CoffeeGem
01-07-2011, 12:57 AM
Hi Everyone,
My father died when I was young and I did not know much about him. I do know that he was married to someone else when my mom had me and that the situation was complicated. I went through the usual growing pains of being fatherless until a few years ago I really came to terms with it all. Since mom never discussed him or his other family much, I had no idea about pertinent things about him. I have illnesses my mom's side of the family does not have, etc.
This afternoon while at work, of all places, I got a spiritual nudge to google my father's name. What I got was an obituary for his oldest son who passed away last year, who was a Jr. It was a full obit that mentioned dad's name and this half brother's siblings names. I showed my mom just to be sure and she confirmed it was him. I finally know my dad's full name! I know that sounds strange but I searched for him, any information about him since...probably since the personal computer was put into every home in America. Lol.
I went a little further and found my half sister who is on Facebook! It's her, the high school she attended matches up, etc. We even have the same smile and eyes. I have no intention of contacting her or any of them. What's done is done.
I did get a glimpse into the lives of the son that recently passed and the daughter. This has to be the biggest mystery of my life and I feel like it has been solved but I also feel extremely sad. It has been so long since I allowed myself to think about him. What's funny is, two weeks ago I was talking with someone about Father's Day and I told someone, "I don't have a father." I have felt fatherless most of my life and that day makes me a little snarky.
I am getting a feeling this a is good time for closure. Lately things I have been searching for for years, the answers have come to me.
I am trying my best to move this summer. Why did this happen now? Perhaps, this is something I do not need to take with me to the new place? Providing I do get to move. Lol.
Thanks for reading. Insights much appreciated.
CoffeeGem
My father died when I was young and I did not know much about him. I do know that he was married to someone else when my mom had me and that the situation was complicated. I went through the usual growing pains of being fatherless until a few years ago I really came to terms with it all. Since mom never discussed him or his other family much, I had no idea about pertinent things about him. I have illnesses my mom's side of the family does not have, etc.
This afternoon while at work, of all places, I got a spiritual nudge to google my father's name. What I got was an obituary for his oldest son who passed away last year, who was a Jr. It was a full obit that mentioned dad's name and this half brother's siblings names. I showed my mom just to be sure and she confirmed it was him. I finally know my dad's full name! I know that sounds strange but I searched for him, any information about him since...probably since the personal computer was put into every home in America. Lol.
I went a little further and found my half sister who is on Facebook! It's her, the high school she attended matches up, etc. We even have the same smile and eyes. I have no intention of contacting her or any of them. What's done is done.
I did get a glimpse into the lives of the son that recently passed and the daughter. This has to be the biggest mystery of my life and I feel like it has been solved but I also feel extremely sad. It has been so long since I allowed myself to think about him. What's funny is, two weeks ago I was talking with someone about Father's Day and I told someone, "I don't have a father." I have felt fatherless most of my life and that day makes me a little snarky.
I am getting a feeling this a is good time for closure. Lately things I have been searching for for years, the answers have come to me.
I am trying my best to move this summer. Why did this happen now? Perhaps, this is something I do not need to take with me to the new place? Providing I do get to move. Lol.
Thanks for reading. Insights much appreciated.
CoffeeGem