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unus supra
25-05-2011, 03:28 PM
in the Marines, we had a very useful tool. when we would leave friendly lines to go engage the enemy we would be acutely aware of what transpired. upon returning to friendly lines we would go by each member of the squad and each would contribute their observations to the collective wisdom of the unit. this worked brilliantly. every day we were more effective.

In terms of spirituality, we can all agree to a greater or lesser degree that training ourselves to abide comfortably in this moment is very useful.
so, to enhance our collective knowledge, i was hoping you would share a trick of yours, preferably one each,

so we can collectively increase our store of Tactics Techniques and Procedures.

I would be honored if you shared.

thanks

kavon

gentledove
25-05-2011, 05:51 PM
Hi Kavon,

I agree that we have the ability to "share nervous systems", so to speak, through communication. We can learn from others and so we don't have to touch the fire to know it can burn. We can "stand on each other's shoulders" to reach delicious fruit...etc.

One of my favorite spiritual techniques is viewing everything that happens as AFGO (another f'ing great opportunity). In other words, I view life's trials and tribulations as learning experiences. This prevents me from getting obsessed with thoughts like "why am I so unlucky?" or "why am I being persecuted?", which, while natural reactions, aren't very helpful.

Also, I look for the humor/irony within difficult situations. This puts the misfortune in perspective and prevents me from taking myself or the circumstance too seriously.

I also have realized that half of my "problems" weren't problems at all, but rather a falling short of ideals/values I'd accepted without much thought from supposed authorities. Once I realized that and released the desire to attain those (often pointless) goals, the pain of striving in vain for someone else's values evaporated.

Now I examine other people's demands and make a conscious choice as to whether I agree with them and want to put my precious life/light energy into them or not.

Getting out into nature on a regular basis is another technique I've cultivated. I posted a couple of videos recently which I hope communicate the feeling/heart connection of this blessed state. Nature is my sanctuary!

There are many more techniques I use.

I need a tactic for procastination if anyone knows a cure for that.:tongue:

unus supra
25-05-2011, 06:01 PM
thank you, that was beautiful and touched upon points i would do well to heed myself.

in terms of procrastination my friend, i have no advice for i as well am a master of that if not anything else hahah.

take care

nightowl
25-05-2011, 08:19 PM
unus supra,

I suppose one that I value a great deal is to try not to speak to quickly on a subject or about a person. Things are not always what they seem. Asking questions for a better understanding is a tool I have learned to appreciate greatly.What lies behind is often what creates the image being portrayed. I very much like the old saying, "Walk a mile in another man's moccasins before you criticize him" . :smile:

nightowl

TzuJanLi
25-05-2011, 09:06 PM
Greetings..

Honesty and sincerity, even at the expense of self image.. it is the timid adherance to political correctness that won't speak-up about something that others might ridicule.. you know about this Kavon, when you have been in a fire-fight and you/anyone happened to be looking away from the action and saw something important.. a backdoor where charlie was slipping away, but fear of others saying 'why were you looking over there'? or, in our journeys to understand what we are, we experience amazing insights, but.. we've heard or seen others ridiculed for the same understandings, so we say nothing..

Self-discovery requires self-honesty, the willingness to depend on the only tools 'you' have, and.. the willingness to share those tools for the benefit of the greater whole.. trust yourself, and speak your truths openly.. and, listen with complete attention.. stillness and a quiet mind have been my most beneficial attributes..

Be well..

unus supra
25-05-2011, 10:31 PM
NightOwl- Thank you for the contribution, very pertinent point and one that can go a great deal towards helping people reconcile differences. how we know the world could use more of that. Its funny, talking to a friend and looking in their eyes and knowing they are waiting to respond rather than listening.

Tzu- wise words, excellent analogy. But i must ask, do you feel that under certain circumstances avoiding speaking your mind for harmonies sake in matters not of import is an un skillful approach? i feel it is, i have a very low regard for most individuals ability to avoid escalating a conflict especially in matters of belief, thus i often choose to hold my tongue. i suspect sometimes i may even do it to a fault on occasion.

having said that i feel political correctness is self imposed restriction on freedom of speech. i abhor it.

thank you both.

Prokopton
25-05-2011, 10:50 PM
If it's really about being comfortable in the moment, speaking absolutely generally with no reference to the type of moment... I'm not sure I have tricks. Which is funny because I love tricks. :)

To me being comfortable in the moment is the result of the long, rather challenging process of working out what was making you uncomfortable and fixing it.

But there are so many ways to look at that -- in terms of woundedness, trauma, and armour for instance, trying to protect oneself from anticipated repetitions of long-ago discomforts.. Or in terms of the belief systems that need changing. I tend to work from two ends at the process -- energy up and beliefs down. I also think there are multiple consciousness streams within any person that need harmonizing. Harmony is the key obviously.

There are a couple of tricks too I guess (the NLP people have a bag full of them), but in a sense, any sort of trick means you are not being you and therefore you are armoured, hiding and uncomfortable. (This doesn't mean one should be open and emotionally vulnerable all the time of course! It just means one has to be comfortable with what is necessary.)

One more thing, there is a groove you can get into where you feel what is truly comfortable from an inner prompting, which is about unfolding yourself naturally in the moment. That's not something you do though, it's much more something that does you or happens...

TzuJanLi
25-05-2011, 10:52 PM
NightOwl- Thank you for the contribution, very pertinent point and one that can go a great deal towards helping people reconcile differences. how we know the world could use more of that. Its funny, talking to a friend and looking in their eyes and knowing they are waiting to respond rather than listening.

Tzu- wise words, excellent analogy. But i must ask, do you feel that under certain circumstances avoiding speaking your mind for harmonies sake in matters not of import is an un skillful approach? i feel it is, i have a very low regard for most individuals ability to avoid escalating a conflict especially in matters of belief, thus i often choose to hold my tongue. i suspect sometimes i may even do it to a fault on occasion.

having said that i feel political correctness is self imposed restriction on freedom of speech. i abhor it.

thank you both.
Timing is everything, Kavon.. including 'holding one's tongue', hold it too long and the words grow stagnate.. speak too soon, and 'the door's not open'..

Be well..

Silver
25-05-2011, 11:13 PM
All of this speaks to how competitive we are, seemingly inborn?

Accepting what was shared, even if one isn't comfy with it, sometimes, setting it aside, putting it on the back burner in hopes an aha moment will arrive later. My mom used to tell me things, things I remembered because at that moment they made no sense but sometimes years later, they would pop up out of nowhere after some incident and I go, oh, that's what she meant!

gentledove
25-05-2011, 11:41 PM
All of this speaks to how competitive we are, seemingly inborn?

Accepting what was shared, even if one isn't comfy with it, sometimes, setting it aside, putting it on the back burner in hopes an aha moment will arrive later. My mom used to tell me things, things I remembered because at that moment they made no sense but sometimes years later, they would pop up out of nowhere after some incident and I go, oh, that's what she meant!

Yes, being aware of our past ignorance (humility) is a great tool for being open to new learning. Thanks for that!

Hi Prokopton,

to me being comfortable in the moment is the result of the long, rather challenging process of working out what was making you uncomfortable and fixing it.

Fixing it how? I imagine working out what is making you uncomfortable involves observation...nice technique, imo! How did you fix it? Maybe if you choose an example and relate it I'll understand better.

There are a couple of tricks too I guess (the NLP people have a bag full of them), but in a sense, any sort of trick means you are not being you and therefore you are armoured, hiding and uncomfortable. (This doesn't mean one should be open and emotionally vulnerable all the time of course! It just means one has to be comfortable with what is necessary.)

I think tricks and techniques aren't necessarily the same thing? Techniques are processes we've learned that do work to achieve commitments we set for ourselves. They're our goals and we learn effective methods by hypothesizing and then trying them out. I wonder in what way this is "not being ourselves"? I wonder how it's possible to not be ourselves?

PROJECTMAYHEM
25-05-2011, 11:51 PM
whenever im lost in thinking, i get out of it by looking around, listening, using one of my senses

another thing i do is, have my full attention in whatever im doing.

see things as they are infront of you, not with the personal story you have behind it.

gentledove
25-05-2011, 11:58 PM
whenever im lost in thinking, i get out of it by looking around, listening, using one of my senses

Increasing awareness, right on!

nother thing i do is, have my full attention in whatever im doing.


Right, you just admitted you can't multitask either.:tongue:

see things as they are infront of you, not with the personal story you have behind it.

Separating your "story" about something out from objective evidence...nice~

Jyotir
26-05-2011, 06:32 AM
Hi unus supra,

Enthusiasm without expectation is a good one.

Also, surrender ALL results to God...the good, the bad & ugly. (this is from the Gita)

Feeling gratitude always helps - it increases receptivity.

Very effective: Everything anybody says is true

These seem deceptively simple, but they are imo/experience not so easy to maintain consistently in practice, sometimes even to remember.


~ J

Prokopton
26-05-2011, 12:04 PM
Fixing it how? I imagine working out what is making you uncomfortable involves observation...nice technique, imo!

I wouldn't call this a technique, it's more a way of being.

As I mentioned I tend to work with energy and belief system plus looking at early trauma maybe. I've studied it and developed my particular way. The latter two are just what any psychologist would look at. I tend to use modern psychology including CBT (http://www.amazon.com/Talking-Yourself-Cognitive-Behavior-Therapy/dp/1419687433/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1306407332&sr=1-1), IFS (http://www.amazon.com/review/R25P90H9VXFORC/ref=cm_cr_pr_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=1936107082&nodeID=&tag=&linkCode=#wasThisHelpful) and Psychosynthesis (http://www.amazon.com/Psychosynthesis-Psychology-Spirit-Transpersonal-Humanistic/dp/0791455343/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1306407408&sr=1-3) for example. Looking at the belief system, seeing where childhood misunderstanding wrought unhelpful approaches, removing fear, and co-ordinating the inner consciousnesses into a functioning ecosystem with Self in charge.

On the energy front, kundalini arousal causes the system to realign itself deeply and it makes an effort to remove the negative in and of itself. So you have to be ready to co-operate with the Goddess. I was taught (http://www.wholisticarts.org/morris.html) ways that naturally co-ordinate the more mundane psychological with the transpersonal and ecstatic/energetic, so it seems natural to me.

Those are what have worked for me, amongst others, but the particular techniques are not as important as having the intention and then working specifically at it. Eg., change one thing about yourself that is not as you'd wish, and you've actually done two things -- you've changed yourself and you've also come up with a way of changing yourself. After that make a list of 5 things. Then a dozen. etc. As mentioned kundalini requires you to feel comfortable with who you are, therefore as energy builds you are going to have the things that don't work pointed out to you with increasing force, as they are blocking bliss/reality/Self in a very obvious way.

gentledove
26-05-2011, 02:22 PM
unus supra,

I suppose one that I value a great deal is to try not to speak to quickly on a subject or about a person. Things are not always what they seem. Asking questions for a better understanding is a tool I have learned to appreciate greatly.What lies behind is often what creates the image being portrayed. I very much like the old saying, "Walk a mile in another man's moccasins before you criticize him" . :smile:

nightowl

I wrote a long paragraph to this, then didn't have time to finish and "lost it".

Now I'm gonna have to keep it short. I too try not to harshly judge people because a) I have insufficient information b) I may have to harshly judge myself someday or be a hypocrite c) Harsh personal judgements make the assumption that I'm "better than" and I'm not. Missing one, but ya...good one.:wink:

On the other hand I do evaluate behavior. I find it useful and healthy to avoid certain behavior. =)

gentledove
26-05-2011, 02:24 PM
Hi unus supra,

Enthusiasm without expectation is a good one.

Also, surrender ALL results to God...the good, the bad & ugly. (this is from the Gita)

Feeling gratitude always helps - it increases receptivity.

Very effective: Everything anybody says is true

These seem deceptively simple, but they are imo/experience not so easy to maintain consistently in practice, sometimes even to remember.


~ J

These are all excellent! Hey, though is everything anybody says always true...to you? I can see how it will be true to them. I can see how this would cause you to look for the truth in what they say which will broaden perspective immensely...still...

sound
26-05-2011, 02:29 PM
One of my techniques is to try to make it easier for people ... gentledove if you tick the little box that says 'remember me' when you log on your posts wont disappear and you will be logged on indefinitely, or at least until you log off manually :hug3:

gentledove
26-05-2011, 02:31 PM
Those are what have worked for me, amongst others, but the particular techniques are not as important as having the intention and then working specifically at it. Eg., change one thing about yourself that is not as you'd wish, and you've actually done two things -- you've changed yourself and you've also come up with a way of changing yourself. After that make a list of 5 things. Then a dozen. etc. As mentioned kundalini requires you to feel comfortable with who you are, therefore as energy builds you are going to have the things that don't work pointed out to you with increasing force, as they are blocking bliss/reality/Self in a very obvious way.
__________________

Well, this sounds great, but I have to admit I have no idea what kundalini is.

Can it help with this procastination tendency I'm observing in myself?

gentledove
26-05-2011, 02:32 PM
One of my techniques is to try to make it easier for people ... gentledove if you tick the little box that says 'remember me' when you log on your posts wont disappear and you will be logged on indefinitely, or at least until you log off manually :hug3:

Ohhh, now that's a helpful lil trick!:hug2:

sound
26-05-2011, 02:39 PM
Just to add to my post unus-supra ... i feel that, when 'whatever' is made easier, or if you like, made more effective for others, will, more often than not, (sometimes in some unassuming way) enable them to enrich their experience, dig a little deeper maybe, and in deed, enrich the experience of all those who are fortunate enough to be 'in the room' at the given time lol ... and regardless of how selfless we like to believe/think our actions are, we also feel the same breeze when we open the window to let in a little fresh air for others lol :hug3:

Time
26-05-2011, 02:43 PM
One of the hardest things to do when talking abotu something, is to NOT assume they know what your talking about. IMO its best to give instructions, or information as if you are telling that person for the first time ( especialy if they arent familiar with you OR that situation). THis leaves less room for error.

An example would be, when teaching meditation for example, you go through breathing, mabey some visualisation, or other techniques, but becasue you think its " common knowledge" to ground yourself, you forget to mention it.

Something that sort of goes with this, is giving people enough room for their own opinions. Sometimes the best information is from someone who is unfamiliar witht he certain situation, who can not over anylize it. An example is an auto mechanic. Te truck starts to steer very hard, and wont turn. Some mechanics would instanly think its the drive train, or something wrong witht he steering column. But someone else might suggest " di dyou check the fluids?"

THis goes for more then just spirituality as well, and also goes hand in hand with treating people how you want to be treated. Respect, earns respect. THis goes with spirituality as well. A great example is homosexuality. While somepeople dont agree with this, its respectful to not shove your veiws down their throat. But at the same time, the other person should have the respect to at least let you speak your mind about it.

For me, a great example is vegetarianism. I dont get it, i see it as moot and ,lots of the reasoning is ignorant IMO. But i would never, ever try to tell a vegan they are wrong, id never tell them that their whole belief system is flawed. I ,may state the reasons as to why i dissagree with it, and discuss it, but I persoanly cant turn around to a vegan and say " sorry yoru wrong, what your doing is wrong, and your just as stupid as the whole vegan life style". i wouldnt feel good about some one saying that about my beliefs.

ITs a delicate balance: Keeping an open enough mind to not be ignorant to others beliefs, and to still tactfuly and respecfuly give your opinion.

Prokopton
26-05-2011, 03:01 PM
Well, this sounds great, but I have to admit I have no idea what kundalini is.

Can it help with this procastination tendency I'm observing in myself?

For basic procrastination I'd recommend some cognitive stuff eg this (http://www.amazon.com/Three-Minute-Therapy-Change-Thinking/dp/0944435424/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1306417844&sr=1-1) which has a chapter on it, although it's rather caustic. If it turns out to be more involved (about serious emotional reluctance etc.), any of the three I posted before are great.

Kundalini is a divine energy field underlying your bodily form and nervous system that can be woken to produce ecstasy, healing, strong mystical experience, enlightenment etc. The word comes from India but the process appears to be cross-cultural. Meditations of specific kind waken it, but it can also be woken unintentionally eg. by NDE or trauma, or meditation not aimed specifically at it. More here (http://www.kundaliniguide.com/whatiskund.html).

It's very intense and culminatory so you wouldn't use it for procrastination! (That would be like trying to summon Athena to scratch an itch on your big toe. ^_^)

Jyotir
31-05-2011, 09:40 PM
Enthusiasm without expectation is a good one.

Also, surrender ALL results to God...the good, the bad & ugly. (this is from the Gita)

Feeling gratitude always helps - it increases receptivity.

Very effective: Everything anybody says is true

These seem deceptively simple, but they are imo/experience not so easy to maintain consistently in practice, sometimes even to remember. These are all excellent! Hey, though is everything anybody says always true...to you? I can see how it will be true to them. I can see how this would cause you to look for the truth in what they say which will broaden perspective immensely...still...


Hi gentledove,

Thank you.

This is why it is a technique, and the essence of the technique is that it has to be 'true for me'. I know this is 'counter-intuitive', because we are taught to 'think for ourselves', 'be an individual', reason and compare 'values', don't let others 'control' your thoughts, etc. - and this is the source of much conflict - because it creates internal conflict when presented with any stimulus that is different than our own unique view. This phenomenon alone is the impetus that accounts for much interpersonal conflict - self-comparison and refutation (self-protection) of 'what is not like me'.

In the employment of this technique, I'm accepting 'the other' truth as true for me - as my own truth. I am not looking for truth - truth is coming to me. I'm simply receiving it openly without internal resistance. If I 'stop the flow' to judge and compare to 'my' beliefs/values/ideals - I'm at that moment no longer listening, but invoking ego/separation/comparison. I'm responding in my mind to my own self-comparison that is arbitrary at best, all about myself (exclusion of the other) at worst. If others' experience is necessarily true as an 'authentic reality', valid for them - and let's face it - it is for them anyway, and my beliefs or values are not going to change that, nor should they necessarily 'in the moment' - it becomes part of my reality instantly through oneness.

I don't have to USE it - including in the moment as a reflective foil for an automatic ego reaction. The potential for utilization is completely another issue that prevents people from seeing the efficacy of this technique. Many don't realize that if they react internally there is inherently a demand to utilize the input, a demand that is being met when we automatically react. Then we are bound and restricted by our own demand (that others should be like us, have our own experiences, values, beliefs).

This is about a genuine poise in receptivity, instantly gaining real insight into another reality. There is an expansion of self by inclusion, instead of limitation of self by reactive comparison, with attendant exclusive judgments - invalidations, negations (or the opposite, praise of likeness). This technique - a functional enactment of oneness allows one to instantly see through a subjective identification with another's reality - what are their values, motivations, goals, fears, outstanding qualities, world view, preferences, aversions, deceptions and peculiarities. It increases intuition especially about other people, is very useful conversationally, but works well for other 'identities'.

Access becomes instantly available by this 'technique'. Also - this kind of careful listening often indicates if, when, what and how to respond. Oneness more spontaneously informs or 'creates' appropriate response in the moment, because this listening may include ones own higher reality - the functional instrumentality of the subjective linkage to the other reality. It is the listening to the truth, of and in another's truth which initiates a greater more expanded truth. This can be done anywhere, like in line at the store - just listening to people - without inserting yourself (your own mind) in any way. Not as easy as it sounds, but there is a lot of opportunity for practice.

~ J

gentledove
31-05-2011, 10:19 PM
This can be done anywhere, like in line at the store - just listening to people - without inserting yourself (your own mind) in any way. Not as easy as it sounds, but there is a lot of opportunity for practice.

Yes, I can well imagine!

I do still have a tendency to judge some behavior as wrong (murder, torture, etc. and I admit it sometimes sickens me when I hear other people talking about harming others without seeming to have any sense of caring for their pain).

I agree with you though that maintaining an open mind, trying to understand something from someone else's perspective and holding an attitude that something can be learned from everyone and every experience is a magnificent way to expand our awareness into the unknown. You are a true pioneer Jytoir! Yay! :icon_cheers: