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View Full Version : Daughter sexually abused.. is she still connected by Soul Ties?


FindGod
24-05-2011, 07:02 AM
Hello,
my daughter has just revealed to be that she's been sexually abused when she was 11/early 12 years of age.

This has understandably left me devestated, and I would like to ask.. do you think she is still connected to this man/boy who was 15 at the time?

If so.. please can you tell me how to break these soul ties for her?
I really don't think she would be brave enough to Pray for herself as she finds these things very scary, expecially having to think more about her abuse.


I was wondering, is it possible for me to break the soul ties for her?
She wants to be free of him and it isn't her fault in any way but I know she would be very confused about the whole "Praying to break free from him" thing.

Please let me know, it's killing me thinking they are spiritually joined x

tragblack
24-05-2011, 07:14 AM
If so.. please can you tell me how to break these soul ties for her?

You can make as much effort as you can, but the very last chord to be cut will be for your daughter only. You cannot heal her fully yourself. It is something, though horrible, that is in her life path and something for her to work through.

In what way do you think and worry that they are "spiritually joined?" That his essence is still with her, somehow, or vice-versa?

jjj
24-05-2011, 11:34 AM
I'm very sorry to hear about this. :( Much healing for you, as well as your daughter. I don't know if she is still connected or not but it's possible. I don't think you can do it for her. Has she sought counseling or would she be open to it? I am very biased toward heart-centered hypnotherapy. Therapists who have been through the advanced training do such things as initiate cutting soul bonds/ ties, retrieving parts of the soul which have broken off as a result of trauma, working with the energy body, etc. They are also all licensed mental health professionals. It would just depend if she was open to the experience. If not, a traditional therapist may still be of help. As a mother of a 16 year old, I feel for you. Moms really want to protect and keep their kids from any harm and it's hard to not try to fix everything for them. Healing is one thing that you can't force on her. If she came to you with it, she must be ready to deal with it. What about the boy? What are the consequences for him?

sound
24-05-2011, 11:38 AM
Hello FindGod and a warm welcome to the community :)

I know nothing about soul ties, however you may be able to support your daughter to seek professional counselling to help her to heal emotionally and psychologically. She may decline, however it is worth a try as SA counselors are very skilled in helping people to work through unresolved issues which can be directly related to the sexual abuse. :hug3:

FindGod
24-05-2011, 03:16 PM
Thanks for the replies, guys!
She is blaming herself partly I feel which is very sad to see.
The person who did this to her seems to have got her drunk enough to have hardly been able to know anything that was going on and is blaming herself for not stopping him.

I know it's not her fault, she was a confused little girl who wouldn't have the mental capability to know what to do anyway despite the fact that this person has got her to drink an extreme amount of alcohol at such an age.


She wishes it did not happen and is very upset at the fact that it has. She is not the kind of girl to get lots of boyfriends. She has friends, good friends and is a decent and loving child.

She doesn't understand the concept of being attached to someone and is unsure largely about God and spirituality as a whole.

My thoughts were that I have heard about interceding for somebody with this but just wasn't sure how or if this really is possible.
I am just desperate for her to be free really and to get her to be able to accept all of this concept as well as trying to forget and move on from what happened could take years if not forever.. to think she may still be connected to him for years to come is such a frightening prospect.

I have been praying for miracles, even for the whole thing to never have happened in the first place, I just don't know what to do x


jjj and sound, she has just spoken to me and close friends about it and doesn't want to relive everything. It's actually been largely forgotten in her mind and she's very happy to move on from it all. Personally, I can't see a change in her at all, which is the most strangest thing.. not what you'd expect as a result, although she is just very sad to think she's lost her virginity. I don't think sexual abuse can really be classed as sex though.


tragblack I'm not entirely sure, I have just heard about being spiritually joined to someone if you've had sex with them. I worry if part of her is still with him and part of him is still with her. I have prayed many times for the ties between them to be broken and all of him return to him and all of her return to her. It's hard to know if my Prayers have done the effect or not x





Thanks so much for the replies you all gave so quick, it's massively helpful as this is one of the worse things I could imagine us going through x

jjj
25-05-2011, 01:58 AM
I was sexually abused at a very early age and for quite a number of years, although not rape. If she is wanting to let it go and you are not seeing a great deal of 'stuff' from it it may be good to let it go. If she later decides that she wants to work on issues resulting from it, then pursue it at that time (or let her pursue it). Every situation and every person is different. I had a soul connection that I didn't need to have but noone else could end it but me. Also, it "came about" as a past life thing although I think that he was/ is/ represents the offender in my current life. There's sort of a subconscious contract or agreement... but not always. :)

Blessings~

p.s. It may help her to know that 1 out of every 3 girls is sexually abused.

Energyatwork
25-05-2011, 03:38 AM
It's actually been largely forgotten in her mind and she's very happy to move on from it.

FG
So allow your daughter to move on as she wishes.

She found the courage to tell you so she is strong and was willing to share a deep seceret with you; this is because telling you is the hardest step for her and she has done that. Do not be concerned about soul ties or any other form of connection spiritual (**) or otherwise its already gone. Your daughter has walked away from it with will and determination. Support her choices in that way she learns for herself.

I hope you dont mind me saying but it may be that you now need to show the same courage that your daughter has and move on from feelings that you may have from hearing about this experience.
Enjoy the love enjoy the bond you have togeather!!
Steve

Energyatwork
25-05-2011, 03:44 AM
JJJ
It may help her to know that 1 out of every 3 girls is sexually abused.

Does that make it right? does that make it ok or acceptable?

Kind of a strange statement, helpful....mmmmm i very much doubt that.

norseman
25-05-2011, 09:56 AM
Odd that no-one has mentioned police !

mattie
25-05-2011, 10:03 AM
Good for you for mentioning the police. Filing charges may help her get past this.

It is of the utmost importance to help her understand that this is NOT her fault regardless of whether she voluntarily drank the alcohol & that many others have gone through this too. Many therapists are experienced in this. It's OK to ask if they have experience w/ childhood sexual abuse when finding one.

pre-dawn
25-05-2011, 10:08 AM
Odd that no-one has mentioned police ! The boy was 15, she was 12.
Serious questions need to be asked, but that will not go down well here.

norseman
25-05-2011, 01:51 PM
"Here" as in where ?

Silver
25-05-2011, 02:38 PM
It's actually been largely forgotten in her mind and she's very happy to move on from it.

FG
So allow your daughter to move on as she wishes.

She found the courage to tell you so she is strong and was willing to share a deep seceret with you; this is because telling you is the hardest step for her and she has done that. Do not be concerned about soul ties or any other form of connection spiritual (**) or otherwise its already gone. Your daughter has walked away from it with will and determination. Support her choices in that way she learns for herself.

I hope you dont mind me saying but it may be that you now need to show the same courage that your daughter has and move on from feelings that you may have from hearing about this experience.
Enjoy the love enjoy the bond you have togeather!!
Steve


I totally agree/concur with this post, Ty ~ well said.

Silver
25-05-2011, 02:39 PM
JJJ
It may help her to know that 1 out of every 3 girls is sexually abused.

Does that make it right? does that make it ok or acceptable?

Kind of a strange statement, helpful....mmmmm i very much doubt that.


I read that as she's not alone, nothing more nothing less~*

jjj
25-05-2011, 11:28 PM
JJJ
It may help her to know that 1 out of every 3 girls is sexually abused.

Does that make it right? does that make it ok or acceptable?

Kind of a strange statement, helpful....mmmmm i very much doubt that.


It helped me. I always thought that I was really weird. Lots and lots of shame and guilt. And it's def. not just me because I work with tons of women/ girls who have been through and feel the same way. It's a sense of "I'm not alone."

My interpretation of your post was really aggressive... and I almost responded the same way. If you were one of the 1 in 5 boys who is sexually abused, you may have an understanding of the reasoning behind this.

I just want to say to the originator of this post that although I agree that it is a great idea if you can move on right away; also don't beat yourself up if you can't. There is a difference between moving past something and sweeping it under the rug. Make sure that you take care of you... or you definitely will have a more difficult time taking care of anyone else. Sometimes confession (which does NOT imply she did something wrong) is all that is needed to release the shame and move on (for her). Just don't fall under the false belief that emotions=weakness (for you). That's a ridiculous notion and repression is harmful.

Uma
26-05-2011, 01:27 AM
Hi FindGod,

Please let me know, it's killing me thinking they are spiritually joined x

This idea of spiritually joined, does it come from a religious belief? Apart from getting her the therapy, medical attention, and any criminal investigation that could help bring her closure and safety, self esteem and freedom from guilt - you might want to think about what ideas you are putting into her head that could be reinforcing her trauma. Negative experiences in childhood have a way of snowballing into huge monsters because of implanted ideas that people put into one's head, and you don't want her growing up with more problems, do you? Sorry if this sounds harsh but I know it's true.

jjj
26-05-2011, 02:55 AM
Uma, some believe that we are connected or come into contact with the people and circumstances in our lives due to soul connections. Whether or not this is the case, it does seem to come up quite a bit in hypnotherapy in the form of past-life connections. That does not mean that there is a connection like this with every person you come into contact with. I never tell people I do or do not believe in past lives or soul bonds or anything like that... just deal with them if they come up. The cutting of the bond is not a resolution to any issues... one has to do the work and to heal themselves. Whether the cutting of the bond is a symbolic form of releasing that person/ situation from ones life or whether it truly is the cutting of a spiritual bond/ cord... it is powerful. I don't have to know everything right now; however I do know that it is powerful and healing.

In fact, mom cutting the cord (not necessary to involve the child... she doesn't have to know what's going on) can help to release mom.

pre-dawn
26-05-2011, 03:05 AM
"Here" as in where ?
In this thread, in this forum. It is full of rescuers. Feeling good is more important than taking a look at what happened and ask relevant questions. Challenges, such as asking why the OP found it necessary to try and manipulate the facts ever so slightly disturb the peace.
Truth, taking responsibility, who cares about that?

Silver
26-05-2011, 03:09 AM
Well, it's a touchy subject and the OP should be the one to broach what really happened. Nobody perhaps should ask questions, if she didn't feel it appropriate to take it to authorities. I think the kids were minors. I think that's different as regards the law, we really can't assume and it's too nosy to ask straight out what's on a lot of our minds. So we wait.

MoonDancer
26-05-2011, 06:22 AM
You can't break soul ties or soul connections. Not that that should be a worry anyway, his soul isn't evil. Just the actions he did with his body.
If she's moved on and grown from the experience, what happens has helped her and whats done is done.\
Also, if they do have soul connections, which I personally believe anyone who we were/are close to made an impact in your life is, than there must be karmic connections as well. But then this all depends on your beliefs.

psychoslice
26-05-2011, 06:26 AM
They were both still children, I don't think she is connected by soul but by memory.

norseman
26-05-2011, 09:02 AM
In this thread, in this forum. It is full of rescuers. Feeling good is more important than taking a look at what happened and ask relevant questions. Challenges, such as asking why the OP found it necessary to try and manipulate the facts ever so slightly disturb the peace.
Truth, taking responsibility, who cares about that?

Truth, responsibility - everyone should care about that. Statutory Rape is a serious matter - what about the next little girl and the next, etc ?

jjj
26-05-2011, 11:30 AM
It wasn't statutory rape. They were both minors. However, I did ask what about the consequences for the boy... it just wasn't answered. The originator did originally call him a boy but I think many people automatically jumped to 'man' due to the "sexually abused" thing.

A rescuer is clinging to an outcome and depending on keeping the victim a victim. So, if people are doing this then it is rescuing. Being emotionally available and sharing knowledge and experience is different than rescuing. A rescuer wants to "fix" everyone and feels sorry for people rather than empathizing because (s)he is really trying to fix him/ herself. Even under the persecutor, is the victim. People do things because of them, not because of me (or you). If something rings true for someone, THEN they act on it... not just because someone says it. The whole victim triangle is sometimes misused by people who persecute by pointing their fingers and saying things like, "YOU are a victim/ rescuer!" :) Not only that but they use it as a chance to say, "Get over it!" I once asked a woman what she thought her nine-year-old self needed to hear after being raped by neighborhood boys and she said, "That's what you get!" That's a prime example of someone who has been lead to believe that emotions=weakness and that sweeping it under the rug= healing.

norseman
26-05-2011, 11:57 AM
jjj, I disagree with you in one matter only - 15 is only a minor in our culture in this present time as a definition in Law. Apart from that, your response is the first bit of sense in this thread as far as I can see.
Only one question remaining. The first post was from the mother of the child. I would be interested in what the father's reaction was.

Uma
26-05-2011, 01:39 PM
Uma, some believe that we are connected or come into contact with the people and circumstances in our lives due to soul connections. Whether or not this is the case, it does seem to come up quite a bit in hypnotherapy in the form of past-life connections. That does not mean that there is a connection like this with every person you come into contact with. I never tell people I do or do not believe in past lives or soul bonds or anything like that... just deal with them if they come up. The cutting of the bond is not a resolution to any issues... one has to do the work and to heal themselves. Whether the cutting of the bond is a symbolic form of releasing that person/ situation from ones life or whether it truly is the cutting of a spiritual bond/ cord... it is powerful. I don't have to know everything right now; however I do know that it is powerful and healing.

In fact, mom cutting the cord (not necessary to involve the child... she doesn't have to know what's going on) can help to release mom.

Brilliant perspective jjj You know your stuff! I don't disagree with any of this. It sounds like a great approach for therapy. I'm glad you pointed out that mom needs to release also, as this is her trauma too.

My focus was on what mom overlays on what has already happened to daughter, and that mom needs to be aware of the impact she has on daughter.

norseman
26-05-2011, 01:48 PM
"My focus was on what mom overlays on what has already happened to daughter, and that mom needs to be aware of the impact she has on daughter."

Good general reminder there, Uma, about the baggage we all carry and dump on other people.

FindGod
01-06-2011, 11:46 AM
Sorry for the late reply everyone!
Just want to say thankyou for your responses to this.

Things are such a mixture of emotions for me.. feelings of positivity that she and I will be free from this to sudden change over feelings of the opposite.


jjj, it is extremely sad to think that it is that common for children to get abused but there is strength that comes from that. Knowing people do go through it and come out of it.. and just generally knowing that what's happened does not make you 'alien'

She does feel guilt. It's sad to see. There's been many times where she's blamed herself and just been like "Why didn't I stop him!!?"
She knows all along she didn't want him to and she says the idea is disgusting to think that a child of that age would let that happen to her.


I'm finding it difficult to get her to understand it was abuse. It's extremely disheartening
If anyone has any ideas on how to help her understand that and to know she is not at fault it would be brilliant x



I have done much praying, and I even had a very interesting experience a little while back.
I was releasing my emotions and Prayers up to God and was feeling very low at the time. I'd called up for divine help and think I was being helped by the Holy Spirit.
I actually was able to release myself fully to God and as I did this I found myself saying words, mumbling them out and shaking. It felt like going back in time and re-living backwards a situation, like undoing it.
I would love to think it's sort of an undoing to her situation but I don't know x
Just thought I'd share that!


Please do offer your Prayers for me and my daughter and that she will be released from all soul ties with this boy if there are still any x

Thankyou!

Midnight Writer
01-06-2011, 06:27 PM
There would be an attachment to the other person that is called an 'astral cord,' but probably nothing on the soul level, based on what you described. There could also very well be an energetic imprint of the offender that she would carry. There is a healing method that can remove these cords and imprints, but she would need to be a participant in the healing. You cannot do this for her. You can, however, guide her towards learning about spirituality, and encourage her to take an active part in her own healing, which would be empowering, and help her to feel less the victim, which isn't healthy. You can help her move towards this in other ways. Whether or not the trauma of this incident lessens for her, the energy of it will remain until it is removed by a healer who knows how to do this.