve
04-07-2011, 11:50 AM
Hey NWG - First, congratulations on finding a spiritual path for yourself. I would suggest that if you feel that you need to tell your mom, just explain it to her as you have here. Your passion and honesty really come through and hopefully that would be enough so that she wouldn't be upset at the path you have chosen (or the path that has chosen you).

Stellar_Steve
04-07-2011, 11:57 AM
SO YOU FEEL DRAWN TO WICCA ?

Something inside you is telling you that you want to explore wicca.. You immediately want to do something about it but don’t know what.
Now I should explain that I began in wicca before reverting to an older, more primitive form [ picture Norse slouching along in the hedgerows with straw and twigs in his beard ! ] and I am still a Moderator in a Wiccan Forum.

So, here is Grandad Norsey’s guide to starting out in wicca.

It's a fair generalisation that all pagan paths are “green” and accented to the Earth. Tree Huggers all ! If you are not drawn to Nature, you might want to think about that.

Ok, lets make the assumption that you are one of Nature’s Children and you have a place in nature that uplifts you. Doesn’t have to be somewhere grand and glorious, just somewhere special to you.
You should now start to learn all about your place – the flora and fauna, the weather patterns, the geology, the rivers and streams, the wheel of the seasons, the people who went before [ I’ve been doing that for over 35 years and still only scratched the surface but then I am a fanatic ! ]. What you are aiming for is a sense of belonging, a sense that you are part of it, a sense that your place has imprinted on you, a sense that this is your Land !

Next step. Declare yourself in your Land. Make a promise to protect it. You can make this as simple as you like or you could make a simple altar [ flat piece of rock ] and dedicate to Mother Earth. Start making a record of your experiences and what you have learned – your BOS.

And there you are, Wicca 101. More ? Wicca 102 ?
This requires a certain level of practice in meditation – lets assume you have this.
Now start regular meditations in your place. Stick with it, it may take some time, but eventually you will start to notice things you missed before. Not suggesting that you do this but I did overnight vigils in my place which is a small offshoot of one of the Yorkshire Dales. One of the things you might see is the nocturnal life of the place. If you do this often enough, you will be accepted as a part of the place by these nocturnal visitors. If this happens, then you have really cracked it.

103 ?
It would be a very rare place indeed that has not been home to mankind before. In your meditations, start to focus on the people who went before you. Try to get a sense of them – who were they ? what did they do ? Depending on your sensitivity, you may also get a sense of the Nature Spirits in your place. You may sense energies around you.

I think that is enough to give you a sense that wicca is for you or not, as the case might be. No “spells”, no rituals, no rede. Just you firmly established as part of the Land. Where you take this is now up to you. Good Luck on your journey !
__

Hey Norseman - truly enjoyed this! Great information! :icon_thumleft:

NorwegianWiccaGirl
04-07-2011, 12:50 PM
I'll just wait and see...
I can't tell her, thats for sure. She got mad when I told her about a book I wanted to read...
It was about paganism.. But I told her that she doesen't know anything about it, and I do, so she calmed down.

But, I'll just hope for the best! :)

norseman
04-07-2011, 12:55 PM
I would have thought Norway was like Britain - pagan soul ! :smile: Only christian skin-deep.

NorwegianWiccaGirl
04-07-2011, 12:59 PM
Hey NWG - First, congratulations on finding a spiritual path for yourself. I would suggest that if you feel that you need to tell your mom, just explain it to her as you have here. Your passion and honesty really come through and hopefully that would be enough so that she wouldn't be upset at the path you have chosen (or the path that has chosen you).

Yeah - maybe explaining how I feel will convince her this is right for me... She is not a spiritual person at all, but anyway... :)
I'll tell the truth if she asks me, but she won't. She is afraid of the answer, I guess.

NorwegianWiccaGirl
04-07-2011, 01:04 PM
I would have thought Norway was like Britain - pagan soul ! :smile: Only christian skin-deep.

I live in a VERY small place, and there are mostly atheists here. No one here believes in spirituality, so i doubt there are any Wiccans here.
But I'm not going to live here for the rest of my life... :)

indoorFlakes
04-07-2011, 03:14 PM
Thanks for the advice, it's nice that people want to help :)
When it comes to Witchcraft, I've been "a witch" my entire life... without knowing it.
I casted spells, made my own.. sort of... rituals, and went out at night to look at the full moon.

I just thought that I was mad, really, until I discovered Wicca.
My mother though I was playing Harry Potter, and that's what I wanted her to believe...
But now, it's different, I'm older - and I'm reading about serious Witchcraft... she is beginning to understand that I'm serious.

I've always been different than others.
I'm not even thinking the same way my friends are. I'm more mature, I love nature and animals...
So when I discovered Wicca, I felt that I finally had found myself.

I've been doing magic my entire life, but I thought it was just something I believed. Appearently, there's a whole world who believes the same as I do... :)

But you are right, I should find out what I believe. I have, but I need to think about it, too.
I'm going to read as much as I can.

But if my mother says I have to quit... I won't listen to her.
Because this is me. I just want her to be happy for me...

Wow, I wrote alot.. Well, I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this...
Until now! ;)
(Hope you understand my English...)

i think you really have yer head on your shoulders.... good on ya!....

NorwegianWiccaGirl
04-07-2011, 05:50 PM
Hahah, maybe, maybe not ;)

Enya
04-07-2011, 06:53 PM
A parent worries about their child being drawn into cults or being lead 'astray' by bad influences. When it comes to paganism, wicca, witchcraft... you may have the stereotypes to fight against before you can convince her you're serious. Going by my own experience, I'd want to know details and have some kind of proof that you are serious about your beliefs and practices, not likely to get into harmful situations and most of all, not likely to meet weirdos off the 'Net! :wink:

Have you heard of the Pagan Federation? www.paganfed.org (http://www.paganfed.org) has lots of clear information and leaflets/books etc. There may be something there to help you with your mum. You might even just point her to the page on Wicca... :smile:

Hope that helps. xx

NorwegianWiccaGirl
04-07-2011, 07:00 PM
Thanks! :)

Hazel
10-07-2011, 10:28 AM
Hey, i had the same problem with my mum - she's still claiming im going through a phase cause she's a non-strict chrisitian. At first i just told her it was something im intrested in and then few months back i told her firmly that i am Wiccan and even if she dosent like it she cant change my mind. It sorta worked for me she did get a bit annoyed though :)

DoctorSatan
17-07-2011, 12:58 AM
you can just say
"Mommy, I'm a Wiccan. So deal."
you probably shouldn't be taking my advice though.

musartnova
17-07-2011, 03:35 AM
Why does your mother need to know ?
sometimes things are best unknown...

why does anyone need to know....
the only person that need to know is you...

then again...i don't know nothing.....

Caretaker
20-07-2011, 06:32 PM
*this is probably not for the faint of heart and though it may appear rough I truly mean it with as much respect as I can.'

The reason why you seek to tell your mother is because you desire her approval. We all have a complex in our mind that makes us (or made us at one point) desire approval from other's, often from mentors or parents. The reason we have this complex is because we have not fully approved of ourselves. When we can accept and approve of ourselves we no longer need outside acknowledgement of our actions.

This approval of ourself is more vast then it appears. It involves being truly honest with ourselves, truly forgiving ourselves (both our person and our actions). To be honest with ourselves the first step is to realize that we all make mistakes that we are but a product of the world before us, everything we do is because of the accumulated karma of the world. This also will allow us to forgive ourselves, especially when we realilze that when we point a finger towards someone else we have three pointing back. When we accuse another of doing a wrong we are really desiring to accuse ourselves of the wrongs we have done. But because of our selfish complex (which is part of no being honest with ourselves) it's easier to hurt another then consciously hurt ourselves in that particular way. We don't want to face our own evils within. This is merely some parts of the process of inner appreciation and is very much a personal journey. No one can lead anyone through the doorway, especially a doorway like this, the path is our own to take when we are ready to take it.

And even when we get so far, we still have a very long way to go. I'm not hear saying that I'm free of these types of problems, merely that I'm aware of what it takes, but it still takes a great deal more then I'm aware of but i knew enough to continue from where i am, as you know enough to continue from where you are (on your spiritual journey to feeling content). I also do not intent to say you are a bad person or anything of the sort or to Judge you or your actions. I'm only trying to help you understand a part of your actions, a part of the root, the core of them. Which their is more to them then that, especially since its a very personal journey. But the doorway is already infront of you, as it is infront of us all. Our eyes are just covered in ancient dust which we need to remove before we can see the door, once we see the door then we can enter the grass on the other side. But its not over then, no no no, it's only just begun.

Peace
Caretaker

- Ignite the Soul

CelestialRain
30-07-2011, 04:14 PM
Whatever happens, truly believe what you truly believe.

tell your mother because it's always best to clear blocks in your life which prevents negative energy. even if it causes bad things to happen, it's fine that you have the situation over with, right? don't let others interfere with your personal beliefs. even if she doesn't allow it, don't allow that to stop you.

you can tell your mother slowly by giving subtle hints of your interests over the course of days, weeks, even months. once she gets used to these little tidbits of information that you are interested in and begins to accept it, is when you should tell her, maybe more "subtly" and watered-down than a simple "I am Wiccan."

Good luck!

earthprowler
30-07-2011, 04:24 PM
my whole life has been a bunch of zigs and zags, this and that. i did practice witchcraft for many years and loved it even though my mother was convinced (die hard Catholic) i was gonna get into black magick. lol. you can only do what makes you happy, not everyone else and if that's it, then go for it. as i grew i found i could incorporate it into my life in other things i delved into. love your self and do what you need to do. :hug2:

Riboflavin
30-07-2011, 05:06 PM
I wouldn't tell her, or anyone else. From personal experience ive always found that saying anything about what i believe tends to be a mistake. Its sad when your friends think your crazy, they dont listen to anything you say because they believe that its a delusion, even when its normal stuff like telling them about how you went to a concert or that you won a poker game, and even though you never once lie, exaggerate, etc.. and even though every time you prove that what you say is true. It wont matter, they will hold it against you for years as a reason to distrust everything you say.

Its sad because i cant even talk to my own father about something i read in a news article without him thinking im making it up. Same with my best friend and every other friend that ive lost over the years because ive opened my stupid mouth.

As a general rule, dont talk about
1) Religion
2) Politics
3) Any kind of supernatural experience or phenomena

Lostgirl
30-07-2011, 09:18 PM
I completely get why you want to tell her. I am so close to my mum and i share everything with her! I havent told her in as many words about my paganism, but i said to her that i had been doing alot of reading into it - which i had been, adn that i had a choice between the two religions (chritianity or paganism) i would say i am pagan :) She was fully accepting and i think she kinda knows thats who i am!
All your mum wants you to be is happy :)

Hazel
07-08-2011, 12:20 PM
I wouldn't tell her, or anyone else. From personal experience ive always found that saying anything about what i believe tends to be a mistake. Its sad when your friends think your crazy, they dont listen to anything you say because they believe that its a delusion, even when its normal stuff like telling them about how you went to a concert or that you won a poker game, and even though you never once lie, exaggerate, etc.. and even though every time you prove that what you say is true. It wont matter, they will hold it against you for years as a reason to distrust everything you say.

Its sad because i cant even talk to my own father about something i read in a news article without him thinking im making it up. Same with my best friend and every other friend that ive lost over the years because ive opened my stupid mouth.

As a general rule, dont talk about
1) Religion
2) Politics
3) Any kind of supernatural experience or phenomena

Im not arguing here but what you say isnt exactly true some peopel are exepting to it - personaly i have best freind with whom i chat endlesly about supernatural stuff with, not exactly Wicca but still supernatural stuff :angel8:

AdzPower
23-08-2011, 11:56 PM
Take the time to actually explain it to your mother, lots of people associate bad things but if you can properly explain it then im sure she'll be fine.

LadyMoondancer
24-08-2011, 08:38 AM
Same with my best friend and every other friend that ive lost over the years because ive opened my stupid mouth.

As a general rule, dont talk about
1) Religion
2) Politics
3) Any kind of supernatural experience or phenomena

Riboflavin:
Sounds like you need new friends - people who have open minds and respect you. And I would drop those "friends" who won't let you express your own dam beliefs and feelings. Your mouth is not stupid - neither are you.
And as for your list of prohibited topics, as a general rule thumb, those topics really shouldn't be discussed in depth with general acquaintances, co-workers, or strangers. But I have had wonderful in-depth discussions on those topics with some family members, a couple of co-workers, and friends that respect me.

mattie
24-08-2011, 09:59 AM
You’re not obligated to tell her everything you are into. You can describe your spiritual interests w/o using words that will be alarming to her. This isn’t all that hard to do. If she notices you reading a particular book you can just say that you’re curious about different belief systems. You can call it an Earth oriented religion, like some of the honored older ancient ones.

When discussing spiritual issues w/ others it is an ethical responsibility not to overload them w/ too much unfamiliar information. Some thrive on huge amounts of new information while others need new information, particularly that which can cause them to react negatively in very small tidbits.

Riboflavin
24-08-2011, 12:05 PM
Riboflavin:
Sounds like you need new friends - people who have open minds and respect you. And I would drop those "friends" who won't let you express your own dam beliefs and feelings. Your mouth is not stupid - neither are you.
And as for your list of prohibited topics, as a general rule thumb, those topics really shouldn't be discussed in depth with general acquaintances, co-workers, or strangers. But I have had wonderful in-depth discussions on those topics with some family members, a couple of co-workers, and friends that respect me.
Wish i could attract such friends. For me, such people are rare. Its probably obvious now because of what i said earlier in this thread but ive had more than my fair share of bad experiences in that way.. although i am happy for anyone who cannot relate to what im saying. I might be envious if i could relate to it in any way, but even imagining it is a little beyond me right now.

LadyMoondancer
24-08-2011, 04:50 PM
Wish i could attract such friends. For me, such people are rare. Its probably obvious now because of what i said earlier in this thread but ive had more than my fair share of bad experiences in that way.. although i am happy for anyone who cannot relate to what im saying. I might be envious if i could relate to it in any way, but even imagining it is a little beyond me right now.

Well Ribo, I've had some bad experiences as well. And sometimes true friends are hard to find. And sometimes even when you think you have found them - they turn on you. I had a bad experience with a very good "friend" stab me and my hubby in the back big time in 2003. And in the past few years, severed ties with a 30 year friendship because it was obvious her value system was not on par with mine. I always had a dislike of her mooching, and not respecting my stuff - I've always had to work hard at my job for what I have - and she was always on welfare and just learned how to say "gimme gimme" and take and take and take. (not putting welfare recipients in general down) -and in the past 10 years, she's gotten outrageous - milking the system for all its worth, getting fired from a job because of her arrogance, then not even bothering to get another one. And her new drug problem hasn't helped our friendship either. So I said goodbye to all that.

So I really don't have any close friends, not like a gal pal where I can hang out with anymore. And sometimes that bothers me, but on the whole I'm pretty happy. And I love facebook - I've reconnected with long lost relatives, and just have a ball!

well, hugs to you Ribo - hang in there. When the time is right and the person(s) is/are right - you'll find people you can be honest and forthright with. In the meantime, ya got us guys here on the forum! :hug3: