surrendertotheflow
17-04-2011, 01:48 AM
I'm feeling down today, guys. I'm in the middle of sorting things through with my boyfriend of three years, we're both deciding where to go from here. We love each other, but we both agree we are being pulled in different directions, we agree we're better as friends as we're constantly disagreeing on important life situations.
So, I had planned this day in advance; I wanted to go wish my 14 year old sis a happy birthday and talk to my father about possible allowing me to stay at their house for a couple weeks if that's what it comes to. I casually brought up the idea, and no one seemed very thrilled about it. But, despite that, once I was there a couple hours, I decided I didn't want to be there. My spirit was drained!
I didn't feel like I belonged (which is how I felt when I lived there in high school, but I didn't understand why). My family is wonderful and all, they have a nice house, with nice things, my step mother makes a great salary and my dad is unemployed and starting up his landscaping business. That's all great, but when it comes to spirituality, they have none. They are the cookie-cutter life, in the supply and demand, on the go, buy the best and newest gadget on the market, type of people. They watch shows like House Hunter, The Hills, and reality t.v. It's like they are attracted to everything is not me. I am humble, simple, go with the flow. I don't believe they will ever understand me the way I would like them to, and I'm okay with that. I know they love me and accept me, they just do not understand me.
When I got home, my boyfriend comforted me and told me that, no doubt to your pleasure or satisfaction, the universe is unfolding as it should. And I definitely believe that.
But I really thought that was the direction the universe was unfolding to me. And now that it's not, I feel lost again. Where did my spirit go? Why do I feel weak? I need a hug guys :icon_frown:
I have been miss positivity living up my spiritual side for so long now, I forgot what it feels like to be down and losing faith. And I know I just have to accept that it is the balance of things and take it as it comes, good or bad. But it's most difficult during these times!
So, I had planned this day in advance; I wanted to go wish my 14 year old sis a happy birthday and talk to my father about possible allowing me to stay at their house for a couple weeks if that's what it comes to. I casually brought up the idea, and no one seemed very thrilled about it. But, despite that, once I was there a couple hours, I decided I didn't want to be there. My spirit was drained!
I didn't feel like I belonged (which is how I felt when I lived there in high school, but I didn't understand why). My family is wonderful and all, they have a nice house, with nice things, my step mother makes a great salary and my dad is unemployed and starting up his landscaping business. That's all great, but when it comes to spirituality, they have none. They are the cookie-cutter life, in the supply and demand, on the go, buy the best and newest gadget on the market, type of people. They watch shows like House Hunter, The Hills, and reality t.v. It's like they are attracted to everything is not me. I am humble, simple, go with the flow. I don't believe they will ever understand me the way I would like them to, and I'm okay with that. I know they love me and accept me, they just do not understand me.
When I got home, my boyfriend comforted me and told me that, no doubt to your pleasure or satisfaction, the universe is unfolding as it should. And I definitely believe that.
But I really thought that was the direction the universe was unfolding to me. And now that it's not, I feel lost again. Where did my spirit go? Why do I feel weak? I need a hug guys :icon_frown:
I have been miss positivity living up my spiritual side for so long now, I forgot what it feels like to be down and losing faith. And I know I just have to accept that it is the balance of things and take it as it comes, good or bad. But it's most difficult during these times!