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Roselove
01-04-2011, 03:05 AM
This is something i've been struggling with since i began awakening. The world is not what I thought it was, it doesnt work the way i thought it did and it's left me confused and disillusioned. I don't trust my judgement anymore.

Anyone expierence this during their ascension/awakening?

in progress
01-04-2011, 09:38 AM
I was thrown for a loop initially. I told someone I felt my brains had been splattered against a wall. I found some of it disturbing but most of the time I've been utterly fascinated.

Hang in there Rosewater. I've seen you expressing troubled feelings about your awakening on some threads but I promise you that as you continue your journey you will learn and grow more. The highs will get higher. You will still hit lows but realize this is all part of your journey. You are clearing out the old stuff to make room for the new better stuff. I grant you it's hard to remember at times when you're in the midst of a low!

You can always trust your judgement. Just ask yourself if it feels good. Trust your feelings. If something felt good and then stops feeling good make a new choice. As you change so will the things you resonate with (as you've discovered w/ your awakening!).

I highly highly recommend Sanaya Roman's books. Check out the descriptions of a few, particularly "Personal Power through Awareness". Her "Soul Love" book is currently knocking my socks off (it's about developing christ consciousness).

Emmalevine
01-04-2011, 11:16 AM
As far as books go, any of Pema Chodron's are also good. Very grounding.

Rosewater I wonder if you are falling into my own trap of putting too much pressure on yourself? Self judgment can turn outwards into world judgement. The world is okay, it is how it is and so are you. Spiritual awakening can be disconcerting if you didn't believe what you now know to be true, but I'm not sure how this is stopping you from trusting your judgment? It doesn't mean you shouldn't feel that way, just that I don';t understand. Maybe elaborate a bit if you feel able?

psychoslice
01-04-2011, 11:22 AM
This is what realization is, its realizing that everything is not what you thought it was, it is now Realized, it now all makes sense, you are realized.

GentleStrength
01-04-2011, 11:28 AM
Becoming Disillusioned is actually a very good thing in my book. There can certainly be some time adjusting to the removal of the illusions we have been taught/accepted in our development but as we take conscious direction of our life and growth I think we can create a reality that we prefer to experience.

I strongly believe as you release the limitations from the past your future will become very bright indeed.

Love and Light

Emmalevine
01-04-2011, 11:34 AM
Becoming Disillusioned is actually a very good thing in my book. There can certainly be some time adjusting to the removal of the illusions we have been taught/accepted in our development but as we take conscious direction of our life and growth I think we can create a reality that we prefer to experience.

I strongly believe as you release the limitations from the past your future will become very bright indeed.

Love and Light

That's very true, that has helped me too. :smile:

Moonkestrel
01-04-2011, 11:41 AM
Thanks Rosewater for posting this thread. I'm experiencing something similar - one minute I feel great, the next minute am doubting everything including myself and the validity of my spiritual development. Am feeling the latter today and although I know it will pass am finding it a bit tough.....feels like my ego is poking fun at me - does that make any sense at all? Overall am ok, just need to look after myself...as do you. I suggest a hot bubble bath with candles burning and lovely tinkly music on!

Roselove
01-04-2011, 01:59 PM
thank you everyone! i guess i was finally set in my beliefs, then i get hit with this lol i don't know how to process it, my beliefs were so off from how the universe really works, i find myself questioning everything i knew. It's extremely uncomfortable hope it passes.

Enya
01-04-2011, 02:15 PM
The more you learn... the more you realise how little you know.
It's humbling, but ultimately satisfying because it means you're not 'finished' and there is so much still to see and do!! :D

Internal Queries
01-04-2011, 02:18 PM
i imbed a particle of doubt in every belief i explore in case i'm fooling myself. i don't want to go off into some silly tangent that leads to feeling stupid. i'll try just about any concept on for size but if there's one thing i can't stand is deceiving myself, feeling like a fool and embarrassing myself in front of mySelf. i'll balance on the point between belief and disbelief waiting for confirmation one way or the other. it's not exactly a comfortable position but self honesty requires such a balancing act.

Perspective
01-04-2011, 06:05 PM
Hi Rosewater,
I related so much with what you wrote, I didn't know what to say at first.
It seems like I went through stages... first I was exploring, then upon discovering how almost my entire life was based on incorrect beliefs - LOTS of anger!
Then, I realized everything's illusion... so how can I trust myself?
I'm still feeling this way somewhat, but I'm getting better.

We have to start somewhere... I used to be so ignorant - yet so confident!
I did some crazy things - that I probably wouldn't do now because I'm too aware of possible consequences. In a way, I'm wiser, but also less confidently carefree.
With constant change, self-discovery & confidence is a never-ending challenge.

I love what Enya wrote...The more you learn... the more you realise how little you know.
It's humbling, but ultimately satisfying because it means you're not 'finished' and there is so much still to see and do!! :D Sometimes I've rather been right than find truth... & what is truth anyway - just perspective.
But finding new perspectives, new possibilities is exciting & full of hope & healing!

Gauss
01-04-2011, 06:59 PM
This is something i've been struggling with since i began awakening. The world is not what I thought it was, it doesnt work the way i thought it did and it's left me confused and disillusioned. I don't trust my judgement anymore.

Anyone expierence this during their ascension/awakening?

I searched for years and years with desperation before I found Falun Dafa. It is extremely hard to find the right path in my opinion.


/Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good

Internal Queries
01-04-2011, 07:26 PM
I searched for years and years with desperation before I found Falun Dafa. It is extremely hard to find the right path in my opinion.


/Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good


well, instead of "finding" a path sometimes it's more advantageous to forge ones own. yeah, it's harder work because you have no ready made path that's been cleared and trampled down by others. and you have to hack your Way through your own tangled undergrowth and build your own bridges across the ravines but you'll be the first and only One to view the new vistas you discover.

Perspective
01-04-2011, 11:38 PM
well, instead of "finding" a path sometimes it's more advantageous to forge ones own. yeah, it's harder work because you have no ready made path that's been cleared and trampled down by others. and you have to hack your Way through your own tangled undergrowth and build your own bridges across the ravines but you'll be the first and only One to view the new vistas you discover. True, but wouldn't that be kind of lonely?
It seems that relationships are such a major part of life & spirituality.
Maybe we need to simultaneously view other vistas, so we can relate with others we love.

Internal Queries
01-04-2011, 11:53 PM
True, but wouldn't that be kind of lonely?
It seems that relationships are such a major part of life & spirituality.
Maybe we need to simultaneously view other vistas, so we can relate with others we love.


hmmm i fail to understand how forging ones own spiritual path instead of following a plan prescribed by someOne else would cause one to be isolated from other people.

as far as i can tell even is one if living in an ashram full of devotees and everyOne chants the same chant one is still singular in ones experience though one is following the same spiritual plan as everyOne else in the ashram. i'm simply advocating adventures in the spiritual wilderness ... to go where no One has gone before.

Perspective
02-04-2011, 10:17 AM
Hi Internal Queries, :)
lol If you had any idea what my life's like, you'd understand.
I grew up strictly religious... almost every aspect of life was dictated by religious beliefs (food, clothing, who to date/marry, budget, & TIME).
I realize that even within groups, each individual experiences spirituality uniquely... yet to be part of most groups implies some conformity... being on the same page.

This last year, I've grown away from that group's thinking. I simply have seen more & can't pretend to believe what they do anymore. When I say "they" - I mean almost everyone in my life! Last summer, I made the mistake (?) of voicing some of my logic for believing differently... & since then, I haven't heard from them. This is family, we're talking about & it really hurts!

So, now I feel like I can't be open about what I think & feel... without it ruining relationships... so I feel a distance between people I used to feel close to. I feel the need to somehow bridge this gap... so we can relate again. That's why I've been restudying scriptures for deeper meaning - so I can not only explore new spiritual vistas, but also still relate to the vistas that so many of my loved ones see.

I hope that clarifies what I meant.

NightSpirit
02-04-2011, 10:22 AM
This is something i've been struggling with since i began awakening. The world is not what I thought it was, it doesnt work the way i thought it did and it's left me confused and disillusioned. I don't trust my judgement anymore.

Anyone expierence this during their ascension/awakening?

Hi rosewater

Sorry you're feeling that way..its a bummer! So am all ears...would you like to say something about what has made you feel so confused and disillusioned?

NightSpirit
02-04-2011, 10:29 AM
Hi Internal Queries, :)
lol If you had any idea what my life's like, you'd understand.
I grew up strictly religious... almost every aspect of life was dictated by religious beliefs (food, clothing, who to date/marry, budget, & TIME).
I realize that even within groups, each individual experiences spirituality uniquely... yet to be part of most groups implies some conformity... being on the same page.

This last year, I've grown away from that group's thinking. I simply have seen more & can't pretend to believe what they do anymore. When I say "they" - I mean almost everyone in my life! Last summer, I made the mistake (?) of voicing some of my logic for believing differently... & since then, I haven't heard from them. This is family, we're talking about & it really hurts!

So, now I feel like I can't be open about what I think & feel... without it ruining relationships... so I feel a distance between people I used to feel close to. I feel the need to somehow bridge this gap... so we can relate again. That's why I've been restudying scriptures for deeper meaning - so I can not only explore new spiritual vistas, but also still relate to the vistas that so many of my loved ones see.

I hope that clarifies what I meant.

awww..its sometimes difficult to break away from conformity, isnt it? ...especially in spiritual way of life. You see (and i'm sure you know this) people reject what they fear before they'll reach out with an open mind. It means listening and perhaps changing their own beliefs that they've kept so sacred all this time. It's even more difficult when those people involve family. The spiritual path is a lonely one, in the sense that its unique to its explorer. No one else can venture into that path and that leaves one feeling isolated and alone. I know, because i've been there myself. But with persistance, they do eventually come round once they realise you haven't grown 10 heads and 6 tails LOL

Its very important to stick to your resolve and stay on your own path.

Cheers

GentleStrength
02-04-2011, 11:09 AM
thank you everyone! i guess i was finally set in my beliefs, then i get hit with this lol i don't know how to process it, my beliefs were so off from how the universe really works, i find myself questioning everything i knew. It's extremely uncomfortable hope it passes.

Most people live their lives without ever examining the beliefs they have and whether they are true or even helpful to the life they would like to experience. It can certainly be a little discomforting to examine long-held beliefs about the universe and find that they just aren't true. BUT, once you release these mis-understanding that you were taught and find the truth of how the universe really works you will have an absolutely wonderful foundation to build your life experience with.

KNOWING truth is an amazing feeling. It doesn't matter if others agree with you, you will be completely secure in the truth you know and live.

Here are a couple of the things I believe to be true about you...
You Exist
You are loved unconditionally
You are a cherished aspect of All That Is

I hope you enjoy your new journey of self discovery!

Love and Light

Perspective
02-04-2011, 04:15 PM
awww..its sometimes difficult to break away from conformity, isnt it? ...especially in spiritual way of life. You see (and i'm sure you know this) people reject what they fear before they'll reach out with an open mind. It means listening and perhaps changing their own beliefs that they've kept so sacred all this time. It's even more difficult when those people involve family. The spiritual path is a lonely one, in the sense that its unique to its explorer. No one else can venture into that path and that leaves one feeling isolated and alone. I know, because i've been there myself. But with persistance, they do eventually come round once they realise you haven't grown 10 heads and 6 tails LOL

Its very important to stick to your resolve and stay on your own path.

Cheers Thanks for your understanding, encouragment & humor, NightSpriit. :hug3:


GentleStrength,
I found your comments comforting. Your forum name suits you. :)

zipzip
02-04-2011, 04:33 PM
Hi Rosewater,

yes, I understand. It seems my life coasted alot better before I tried to become "enlightened" lol.

However, take what you believe and give yourself a break. Be easy on yourself.

zipzip:hug3:

Roselove
02-04-2011, 08:35 PM
thank you everyone! hopefully i regain my sanity soon lol

GentleStrength
03-04-2011, 05:52 AM
thank you everyone! hopefully i regain my sanity soon lol

Sanity is over rated! :D

Once you regain your joy and are secure in knowing you are unconditionally loved by All That Is... The party starts!:occasion14:

Love and Light

Internal Queries
03-04-2011, 03:29 PM
Hi Internal Queries, :)
lol If you had any idea what my life's like, you'd understand.
I grew up strictly religious... almost every aspect of life was dictated by religious beliefs (food, clothing, who to date/marry, budget, & TIME).
I realize that even within groups, each individual experiences spirituality uniquely... yet to be part of most groups implies some conformity... being on the same page.

This last year, I've grown away from that group's thinking. I simply have seen more & can't pretend to believe what they do anymore. When I say "they" - I mean almost everyone in my life! Last summer, I made the mistake (?) of voicing some of my logic for believing differently... & since then, I haven't heard from them. This is family, we're talking about & it really hurts!

So, now I feel like I can't be open about what I think & feel... without it ruining relationships... so I feel a distance between people I used to feel close to. I feel the need to somehow bridge this gap... so we can relate again. That's why I've been restudying scriptures for deeper meaning - so I can not only explore new spiritual vistas, but also still relate to the vistas that so many of my loved ones see.

I hope that clarifies what I meant.

ah. yeah. i can relate. i lost ALL my Christian friends when i expressed my newly forming agnosticism. each in turn tried to re-convince me that their beliefs were the ONLY Truth and since my new agnosticism included a strict practice of self honesty i couldn't agree. i was called a few Biblical insults, consigned to hell and shunned. i was sad since some of those folks had been my friends for many years but oh well ... i guess they weren't really my friends anyway. one woman with whom i had shared a 5 year friendship told me there was no point in her being friends with me anymore since she was going to heaven and i was going to hell.

GentleStrength
05-04-2011, 07:26 AM
ah. yeah. i can relate. i lost ALL my Christian friends when i expressed my newly forming agnosticism. each in turn tried to re-convince me that their beliefs were the ONLY Truth and since my new agnosticism included a strict practice of self honesty i couldn't agree. i was called a few Biblical insults, consigned to hell and shunned. i was sad since some of those folks had been my friends for many years but oh well ... i guess they weren't really my friends anyway. one woman with whom i had shared a 5 year friendship told me there was no point in her being friends with me anymore since she was going to heaven and i was going to hell.

Got to love the belief system that says, "Believe what we do or you shall be banned and ostracized!". What an example of acceptance and love. :rolleyes:

I respect the strength you had to follow your own path even though your "friends" did everything they could to deny your truth. :hello2:

I hope you have many new supportive friends who believe in you and your truth regardless if it exactly matches theirs or not.

Love and Light