My Ego and Everybody thinks they are "the one"

[ZeroPointField]

Ok, I'm gonna take a bit of a risk with this thread and I hope at least some other people are honest enough with themselves to realize maybe they have this issue as well and not think I'm a big jerk. Hopefully?

I wanna talk about the ego. Some of you who have studied Theosophy or other systems may think of the Ego as the causal body or the higher self. Some others may think of the ego as the part of us that isn't especially bad, but is our everyday mind and personality that we need to let go of in times like meditation and when trying to contact our higher self. Some of these things are connected, but for this thread I'm referring to the everyday use of the word that people use when they talk about someone being arrogant, having a big ego, etc.

This part of myself is something I struggle with more than many things in my spiritual development. No matter how much I try to be humble and follow the many teachings that say we are all connected and we are all one and I should not judge others, and so on and so forth, if I am really honest with myself, I'm constantly wanting to be and even thinking I'm better than other people in various ways. As a healer, I want to be "the one", the guy who revolutionizes healing throughout the world, who makes the big discovery, who heals the world, eliminates disease, is praised by everyone for doing such great things, who has all the answers, who sounds wise and wonderful and teaches people amazing insightful things.

On the other side of this, I have made some big mistakes in my life that I often hate myself for, and beat myself up about it. So logically I know that I'm not at all better than anyone and with the tiniest twist of fate or situation I could be in any of the worst situations people end up in and get judged for - homeless, addicted, abusive, a criminal, ostracized for my race or gender or sexual orientation, or any number of things.

Ideally, I should not be in either one of these mindsets. I should not be thinking I'm better than anyone, and I should not be thinking I'm worse than anyone and beating up on myself. They are probably both ego related.

Anyway, my point is that I think this is one of the biggest hurdles to spiritual development in general - constantly working to understand and deeply integrate the idea that we are both brilliantly special and completely insignificant in the big scheme of things, WITHOUT either hating ourselves for the bad things or putting ourselves "above" others for the good things.

Maybe I'm wrong in thinking that most healers and spiritually-oriented people, particularly healers and spiritually-oriented people, have this within them on some level or another to think they are a better healer than the next person, or that they are more enlightened than the next person and therefore people should listen to them more than others, and so on...but(and this is still my ego talking) I kinda hope I'm right so I don't just sound like an arrogant jerk.

Anyway, it's late and I'm just in a mood to blurt out things on my mind, so I was thinking about this...

[TzuJanLi]

Greetings..

Everybody has the potential to 'go there', to feel self important and wish for glory.. but, time, experience and clarity reveal that we are 'parts' of a whole, and it is by far more satisfying to experience the expansion of the whole than the expansion of the self.. as the whole evolves so do its parts, as a 'part' elevates itself, apart from the whole', there is a disconnect.. the 'self-important' perspective blinds the experiencer to others, distract by their own glory.. but, everybody has the potential to 'go there'..

Be well..

[Neville]

I have struggled with my ego and am never succsessful in entirely subduing it or eradicating it.

I am getting the impression that the ego is an integral part of who we are and has a reason for it's existence.

There is very much a tendency to recognise how the ego is an enemy and how on occasion it works against us and great lengths are gone to, to bury it away or hide it.

I would like to at length discover the ego's purpose, at the moment al I can conclude is that it is an extension to the instinct of self preservation. The instinct of self preservation being designed to protect mind and body, where as ego seem designed to protect ones pride.

So we cultivate our sense of well being as best we can I suppose.

[in progress]

I just read a book which was fantastic in addressing this kind of thing and other emotions. It was called "Soul Love" by Sanaya Roman. It calls these kinds of emotions "unevolved" and originating in the solar plexus. A visualization/meditation is given to help move these emotions into the heart center for processing/evolvement.

Everyone has ego issues of some sort. I think a lot of people feel like you ZeroPointField and I certainly include myself. I look around at what is being reflected back to me and sometimes it ain't pretty. The arrogant ego that you mention is one of them.

Just love yourself as you are and realize it's part of the journey. We came down here to work with things like this. There was probably a time you didn't realize this about yourself so you've come a long way!

[God-Like]

As a healer, I want to be "the one", the guy who revolutionizes healing throughout the world, who makes the big discovery, who heals the world, eliminates disease, is praised by everyone for doing such great things, who has all the answers, who sounds wise and wonderful and teaches people amazing insightful things. .

There's nothing wrong with wanting that mate . Is the primary reason for wanting this because of the self Importance that will come hand In hand with It or Is the desire to be the best channel that you can be? In that respect one’s Individual achievements / Attunements will benefit the masses .

Perhaps If you become the best channel that you can be you will be such an individual who will do such things .

There was a period of 10 years where I kept silent regarding my realizations / experiences and I pretty well kept my self to my self I didn’t read of other peoples experiences or Interact on a spiritual nature really within anyone . I was In a world of my own so to speak . I felt the journey was for my eyes only . In a way how could anybody understand what I went through and realized from one realm of existence to another .

The more I was grateful and humble within my self work / journey the more I came to know myself .

For some reason things changed and I started to venture out In to the world and became members of development circles healing groups and such likes and In an Instant I realized the ego, the judgement that arises In others on such occasions .

The energy needed to defend one’s self or the energy needed In order to be heard . People thought I was immensely shy at first but I kept largely quiet and still am to a degree . I use the forums In a way to express myself without the barrage of noise that occurs within conversation . It makes my head spin . So I am grateful to be In expression whist my heads remains In a non spinning motion .

I think many find the more outward / public an Individual will become the harder It will be to feel grounded . Like a footballer that scores a goal In front of 100,000 fans lol . I know a few that have found It like this and I spoke to a fellow healer that was on the t.v last year and he agreed .

Perhaps It’s a test In a way . I would say to a degree It Is inevitable that an individual that has great abilities will find themselves within the public eye at some point . It can make or break an individual . It can sway an Individual where he or she becomes seduced by the limelight . Perhaps the cave at this point Is more alluring .

x daz x

[bbr]

Anyway, my point is that I think this is one of the biggest hurdles to spiritual development in general - constantly working to understand and deeply integrate the idea that we are both brilliantly special and completely insignificant in the big scheme of things, WITHOUT either hating ourselves for the bad things or putting ourselves "above" others for the good things.Very good point, and I struggled with that for many years. All I can say is one reaches a point in their development where a kind of self-understanding of soul takes over. My experience is that we learn to love and accept ourselves as we are. We come to understand who we really are and what we're capable of, and we learn to both celebrate our brilliance and forgive our inability to be that at all times.

[happy camper]

Here is something I read a while ago about ego from Deepak chopra.I can't remember the name of the book,but I made some notes.

"If we look at ego without without prejudice against it,this level brings identity into being,not all the external things that ego drives us to pursue,it gives us stories and models to identify with.Ego also gives us knowledge about identity itself,what it means to be human:I can not know who i am without family and society. It can bring us closer to wholeness through sense of one humanity,need for self respect,dignity and inner worth."

Also personally I think jealosy and envy are different.Envy can give you a great drive to try to become the best.Even if you don't become the best,doesn't really matter.It is the process that matters. Don't beat yourself for wanting to be the best.
And if you are looking to be the best to get accepted by other people,I guess only time and self discovery will help,so you can find inner satisfaction,but even then It's not the worst quality.Allowing yourself to feel those feelings and process them ,and having patience,is the best advice I can come up with.
:smile:

[mattie]

Ego is often incorrectly equated w/ an imbalanced ego, but ego is really just our sense of self. Ego/self is entirely OK. W/o the ability to perceive individuality we would miss out on valuable learning we are doing.

Interesting discussion on how our spiritual view of ego being demonized is rapidly changing paradigm:
http://www.enlightennext.org/magazine/j17/self_acceptance.asp?page=1

In “How to Expand LOVE”, pg. 108- 109, the Dalai Lama states about ego, “A strong ego is needed, but without becoming egotistical. You need a strong will to achieve the good. To make a wish that you become able to help all beings throughout space, you need a strong self; with a weak self such an intervention is impossible. “

Ego is the portion of our extended energy field that is here experiencing individuality. It’s very different from HS. Multidimensions.com has some very good information about these levels (self, HS, Twin flame, I AM Presence), the Ds, & our journey through them.

There are many teachings that have gotten it wrong about the purpose of self/ego. Oneness isn’t about becoming an undifferentiated one, negating our individuality, but appreciating that we are all rich vital threads in the tapestry of humanity & the Universe. Many of these teachings that criticize ego/self are widespread, but being often repeated or published doesn’t make them correct, but just rampant.

Those who are energetically savvy who don’t want us to progress spiritually & be empowered are very invested in presenting an authoritarian view where we are steered to disrespect self. They have done this very successfully & cleverly for centuries.

Suzan Carroll notes about our SELF or entire energy field, “It was this “SELF” that chose to send a fragment of its total Essence through the 3D Matrix of forgetfulness to see if it could “do it on its own” as an “individual body.” ... this “new” group form is not a “herd mentality” but is, instead, a group mentality in which the sense of individuality is not lost. Instead, “individuality” lives in “unity” with Oneness.”
http://www.multidimensions.com/Superconscious/super_integration_awakening.html

Trust that you can make a huge impact on the world in many ways. Being placed on a pedestal & lauded about being “the one” is a fairly outdated Piscean era thing though. We are ALL “the one” as each & every one of us has an important role to fulfill. It is OK to feel special. Everyone should.

Judgment is an interesting word. Like ego, it is often discussed as if all judgment was harsh inappropriate criticism & not OK, but judgment is really just the ability to reach a conclusion. We would be in a really big fix if we didn’t have the ability to reach a conclusion. Like self/ego judgment is neither inherently good or bad. It is a neutral mechanism.

Move past the self flogging of hating self. It’s not productive & is HIGHLY limiting. If you now realize that other options might have been more productive choices in the past, that is OK & positive learning. Give your self a pat on the back. What would be problematic is if you hadn’t had that realization & hadn't learned from past experiences.
We are all here to live & learn. Enjoy the journey w/ gusto.

Don’t be intimidated by a mythically perfect goal of what you feel we should be as this is likely to be a powerful limitation. We can have a goal of how we want to improve self w/o feeling inadequate. We’ve had loads of messages from organized religion that we should disrespect self, that we are inherently flawed (sinners). We are NOT. We are exploring individuality under specific circumstances to learn more. Learning & improving self doesn’t mean we are flawed. It is highly positive that we are progressing. We continue learning & expanding through all of eternity. It's an ongoing continual process. Each place we are in is OK & is a vital part of our learning process.

Shift from looking at life’s choices as ‘bad’ or ‘mistakes.’ They are just choices. If one choice doesn’t prove to be productive, we have limitless options to make another choice.

Everyone is on their journey & will process it as they need to, so don’t waste time in grading the progress of others’ journeys or ranking your self in comparison to them. We are all on the same journey a precious few steps apart. The only journey we need to be concerned about is our own.

Oneness isn’t about being insignificant at all. It is about realizing our importance & partnership w/ the Universe. Some religious teachings have promoted that we are to be humble & are nothing in comparison to the greatness of the religion’s deity. These teachings are designed to keep us from connecting w/ our divine energies & to keep us disempowered, feeling separated & inferior from the other energies in the Universe.

Those who consider themselves to be more enlightened than others can be counted on to not truly be enlightened! The more we learn the more we realize we have to learn.

Newbie→Lightworker→Wayshower-
http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?p=150153#

[TzuJanLi]

Greetings..

The concept of Ego is a contrived description of a perfectly natural aspect of Wholeness.. the use of the concept as a tool for manipulating awareness is much more insiduous than the necessity of an identity (ego).. typically, we use the word 'ego' to describe the 'we' we wish we weren't, a scapegoat of a concept where we dump our undesirable traits, but.. people are generally very willing to take ownership of their desirable traits, though.. before Freud popularized the concept of 'ego', we were actually more mentally healthy, holistic..

Be well..

[7luminaries]

Ok, I'm gonna take a bit of a risk with this thread and I hope at least some other people are honest enough with themselves to realize maybe they have this issue as well and not think I'm a big jerk. Hopefully?

I wanna talk about the ego. Some of you who have studied Theosophy or other systems may think of the Ego as the causal body or the higher self. Some others may think of the ego as the part of us that isn't especially bad, but is our everyday mind and personality that we need to let go of in times like meditation and when trying to contact our higher self. Some of these things are connected, but for this thread I'm referring to the everyday use of the word that people use when they talk about someone being arrogant, having a big ego, etc.

This part of myself is something I struggle with more than many things in my spiritual development. No matter how much I try to be humble and follow the many teachings that say we are all connected and we are all one and I should not judge others, and so on and so forth, if I am really honest with myself, I'm constantly wanting to be and even thinking I'm better than other people in various ways. As a healer, I want to be "the one", the guy who revolutionizes healing throughout the world, who makes the big discovery, who heals the world, eliminates disease, is praised by everyone for doing such great things, who has all the answers, who sounds wise and wonderful and teaches people amazing insightful things.

....
Maybe I'm wrong in thinking that most healers and spiritually-oriented people, particularly healers and spiritually-oriented people, have this within them on some level or another to think they are a better healer than the next person, or that they are more enlightened than the next person and therefore people should listen to them more than others, and so on...but(and this is still my ego talking) I kinda hope I'm right so I don't just sound like an arrogant jerk.

Anyway, it's late and I'm just in a mood to blurt out things on my mind, so I was thinking about this...

Well...as others have said...it's easy to go there, but it's not that hard to avoid it either, as long as you keep your perspective. We are all given many gifts and blessings, either of spirit or of body, or both -- one or more of which we will develop further in a given lifetime. As God-Like said, this can be viewed as a process of fine-tuning our vessel, which is a spiritual vessel with material and intangible aspects. I like what God-Like said about being a channel for healing energy. As in a channel for the divine healing energy and love of God/One. Sometimes ppl are concerned about healing...how do you "do it" and where does the energy "come from"? Techniques vary and channels vary...some healers are powerful channels and have a very high level of perception and knowledge...I have learnt a few things and I have only scratched the surface of what some among us know...

But as to the energy, it's no secret...the source of healing energy and love is divine...it's from God/One/Source...however you conceive it. Most ppl on these forums will think of channeling in a specific sense, but whether channeling messages or channeling healing, these are both ways in which the divine energy and knowledge come through you. Wanting to be more and do more is a part of the desire to connect to the divine, or to strengthen our connection with God/One. I agree, I think it's a natural thing and is a good thing as long as you keep your perspective.

It's also helpful to understand that the interaction between the patient (sorry for poor terms), healer, and God is important. Sometimes the healing is primarily for spiritual healing only and the physical healing may be less important or irrelevant to the patient...as in perhaps it is their time. We're not God or "the One"...and as long as healers understand that
-everyone dies,
-it's just a matter of when,
-the when is flexible but it's not all in our hands,
-and last but not least, that even when we don't understand, it's all to the good...& let's admit it...this one can be hard to deal with.

...then it's easier to keep that perspective.

Peace,
7L

[Neville]

Good info mattie.

Interesting discussion on how our spiritual view of ego being demonized is rapidly changing paradigm:
http://www.enlightennext.org/magazin...nce.asp?page=1 (http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/redir.php?link=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.spiritualforums.co m%2Fvb%2Fredir.php%3Flink%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww .spiritualforums.com%252Fvb%252Fredir.php%253Flink %253Dhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.enlightennext.or g%25252Fmagazine%25252Fj17%25252Fself_acceptance.a sp%25253Fpage%25253D1)




I have always been slightly at odds that we would and should seek to suppress this apparently integral part of us.

The trick of course , is to allow ego it's full reign without appearing egoistic. That . I am still working on... It's one of my works in progress, How to healthily express the ego. Which I assume would be taking steps to prevent people from thinking I am a big head (boastful).

This is a tough cookie, as anyone who has gone 10 rounds with their own ego will know. I suspect that each of us are quiet brilliant in our own way but sometimes the ego would have us climb over and above others to get to be the top tier of the cake.

It's like hobson's choice. damned if we do and damned if we don't :smile:

[BlueSky]

Nice post OP!

I think it is human to mistake our significance for being special. I think we come around to seeing how significant our lives and actions are and how equally so it is for everybody.
James

[themaster]

constantly working to understand and deeply integrate the idea that we are both brilliantly special and completely insignificant in the big scheme of things.We have always been big, we've never been small..

That's the spiritual message I feel like relaying.. :smile:

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by ZeroPointField
constantly working to understand and deeply integrate the idea that we are both brilliantly special and completely insignificant in the big scheme of things.


If you think about it, maybe your thoughts that there is a big scheme is why you feel as you do.
Thoughts that say something like “there is a big scheme and I don’t affect it much”

But IF there is no big scheme, and we create our reality…..then in that case, we are very special and very significant.
I don’t mean…look at me…I mean as in regards to how we affect everything and how everything affects us.
What do you think?
James

[7luminaries]

Nice post OP!

I think it is human to mistake our significance for being special. I think we come around to seeing how significant our lives and actions are and how equally so it is for everybody.
James

Agreed...we're all important pieces of the whole.

[star-child]

This part of myself is something I struggle with more than many things in my spiritual development. No matter how much I try to be humble and follow the many teachings that say we are all connected and we are all one and I should not judge others, and so on and so forth, if I am really honest with myself, I'm constantly wanting to be and even thinking I'm better than other people in various ways. As a healer, I want to be "the one", the guy who revolutionizes healing throughout the world, who makes the big discovery, who heals the world, eliminates disease, is praised by everyone for doing such great things, who has all the answers, who sounds wise and wonderful and teaches people amazing insightful things.

On the other side of this, I have made some big mistakes in my life that I often hate myself for, and beat myself up about it. So logically I know that I'm not at all better than anyone and with the tiniest twist of fate or situation I could be in any of the worst situations people end up in and get judged for - homeless, addicted, abusive, a criminal, ostracized for my race or gender or sexual orientation, or any number of things.
Lol, I laugh because I could have written this myself. I often feel like I want to be the most enlightened, knowledgeable or philosophical of most of my immediate peers and so even if they disagree with me right now, I will feel that one day they would look back and remember me being 'right' which contradicts my belief of each of us having our own truths but hey, I guess thats my ego!

I have read lots of things about the ego in the past and my view of it is that it is associated with your subconscious and tries to protect you from pain by telling you that you need to be better or that you are better than everyone else which coincides with the second part of your post. Your ego is probably attached to the past and the events which you view as mistakes.

Don't worry too much about the ego. Trying not to identify yourself with it and just observing it will help you gain power and connect you with who you truly are.

I hope I made sense :smile: Star.

[seeker2011]

zero
I can tell you I have felt the same way (regarding your first post) and have come to some conclusions.
1=ego means "me, mine, I, my" That is, ego is what Nature endowed us with when we were put into the physical world, behind the viel of forgetfulness, (of other places where we exist), in order for us to feel and believe that we are separate things, as humans. It is this need to think we are seperate things that enables us to experience the duality necessary to discover what we are not, in order to discover what we are.
The ego, or earthbound personality as i call it, is a role we have to play. It is not us.
It is necessary for our time here. Now that i think of a way to answer you, i think i should say "ego, whatever was intended from before being born, has become a compilation of that which has been thrust at it". Specifically, think about how many times a parent will tell a child "you can do it" as opposed to "your body can do it". We are not taught as a rule to distinguish between our selves and our bodies. We are taught that we are our bodies from day 1. Our consciousness has been explained by a lot of people as something that is part of a whole or all that is, or whatever. But our bodies are explained as a seperate thing, not part of anything else what so ever. So I think, being misdirected or mistaught from the beginning is the most serious mistake that people do to each other, but it's only because there are no believeable teachers here right now. At least not any that are readily available. All the teachers I've seen or read are firmly rooted in the physical mentality, not spiritual at all when you read past their bull.
And since i'm also a 3d human, this might not be exactly what i intended to convey, but i sure hope it's close.

[mattie]

...

The concept of Ego is a contrived description of a perfectly natural aspect of Wholeness... we use the word 'ego' to describe the 'we' we wish we weren't, a scapegoat of a concept where we dump our undesirable traits, ... before Freud popularized the concept of 'ego', we were actually more mentally healthy, holistic...

While much of the Freudian view of ego still hang on in general culture, decades ago the psychotherapy profession moved past Freud’s meaning of ego.

One of the necessary steps in meaningful energetic/spiritual development is to take 100% ownership of all of our energies, even the ones we aren’t keen on.

When ego is viewed as something that is beyond our control, generating undesirable thoughts & behavior, this sets up a very disempowering dynamic of our energies for us. While it may be handy to have a ready scapegoat (ego) for the repository of that which we know is undesirable, it is hugely disempowering to imagine that some force (ego) is out of our control & causing us to act in an undesirable manner.

It was a trendy & most unfortunate fad in some New Age circles to promote the idea of ego death. This is a good example of a idea that got woefully off track as it promoted the idea that self/ego wasn't OK.

While the self/ego is expanded to encompass a larger perspective as one expands consciousness & we move past the sole perspective of individuality, the process isn’t about eliminating ego/self & replacing it w/ our multidimensional SELF. As we naturally expand dimensionally we will get to a place where our perspective shifts from primarily individual to that of group consciousness.

[ZeroPointField]

Wow, this thread certainly started a lot of conversation! That's great!

It's very cool to hear so many people's thoughts and experiences about the ego. I actually got a little overwhelmed thinking about responding with so many extensive responses so quickly, so for now I'm just gonna try to absorb all the info here. Thanks for all the great replies!

[zipzip]

Hi ZeroPointField,

just relax and enjoy the ride!!! It all takes time.....Just LOVE, and be LOVE and let that part of you come out more and more (and it will)

zipzip

[GentleStrength]

The question I would pose to you is this...

If you could help someone heal themself or provide an insight that would change someone's life in a positive way would you do it even if someone else would get all the recognition and credit for it?

If yes, then your positive intention to help others is more important to you than your ego's desire for adoration/recognition.

If not then your ego will actually restrict how much you can give of yourself depending on the credit you must receive as your "due".

The real tricky part is what happens when you offer advice/ideas to help someone but they see it in a negative way or attack you in response. Can you still at that point feel good about your attempt to help another without needing to try and convince them or force them to accept what you tell them as valid? Accept that their reality is absolutely valid for them and not "wrong" because you believe differently?

Those who don't care about recognition, I believe, have the highest ability to heal/teach/support everyone and raise the vibrational frequency of the world.

My 2 cents

Love and Light

[mattie]

We have always been big, we've never been small...

Reminds me of the delightful Marianne Williamson poem, ‘Our Deepest Fear’ from ‘A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles,’

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves,
who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.’

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Marianne_Williamson

[Orbie]

Another brilliant question ZPF thanks for posting it and being brave to put it out there. The responses, Im sure, have helped many, myself included x

[Internal Queries]

hmmm maybe the entire human collective gets the same message, the same call to evolve and to cause evolution in our species, a prime directive. and then some folks, due to Divine Circumstance, become symbols of that innovative drive to evolve by getting more notice from the collective than is average. we call this "fame" "success" "notoriety", which would be the human collective recognizing and praising itSelf.

just a thought.

[Neville]

Reminds me of the delightful Marianne Williamson poem, ‘Our Deepest Fear’ from ‘A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles,’

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.



Inspiring and yet so true for me personally.

[Perspective]

Ok, I'm gonna take a bit of a risk with this thread and I hope at least some other people are honest enough with themselves to realize maybe they have this issue as well and not think I'm a big jerk. Hopefully? Actually, I especially respect & trust those who are honest about both their strengths & weaknesses, as you have been. :hug3:
...Anyway, my point is that I think this is one of the biggest hurdles to spiritual development in general - constantly working to understand and deeply integrate the idea that we are both brilliantly special and completely insignificant in the big scheme of things, WITHOUT either hating ourselves for the bad things or putting ourselves "above" others for the good things. I've heard that the spiritual cause of bi-polar (either "all good" or " all bad") thinking... is "an extreme expression of our desire to do right & our denial of wrong doing."
Another "thinking distortion" that may contribute to this... is "fallacy of fairness" - which is rooted in truth. When we're born, our survival depends on being "important enough" to be cared for. If others are cared for instead of us, we may be neglected & die. Of course, as adults, we are responsible for our survival & thriving.

Other related thinking distortions that I've been trying to think better about are... taking things personally, jumping to conclusions, over-generalization & always being right.

Anyway, I think our ego gives us necessary illusions that help us have confidence in exploring higher truths, while also keeping us humble.

[orli_the_owl]

I agree with you to a point, I too want to be the best "the one" as you put it, and somtimes veiw myself superiour to everyone but also like you said, I know im not. and I hate many aspects of myself deeply. ironicly, one of those things is that i like to think im superiour.

But if you take the two together, they cancel each other out, create the balance, yin and yang.
its not that you always think you ARE the best but by WANTING to be the best, you strive and work to acheive somthing that may benefit others- world healing i think was your example. And if you have a little self satesfaction there then you deserve it.But at the same time as wanting to be/ acting superior, you know you are not, you may have superior knowlage in one area and have acheived something brilliant but you are not the only one and you achknowlage that. you know what you have acheived is not because you are better, but because you worked harder. thus the two are balanced, and in that resepect a little ego is good. it enables progression.
True egotism, I think, is when people truly beleive they are better than others. it exists in people who do not have that doubt, that logic. the ones that do not have the balance, have the yin but not the yang.
So, dont worry about your ego untill you have removed all trace of your own insignificance :-)

ps. this is just my take, no ego here lol

[ZeroPointField]

I'm absolutely loving this thread! Hearing everyone talk about both their good and their bad sides - being proud of successes and ok with and honest about flaws. It was a late night and a lucid moment when I posted this, but I don't think it's very often I could have been that honest publicly without the worries about what people think, etc. overpowering the desire to be honest and just speak my truth whatever it is. And yet, here you all are being so honest - HUGE respect for all of you!

I feel cheesy saying all this(my ego I guess, lol), but still. It's easy to forget that I don't think anything every touches me so deeply as hearing or speaking the total, naked truth. Great work! This is TRUE spiritual work in what many of you have said. Awesome!

[unus supra]

Alright buddy, the thing about the ego, is like the body, as long as you are here in this form so to will the ego be here with you.

These thoughts are perfectly natural. in fact some may find that the more spiritually adept they become, the more pronounced (or the more aware of it) they become.

You will not subdue it or iradicate it any more than you would the body. the key is in knowing, like the rest of the body, it is a functional mechanism.

The heart pumps blood, the stomach digests food, and the ego produces thought in the form of symbolism.

It is not you.

That little bit of detachment is all you need. Take your awareness and put it on the point of your finger. notice how it comes alive? put that awareness on any point of your body and it comes alive.

The prime misidentification comes about when we mistake our thoughts for being ourselves, in which case we encase them with the majority of our awareness. Thus as we grow older, individuals tend to spend more and more time in their heads than experiencing the incredible sensory stimuli that is constantly flooding us. That is where delusion, anxiety come in. That is when people identify with a belief, because it is a construct of the mind and they believe the mind is them, so strongly that they will kill each other.

So know the mind for what it is. In knowing what it is in its most primitive form you can then step back and see it from another vantage point.

you cant study the car if your busy driving it.

Does that make sense? Yes, if i thought i was my ego,

i would be in jail in a straight jacket on death row for God only knows how many things.

But im not. And neither are you.

What we wish to do then, is having that vantage point, and having familiarized ourselves with the way in which the mind functions, we train it to behave in accordance with not belief, but what we know through direct, mutually observable, direct experience to be absolutley true. Not your "own truth" but rather A few fundamental laws of creation that can be observed in all phenomenon by all people. Things so simple as to be literally hidden in plain sight. The mind is a conditioned mechanism. Wipe out the old ruts in the road, and with understanding, realign it.

In doing so, it becomes more quite by default. It is a science, but one that can be learned. Thats why they say meditation is not enough if it is not unified with insight. That is the process by which through meditation we observe and reafirm to the mind in clear focus what has been learned in terms of a few simple fundamental laws. Impermanence, conditioned existence and things of that nature. Think of these fundamental laws as the key hole, realization as the door, and the ego as the key itself. We shave the key in so that it may fit the keyhole so we may open the door to broader understanding and ultimately....well that highest place we all seek.

We know it, we train it, and the rest takes care of itself.

By the way, i absolutely ROCK.

and so do you partner

thats the ego, thats what it does, dont sweat it. your perfectly healthy and normal.
you absolutely ARE the one. And so am i. the ego only makes the mistake of thinking
it is alone in this perfection as opposed to someone else.

i hoped i didnt go too far off on a tangent. oops

[Jules]

zpf .. what a brilliant thread! and soo brave of you for posting. One of the hardest things is to truly look at 'self' and admit to your own faults (for want of a better word!) - but it's the only way to recognise who and what you're NOT before fully accepting and knowing who you ARE.

there's nothing wrong with wanting to be the best you can be. Providing it's for the right reasons and not to be selfish then that's absolutely fine. Find the true you and BE the person you want to be, working to the very best of your ability.

Namaste
Jue
x

[ACIM guy]

I like and respect you but my ego thinks you're a jerk. That can't be a bad thing, can it? :smile: Actually you have a pretty good idea of the nature of "your" ego, or anyone's. Yes our egos can send us to hell but they also are the source of our power. It's all in "how ya use it"

[unus supra]

ya, im not good at being a jerk, i got other ways of being, i guess mean would be the appropriate term. not my style.

anyways.

ya i know how it works, its still surprises me now and again though. which is a good thing i suppose.....no disregard that, it doesnt surprise me, it does trick me.

interesting book by the way.

peace and carrots

[Deusdrum]

The question I would pose to you is this...

If you could help someone heal themself or provide an insight that would change someone's life in a positive way would you do it even if someone else would get all the recognition and credit for it?

If yes, then your positive intention to help others is more important to you than your ego's desire for adoration/recognition.

If not then your ego will actually restrict how much you can give of yourself depending on the credit you must receive as your "due".

The real tricky part is what happens when you offer advice/ideas to help someone but they see it in a negative way or attack you in response. Can you still at that point feel good about your attempt to help another without needing to try and convince them or force them to accept what you tell them as valid? Accept that their reality is absolutely valid for them and not "wrong" because you believe differently?

Those who don't care about recognition, I believe, have the highest ability to heal/teach/support everyone and raise the vibrational frequency of the world.

My 2 cents

Love and Light
I really like this GentleStrength. Very good points.

Let me play devil's advocate somewhat here (though i really am on the same wavelength with where you have taken your post) and ask you, is it wrong to appreciate positive recognition?

Another question i would like to pose to you, or anyone else, can we ever really know for sure whether our advice will have a positive or negative effect?

Can well intentioned, from the heart, selfless advice that is misplaced or poorly communicated or construed go amiss? Can the perfect piece of advice fail to have any effect at all, if it is not delivered from a genuine place?

This goes for both negative and positive responses or reactions. Maybe a person praises you endlessly for the great advice that has helped them so much, but in reality has had an adverse effect that this person in question has failed to recognize.

Can we be too focused on 'helping'? Some of the best words of advice i have given, i sometimes do not even know what it was that i said. I find sometimes that in the past, when i have tried so hard to help, it has gone astray, and i think that helping someone to make feel like such a good guy for being so helpful can backfire, and it is also somewhat dishonest. Whereas when i 'help' someone because it what i want to do regardless and there is an empathy with them or the situation, that this is more real to me.

ZeroPointField - I haven't kept up with this thread, but i LOVE! the original post. Pretty much took something i too ponder and at times struggle with straight from my brain.

I will say this, the fact that you recognize the game that we can play on ourselves in this respect, i think says a lot about your own character in that you are able to have that degree of self honesty.

And also, i don't think we should beat ourselves up over it too much on one hand, because a lot of people have this tendency. I sometimes see myself as this super important powerful guy that the world depends upon for its sustenance,(ok i am exagerating here a bit) and without downplaying my role or the influence that i do have, over the years, i have come to recognize *the brilliance of other people!*

I mean it, in class for example, when i stop trying to get my words of earth shattering mind-blowing unquestionable wisdom in there, and listen to some of the things that my co-students have to say, i realize just how amazing, intelligent, everyone else is. And also, even more than that, how much i agree with them (or if not, often how i can honestly see where they are coming from) or resonate with what they are saying.

I really am in awe of the beauty of people sometimes. Often, actually. For me, the trick is to get over myself, to stop thinking i am the center of attention, and start *paying attention to the center* where we are *all the one*.

Beautiful thread. I shall re-read and explore it's unfolding further here.

OneLove ~ *

[BlueSky]

Alright buddy, the thing about the ego, is like the body, as long as you are here in this form so to will the ego be here with you.

These thoughts are perfectly natural. in fact some may find that the more spiritually adept they become, the more pronounced (or the more aware of it) they become.

You will not subdue it or iradicate it any more than you would the body. the key is in knowing, like the rest of the body, it is a functional mechanism.

The heart pumps blood, the stomach digests food, and the ego produces thought in the form of symbolism.

It is not you.

That little bit of detachment is all you need. Take your awareness and put it on the point of your finger. notice how it comes alive? put that awareness on any point of your body and it comes alive.

The prime misidentification comes about when we mistake our thoughts for being ourselves, in which case we encase them with the majority of our awareness. Thus as we grow older, individuals tend to spend more and more time in their heads than experiencing the incredible sensory stimuli that is constantly flooding us. That is where delusion, anxiety come in. That is when people identify with a belief, because it is a construct of the mind and they believe the mind is them, so strongly that they will kill each other.

So know the mind for what it is. In knowing what it is in its most primitive form you can then step back and see it from another vantage point.

you cant study the car if your busy driving it.

Does that make sense? Yes, if i thought i was my ego,

i would be in jail in a straight jacket on death row for God only knows how many things.

But im not. And neither are you.

What we wish to do then, is having that vantage point, and having familiarized ourselves with the way in which the mind functions, we train it to behave in accordance with not belief, but what we know through direct, mutually observable, direct experience to be absolutley true. Not your "own truth" but rather A few fundamental laws of creation that can be observed in all phenomenon by all people. Things so simple as to be literally hidden in plain sight. The mind is a conditioned mechanism. Wipe out the old ruts in the road, and with understanding, realign it.

In doing so, it becomes more quite by default. It is a science, but one that can be learned. Thats why they say meditation is not enough if it is not unified with insight. That is the process by which through meditation we observe and reafirm to the mind in clear focus what has been learned in terms of a few simple fundamental laws. Impermanence, conditioned existence and things of that nature. Think of these fundamental laws as the key hole, realization as the door, and the ego as the key itself. We shave the key in so that it may fit the keyhole so we may open the door to broader understanding and ultimately....well that highest place we all seek.

We know it, we train it, and the rest takes care of itself.

By the way, i absolutely ROCK.

and so do you partner

thats the ego, thats what it does, dont sweat it. your perfectly healthy and normal.
you absolutely ARE the one. And so am i. the ego only makes the mistake of thinking
it is alone in this perfection as opposed to someone else.

i hoped i didnt go too far off on a tangent. oops

just want to say......Nice post......some really good points made IMO. Very Balanced.
James

[konrard]

IMO

the ego is what we like to perceive as our greatest enemy, but the truth is the ego was and appears to be just a thought system. the ego believes in duality, seperation, and fear. all of these things exist only in our mind and have no reality at all. they are like security blankets our higher self uses to shield us from the truth. everyone thinks and identifies with the ego, or we wouldnt still be here on this Earth.

[Sunshinelady]

Bless you, you are so honest and sincere. I just wanted to let you know, if you haven't already come across, there is a book called "the power of now" by Eckart Tolle which is worth reading. I can totally relate to what you are saying but after reading that book, something changed within me and helped me see things the way they are without attaching judgment and emotions:-)
Peace,
:-)