PDA

View Full Version : Where did my spirit go?


surrendertotheflow
17-04-2011, 01:48 AM
I'm feeling down today, guys. I'm in the middle of sorting things through with my boyfriend of three years, we're both deciding where to go from here. We love each other, but we both agree we are being pulled in different directions, we agree we're better as friends as we're constantly disagreeing on important life situations.

So, I had planned this day in advance; I wanted to go wish my 14 year old sis a happy birthday and talk to my father about possible allowing me to stay at their house for a couple weeks if that's what it comes to. I casually brought up the idea, and no one seemed very thrilled about it. But, despite that, once I was there a couple hours, I decided I didn't want to be there. My spirit was drained!

I didn't feel like I belonged (which is how I felt when I lived there in high school, but I didn't understand why). My family is wonderful and all, they have a nice house, with nice things, my step mother makes a great salary and my dad is unemployed and starting up his landscaping business. That's all great, but when it comes to spirituality, they have none. They are the cookie-cutter life, in the supply and demand, on the go, buy the best and newest gadget on the market, type of people. They watch shows like House Hunter, The Hills, and reality t.v. It's like they are attracted to everything is not me. I am humble, simple, go with the flow. I don't believe they will ever understand me the way I would like them to, and I'm okay with that. I know they love me and accept me, they just do not understand me.

When I got home, my boyfriend comforted me and told me that, no doubt to your pleasure or satisfaction, the universe is unfolding as it should. And I definitely believe that.
But I really thought that was the direction the universe was unfolding to me. And now that it's not, I feel lost again. Where did my spirit go? Why do I feel weak? I need a hug guys :icon_frown:

I have been miss positivity living up my spiritual side for so long now, I forgot what it feels like to be down and losing faith. And I know I just have to accept that it is the balance of things and take it as it comes, good or bad. But it's most difficult during these times!

Silver
17-04-2011, 01:53 AM
Sorry you're down in the dumps, you seem like such a nice person.

We never stop learning in life and sometimes the lessons are subtle and hard to pick up on and just not what we want to hear, lol. My intuition tells me that the next lesson seems harder than it is, and it's something along the lines of graciously accepting others for whatever way they are and you maintain whomever you really are in your heart of hearts.
:hug:

CJ82Sky
17-04-2011, 02:19 AM
i second what silvergirl said. *hugs*

Ciqala
17-04-2011, 06:55 AM
Hey, hang in there, special things and amazing things will be coming to you after this slight storm :) Right now things may be coming up that are hard, but it will come to light soon, you are in a time of spiritual transformation, and you are doing well throughout it, sorting through things, remember to take it easy and be kind to yourself, and pay attention to what your body and your heart and soul needs during this time. Like for example, if you feel more tired, takes lots of rest. It’s a period of transmutation you are going through, we all have ups and downs and in-betweens, on our spiritual journeys, but the downs are more soul work and just as significant as the ups, and some people use these times as much needed rest periods. Your spirit has not gone anywhere, your connection has not gone anywhere, I know it can feel tough, but it will pass, just pay attention to what you need and treat yourself.
I would advise not to make any huge rash decisions that are sudden right away, instead take some time throughout it, be gentle on yourself, and feel what is right to do.
With any relationship you may experience being pulled in different directions, and not coming to terms on important life decisions, I guess my advice for that, is to move slow in your decisions, you are coming to a beautiful crossroads of figuring out what you truly want to do in life.
Pay attention to what drains you, and don’t feel guilty about it being because of “your family”. It just sounds like mundane things are exhausting to your essence, usually in transformative periods this happens. As time goes by and you work more on your spiritual growth you will become more balanced, and will be able to spend time with them, without those issues arising.
I know how it is to have family that has no idea or clue where I come from, and do not support my spiritual beliefs. In my younger years this was very frustrating to me, but over time I have learned that they still love me dearly for who I am, and I love them more than anything for who they are. It took a lot of work on my behalf, to open my views to people, be in their shoes, to comprehend where they came from, and to be okay with their decisions and ways of life. You can learn to live in understanding, even if it is just an understanding of agree to disagree, but still support each other. Your boyfriend is right, the universe is unfolding for you as it should, and these things that are coming up are great gifts for you to learn from and soar ahead.
I send lots of love and light your way, and a *huge hug*! Things will get better!

GentleStrength
17-04-2011, 07:45 AM
If it's clear that living again with your family will drain you or make you feel uncomfortable or sad I believe it is just a signal that there is some other path that you will find to go from where you are to where you want to be. I believe you will be supported by the universe in the way that works best for you.

As far as feeling drained I think there are two things that can create that feeling in this case. One is that even though we can love them unconditionally it is sometimes hard to understand how they can not be interested in spiritual growth and understanding since we know how amazing it is. The other is that for people who aren't interested in the same kinds of things that we are it is pretty uncomfortable for them to be around us sometimes. Without trying to we can make them question themselves since we appear to live such a different life than they are used to. This can certainly feel draining.

Hehe, my dad's side of the family pretty much consider me to be an alien from some other universe. They love me and I love them unconditionally as they are but I sure as hell confuse em! :D

I absolutely believe your path will unfold before you in an easy and joyful way where you will feel supported and loved along every step!

Love and Light