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jjj
11-05-2011, 01:23 PM
Hi all :)

I just wondered how many of you have read The Four Agreements and how much you got out of it? I have read it a few times in the past and love it. It may border on 'common sense' (or not) but I think that if the agreements are applied they're very freeing.

I keep having a difficult time with "Take Nothing Personally"... even when it has absolutely nothing to do with me, sometimes I make it about me. At least I know that I'm doing it though. At one time I would have just assumed it was about me and got angry, anxious, depressed... whatever the case may be. There is a free download of the audio book on the web (I'll have to ask my husband where he found it). He burned it off and I'm going to listen to it in the car (I commute). Can't hurt, huh?

What is your experience with the book?

gentledove
11-05-2011, 03:03 PM
Hi jjj,

I think the 4 agreements is a book filled with wisdom. What I find though is some people apply some of the agreements which are to their liking and skip others. The one most often skipped imo is "be impeccable with your word". To me this essentially meant, don't intentionally say things that are mean and hurtful and result in no ultimate good. Another thing people do is assume that others should be following them or it's their fault if they're not. They assume it's other people's responsibility not to take things personally, then they proceed to spout the most vicious things with the comeback "well, they shouldn't take it personally". I think the 4 agreements could lead to a revolution in the way people relate to each other in a very positive way...if it's not abused by the "little ego self" for it's own ends...k...rant over. lol

Anyway, it's a great resource when used in the proper spirit.

Btw, it's difficult not to take things personally, especially when it's direct criticism aimed specifically at us. So rest assured you're not the only one grappling with that goal.

jjj
12-05-2011, 12:58 AM
I don't know but after listening to it... I kinda want to go out and play. Maybe climb a tree or play in the mud. :D

gentledove
12-05-2011, 01:11 AM
lol, that's kinda what I did today, I unloaded a truckload of dirt.

adamiava
16-05-2011, 10:16 AM
I loved the book and agree with the principles but I too, struggle with the not taking anything personally part..I am getting better though, it takes practice!

Xan
17-05-2011, 06:02 AM
That's the thing, jjj... We can't make ourselves not take things personally. What we Can do is accept our feelings just as they are and breathe and let go.

With practicing self-acceptance, gradually we can become detached enough to see that what others think or say about us really is only going on in their own minds and has nothing to do with 'me'. Then our emotional reactions to them begin to subside and our sure inner awareness increases.


Xan

jjj
17-05-2011, 12:41 PM
Sometimes it really ISN'T going on in their minds... just in mine. I just ASSUME that it's going on in their minds. I once did a hypno session (I was client, with a therapist) and went back to a pre-language time. This was one of the times that began such programming. I was just doing whatever kids do but was told by the grown-ups that it was not acceptable. This was the beginning of feeling that I was unacceptable (was shamed... "shhhh... don't let others know this is how you are"). I think it's probably pretty typical... but then things got worse and everything reflected that early belief that I was not acceptable. Healing this child-part of me was of great benefit. Sometimes I still find myself there and I just have to remind myself, "Wait a minute, this probably has nothing to do with me." And even if it is about me (in their minds), it's really not. That is, if I always do my best and am open and kind. After all, when I am done learning and growing... I'll be dead. :)

It's always good to get feedback if my behavior DOES affect another in negative ways. It is about their reactions but sometimes it could also be about my behaviors. If I assume that I have all of the answers, then I am doing those who I serve a great disservice. Of course, I know this because I've done it :D .

unus supra
17-05-2011, 06:16 PM
This thread is my first encounter with the four agreements,
i only read what they were, i have not read the book,

having said that, they seem very practical.

Free_Falling
17-05-2011, 06:46 PM
Who is the author of the book? This is the first I'm ever hearing about this.

jjj
17-05-2011, 07:18 PM
Don Miguel Ruiz

zipzip
18-05-2011, 02:15 AM
I have never heard of this book.

Can you just say what are the 4 agreements?

zipzip

jjj
18-05-2011, 02:18 AM
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Take nothing personally
3. Never assume anything
4. Always do your best

Of course, the author is quite inspirational and makes some good points throughout the book such as the difference between the warrior (refrains) and the victim (represses emotion), etc.

zipzip
18-05-2011, 03:43 AM
1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Take nothing personally
3. Never assume anything
4. Always do your best

Of course, the author is quite inspirational and makes some good points throughout the book such as the difference between the warrior (refrains) and the victim (represses emotion), etc.


Not sure what be impeccable with your word is.

Take nothing personally,--agreed. Love it
Never assume anything--I am like the OP, I always assume I did something wrong or it's about me!lol
Always do your best--sometimes slack in that area

Great truths or thoughts and easy to understand

thanks

zipzip

jjj
18-05-2011, 12:51 PM
Here is the author's web-site in case anyone is interested. There are some free audio downloads (not for the book, but some teachings). I haven't listened to them yet but I think I'll play them while I get around this morning. There are a lot of good teachers out there (I figure I learn just as much from those who 'I help' as anyone) and this is one of them... at least for me.

http://www.miguelruiz.com/index.php?p=Resources

seeker2011
19-05-2011, 11:41 PM
The four agreements are nothing but an extrapolation of a truth/wise saying offered many thousands of years ago.
Namely "to thine own self be true".
That means only this: dont lie to yourself.
Then somebody who can write a book took that and blither blathered it into ten thousand words and sold it.
Helpful for some, for others, not so much.
But who am I to say a tool isn't good for anyone but the inventor?

jjj
20-05-2011, 12:57 AM
lol...a hammer is used by lots of people for lots of different jobs... but you don't have to use a hammer... you could use a nail gun or a rock. Higher math is really just conceptions of the mind but means something to one person and not to another. It also depends upon how it is presented... different students learn better from different teachers. :) Which is why if you don't like the class... it may serve you better to stay home (or find a different class).

belinda2
20-05-2011, 02:09 AM
Don Miguel Ruiz
Now he has a few other books on this subject , I have them but have not read them yet. What do you think of his other books?

jjj
20-05-2011, 02:40 AM
I haven't read them.