how do you behave at christian ceremonies?

[Sungirl]

Please don't think this is a double post, I have also put a similar post in the christian section as I would like their opinions... but I also want to hear what other pagans do.

On friday I went to my husband's cousin's funeral. It was a beautiful christian ceremony, the hymn that was chosen was beautiful, but very christian.

The lord's prayer was also said by the congregation.

I have every respect for their path, and even get a sense of peace in churches. I love seeing anyone getting strength and peace from their religion, but christianity just doesn't resonate with me.

I don't want to be a hypocrite by saying prayers or singing hymns that I don't believe in, but I don't want to be seen as rude by not joining in.

What do you do in these situations?

[Tabitha]

Hi Tilia, I've replied in the Christianity section. :smile:

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?p=236855#post236855

[norseman]

I recently attended my step-mother's funeral. I added my own invocations in the service, silently, and did a reading from Gibran as part of the service [vicar was also a fan ! ]

[Scibat]

I replied over here: http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?p=236855#post236855

Same answer applies regardless of which side of the fence you are one. (Or if you are on neither side.)

[Medium_Laura]

I respect the ritual of the deceased family or even the wedding of that family. Just as I would want others to respect my rituals :) You don't have to participate but to just be there for the celebration at hand. That is what matters.

I did attend a mass for someone and I refrained from saying the prayers. A lady next to me said.. "Oh? Don't you know the words? Here is a pamphlet so you can read along." That made me very uncomfortable! I knew the words... but I chose not to say them.

[LightFilledHeart]

I don't want to be a hypocrite by saying prayers or singing hymns that I don't believe in, but I don't want to be seen as rude by not joining in.

What do you do in these situations?

Since I believe everyone has the right to his or her truth and no one truth is higher or above that of another, I say to each his own! I don't join in what I do not believe in.. neither do I lampoon it with derisive snorts or rolling of the eyes. In a situation such as you describe, I would simply lower my gaze and remain silent, neither joining in nor conveying with my expression that I find the activity offensive. Frankly I don't see how anyone else could find MY actions offensive at that point, either. If they wish to create offense where none is intended, then that's on them.

[Somber_Mantis]

I keep my mouth shut and my eyes forward.
I don't channel the same energy that the other people do, however.
Sometimes it gets me in trouble...sometimes it doesn't
It's not the people, though, that I try to conceal myself from interestingly enough. I could care less what they think, but understand how my actions can impair those close to me (causing me to "play nice" for the time being).

I'm mostly worried about those marble-statue like watchdogs which have a very nasty bark.

[Summerland]

I simply substitute the name of the Goddess silently in my heart and mind. I did that recently at my son's wedding.

[Lady of the Mountain]

I do not hold to christian, or any religious, beliefs but I am a servant of God and I believe he watches over us all regardless of religion or belief. So when I attend christian services, those of family and friends, I always participate in the prayers, not the ceremony. By praying we honor God, and we spread Love, and I always ask for that Love to pass through Mother Earth and heal her. That goes for all other services I attend for other religions.

[LightFilledHeart]

Good answers, all! There are as many ways of dealing with this issue as there are people with differing points of view :D

[Animus27]

Please don't think this is a double post, I have also put a similar post in the christian section as I would like their opinions... but I also want to hear what other pagans do.

On friday I went to my husband's cousin's funeral. It was a beautiful christian ceremony, the hymn that was chosen was beautiful, but very christian.

The lord's prayer was also said by the congregation.

I have every respect for their path, and even get a sense of peace in churches. I love seeing anyone getting strength and peace from their religion, but christianity just doesn't resonate with me.

I don't want to be a hypocrite by saying prayers or singing hymns that I don't believe in, but I don't want to be seen as rude by not joining in.

What do you do in these situations?
I simply do not participate. During prayer I will nod my head slightly as to not seem irreverent, and just don't sing a hymn. I do not internally "substitute" names because I find that offensive to both my gods and the god of the Christians. Bottom line, show respect when you are in the house of worship of anyone. Or anyone's house for that matter. :D

[Time]

I have every respect for their path, and even get a sense of peace in churches. I love seeing anyone getting strength and peace from their religion, but christianity just doesn't resonate with me.

I don't want to be a hypocrite by saying prayers or singing hymns that I don't believe in, but I don't want to be seen as rude by not joining in.



Thats all that matters... And really that belief is one of the core beliefs on the christian/catholic tradition, most of us jsut forget... As long as you respect them, it doesnt matter. The only thing that would be disrespectful, is to go up for the bread..... That you "cant" do...

[norseman]

Tilia " get a sense of peace in churches"

I often use the cathedral in the city for meditation. Something about those old places [almost 1000 year-old !], the builders knew a trick or two ! If I am very lucky, the main organ starts up and the subsonics are unbelievable !
It does help, of course, that I know there is a pagan holy site under my feet in the vaults. :smile:

[Sungirl]

Norseman, that sounds wonderful.

I don't live near any churches now so don't have that opportunity, but sometimes the energy in them is almost overwhelming.

Although I know there are often pagan sacred sites underneath them, if I go to a stone circle I simply don't feel it.... I think it is too old for me to feel.. Christian churches and cathederals have had a stream of faith poured into them much more recently which makes it easier for me to feel it, on the basis that I just don't "feel" energy very well.

I also think that although I struggle with the tennets of christianity, churches are often not tainted by that. When people are in pure prayer and in communion with their god it is much purer.. so much easier to accept as it doesn't carry the "hell fire and brimstone" stuff.

[Sungirl]

Thats all that matters... And really that belief is one of the core beliefs on the christian/catholic tradition, most of us jsut forget... As long as you respect them, it doesnt matter. The only thing that would be disrespectful, is to go up for the bread..... That you "cant" do...
Hi Time

I wouldn't even want to be at a communion, let alone step up for the bread and wine..... even through I was brought up christian I wasn't christened so I haven't had a confirmation.... so I'm not allowed in at that bit even if I wanted to.

[Time]

LOL

That was my point, but theres no reason as to why you couldnt go to a service, and if you knew the prayors to say them. You know the intent behind them, and your intent is really the same ( m assuming you want love and hapienss for the world etc), so, why would some "god" be offended....

Some people might be, but thena gain, your beliefs are your buisness. Dont ask, dont tell :D

[Sungirl]

very good point :D:D

[vikinwarlord777]

I'm a former catholic and no longer "believe" in jesus, well I do but in a heretical hindu sort of way seeing him as the aspect of god that deals with forgivness and since I have no guilt at the moment I have no use for him. If I'm in a church for whatever reason I just space out and think about other stuff. I do stand kneel ect, so as not to be rude but I don't pray to jesus (though I do get a thrill praying to Kali in a catholic church).

[Enlightener]

Oh boy, me and christian service doesn't mix. I attended a morning mass with my sister a couple of years ago. At one point I burst out laughing at the absurdity of what the priest was saying, much to the dismay of the the christians around me, a few wayward glances, and maybe a death stare or two. Couldn't stop giggling to myself, it was pretty funny stuff though.

I opted to get up and leave the service and buy a pack of smokes, as I couldn't stand listening to the preacher any longer.

I also have the compulsion to get up on stage and tell the preacher what the 'truth' is, or at least my truth, kind of blow everyone's mind or something, but I don't think that would go down very well. It would get heated. And would fall on deaf ears.

[psychoslice]

I think that they are good for amusement, to see how people from the past made these ceremonies to appease their gods.

[Shabda]

i think a more interesting question, is how do i misbehave at christian ceremonies...

[psychoslice]

i think a more interesting question, is how do i misbehave at christian ceremonies...
He he he, good one Shabda lol :D :angel8:

[EbonyDoe]

I've only gone to Christian services three since I converted to Paganism. Once for my grandma's funeral, once for my principal's, and once when I stayed with my godmother for a weekend.

At grandma's funeral, wasn't real religious and spent most of the time just crying like a child. There was nothing else I could force myself to do, it just hurt to much.

At my principal's was pretty similar, but on a slightly more scaled down level. This one was in a Catholic church so I got tips from a Catholic friend on proper etiquette for things such as communion (learned about it but they didn't make everyone go). Lots of crying then too.

On the weekend trip, I just sang along with the hymns because I don't have a problem with them, music is just music to me and they invoke childhood memories of family.

[Tanith]

Having been raised- mostly- southern baptist, but with a very open mind in my household, I feel that, no matter who you are and what you practice, if you find yourself in a ritual or ceremony or congregation of any religion, respect that tradition's practice and faith by joining in. It would be both a learning experience for you, and a new way to celebrate the One, because it doesn't matter what path you choose in life, all paths end with the One.

Saying this, when I do attend church services with my family (which I have to admit I rather dislike) I join in- I know the songs and I know how I'm supposed to act, but I always keep in mind and heart that I have chosen a different path, and I recite that in my mind when the preacher prays.

[LadyMoondancer]

whenever I attend a Christian service, it is usually with respect.

So they are appeasing THEIR gods - yep, that's why they're there. Just because YOU think THEIR dogma is silly, doesn't give you the right to laugh or misbehave. You wouldn't want a christian to come to an open circle and start saying it's all from the devil. You would want respect, then we should give respect as well.
This doesn't mean you have to participate. The place where the service is being held is sacred ground. then say some prayers to YOUR gods. Every path is a path to the divine.

on a silly note - my dad passed away this January. We were brought up Catholic. My sister is Theodish heathen, and I am Wiccan/Witch. 4 different times, my sister's hand went up to "cross herself." Old habits die hard. lol. Even through our grief, Gert and I smiled to each other as she put her hand down.

[scorpiowitch66]

I am very sorry for your loss Ladymoondancer:hug2:

It is really interesting that this came up again because this weekend we went to our first pagan festival. The opening ceremony was wiccan and my daughter, who is 9, said Mom! What do I do? I am not pagan!!!! I told her to just be respectful like you are in a church, which of course she did.

Later on in the day, they had a Druid ceremony for Llamas (sp?) and she was asked to participate with three other little girls by sprinking water on everyone around the circle. She really thought it was neat :smile:

It is so inspiring to see kids, not just mine, accept things so openheartedly.

[Lostgirl]

I agree with LadyMoondancer, i attend with respect for what others believe in. I see no point in causing trouble, or misbehaving for the sake of it or because its not what i believe in :)

[Arlan Lares]

You wouldn't want a christian to come to an open circle and start saying it's all from the devil.
That's true. Unfortunately, that's exactly how some Christians do treat pagans: saying these beliefs are all about the devil and demons. Pagans, for our part, don't crassly tell Christians that Christ was a demon.

[Lostgirl]

Although some may do that, i think doing the same to them would just make us as bad. Rise above it and all that, be the bigger person...

[LadyMoondancer]

That's true. Unfortunately, that's exactly how some Christians do treat pagans: saying these beliefs are all about the devil and demons. Pagans, for our part, don't crassly tell Christians that Christ was a demon.

yes, I know. and I've done some battles with them when they post that fire and brimstone nonsense on some wiccan or pagan youtube clips.

and I must admit I enjoy baiting the really dumb ones with questions like "tell me about easter - what does chocolate eggs and bunnys got to do with JC resurrecting? And can you tell me who Eostre is? --- shuts them up everytime.

[mike bike]

At any religious ceremony I behave with respect to those who follow that religion....I'm not a practising Pagan,nor a Christian...but I love North West Wales...that area makes me feel a real awareness of Paganism....a sort of magic in the air.

I believe all living things are on the path to oneness with the divine....Anyone heard of "The evolution of souls?"...a truly magic teaching from the yogis.

Although I'm not a Christian (in the way the church practices it),I do think that some of the teachings of Jesus are beautiful..."The Sermon on the Mount" comes to mind...beautiful words spoken by a very advanced soul.

What I can't agree with in the Christian teachings is how they say that Jesus was the only son of God....utter drivel and rubbish...all he said when he was asked if he was the son of God was "Yes"...just as I could also answer "Yes"...I am the son of God as much as he was....we are all the children of God.

He NEVER said he was the only son of God....this is how the Christian church has distorted his sayings to make people become "God fearing"....God never wanted to be "feared"....just loved by his children....but God is within us all and we are all within him...I believe that the Universe ("Uni"....meaning "one" and "verse" meaning "song"...."One Song") is the body of God...and we are ALL part of the Universe.



And we are all evolving through many lives to become one with the divine.....so I respect all peoples relgious views...and show respect if I'm in their religious services....all living things are on the same path.

Blessings to all......Mike.

[Hazel]

Sometimes i say the words along but most os the time i just listen and stay quiet as im young at the three funerals i've attened and the two weddings i've never spoken or contributed but i may when im older - though i defintaly think i wont have a christian wedding

[OnAPath]

I found this one first, so I'll comment here. My father was raised catholic, went to catholic school, etc. He does not even sing along. No worries.

[Neville]

I feel sure that devout Christians , in fact devout followers of any path are very contracted to their belief. Equanimity and respect is called for in my view.

[Szalvias]

I am pagan while most of my friends and family are christian of some sort.

I have read from quite a few resources that many of the trappings of catholic religious life have their origins in earlier european paganism. To me the Virgin Mary is simply the Virgin Goddess, and Christmas is one more solstice-timed celebration of the birth of the Sun-God.
That being said, I treat any christian ceremony I must attend in the same way I would treat a foreign pagan ceremony. I respect their beliefs and traditions, but at the same time... well, I just said I regard the Virgin Mary as the Virgin Goddess, right?

If you would like to sing their songs, I don't see how there would be any problem with that. Most christians encourage your participation even if you don't believe. Given the evangelical nature of that religion, it is probable they may take it as a sign of your willingness to convert or some such thing, but it is what it is. I know I would be honored if anyone wanted to join in on my own celebrations, regardless of religion. Participate as much as you want, or as little, and I doubt there will be any problems. I have often used a rosary, saying "Hail Mary's" with a friend who is a Catholic Priest.. he encourages it, knowing I am a pagan buddhist.

My only caveat would be concerning communion or the eucharist. Many christians, especially catholics and some lutherans, have issues with unbaptised or unbelieving people participating in the eucharist (the wine and crackers).

[Elizastar]

although I have a deep dislike for Chirstianity for some very deeply personal reasons. I still love any ancient spiritual ritual. I do even feel peace in their churches ~just don't tell me mother that ;)

[pre-dawn]

I don't want to be a hypocrite by saying prayers or singing hymns that I don't believe in, but I don't want to be seen as rude by not joining in. When they sing hymns simply hum along.
When they pray just make up your own, or recite a mantra, silently of course.

In truth, nobody's watching you, or cares about what you do.

[Seawolf]

What I can't agree with in the Christian teachings is how they say that Jesus was the only son of God


I don't worry about what Christians believe like I used to. Being from a Christian culture, it's impossible to not have some Christian beliefs in us. They shape our culture and are embedded in who we are.

As far as the bible saying "God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son, so whoever believes in Him will have eternal life. ... Those who don't believe are already condemned, because they have not believed in God's one and only Son." John 3:16,18

I don't worry about it. I don't believe the bible's teaching that Jesus is the savior of mankind, and that's ok. There are many different religions in the world, it's ok not believe in the one of your culture.

It may be frustrating to break away from it sometimes because it can be embedded in our beliefs, making people sometimes secretly fear hell, but just recognizing where the fear comes from pretty much dissolves it. The fear is from being raised in a Christian culture. People raised in a Muslim culture might also fear leaving the teachings of the prophet Muhammad for something else.