The me I will never be

[Rukawa]

Hello everyone I am new here. I have come to hopefully get some good spiritual advice. I have been wondering lately who or what I am running from. My life is always a mess , a big mess. I have many strange spiritual gifts and every time I talk to certain people in the Christian religion I am told I am a bad person "Im not living my life right with God". I was raised in the church. Love God with my whole heart and soul. When I was little I was adopted and I know the family I came from was a very evil people and the ones who adopted me were no better. The type of people that at church they were good as gold but behind the scenes watch out.When I was about 4 I prayed to God day and night to bring my mommy back to get me. After about a year of this a ghost did indeed come and visit me.The ghost of a woman appeared. She had beautiful flowing hair and was white as snow.She was wearing a summer dress. I found out when I was older she was wearing that dress when she died. I was so scared its a long story.The thing touched me and after this my life changed.I began to have dreams, dreams that come to pass.Some of the dreams are about me and my life others are about other people.My dreams tell the future.I feel wickedness coming off people,I can read the sins on a person's flesh. I know things,one time I told a friend of mine exactly what her sister's house looked like and yet I have never even met her sister. I always had witches attracted to me and still do today. Begging me to be in the occult.When I was younger a witch had told me "you will get married , have 9 kids then your husband will kill you when you are 26" he said the stars said. Now he was wrong but he was right.It was my mom he was talking about not me. I didnt even know this person he walked up to me on the street and said this!There are many more details but I am really getting nervous of what could be going on. Several years ago I joined a penpal site and I showed a friend of mine who knows Hebrew the letters that are on my forehead and to my shock he said the one was God's name in Hebrew.These marks appeared on my head about 9 years ago. Please dont look at me weird or anything.I am just looking for good advice. I fear that I may be a .... witch or came from a witch background.
Thank you

[nightowl]

Rukawa, :hug3:Maybe it would be best for you to seek the answers to these occurrences outside of Christianity. God is everywhere and works and moves in many different ways.:color: Feel free to pm me...

nightowl

[Silver]

Hi rukawa and welcome to the forum.
First, there is absolutely zero reason to feel bad about yourself in any way.
Life can be confusing and scary for all of us ~ you are not alone, there are lots of good caring people in the world, even if you don't believe you've gotten to know many just yet. Be calm, patient, kind to yourself and others.

[unus supra]

Thats an interesting story. Its always amazing to me to see human beings and the great depth and variety that we come in.

I can only say this with certainty. God accepts you for you.
Do the same for yourself. Only when you fully accept who and what you are, can you see clearly what parts of your life you wish to change. if you wish to change any part of it at all. Perhaps not, either way doesnt matter except in your heart and the hearts of people that care about you.

your fine.

[Winry]

Hello Rukawa. I don't know if you are telling the truth or not. I suppose so. But I will believe you. Some years ago, I used to have red marks on my forehead, maybe because of blood pressure -well, I am not a doctor, I don't know the real term- and that was when I was really angry... It was a dot and long curved line below. I don't know what it meant. I was really fascinated.

But...it does not change my behaviour. I think so.

myessentialsebooks.com

[aser's homie]

Don't let ideas control you if it bothers, Rukawa.

You are gifted, what a prize.

Sing a song, catch some air, will live long that way.

I sense the purpose that you just need a hug from a mother, that's all. Enough of chasing the wind. Pray for her, remember your mom alright and it will pay off.