Negativity is becoming a game

[moke64916]

Everyday for the last year, I have experienced love and fear, intense fear. I feel like I've been thrown around like a rag doll, lol. I've been through it SO much and SO often, that it's becoming a game for me. I do not care if I feel fear. Negativity is now like a game to me. I've experienced it so much that I am just going to manipulate it. When I realized that, I just started crying out of love. Fear no longer scares me. I might feel it in my body, but I can be in peace now. Or laugh about it. I can stay happy during the midst. Fear might feel bad, and glumy, but it always passes. I don't fear fear anymore. lol. And it's wonderful knowing that. What are your guys thoughts on the subject fear? How do or did you learn to get past all your fears?

[psychoslice]

I just learnt to be here, Now, if there is something happening that may upset me i just deal with it there and Now, this way there is no fear that is kept for the so call future to come back to, fear is usually from the past and even the so called future, be always in the moment and there is no fear.

[Gracey]

i have been though a lot the past couple of years, a lot of fear was put apon me. the other day i was in the same situation with the person who puts this on me, and i felt ****** and fearful. then i knew i have had so much of it, that i dont want it any more and in that instant, i changed my emotions to peace and joy.....and had a wonderful night sleep and have been feeling that way since. sometimes enough is enough. ;)

[blackraven]

Everyday for the last year, I have experienced love and fear, intense fear. I feel like I've been thrown around like a rag doll, lol. I've been through it SO much and SO often, that it's becoming a game for me. I do not care if I feel fear. Negativity is now like a game to me. I've experienced it so much that I am just going to manipulate it. When I realized that, I just started crying out of love. Fear no longer scares me. I might feel it in my body, but I can be in peace now. Or laugh about it. I can stay happy during the midst. Fear might feel bad, and glumy, but it always passes. I don't fear fear anymore. lol. And it's wonderful knowing that. What are your guys thoughts on the subject fear? How do or did you learn to get past all your fears?

moke - I agree with psychoslice. I also want to add that from my own experience that when you try to protect yourself and hide from your fears, the more the universe sends those types of situations you actually fear your way. It would seem there are lessons to be learned in facing your fears head on and dealing with them to put them to rest so that you can free yourself from the anxieties that go along with trying to avoid them.

You mentioned negativity being a game. It is easy to be negative when you are losing control and not facing your fears. That's because you're not in the driver's seat anymore and it leaves you feeling angry and frustrated. I speak again from personal experience. The real game is to become positive. Life is full of opportunities to feel positive. Take a personal inventory and write down all the things that you are thankful for. Write down all your talents. Write down all the things you want to do. Keep your mind focused on your "positive" lists. Don't let your mind focus on the things that haunt you, but rather focus your energy on all your wonderful attributes. Take care my friend. :hug2:

Blackraven

[moke64916]

I'm in the moment all day until 3P.M. I feel wonderful everyday in the mornings. My problem is physiological and out of my control. I have heart problems and it gives me a false fear response. I've cleared all of my fears believe me. It's all physiological. All I can do is find peace during the midst.

[Gracey]

i was just reading how lemons are great for the heart.

[lumas]

there is nothing we need to fear on this earthplane absoloutly nothing, and if something hurts or kills us we just do it all again so you see fear nothing because there is nothing to fear sorry i could repeat this all night...

[blackraven]

I'm in the moment all day until 3P.M. I feel wonderful everyday in the mornings. My problem is physiological and out of my control. I have heart problems and it gives me a false fear response. I've cleared all of my fears believe me. It's all physiological. All I can do is find peace during the midst.

moke - At 32 I woke up in the ICU after having open-heart surgery for a heart valve defect I was born with. I had been given 3-5 years to live without the surgery. So I'm very familiar with heart problems and am most sympathetic. I used to have a lot of anxiety when my heart wasn't functioning properly. When I went into surgery I was so tired of fighting my own ups and downs that I didn't act as though I was putting a lot of fight into my quest to survive surgery. But my family gave me strength to fight for life and I'm typing this as living proof that I survived. Dugh. My life changed drastically after surviving echmo and the padles as I had a near death experience. After returning I had a new lease on life. I became spiritual, took up my love for painting, wrote poetry and prose, left a dead-end job, and found life to be much more positive. I'm rambling at this point. Just wanted to say that I'm a fellow heart patient and know where you're coming from. :hug:

Blackraven

[moke64916]

I know it's not fear by thought. If it were I would feel it in my stomach. I feel this physical fear response just in my heart. It is a false fear response because of my heart. It feels like fear, but it's physiological. I am not resisting anything. I know resisting is what causes negativity. I don't even think it is real negativity anymore. It just feels like it because of the physical response. I still need to have an operation where they look at my heart close up and put me under. I will learn how to cope. For now they have me on beta-blockers for my heart. It helps the chest pain. I just don't want anyone thinking that I'm resisting anything like fear by thought, because I'm not. This problem is out of my control. It's more of a survival response than anything.

[Sarian]

First off (((((((((((((((((((blackraven))))))))))))))))))))) )) Your story is an inspiration, thank you for sharing. I believe that attitude is everything.

Moke, I deal with a lot of negativity. I try to banish it from my thoughts, and honestly it is hard when I have people crushing me with theirs and out to harm me in various ways. Like you, every morning I wake up with a new lease on life. I feel hopeful, full of love and life, looking forward to the day, my life, and so on. Then the tape starts or someone in my life puts fear and sadness back into me, worry, anxiety. I have to then battle with that the rest of the day. Sometimes successful, sometimes not. Other times I will get flashbacks or memories of sort...Like my mind remembers a grievious or fearful mood, if you will, even if I can't recall the actual incident, sometimes I do, but mostly it's a feeling. But years of practice, in baby steps, and sometimes huge steps, it gets easier, and after my life change I'm going through now, I believe there will be a huge difference in negativity or lack of those blasted thoughts and emotions. Chin up, think positive as much as you can.

[Internal Queries]

how cool, moke! you know it's physiological so you know it's not real fear so you're not really fearful.

you control your emotions by employing your intellect?

[moke64916]

First off (((((((((((((((((((blackraven))))))))))))))))))))) )) Your story is an inspiration, thank you for sharing. I believe that attitude is everything.

Moke, I deal with a lot of negativity. I try to banish it from my thoughts, and honestly it is hard when I have people crushing me with theirs and out to harm me in various ways. Like you, every morning I wake up with a new lease on life. I feel hopeful, full of love and life, looking forward to the day, my life, and so on. Then the tape starts or someone in my life puts fear and sadness back into me, worry, anxiety. I have to then battle with that the rest of the day. Sometimes successful, sometimes not. Other times I will get flashbacks or memories of sort...Like my mind remembers a grievious or fearful mood, if you will, even if I can't recall the actual incident, sometimes I do, but mostly it's a feeling. But years of practice, in baby steps, and sometimes huge steps, it gets easier, and after my life change I'm going through now, I believe there will be a huge difference in negativity or lack of those blasted thoughts and emotions. Chin up, think positive as much as you can.
Thank you very much for your post. I feel the exact same way. Positive, loving, ready for the day. Then comes around 3P.M. is when things physically start to feel bad. I know it is physiological. The false fear response because of my heart brings me out of the moment. When I am out of the moment is when thoughts start to occur. I feel bliss, love, joy, peace until around 2:30P.M., then it's like wam! My heart acts up. Or if I walk up the stairs and down fast, a normal body would breath harder to catch air. My body forgets to breath despite needing air. I also then feel a fear response. It's to breath. I have to force myself to breath, and a normal body would automatically breath deeper. Me, no. Plus my medication makes my body overheat and not be able to cool down normally rather a normal persons body would cool itself down. I have to take cold showers or put ice on my arteries. And I'm only 21 years old. But I don't care. I am happy right now, as always in the mornings. I know that physiologically I might suddenly get a false fear response and energy drop. I know that ahead of time. So Today I'm going to try to stay peaceful during it. Kind of hard when it is a physical problem. When my heart acts up, it must do something with blood flow or something that makes it harder to stay present in the moment.
The heart controls everything. I really do relate to you. I know that once I am past this problem I will be stronger. Everytime I go through it I become stronger mentally. It is said that the brain needs some resistance to mentally grow stronger, just like physical exercise(resistance) for muscles to grow stronger. I am a trooper and will make it. This is not the worst issue I have dealt with. When I have 8 stable days, I am so happy,m so present all the time. It's funny how I can feel bliss in the mornings then the opposite in the afternoons 3-5 is the most unpleasant time. Then I feel a little better after that. Thank you for your post. I really related to you. :hug3:

[Internal Queries]

so how about you get into a nice cool bath around 2:45 pm and relax and wait out the bummer period of the day?

[moke64916]

how cool, moke! you know it's physiological so you know it's not real fear so you're not really fearful.

you control your emotions by employing your intellect?
Yes. I know it is physiological. So today I will keep it logical. I will laugh about it when or if it happens today. Your right. It's just that that heart problem will instantly bring me out of the present moment because the heart controls everything. When I am not present in the moment is when things go haywire. So what do you suggest to find peace knowing I might be out of the moment? Know that and accept it? Accept that I may not be present in the moment? I think that is what I need to do. Accept it and forgive it.

[moke64916]

so how about you get into a nice cool bath around 2:45 pm and relax and wait out the bummer period of the day?
Good thinking. I love you I just want to let you know again. Your awesome. So is everyone on this site.:hug3:

[Internal Queries]

Good thinking. I love you I just want to let you know again. Your awesome. So is everyone on this site.:hug3:


cool! give it a try. i mean, it's a physical problem so there's only so much about it your can control mentally/emotionally so there's no point in fighting with it. meditating or relaxing with a book in a cool bath in the afternoon might be a good way to mitigate your 3 pm discomfort. **fingers crossed**

i Love you too, moke. :hug3:

[Spiritlite]

Wow you gave me a new perspective of fear as many times I'm in fear, and like you said it passes.
Spiritlite.

[moke64916]

cool! give it a try. i mean, it's a physical problem so there's only so much about it your can control mentally/emotionally so there's no point in fighting with it. meditating or relaxing with a book in a cool bath in the afternoon might be a good way to mitigate your 3 pm discomfort. **fingers crossed**

i Love you too, moke. :hug3:
Yesterday I knew ahead of time that it might happen. I accepted it. I did not resist. I took a cold bath. Later on that day. My inner self made itself known. I got a pen and started writing in my journal. I was receiving great information. Later on around 4:30 I became intensely present in the moment. I then felt bliss from 4:30-6:00 P.M. It felt wonderful. I was present in the moment. Which is a change because usually in the evening hours I might be a little unconscious. I felt wonderful. So yesterday I was in peace during the midst of it. I was not in a false fear state. Thank you.:hug3:

[Rivendoah]

In the last five or so years I have experienced levels of fear so intense that I would not have thought it possible at my age. I thought I had dealt with most of my fears in life... conquered them... released them... looked at fear and saw that it was for the most part just raw emotion based on fearful thinking... the things I feared or worried about never happened... of if they did I found that they were not so bad... not the end of the world for me...

Then at the age of 45 the world as I knew it was pulled out from under my feet... my brother took his own life... in a very terrible way... that left doubts about the way he died... was he killed or did he take his own life... suddenly I was faced with questions that I thought had long ago answered... suddenly the question where no longer academic... but felt more like being punched in the gut...

Then just months after that devastating event I was faced with another... on New Years day of that year... I was looking for a fresh start... a new beginning... starting down the road of putting grief and loss behind me... then we were hit again... at 1:30PM on new years day in the afternoon we realized our neighbors home across the street from us was on fire... we called the fire department...they came... and they pulled the family from the basement... they were dead... at first we thought it was because of the fire... but the fire had been set to cover the fact they they had been murdered...

I can't begin to explain what this experience was like... the level of fear and horror that overwhelmed us... at first it was just raw fear... the surety that there were people outside our home ready to kill us... it was not rational... it was not sane... I would awake at night over and over again walking from door to window checking the alarm... checking all the locks... looking out the windows, sure I would see someone there trying to get in and kill our family... this lasted for months... in the form of post traumatic stress... hyper vigilance... trusting no one I did not know... the physical sensations of this kind of fear are intense... constant adrenaline... dry mouth... sweaty palms... a tingling sensation through out the body... jumping at loud noises... always on guard...

I did not think it was possible to experience such a high level of fear for such a prolonged period of time... there is no way to control it either... not when you are in the middle of it... I felt a deep sense of responsibility for my family... that if the moment came... it would be up to me to kill if I had to... die if I had to... hurt and maim and destroy another life if I had to... to save them...

In time the fear lessened... but it has never gone away completely... I have rationalized it away with the spiritual interpretations of what death is really about... that we do not die really... my spirit understands this... however my mind still struggles... my body... my emotions... they will never forget that day... a bright and lovely day when horror and fear made even the beauty of a sunny and warm afternoon into intolerable darkness and fear...

The world has never been the same for me since... the world is a much darker place... and even the moments of love and joy are tempered by this knowledge... you keep going... one step in front of the other... life goes on... you work... you live... you love... but fear has been made real in a way that can't be denied...

But having gone through this... I finally reached a point when screamed at the sky... shaking my fist... refusing to be afraid anymore... I will not let it control me... bring it on... all that you can do is kill me... you can break my body... but not my spirit...

I feel for your pain Moke... and I understand how devastating fear can be... I am glad you have worked through it...

[moke64916]

Thank you :hug3:

[Emmalevine]

Oh gosh Rivendoah, I'm so sorry for that horrific experience. I can only imagine how terrifying that was, how dark that day felt, and the fear that stays with you day in and day out since. I admire your spirit for refusing to let it overtake you, but understand on a mind and body level how hard it must be to keep going having experienced the ultimate evil in your world. I just wanted to say I hear you.

Moke, fear is a hard thing to dapple with, and there are no easy answers as you know. It sounds as though you live in the now when you can to ease the feeling, but it's hard. I fel afraid when I consider my future; my ill health, my disabled and very dependent child. I manage it by bringing my attention back to the present as much as I can. Of course, sometimes I have to consider the future, plan, save, consider, all the rest of it - but if I can keep focussing on the present moment foremost, it feels more managable. Hope you find a way too. Thinking of you.

[moke64916]

Oh gosh Rivendoah, I'm so sorry for that horrific experience. I can only imagine how terrifying that was, how dark that day felt, and the fear that stays with you day in and day out since. I admire your spirit for refusing to let it overtake you, but understand on a mind and body level how hard it must be to keep going having experienced the ultimate evil in your world. I just wanted to say I hear you.

Moke, fear is a hard thing to dapple with, and there are no easy answers as you know. It sounds as though you live in the now when you can to ease the feeling, but it's hard. I fel afraid when I consider my future; my ill health, my disabled and very dependent child. I manage it by bringing my attention back to the present as much as I can. Of course, sometimes I have to consider the future, plan, save, consider, all the rest of it - but if I can keep focussing on the present moment foremost, it feels more managable. Hope you find a way too. Thinking of you.

Those fears you have should be met with surrender then Present in the moment. If it is just present in the moment, those fears might come back when you are not present. I've learned that through my experience. When I surrendered to what is peace comes over me, and it brings me present in the moment again, with a fear cleared out of my conscious.


Rivendoah I am sorry about your story. You are a trooper. We both have experienced fear at it's highest level. Fear of Death. One time in the past I believed I was getting a heart attack from chest complications. I thought I was dying. I was fearful, then I was in peace. It wasn't a heart attack. But when you get heart pains it is kind of scary. Or was scary. The heart complications give you a false fear in the heart Charkra. It's all false. So I can watch it happen Being as my inner self in peace now. I'm glad you got over your fears as well.

[3dnow]

Everyday for the last year, I have experienced love and fear, intense fear. I feel like I've been thrown around like a rag doll, lol. I've been through it SO much and SO often, that it's becoming a game for me. I do not care if I feel fear. Negativity is now like a game to me. I've experienced it so much that I am just going to manipulate it. When I realized that, I just started crying out of love. Fear no longer scares me. I might feel it in my body, but I can be in peace now. Or laugh about it. I can stay happy during the midst. Fear might feel bad, and glumy, but it always passes. I don't fear fear anymore. lol. And it's wonderful knowing that. What are your guys thoughts on the subject fear? How do or did you learn to get past all your fears?

Moke this sounds really really cool. I will try that. So you don't care if you fear you just feel and watch it right? and say no problem with fear. Fear is OK. Right?

3dnow

[moke64916]

When you experience enough of it, it longer has control over you. It has no power. If I feel it coming I just laugh about it. I can stay happy during the midst. In actuality as soon as you choose to love it, it is Jo longer fear. Thats why I say love all emotions and you will stay happy.

[3dnow]

When you experience enough of it, it longer has control over you. It has no power. If I feel it coming I just laugh about it. I can stay happy during the midst. In actuality as soon as you choose to love it, it is Jo longer fear. Thats why I say love all emotions and you will stay happy.

Yes it works thanks.

3dnow

[moke64916]

Yes it works thanks.

3dnow
No problem. I'm here on earth to help people in anyway. Through my experiences it enables me to help people, because likelihood is I've experienced what others are going through. I'm just glad I am able to help in any way. It does work right? It really feels like it is not negativity when you laugh about it and keep a positive attitude about it. No one would experience negativity if they did not label it as a bad thing. Thinking negativity is bad feeds it. I've come to the conclusion that if you love all emotions you will no longer experience negativity.

Trick is to love all emotions.

[3dnow]

No problem. I'm here on earth to help people in anyway. Through my experiences it enables me to help people, because likelihood is I've experienced what others are going through. I'm just glad I am able to help in any way. It does work right? It really feels like it is not negativity when you laugh about it and keep a positive attitude about it. No one would experience negativity if they did not label it as a bad thing. Thinking negativity is bad feeds it. I've come to the conclusion that if you love all emotions you will no longer experience negativity.

Trick is to love all emotions.

Yes these really make sense to me. Your trick really works, within an hour of practice I started to enjoy fear when it comes. Btw, I can feel the energies in my body, and when I fear bad energies enter (which make me even more fearful). When I declared that I enjoy fear, a huge amount of energy on my back dissolved (disappeared).

3dnow

[mattie]

You're practically a next door neighbor in this global community. I'm in NW La.

Sounds like you may be having some energetic debris continually resurfacing. It needs to be actively discharged. This & moving past fear is a learned skill.

Discharging Energetic Refuse That Arises As We Expand Our Consciousness- http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?p=189540#post189540

Fear Deconstructed- http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?p=156009#post156009

[moke64916]

You're practically a next door neighbor in this global community. I'm in NW La.

Sounds like you may be having some energetic debris continually resurfacing. It needs to be actively discharged. This & moving past fear is a learned skill.

Discharging Energetic Refuse That Arises As We Expand Our Consciousness- http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?p=189540#post189540

Fear Deconstructed- http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?p=156009#post156009

I agree. The mind does need some resistance in order to grow and become stronger. So in a way negativity is a blessing for that it always passes and you become stronger once passed. Me. I've experienced enough of it. Loving all emotions clears negativity instantly. There is also that Tapping. But I think loving all emotions is the best technique. If one experiences enough negativity he is likely to find a solution. I say don't expect it to come, but recognize when it arises so you can love it. It goes away instantaneously if you do so.

[moke64916]

Yes these really make sense to me. Your trick really works, within an hour of practice I started to enjoy fear when it comes. Btw, I can feel the energies in my body, and when I fear bad energies enter (which make me even more fearful). When I declared that I enjoy fear, a huge amount of energy on my back dissolved (disappeared).

3dnow
I'm glad to hear it. It does go away instantly the moment you decide to love it. That is the trick to staying happy. Love all emotions.

[Internal Queries]

clever moke!

[blue*eyed*wolf]

moke - I agree with psychoslice. I also want to add that from my own experience that when you try to protect yourself and hide from your fears, the more the universe sends those types of situations you actually fear your way. It would seem there are lessons to be learned in facing your fears head on and dealing with them to put them to rest so that you can free yourself from the anxieties that go along with trying to avoid them.

You mentioned negativity being a game. It is easy to be negative when you are losing control and not facing your fears. That's because you're not in the driver's seat anymore and it leaves you feeling angry and frustrated. I speak again from personal experience. The real game is to become positive. Life is full of opportunities to feel positive. Take a personal inventory and write down all the things that you are thankful for. Write down all your talents. Write down all the things you want to do. Keep your mind focused on your "positive" lists. Don't let your mind focus on the things that haunt you, but rather focus your energy on all your wonderful attributes. Take care my friend. :hug2:

Blackraven
Very well put.what a good soul you are.:angel8: :angel8: :angel8:

[Mati D]

Dear Moke,
Everyone here is giving a lot of encouragement. It’s up to you who you be. You are not actually the fearful one, unless you choose to identify that way. As you say, you can see it’s the body fearing. The body wants to survive, but who are you? You are actually God. You decide what perspective you’re coming from. You will survive in spirit, even with physical oddities, even with death! You are the one who survives, who lives, who loves, and who chooses what life is about.
Be love instead of fear, Moke. If you really choose to be love, then fear can’t remain. You are the chooser.
If you decide that there’s nothing you can do about it, then that’s what you’ve chosen, and that’s what you’ll experience, being afraid AND being a victim of fear. It’s not true, but it is where you’ve chosen to come from.
We are so powerful. We are little God’s choosing how to respond. So, you know, you could be like Jesus or Gandhi in your heart and mind, feel him there, and feel how he would respond to the body’s fear. I think Jesus would love the people around him and stay on his mission of taking care of everyone, despite the body’s legitimate problems. He is not the one who is afraid, despite fear.
And you aren’t either, unless you want to be. It’s all in where you’re coming from.
Take care, sweetness.
Love,
Mati D

[moke64916]

Dear Moke,
Everyone here is giving a lot of encouragement. It’s up to you who you be. You are not actually the fearful one, unless you choose to identify that way. As you say, you can see it’s the body fearing. The body wants to survive, but who are you? You are actually God. You decide what perspective you’re coming from. You will survive in spirit, even with physical oddities, even with death! You are the one who survives, who lives, who loves, and who chooses what life is about.
Be love instead of fear, Moke. If you really choose to be love, then fear can’t remain. You are the chooser.
If you decide that there’s nothing you can do about it, then that’s what you’ve chosen, and that’s what you’ll experience, being afraid AND being a victim of fear. It’s not true, but it is where you’ve chosen to come from.
We are so powerful. We are little God’s choosing how to respond. So, you know, you could be like Jesus or Gandhi in your heart and mind, feel him there, and feel how he would respond to the body’s fear. I think Jesus would love the people around him and stay on his mission of taking care of everyone, despite the body’s legitimate problems. He is not the one who is afraid, despite fear.
And you aren’t either, unless you want to be. It’s all in where you’re coming from.
Take care, sweetness.
Love,
Mati D
Thank you. I am past fear now. I realized that enough is enough. Plus even if a response comes up, I do not fear anything anymore. I've experienced fear on it's highest levels before. I no longer fear fear. I surrender to what is. Since I have writen this thread, I have not experienced fear anymore. I am love. I feel it everyday. I've learned a lot through my negative experiences. But I've grown stronger. And I am grateful for the fear I felt because I am stronger because of it. It is said that there has to be some resistance on the brain in order for it to grow. Just like muscles. You work out, or put resistance to them, then your muscles become stronger. Same thing with the brain. One must experience who they are not, in order to Remember who they are. I've experienced enough of who I am not. I choose to grow and grow from here on out. And I have grown since I made this thread. I've learned that if you love all emotions you will never feel fear. I've learned that you can find peace with physiological false fear response. Or survival response. I've learned that if I feel fear, I've been through it before so I no longer fear it. If old habits pop up I have the wisdom to know the difference. To accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Lol, they say that in AA meetings. But it is true. I am grateful for the negative times, because if it weren't for them, I would not be who I am today. Loving, positive, full of joy and peace.

[3dnow]

Hi Moke,

What about self forgiving the fear? I think this also very important. Otherwise you may fear yourself, amplifying the fear.

You think your technique includes self forgiving the fear?

3dnow

[childheart]

Fear is mostly the mind's judgements, meaning an illusion. (Unless it has with the instinct to do.) One of my favourite methods to get over feelings of fear (=not having control) is asking myself "what will this mean in a hundred years?" and so far I've never been able to argue against that, since in the big whole, my fears has been kinda pointless!

[moke64916]

Hi Moke,

What about self forgiving the fear? I think this also very important. Otherwise you may fear yourself, amplifying the fear.

You think your technique includes self forgiving the fear?

3dnow
Yes, sense I wrote this thread I have learned how to stay at peace. I guess that is a form of self forgiveness. Or to love the fear, that way it turns into a positive emotion which I guess is self forgiveness as well. I have a heart defect and it sends a false fear response in my heart chakra. It could easily be mistaken for real fear. Yes though. Your spot on. Self forgiveness was key for me for the fear to go away.